Most people learn that doing and saying are different things by kindergarten. But we live in an era where some never grow up. Paying your student loans is as obsolete as getting insurance. Enjoy your comic book films. The worst idea is that good ideas alone make the world better. Never mind how crummy the concepts in question actually are.
The deleterious effect of leftist dogma upon semi-implementation should temper enthusiasm. While shocking, we must face the possibility that politicians sometimes promise things that won’t happen. The only elected officials who can skip confession are those who assure us they’ll do nothing.
Please stop fretting over the end of the world. It’s only human life that’ll end. Peacemongers say they’ve got a way to keep Iran’s atoms whole. After all, they wrote it down. You think a proposal could go wrong? That’s anti-science nonsense.
The clownish teachers’ pets say their paperwork will stop certain parts of the globe from glowing green. The difference between us and them is that we’ve actually read what Iran gets in exchange for smacking us about. Buying term papers off the internet is finally biting these academic frauds in the keister.
The Iran deal will follow the flowchart, as the rotten bastards sympathetic to our enemy in a war to preserve society took a vow to not hide anything during the weeks before inspections. Checking under their rugs is Islamophobic. Do you think they’ll fly away on them in their turbans and curly-toed boots? It’s no sillier than thinking America’s sworn antagonists will turn into angels after we give Starbucks gift cards to their diabolical nuclear scientists.
Words can’t bring peace, especially when spoken by John Kerry. Take this windy administration’s regrettable habit of reaching out to countries who have a history of wishing America was destroyed and doing everything in their feeble power to make it so. We’ve done what we’ve can to isolate those whose sick beliefs are contagious. But global citizens now bond by virtue of swapping illnesses.
The problem with reaching out to our enemies is that they’re jerks. The chicken-and-egg quandary isn’t as perplexing as it seems, as rotten paradises like Cuba picked fights with what remains a sort-of beacon for decency and liberty. The goons are smashing eggshells because of chicken behavior.
President Costanza thinks it’s not a lie if you believe it. The Jerk Store called, and you’ll never believe who they’re running out of. He still truly believes making everyone get insurance would provoke quality. Obamacare was supposed to keep us healthy at a bargain. Yet, forced participation somehow raises prices, as if government inexplicably can’t manage costs. Could it have something to do with how there’s no reason to watch spending when customers can’t shop elsewhere? I also miss the funds we had before the government spent them. They don’t seem to have reappeared. Well, it’s good to focus on spiritual life instead of worldly concerns.
It’s so much fun to associate with folks who say they’ll do amazing things. You can find many of them attached to barstools. Bellowers of grandiose plans assure us everything would work perfectly if they had just a little power and money. But it turns out even a lot doesn’t help.
This White House still maintains they’re going to ensure everyone at a discount, turn Iran’s centrifuges into pita dough spinners, and improve internet speeds using the government that brought us the post office. Bettors could make fortunes wagering every single thing the party in power says will fail to happen if gambling weren’t illegal. Uncannily, the same politicians took your right to wager. They don’t seem to trust you.
A written plan always works perfectly; ask anyone who’s been to war. It’s fitting that such a pompous executive epitomizes a mouth that moves faster than feet. Someone who gabbed his way into global prominence persists in insisting he’s cool because he says so. The ultimate poser fooled enough suckers to get elected student council president. He’s not just making the cafeteria miserable. This world’s as dumb as high school. The idiotic cliques and pointless classes are almost as bad as getting hassled by teachers who think it’s important. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. The remnants lecture.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.