Your leaders’ stirring way of treating you like garbage is designed to teach you a lesson, namely to pipe down and do as told, idiot. The only way you’ll learn to comply is through a planned program of humiliation. Luckily for you, seeing the public as a worthless burden is one of the few things politicians do well. From major violations to petty irritants, you’re here to serve your masters, who pay you back by mushing up your vegetables with only the slightest of sighs. They barely even stab themselves with forks. Watch them presume you can’t do anything right as they do everything wrong.
Ingrate Americans never ponder the damage caused by living, much less thinking and acting. Uncontrollable bureaucracies are necessary to control impulses to enjoy the day. It’s your fault the EPA claims the human-created miracle of flight is a menace, the FDA decides what ingredients are good for you without the option to be bad, and the FCC slams the brakes on humans accelerating through an unregulated internet. Also, you need insurance subsidies if you’re going to be sick, you big baby. Sitting still would help out those who boss you around. But no: you have to be so inconsiderate. Your minders are exhausted from telling you what to do, so just obey the rolled-up newspaper.
Life’s supervisors are too important to face voters. Your perception that the federal workforce is stocked with know-nothing incompetent putzes trying to run everything just angers them. You wouldn’t believe how drunk on power useless nobodies could get. They really dig the taste of blood. Grumps still whisper that this White House delegates bullying to the worst sort of government employees, namely those ruining our lives without having to know the chance of being fired. What: do you want people who care for you to not make rent? They deserve to afford laser tag after a full day.
How do you even get food, much less chew on your own? You can’t care for yourself, silly. The thought of you trying to pay bills is quaint. You may as well call people by their genders based on chromosomes or suggest the Confederate flag honors war dead, you nasty reactionary. Those notions are best left in history with the sexist racists like affinity for the Constitution. If you follow that crinkly rulebook literally, you’d be responsible to provide yourself and virtually never come in contact with your government. Do you want to be hungry and lonely, citizen?
The newfangled way is to end stress by taking what’s dispensed instead of working. As a result, the ultimate source of compassion needs to give sham insurance to all. Well, “give” is a loaded term, as it will cost your dignity. And all that purportedly free junk bleeds the economy, so forget looking for work even if you foolishly hope to spend time doing another’s bidding. All you’d get out of that is accomplishment and payment. Instead, be at the mercy of people whose job is taking from others for you. The pittance doesn’t last long. But being at welfare’s mercy is viewed as beating life as a wage slave.
To be fair, you deserve to be jobless and bossed around on account of how you haven’t been ruled out as a terrorist. Tossing you in the suspect pool is this administration’s way of not discriminating. Using things like patterns to find suspects would harm feelings of bomb plotters. The NSA is worried about your legacy, which is why phone records are part of archived history. Sure, having everything you do recorded is not as exciting as it seems. And authorities are unable to keep you safe, which is one of their very few actual tasks. Disclose you have a rattlesnake flag to help them narrow the field.
Harassment for existence sucks no matter the scale. Self-appointed supervisors think it’s their right to make your decisions in this most patronizing era. It’ll cost you: those lucky enough to work can only make so much before leaders pick where earnings should be invested. Sure, none of their get-rich schemes have gotten anyone close. But they have high hopes for this high-speed rail stock.
The White House and minions are awful to you because that’s why they think they won. We obviously elected them to push us around. A slim majority obviously wanted to remove the burden of choice in the name of glorious submission, so everyone else has to cope with being trampled by people who can’t stand on their own. The goons’ efforts to discourage entrepreneurship have been partly effective. The humiliation will continue for as enough sickos enjoy it. Curse those who made it a valid career choice.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.