The New Abnormal

Raise the hot tub temperature one degree every few minutes until it’s boiling to murder those too comfortable to notice.  This does not constitute an endorsement or legal advice.  But be careful of those tricking you into getting burned.  People never notice that what’s normal is disappearing when our beloved ideals are confiscated gradually.  Comfort is never permanent no matter how much you’re used to it; in fact, the cushiness is exactly why we don’t foresee hardships. Inversely, the good news is that agony is reversible.  Don’t trust the FEMA ointment, as it’s just scooped from mayonnaise tubs.

Nihilism is only helpful as a quick catharsis, although you still only need three chords to express yourself.  Rebelling against what made things good is the surest way for punk to self-perpetuate.  Instead, we have to cope with Miley Cyrus.  Contemporary ingrates are reminiscent of British voters rejecting Winston Churchill after he saved their nation and civilization, although I blame him for not simultaneously installing mandatory insurance while crushing fascism.

At least geezer wankers didn’t have their own example from which to learn.  Today’s voters have access to all the information ever, including the wait times of associated with compulsory health care. But they prefer idle amusement. Perhaps long wait times of their own will inspire research on what happens when distraction is the only thing required for contentedness.

The lack of gratitude for the amazing everyday things that have been preserved leads to crummy times.  Those responsible for promoting resentment demand you appreciate how they showed you the way. Tracking what’s real in this Matrix/Inception world is nowhere near as confusing as coping with ludicrous orders.

Too many in this comfy land of spelled-out rights don’t realize what’s surrounding them. Asking a fish about water will lead to a confused look from one eye.  Blame how it’s not exciting when things are fine. We find it hard to notice what’s functioning, as things going well are literally not news. Heed the wisdom of incessant complainers.

On the other hand is a fist.  You may feel a vague sense that the confused rage which manifests itself in murdered cops and unhappiness among those who have money for supercomputers stowed in the pockets of the costly denim they wear is abnormal. Suppress that subversive notion as your last autonomous choice. Marie Harf will do the thinking for all of us now.

This inspirational stint is embodied by how we’re supposed to presume bad things are permanent.  Everyone seems too weary to do anything more physically taxing than check their Snapchats.  Luckily, the despondent can enjoy 10-second tales numerous times from the seated or prone position without wasting too many precious calories.  Any attempt to repair what’s clearly a busted country brings condemnation for lack of patriotism from those who complained about everything American through 2008.

It’s no longer patriotic to kvetch now that all the things that inspired patriotism are caked with graffiti.  Removing the knives in our backs will cause pain. Republicans want to take away the only way the infirm have ever found alleviation, namely the IRS punishing those who don’t buy flimsy health coverage.  And the downtrodden will starve if we don’t maintain the outrageous rate of food stamp issuance. There’s no money for companies to expand because they have to fund same food stamps.  And the minimum wage hike will mean nothing gets started. There’s no time to appreciate irony. Please help.  By law.

The branding iron will feel numb soon.  Those of us who don’t think the USA’s middle letter stands for “Social justice” are supposed to be used to debt, sharing hospital beds with lepers, and American modesty by now.  Tearing down everything that makes the nation great was supposed to crush us jingoists while deterring enemies.  Yet both have higher energy reserves than expected.  That must be why the demolition experts in the White House lump us together.

Stagnation is unavoidable.  What are you going to do: be productive?  The government would have to stop addressing your material wants for that to happen, and such a risky scheme sounds incredibly perilous.  The possibility that chance exists makes this plane of existence frightening.  Hunker down for entitlements. That last bit of force left could be used to push us from the cliff edge.  But maybe it’d be best to instead attend an anti-cops rally.  The contempt for decency may provide enough fuel to keep going.

Your willingness to fight back is making you puny humans tough to subjugate.  It’s time to recline in your information comfort pod after consuming enough protein to sustain you through the evening alliance update broadcast from Jon Stewart’s replacement.  Besides, sitting there angry is the only option for killing hours.  Horrid rich guys took all the jobs, and they certainly wouldn’t hire you to help so they could make more.  That sounds beneficial for everyone involved, which means there must be a catch.  The only way to cooperate is by command.  You were supposed to be used to it by now.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

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We’ll Get It Done

Some ingenuous neighbors may trust essential services to people so useless that we put them in office so they’re not near tills and power tools.  But I’ll cynically decline.  The importance of everyday transactions is precisely why the government shouldn’t oversee them.  Keep them busy with proper assignments like paving roads and dispatching bad guys, with the latter to be ground into the former.  It should be all about efficiency.  Society will benefit if you cover my costs, say those who figure they’re owned a round.  They’re doing the bar a favor by coming in.

Maybe those who have led the charge into the ground turn competent when it comes to babysitting, which is why otherwise sensible parents let the academic equivalent of Obamacare control their kids for 30 hours per week.  Government is as good at education as it is anything else.  Those who graduated from public schools may think that’s a compliment, which is yet another reason that even nuns are preferable to public school pros.  When a ruler-armed lady who’s sworn off men is a viable alternative to a purportedly free education, you know unions are doing their jobs.

The solution of a bill for the school services your brats use has somehow become as toxic as letting seniors plan their own retirements.  Dare to suggest tuition to parents if you’d like a shrieking freakout.  Similarly, the notion of newly-legal adults getting charged to train themselves in college will inspire tantrums that would mortify kindergarteners.  The important lesson involves making others pay for your things.  As a bonus, charging others really keeps down costs.  That’s why a semester of tuition is only about as much as a dinner at Red Lobster, at least if you order dessert.

The main thing leaders can do to help is find themselves a distraction. They certainly won’t actively assist.  Give politicians a stack of magazines to sort so we can get down to managing the economy without even trying.  Tell them they can make collages from Highlights Magazine if they promise to be careful with the safety scissors.  Those in the public sector should only offer good wishes, particularly considering the quality of individual we typically send there.

People helping themselves could help others, but only if they’re selfish enough to commit.  A new store making a plaza less vacant may draw other businesses while creating jobs in a way self-appointed societal planners can’t. To be fair, politicians who aren’t in the private sector for good reason are skilled at misplacing our currency.  The usefulness of initiative doesn’t mean the government should fund it; in fact, the genuine idiots ostensibly in charge will only screw up the dispersal process after their skim.

Worry about what isn’t there.  See what businesses didn’t get built because the billionaire extorted a new container for his team by threatening to move his athletic side to Topeka. The home municipality may lose enterprise to higher taxes, but at least residents can watch football if they can afford tickets. Instead, strive for a world where GE has to sell lemonade to stay in business because taxpayers get to invest what they made. Billionaire conglomerates should feel shame about taking welfare.

Take one look at me and feel lucky that “public health” is a contradiction. My massive liver and more massive mass are my problems. Individuals are either in okay shape or could lose a percentage of their personal weight.  But present approaches make us care for others by force in that famous progressive sense of compassion.  We didn’t get a say in the decision that expenses are communal, which I guess makes sense in its own atrocious way.

Who else would help if not us?  Them, I guess.  The worst part is how assistance is always available. That’s at least true until the notion of charity is buried alongside initiative and liberty. Kind humans are more than willing to help, but you have to ask nicely.  That request is apparently humiliating to liberals who are only comfortable when the state is barking orders.  Otherwise, it’s only one’s conscience expressing a desire to help, and that gets drowned out by Elizabeth Warren YouTube clips.

We must decide that we’re capable of decisions.  Humans can care for ourselves through the process of controlling limbs and grasping items with the odd non-finger on the inside ends. Trading for what we need sounds like a possibility if we’re permitted to create ourselves.  Call it the “free market” if nobody’s thought of that name yet.  It’s not a zero-government goal but statistically close to it.  A little help enforcing contracts would be of great assistance.  But we’re the ones who decide what we do and don’t sign.  Our ink is our choice.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Mood Swings

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best, claim those who are always at their worst.  Truly graceful swings from lovely to abysmal are uncommon.  Electoral trends tilt from one edge to the other, which sadly often appears to be the same side.  Politics defy physics.  Rotten times don’t have to last forever, which is heartening to those optimists who think we’re living through America’s death scene.  It simply requires as much work as pain. While we’re not looking forward to the repair work, the deterrence created by sleep deprivation is irrelevant in this exhausting world of ours.

The most helpful thing to those hoping to regain power is the other side screwing up.  Considering the arrogant putz filling the Oval Office chair, that’s not a challenge. The only thing that could stop Republicans from capitalizing is doing what they always do.  Acting like the opposite of their foes would help.  Nobody able to sit up and read should want to copy the Party of Biden’s efforts.  But if those in politics were wise, they wouldn’t spend lives affiliated to a party.

As you’d expect for government work, trends do not form a perfect pendulum swing. Perception is distorted in a sadly fitting manner.  Superficial observers conclude that each extreme ruins things, leading to the other faction getting its big shot.  But it’s really both parties ruining things, not ideologies. The typical political arc resembles nothing orderly like a balanced weight obeying the spinning globe.  Instead, it oscillates from a liberal screwing up to a pretend conservative acting like a liberal screwing up.  It’ll predictably come back and smack those who aren’t watching.

Those who thought right-wing monstrosities dragged us down are always shocked upon learning that the government spends a bit more than the unfathomable sum it confiscates from the fruitful.  Or maybe it’s those infamous limited-government entitlements that doom us to Chinese Debt Hell.  You Diyu not want to land there.  A president who acts like he’ll cut spending is one who hopes you like surprises.

Those searching for differences between the parties will be dismayed to recall the depressing end to George W. Bush’s run, which was good preparation for today’s even more crushing times.  It is somewhat nice to know government isn’t the solution no matter the equation.  If you want liberals to like his initiatives, leave his name blank.

Those who refer to the last Republican president as Hitler W. Satan should know he spent taxpayer money like they adore. But the guy from Reagan’s team was in charge, which means the economy could only have failed because he was using Atlas Shrugged as a guidebook. To my amateur outlook, bribing people who couldn’t afford mortgages seems like a liberal concept.  Still, tracking what side likes which things seems exhausting.  Let’s make America great again instead.

You can choose anything you’d like, as long as you’re fine with the Subway breakfast menu.  Does the place that used to employ Jared bake cookies that early?  Nobody’s fine in the Obamacare-or-fine era. Regrettably yet fittingly in the era of government consolidation of commercial options for your benefit, you get to choose one party or another that copies the first.  Humans capable of infinite choices in a country founded upon not limiting them get to pick between Democrats and Republicans acting like statists, the difference being one is honest about it. Voters go for the straightforward thief.

Those who joined a party which thinks it has a moral responsibility to spend your paychecks couldn’t be happier about the essential lack of competition in the candidate selection process.  That’s not just because races between big and huge spenders match their model of an efficient government kindly doling out affordable insurance.  In both cases, neither works.  Democrats get what they want either way, namely their purported foes acquiescing until losing.  It’s crummy for the country, but that’s irrelevant when there are elections to win.

As for anyone masochistically interested in gaining office to mop up endless spills by the other clumsy side, it’d help to stick to something decent.  A spending freeze might finally defrost our checking accounts.  Watering down drinks doesn’t impress boozers as much as you’d think. Republicans should notice it’s their surrender caucus that gets wiped out by those who don’t respect white flags.  Tearing down enterprise at entrepreneurs’ expense is another function the private sector can’t address.

One side frustratingly tries to dilute the other’s message instead of having the nerve to sell its own.  At least half the parties should be against bootlegging, especially knowing that an electorate capable of sniffing out phony goods will shop elsewhere.  Let people make their own real things.  Respecting that simple principle would aid their quest to get at least one vote over half in each race.  But maybe those calm souls who think Ted Cruz makes Satan ashamed will go GOP if we expand Medicaid just a little more.

Hurt the King’s Feelings

It’s natural for failures to lash out. Practicing would be of great help to them, but that takes more effort than the typical idler is interested in exerting.  Children in their 50s never learn how to respond to criticism.  After feeling frustrated because they turn gold into mud, eternal brats naturally get angry at those now coated in filth.

It’s really frustrating because they just knew their blueprints to build wealth by giving everyone the same number of boards would totally be structurally sound.  It’s so mean to point out contractors are installing our hardwood floors with sledgehammers. You can’t shop elsewhere.

Respect the regent especially when he’s wrong, as that teaches us commoners an important lesson about life being challenging.  His Majesty the Royal Baby Barack Obama thinks bipartisanship means everyone coming together to do as he pleases. It’s really the fault of those who succeeded previously and thus set an unreasonable standard, which is why the arsonist condemns firehoses. Disgustingly claiming that those against a deal that will arm an already-cheating Iran sided with same global scumbags is odd from the one letting them split atoms. Attack those who understand what comes next before it’s too late to get what you want.  As for why you want it, that’s for a team of shrinks to uncover.

Condemning those who brought prosperity is an obvious coping mechanism. Still, it’d be better to learn from mistakes.  But daring to suggest those opposed to you keeping your earnings might have ruined motivation and the economy implies they could be wrong.  That’s not what their professors taught them.  Important little Ivy League gems have truly never been exposed to other ideas except in caricatures. Anyone who learned about life and politics from Jon Stewart should be banished to a life of temping.

It’s easy to see why today’s class of ruling hypocrites would overcompensate.  The notion that rich bastards rip off the destitute helps one face secret guilt over thinking everyone coasted as easily as, say, a Hawaiian brat who shifted from the most exclusive private schools to impotent rabble-rousing to the presidency.  America notices his delusions no matter how poor he’s made it. Replace him with a cask-smasher who got where she is because her sleazy husband greased his way into prominence.

I’d be cranky if I set about to ruin America’s most prominent city, which is why I don’t do it.  But goddamn Red Sox fan and giant horse’s ass Bill de Blasio has big schemes to shrink New York City down to size. He can do nothing but moan when Gotham again resembles its portrayal in Johnny Carson monologues.  The jobless wonder insists chaos isn’t again the city’s most popular condition, and who’s right?  I just wish we had a standard like livable boroughs turned into beggars’ cesspools.

Responding like a wounded middle school to fed-up citizens who dare snip at him is easier than his scheme to make the metropolis great through forcing the successful to fund mandatory pre-K.  Panhandlers are the only ones thriving, at least until everyone else runs out of coins.

By sheer coincidence, the most prickly public quasi-servants always have zero real-world experience. Instead of spending their youths washing dishes or fetching coffee, the present reigning class spent decades doing nothing but learning theories, and atrocious ones, at that.  The absolutely unworkable ideology doesn’t just mean rotten results.  Anyone still deluded enough to think government is anything other than a cash bar at a third wedding for which you’re paying is bound to be cranky at those accurately noting we’re sober for the worst reasons.

Give those who destroyed all we hold dear a little more absolute authority so they can install utter pleasantness.  Those very familiar with this universe’s nature are so convinced they can perfect mankind with just a little more power than they’re allowed will never stop yearning for de facto fascism.  Exploiting the privilege of issuing proclamations that subvert that whole bill-into-law jazz is their way of showing how they’d manufacture amazingness with signatures.  The fact life is still so frustrating shows autocracy doesn’t go far enough.  Call it the stimulus effect.

As a result of Packers dreams and Jaguars performances, progressives are in even more foul moods than usual.  It’s important to emphasize how those of us coping with their results feel exponentially worse, as these type of politicians are even more self-absorbed than usual. The self-esteem brigade’s insularity is why they can’t deal with the slightest bit of criticism. Little bitches govern like big failures.  They act like the lame portrayal of bigwigs they constantly sell.  Looking inward would help no matter how ugly the present view.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

The Second Side

Everything’s always been lousy, but take comfort in knowing there’s no other option.  We have to feel despondent about being harassed into poverty as the Legion of Doom blows up our few remaining possessions if we want a proper government.  The notion of buying items independently while Washington concerns itself with spooking mullahs who aren’t keen on our continued existence seems unreal.  How would that even be practical?  Americans are much easier to bother than jerks in some different hemisphere.

The absence of an opposing case is true in practical terms.  Far too many haven’t heard the reasons to obey the Constitution.  That seems odd to we bores who talk about politics incessantly. But a very helpful media has ensured that it takes special effort to be exposed to ideas other than those of the incumbent president.  It shouldn’t be shocking to learn they exist, especially considering the present crummy schemes lead to decent folks getting punched instead of those out to kill us.

To be fair, we do hear both sides.  For example, media consumers presently encounter a healthy debate about whether Republicans who think the economy could improve enough that citizens could meet their own needs are evil or just stupid. Being left alone to figure out life is the only thing that’s ever worked in a country founded upon the principle.  But it’s uncomfortable to find work and then wake up every day, so it’s best to just wait for your check.  Who funds them?  Nobody knows, as magic will always remain mysterious.

Language is a weapon of those who possess nothing complex like skills.  Those who don’t consume political content on Twitter as a hobby and way of life are presently only exposed to twisted wording that’s wearing a trench coat. There’s an obscenity inside.  Most egregiously, far too many still haven’t heard about the unspeakable horrors labeled “women’s health,” a new standard for hideous euphemism. The fact Americans haven’t taken torches to the baby-slicing abattoirs shows how evil just needs the right public relations firm to flourish.  You’re not a sexist who wants ladies to be shoved from chemotherapy to the street, do you?

Next, you’ll tell me you hate gays because you don’t want to change marriage on their behalf.  The shallowest understanding of equality imaginable means whoever wants to pair off can call it a wedding.  We want it because they have it, probably states one of the amendments.  Explain that you can think it’s a special institution between complimentary genders without wanting to treat homosexuals as progressives in Iran do, and you can hopefully finish a sentence before the “bigot” brand gets fully heated.  Forget intriguing listeners by describing the special process that leads to children.

Next, amaze the uninitiated by noting charity isn’t the government’s job.  Those who smirk with their eyes closed when they explain how sticking food stamps on more citizens is the height of compassion may ask who else would help. Well, we would, unless people aren’t decent. Those who think the purpose of voting is to pick those responsible for dispensing the dole are repulsed by the thought that the Salvation Army is more helpful. The economy suffers by draining it, creating its own victims.  But it’s tough to be showy if people find they can earn their own salaries.

My plans are so good that people won’t volunteer to fund them.  The benefits are over their heads.  Some contrarians maintain every good idea should be able to naturally attract funding.  Noting the free market sifts through the mud to find gold is only mean to those who think sticking their mitts in your pockets is for your own good.

Promising concepts tend to attract investment to the dismay of bureaucratic twerps with rubber stamps who think they’re too good to engage in the same process. But remember that federal spending multiplies as long as we refuse to recognize the funds’ source or the laughable incompetence of the spenders. Plus, it actually gets divided, but who keeps track?

You can like something and not want others to cover its costs.  Feel free to act in defiance of the purportedly selfless.  It’s not anti-PBS to think the first letter should stand for “private.” Actually, I am anti-Ken Burns. But the questionable twinkletoes-type content they produce is secondary.  The point is for others to pay for what they’d like.  But using your own money seems expensive.

It’s presently a radical notion that the government shouldn’t be sponsoring content. Those with messages are horrified at the thoughts of finding subscribers or sponsors.  Solar companies powered by taxpayers feel the same way.  A disturbing number haven’t heard the case for voluntary interaction, which is one more thing for which to thank journalists.

Fittingly, we’ll have to make the case for good unsupervised times ourselves. Concerned citizens who think they’re capable of obtaining housing and other consumer goods can change the tone through sharing ideas ourselves instead of relying on antisocial media to get news.  The White House that’s trying to centralize everything doesn’t want you knowing there are opinions, plural. They just can’t handle competition.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Back Into the Swamp

We need to stop evolving before useful parts start falling off.  Any civilization that cares about future generations needs to knock off radiation exposure once natural rights have mutated into existence. Individual liberty is now portrayed as just a rest stop on the way to the final communal destination.  Sure, we’re headed downhill, but the important thing is we travel together.  No, you can’t get off.  The primitive Constitution doesn’t even force you to support worthless companies, and suckers shouldn’t have to cope with extra guilt.

The invented right to insurance is unhealthy even aside from the disintegrating guts.  Sure, everyone should feel safe here in the Lollipop Kingdom where you have the right to never have a sore tummy or skin your knee.  But we’re in trouble if pain exists.  Those who aren’t concerned with anything but the displayed percentage of forced enrollees are quite smug about getting coverage at the expense of nothing more than freedom, choice, decent prices, and good treatment. Other than that, this checkup turned out sweet.

We had to ruin the system so some could get subsidized regimens because that’s what caring means.  Thank taxpayers who presently go without coverage for contributing, although it’s not like they had a choice. The damage isn’t just theoretical to those who have lost plans they like.  Limbs may have to be removed for the organism’s benefit.  The torso will have to learn to fend for itself.

Similarly, marriage has to expand if we’re to remain inclusive to whatever’s trendy that day.  Rights are always too narrow, and must broaden lest we wish future people in the 2020s look back upon us as shameful bigots.  It never occurred to the big bang theorists why marriage was the way it was, as it’s easier to proclaim what love is, namely love. Tautologies shouldn’t be used to alter a custom that has served mankind since the start.  But nobody wants to be called a hater for noting anyone interested could pair off without Anthony Kennedy’s authorization.

An official stamp for every coupling is part of the perception that it’s moral and practical for the government to be in charge of our allowances.  That’s why we have one, right?  Archaic concepts like personal responsibility stand as obstacles to equal bliss. Centralizing options allows us to be bit players in a drama directed by someone else, which is a relief from the treacheries of responsibility.

Your foolish selfish desires will de discarded by the roadside as we move toward glorious dependence.  They’ll totally compost, so don’t worry about causing even more damage with your objectivist wishes.  Stop it right now with lusting to be rich enough to obtain insurance without an entitlement.  You may be dragged there, and the trail you leave in the mud points toward progress.

We get nowhere when we let others drive.  Presuming those heading the wrong way toward the onramp have memorized the map will surely get us to our destination soon.  For now, it’s portrayed as normal for college graduates to toil on burger assembly lines if they can get hired before their parents, who are learning that financial security is a concept as obsolete as promotions.  Accepting the inevitability of wasted skills is one way to cope with life’s frustrations.  Taxing the stuffing out of those the government hasn’t regulated into nothingness spreads an important lesson about how this universe is unfair.

The most cooperative villagers aspire to nothing more than turning patties 180 degrees, presuming such jobs aren’t rendered obsolete by incentivizing robots to being conquering humans through taking fry cook jobs. The unintended infiltration of our future cybernetic overlords is the price of cooperation.

Eating all that fast food that the First Lady loathes is the only way to halt a cruel society where ability and effort were the sole measures of how much one could earn.  Such narcissism is in clear defiance of the notion written with a murdered bird’s feather dipped in ink that all men are created to end up equal.  I may be paraphrasing, but I’m sure the gist is accurate.

Everything will get better if we trust those who’ve made everything worse since 2009.  This White House persists in thinking the world moves toward civilized peace despite everything that came first.  The problem is they think nothing came first. They keep claiming life was crummy before we moved toward pooling resources and giving our PINs to worldwide felons. At least circumstances are worlds better since we put diplomacy on the honor system while charging others to exercise purported rights.

We’re not quite sure who’s going to subsidize everyone else’s goals when advancement is discouraged through penalty. In the same way, we wonder who will reassemble Iran’s split atoms.  The worst thing about not knowing when to stop is how we can’t go back.  The one thing that will help us chose wisely at this critical point is more Jägermeister.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

No Better Over Time

Trying stupid things for more years isn’t going to improve results.  One more shot probably won’t help.  For evidence, remember every moment back to 2009.  Heed the inadvertent wisdom of grandmothers like Hillary Clinton who prove the value of learning by showing the horrors of reciting the same garbage for most of a century.  A sharper whippersnapper who is half the ‘90s relic’s age would be far preferable as president, even if only for remembering nuclear codes. She’d write them on a Post-it and stick it where Putin could see.

Ideas trump experience, as a bright trainee beats a veteran putz even if the former has to be taught where to put his dollar if he uses a K-cup.  Greenhorns capable of recognizing how things work have a greater skill than those who have tried repeatedly and failed.  The next president should be one who can think new things out instead of approaching the same problem the wrong way for the millionth time. Woody Allen says 80 percent of success is showing up, and we should know better than to take the advice of a geezer who makes unwatchable films for snots while living as a scumbag.

Good ideas can get anyone through bad times. By contrast, a few more trips around the Sun or to the Capitol don’t necessarily provoke wisdom.  Some of the dumbest people not only have failed to achieve sagacity through the years but have actually hunkered down in fortresses of ignorance.  Tell them that duct tape isn’t the best way to attach boards, but they’re convinced they know best.

Internships only help those who are willing to do more than photocopy. Barack Obama would’ve spent his work experience smoking on the loading dock while thinking of what title to bestow upon himself for his résumé. The trainee president’s failures are only in part due to his unimaginably cushy life and four measly Senate years split between grandstanding and campaigning.

Bad ideas persevere in those too stubborn to mellow out enough with age to humbly reassess ample shortcomings.  Wisdom would help Obama cope with situations he hasn’t yet faced. But he’s as youthful as he is foolish.  It’s a relief he doesn’t have an important job.

This guy wouldn’t be a better executive if he started in 2028.  A few extra Senate terms serving as a sanctimonious dingbat would’ve been too much for impatient voters, anyway, as we still mop up the aftermath of cultists who insisted we had to screw up the country right away.  It may not offer much comfort to now he would have pulverized the china just as thoroughly if he had been the future first black president.  The only advantage if Obama had magically been humble enough to forestall running would’ve been the chance to elect Thomas Sowell first.

The reluctance to support a senator for president may dissipate out of necessity, for which you can thank news channels fixated upon the buffoonish faux titan who proves he fights by moaning.  Whatever the sad reason, a couple governors who managed to be successful despite the president kicking their crotches have headed back to their respective state bunkers, so there aren’t many executive options left.  But we may not have to fear that the next president who shifts from the upper chamber will be as lousy as the present one.  He just has to make sure to not believe the same preposterous notions about the excessively careless caring for you and your money.

Of course, executive experience can be helpful, as bossing around others is an invaluable talent.  Some football coordinators can’t put it together when placed in charge of the entire operation.  But many do fine once promoted, as well.  Make sure to select candidates who aren’t trying to get away with holding and interference.  Some staffers have leadership potential even if they’ve applied it in a group setting.  In political terms, someone from a group of 100 still can run things.

By contrast, a woeful manager won’t suddenly display competence as CEO, which you can picture if you like horror by imagining Jerry Brown finally getting to take his version of California national. A decent philosophy can overcome not having previously encountered similar situations. Conversely, the fading Moonbeam shows that nonsense remains the same no matter the decade.  A rotten approach doesn’t improve with age, as those waiting for a good Big Bang Theory season know.

Time served is only beneficial if it’s spent pimping decent concepts. Harry Reid is retiring while still having done nothing more than prove the elusiveness of redemption for the limply wicked. Another couple shady elections wouldn’t make him brighter.  He instead will blessedly take his misery to the private sector.  In fact, elected Democrats get dimmer once they realize they can exploit a certain electorate into semi-employment.  They would’ve been fired ages ago in any job where a sad majority of voters weren’t their bosses.

As for becoming less dumb, it’s possible but extremely unlikely.  After all, Obama’s still getting fleeced by adversaries and mathematicswith almost seven years of practice.  Don’t bother telling him the same applies for his dreams of an NBA career.