It’s fine for those new to Earth to get suckered by promises. But anyone who’s been here two days or longer shouldn’t be buying extended warranties. The folly of trusting anyone is particularly shameful in an industry where poor customer service is usually rewarded, namely politics. It should be worlds easier to fire politicians. Maybe Democrats keeping their posts indefinitely despite their performance reviews proves them right about why we should fear the free market.
The last thing that should need to be said is that the last person to trust is a politician. But it apparently remains a point of emphasis after trying governments over thousands of years. Humans are particularly good at never recalling what doomed anyone earlier than 10 tweets ago. It may be time to stop treating those filling elected slots like they’re reciting words from God’s mouth. In Barack Obama’s case, they think it’s biblically true. To be fair, the president is not Satan no matter how much work he does for him.
The phenomenon of lying should be familiar to those who worship politicians. But their bizarre fetish warps their view so the fibs they encounter regularly seem like truth. That’s why these sick freaks have such trouble grasping that we might not have peace for our time by promising we’ll only inspect the atomic armory of the genocidal Islamists out to turn decency into glass after we put potato sacks over our heads. Iran might not be truthful about the stillness of their centrifuges, which is a crushing disappointment to those who are sweet and stupid enough to presume everyone should get the benefit of the doubt.
Anyone who falls for every promise Obama makes is just following his example. A president who treats our biggest enemy as honest has to lie about the deal he made with them. Otherwise, we might not think it’s swell, so it’s really our fault. Many of those who are not insightful enough to realize he’s a fine example of why not to trust anyone are legally permitted to vote, so make sure to round up your skeptical friends and take a bus to the polling place in order to elect someone good at raising an eyebrow.
Please remember they’re full of it even when their boasts are merely delusional and not outright mendacity. Whether the brick was dropped or thrown, it’s still going to dent a skull. Feel a little pity for those who suffered enough head trauma to think government could lower health costs. Yes, that government. Sure, costs have skyrocketed if you can even find a plan to rip you off. But Obama promised the price would change by thousands of dollars, so who cares if he specifically mentioned a decrease or increase? People with no accountability or fear that you can turn elsewhere should remain in charge of your body working. Remember there’s no other option.
Bernie Sanders is a prophet who hates profit. The gospel of anti-prosperity doesn’t promise you good things for believing, but it is certain to inflict bad things on those resented for success. The people for whom you voted are going to create jobs as a thank-you for really understanding the world. Aside from being a sweet enough dupe to think a politician is the one who brings work, the constant present real-world examples should’ve made an impression by now. Aren’t people watching the news while they’re out of work? MSNBC doesn’t count.
Let’s not believe in a mystical sky god who dispenses employment while hovering above the capital. Dolts in semi-charge should get out of the way to let others be useful. The best politicians realize they only create burdens, so forget it with this White House. These game-changers promised sweet times, which means they’re here. You know how uncomfortable they’d feel if their grandiose vision crumbled like the housing market, so don’t doubt them, heathen. Picture Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin without the endearing innocence if you’d like to make contemporary America seem extra melancholy.
The only way those who treat every encounter with a political promise could be worse is how little they think of those who don’t fall for the same junk. Zealously unpleasant types who hope Elizabeth Warren runs because Hillary doesn’t seem charismatic enough to lead a zombie army of Organizing for Action volunteers are the same types who mock the religious. They worship this president as if he makes Jesus look like Aquaman.
Their religion is government. It’s easy to flaunt the importance of separating church and state when state is your church. Liberals picked the worst monolith possible in which to invest blind faith. Miracles may come true, but that doesn’t include the administration that traded trillions for nothing cutting insurance costs by promising more stuff. An administration that can’t build a website will make all your dreams come true.
Riches arrive tomorrow. It’s bound to happen, as life constantly changes, right? Our leaders don’t understand why doing the same thing doesn’t work. Next time will be better as long as we keep taking your money. It’s too late to learn about why repetition may not pay off, so we may as well just pray. Which direction is Washington?
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.