Everything from Star Wars could beat everything from Star Trek. We should pick stupid arguments that are fun, not ones that will sink our country to the next sub-level. People are already nauseated by that sulfur stench, and the flames are getting more intense. This place seems to have a giant carbon footprint. Don’t they care about Mother Earth?
The pointless debate over electability is a figurative argument in the actual world, and we’ve had far too many of those in these Big-Brother-is-irking-you era. An electable candidate is one with half-decent ideas, not one so dull that voters are lulled into supporting. Strong ideals semi-impress even those who disagree. The personal goal of wanting to win doesn’t count.
We’re beyond tired of conservatives who aren’t, especially since the empty suits can’t win as promised. Mitt Romney was supposed to be electable. So was John McCain. Both were as passionate as they were committed to properly shrinking government, with ensuing pained concession speeches as proof. It’s weird that yacht club snots weren’t forthright.
Establishment bores assured us the blandest options wouldn’t scare away the electorate by being cranky right-wingers. The attempt fails in part because, no matter what, journalists will treat them as such. Those who want a properly-limited government have been blessed with challengers who won’t pursue that goal despite being portrayed as enemies of the elderly and offspring of single mothers.
We would be lucky if Republicans were as dedicated to the Constitution as caricatured. Instead, our ever-balanced media treats everyone from the Party of Lincoln as an Ayn Rand devotee even for those whose favorite Fox News host is Greta. Those who already hate politics pass when the choice is between a feeble candidate with somewhat liberal concepts and a hardcore version.
Demonization of opposition to statism is universal in a way health care is not. From the Ghost of Reagan to Zombie Rockefeller, everyone who’s ever walked past a Republican campaign headquarters gets harassed as agents of Nazi Satan by very calm liberals. Meanwhile, conservatives who actually pay attention are too frustrated to bother mustering the energy to cheer for someone who’ll be even more of a letdown than usual. Some may not even tick the box for their purported guy, while those who do will not muster enthusiasm. I’m not about to not about to risk friendships by proclaiming the need to vote for Mike Huckabee.
We may as well get someone who’s actually conservative considering the very fair media will brand any nominee as a John Birch-embracing prepper. That fortunately means a person who will probably have achievements. Genuine conservative candidates tend to come from states with jobs, which is as rare today as a country getting along better with America since 2009.
The uncanny coincidence of ample idle time everywhere Barack Obama has community organized is as striking as his taste for bad boys at the expense of old chums. Nobody thinks you’re cool because you’re smoking Cuban cigars with the mullahs while ashing on Israel. By contrast, brave GOP governors swim against the tide in a perilous era where the economy tries to drag everyone out to be consumed by whirlpools and sea dragons.
Successful campaign managers understand there will always be sad sacks who aren’t convinced that Americans can help ourselves by working for each other and spending on things we want. Abandon the tens of thousands of glazed eyes at Bernie Sanders reeducation seminars.
Writing off the deluded makes sense as an economical and practical matter. Trying to appeal to everyone is a guaranteed way to reach no one. That may be bad news for anyone peddling John Kasich bumper stickers, but even prosperous times will be bad for those making poor decisions.
It’s lamentably natural for those who think a lukewarm Republican will win over smoldering Democrats to not grasp how finance functions, either. Those determined to prop up purported moderates know as little about weighing costs versus benefits as the aforementioned diluted candidates they lethargically endorse. Sell a product nobody wants: that’ll convince everyone to buy.
Besides, half-assed liberals aren’t really moderates. A restrained Republican should be one who favors a slightly higher flat tax rate, not a slightly slower debt increase. And it’s acceptable to only want to carpet bomb Iranian nuke sites, not turn them into glass. Any frustrating sap only out to slow the quantity of unpleasant bureaucratic doofuses making your decisions isn’t going to accomplish anything worthwhile, only in part because he stands approximately zero chance of triumphing. Wishy-washy dullards don’t usually even get the chance to bore the public into mediocrity.
Voters will go with a dedicated income-wrangler to the half-caff gutless Gerald Fordian version. Relinquishing principles doesn’t broaden appeal. But at least you feel lousy for having listened to Milli Vanilli only because your classmates thought they rocked. The soul-rotting phoniness didn’t mean invitations to cool parties then or winning parties now.
Rejection is a fitting punishment that can be avoided with the damn willingness to stand up for oneself. On the other hand, we better double-check how many times Bob Dole was elected president.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.