We’ll Get It Done

Some ingenuous neighbors may trust essential services to people so useless that we put them in office so they’re not near tills and power tools.  But I’ll cynically decline.  The importance of everyday transactions is precisely why the government shouldn’t oversee them.  Keep them busy with proper assignments like paving roads and dispatching bad guys, with the latter to be ground into the former.  It should be all about efficiency.  Society will benefit if you cover my costs, say those who figure they’re owned a round.  They’re doing the bar a favor by coming in.

Maybe those who have led the charge into the ground turn competent when it comes to babysitting, which is why otherwise sensible parents let the academic equivalent of Obamacare control their kids for 30 hours per week.  Government is as good at education as it is anything else.  Those who graduated from public schools may think that’s a compliment, which is yet another reason that even nuns are preferable to public school pros.  When a ruler-armed lady who’s sworn off men is a viable alternative to a purportedly free education, you know unions are doing their jobs.

The solution of a bill for the school services your brats use has somehow become as toxic as letting seniors plan their own retirements.  Dare to suggest tuition to parents if you’d like a shrieking freakout.  Similarly, the notion of newly-legal adults getting charged to train themselves in college will inspire tantrums that would mortify kindergarteners.  The important lesson involves making others pay for your things.  As a bonus, charging others really keeps down costs.  That’s why a semester of tuition is only about as much as a dinner at Red Lobster, at least if you order dessert.

The main thing leaders can do to help is find themselves a distraction. They certainly won’t actively assist.  Give politicians a stack of magazines to sort so we can get down to managing the economy without even trying.  Tell them they can make collages from Highlights Magazine if they promise to be careful with the safety scissors.  Those in the public sector should only offer good wishes, particularly considering the quality of individual we typically send there.

People helping themselves could help others, but only if they’re selfish enough to commit.  A new store making a plaza less vacant may draw other businesses while creating jobs in a way self-appointed societal planners can’t. To be fair, politicians who aren’t in the private sector for good reason are skilled at misplacing our currency.  The usefulness of initiative doesn’t mean the government should fund it; in fact, the genuine idiots ostensibly in charge will only screw up the dispersal process after their skim.

Worry about what isn’t there.  See what businesses didn’t get built because the billionaire extorted a new container for his team by threatening to move his athletic side to Topeka. The home municipality may lose enterprise to higher taxes, but at least residents can watch football if they can afford tickets. Instead, strive for a world where GE has to sell lemonade to stay in business because taxpayers get to invest what they made. Billionaire conglomerates should feel shame about taking welfare.

Take one look at me and feel lucky that “public health” is a contradiction. My massive liver and more massive mass are my problems. Individuals are either in okay shape or could lose a percentage of their personal weight.  But present approaches make us care for others by force in that famous progressive sense of compassion.  We didn’t get a say in the decision that expenses are communal, which I guess makes sense in its own atrocious way.

Who else would help if not us?  Them, I guess.  The worst part is how assistance is always available. That’s at least true until the notion of charity is buried alongside initiative and liberty. Kind humans are more than willing to help, but you have to ask nicely.  That request is apparently humiliating to liberals who are only comfortable when the state is barking orders.  Otherwise, it’s only one’s conscience expressing a desire to help, and that gets drowned out by Elizabeth Warren YouTube clips.

We must decide that we’re capable of decisions.  Humans can care for ourselves through the process of controlling limbs and grasping items with the odd non-finger on the inside ends. Trading for what we need sounds like a possibility if we’re permitted to create ourselves.  Call it the “free market” if nobody’s thought of that name yet.  It’s not a zero-government goal but statistically close to it.  A little help enforcing contracts would be of great assistance.  But we’re the ones who decide what we do and don’t sign.  Our ink is our choice.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

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