An Obvious Future

Sorry for the spoilers, but we know what’s going to happen.  This presidency’s unfortunate consequences could’ve been predicted in summer 2008 by anyone capable of paying attention.  That’s the tricky part. This has not been an era for historical awareness.  There are apparently too few popular apps for it.

The contemporary ignorance of ancient ways presents an advantage to those who recognize reoccurrences.  The only problem is convincing enough people that we can tell bad things are in store. We can also accurately forecast that Katy Perry’s next “song” will need several cowriters, all of whom should feel ashamed of the output. All you need is access to a track record.

Noticing patterns is now a revolutionary talent.  Like all other skills in 2015 America, it’s to be regulated and disparaged.  We better tax practitioners as well, especially since this White House’s critics keep dangerously noting that spreading money keeps making it disappear. Why would people who didn’t earn something be careless with it, wonder those who’ve never dealt with kids?  The adult children in charge assure us they should be entrusted with what you’ve earned.

Big spenders of your checks have dangerously concluded the present level of federal spending is the proper baseline, which is discredited by anyone who knows none of the first 43 at this post didn’t need to spend so maniacally to fail. Somehow, many of them were able to make the government semi-function without continually flipping the debt clock.  Leaving people be was very unsophisticated.

The current staff is trying to help with methods that’ve only failed every time ever.  You can lower prices artificially for natural shortages, if that’s your sick fetish. Good intentions have only make daily life bad one million previous times, which means we’re due to break that streak.  Jump from a bridge and fall up next time.

Try being human for a change.  By lamentable contrast, our president acts like a computer program: the same data will always generate the same results.  Even worse, he’s the Windows of executives.  The latest crashes stem from goons dictating foreign policy.  Handing lunches to bullies is bound to make them stop.  At least spend high school learning why it’s miserable.

Those who were born before yesterday realize that projecting strength spooks the nefarious, who respect strength more than virtue.  Trying to slap them some skin to prove we’re cool doesn’t forge friendships, unless evil people no longer exist.

The pernicious suckers in charge think they can convince anyone to be swell despite frightening evidence to the contrary.  Noting the bloodthirsty jerks in Iran will cheat is as true as it is obvious.  But that won’t convince those modest minds who’ve concluded they’re going to usher in peace on Earth.  Why did nobody before now try to go without war?

We should burn these demon soothsayers who keep being right that things will get crummy. They dare to proclaim that government should stand up to miscreant Persians, not Americans with bills.  Barack Obama is scared of how his foes keep knowing what’s going to happen like inscrutable wisemen in dusty corners of bazaars. The benighted executive should open his mind to realize everyone counting the days until January 2017 merely notices how the tea leaves aligned in the past.

The president compensates for fear by acting unnervingly confident in bafflingly misguided predictions about his programs. Sure, none of them have come true. In fact, the precise opposite happens. It’s uncanny!  If one’s archival awareness begins in early 2009, one should still be able to tell that this president is full of it.  Now, someone tell him.

This reality-based White House is not involved in wizardry like those diviners who accurately claimed he’d make the economy stall and the Castros thrive. Conservative warlocks clearly used spells to ruin his dreams just to win elections and out of racism; it can’t be that their political foes took note of earlier dunces flaming out spectacularly with the same agenda.  At least those floundering geezers didn’t have examples from which to learn.

Noting the government isn’t good at anything spurs jealousy among those who refuse to accept results are consistent.  Shove an MMA champ, and maybe he won’t put you in a submission hold next time. Ignoring the experiment results has been a regular situation during Doctor Obama’s time in the lab.  I thought he liked science.

The future’s rotten, but not because of the internal combustion engine. Despite Criswell-quality prophecies, human progress won’t turn a multibillion-year-old planet into a dump after a century of comfort. Instead, heed those readers of entrails who are able to spot similarities.  It’s hard to accept humans even existed before this glorious era of cooperative stagnation.  But legends persist that people not only were around during those dark times but thrived while largely unsupervised.  Create the same conditions, and it can happen again. That augury does seems distressing. Let’s see if the next trillion borrowed from the Chinese and our grandkids is the sum that turns the economy.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s