A Literal Mess

Isn’t it nice to be wealthy and at peace?  Just because it’s technically failed to happen is no reason to be negative.  Life is joyous if you don’t need actual things going well.  Everything’s figurative in these modern times, as tangible results are as obsolete as typewriters.  It’s befitting of this cyber-world.  The left’s successes are imaginary while the failures of which they warn are childish nightmares.  The Boogeyman is not going to get them, but increasing premiums might.

The plan to keep people safe through rules that ensure only those who ignore gun control pack heat has no flaws I can spot.  America should be like the Wild West under present lax heat-packing rules, or at least the movie version liberals loathe.  It’s telling they are appalled by men taking care of themselves and pursuing justice. Regardless, we’re tired of these sore trigger fingers.  It’s hard to function while dodging all these bullets, although the training has created a class of superhuman Americans who don’t need to fear increased terror threats on account of being accustomed to dodging threatening gunmen on every corner without sweating.

Life in the concealed carry era somehow hasn’t turned into a John Woo movie, and not just because real criminals have to reload.  As with their money, people make choices to ensure their safety that improve the situation for all.  A free market of firearms doesn’t mean constant road rage murders and accidentally shooting firemen but rather the knowledge that the law-abiding can shoot back if necessary.  The same confused souls who think plastic automatic guns with 70-round clips of bullets are being used to murder toddlers disregard how mass shootings are news because they’re the exception.  Conversely, it’s also partly why those in Chicago don’t make headlines.

The media also doesn’t like to report that criminals are empowered by virtue of their willingness to pursue weapons they use to ply their trade despite the fear of arrest.  All the gun violence in places with heavy restrictions is the fault of jerk localities with lax rules.  Those places aren’t themselves felony-heavy because they are haters who only exist to embarrass those out for sensible gun safety. It is they and not those whose gun-free zones ensure good guys are defenseless put kids in danger.

The nice folks from the agency are going to provide insurance for all, so why do you hate that?  Of course, there’s the not-quite-there reality of mandatory happy care, which is always that tricky part.  Wanting something to happen versus what actually occurs keeps liberalism from being awesome.  That just means it’s time to change the world.  They try to pretend it’s a positive goal.

But cloaked in the sweet talk of a happy world is the necessity of pulverizing the very nature of existence.  On top whether it’s wise to remold everything, there’s the slight matter of whether forcing everyone to comply with crackpot schemes funded by some ever works at all in any sense.  The next try will be different.

Scrapping this whole liberty jazz is acceptable if it means inflated prices in exchange for reduced coverage, which is something only liberals could think is a good deal.  Eh, the mandate will take care of whiners, who will be assuaged by awesome subsidies.  How else could you reduce costs: let businesses dance for your nickels?  Grand schemers remain amazed that citizens refuse to participate in something that’s required, showing they get economics as much as they do Americans.

Similarly, minimum wage helps the poor by teaching them there will never be anything better than a first job.  Find happiness through lower expectations.  Also, there’s that whole matter of how a high low salary keeps those competing for it from being hired in the first place.  That’s why we must teach applicants they should strive for nothing more than life as a resister jockey.  Thanks to permanent stagnation, that apex has become a fact.

It’s your hate dragging us down.  Only positivity will keep Iran from getting nukes.  By contrast, letting workers fund their own retirements will lead to the elderly starving in their Craftmatic beds.  Thank those who think the key to prosperity is for Congress to quit their partisan bickering and come together to pass job bills. Why do they love proud arguing more than America?  Life should be as simple as Ellen portrays it on her show.

Deep into this country’s third century, some of its citizens still insist on never learning that the only jobs legislators care about are their own.  At least half the parties think a law can bring joy through abundance, while the other half either tacitly agrees or is too craven to take anything outrageous like a stand.  It takes knowing nothing to think representatives can fix everything.  The notion that a cure can be imposed is precisely why victories over disease are theoretical.  That sick feeling is normal.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.


Shock As Hammer to Head Causes Pain

Mock the guy bracing his head against the seat back he’s facing if you wish.  But it’s probably wiser to copy his example, especially if the craft is rattling.  Those shaking their heads at attempts to recreate the global harmony and prosperity found between the last two world wars await failure not with glee but because we sadly know what’s coming.

The simple act of noticing patterns is blasted as negativity by people living for the moment because they forgot what happened yesterday. We can only hope they retain the memory of why the glass isn’t chewy like ice.  Enter your passcode now with the expectation of having to call paramedics.

Voting counts as a job, or at least it should to shut up those conservative whiners who dare notice millions of despondent Americans are out of work.  It pays well per hour.  A few political observers somehow remain shocked that those assured life is a game rigged against them will keep voting themselves pittances.  But many presented with the option are fine with just barely getting by if it means not working. The option proves consumers pay attention to costs and benefits.  There are healthier ways of confirming markets work, usually involving a chance to earn.  Ugh, jobs suck.  Still, they beat croaking on Medicaid.

Presenting the option to bathe in resentment creates the poverty from which poor souls can allegedly never emerge.  Why do you think the left is so nasty to Ben Carson?  They don’t want anyone having crazy ideas about learning to save lives while rising out of poverty.  The excessively stable are more frightened by what happens when those coerced into funding realize they’re not tied to an area code. The successful people they despise better not stop producing, as that’d mean no funding for the ditch-digging and re-filling that will create wealth.  Those paying for all this nothing wouldn’t be that vindictive, right?

For putting people over profits, the new health plan is sure hurting both.  Obamacare is only going to get worse because some humans pay attention to what already happened, namely the nasty things that follow being forced to participate.  We brace for devastation not because it harms Obama but because Obama caused harm.  None of that matters to people getting rich complaining about getting rich.  Compassion junkies find nothing more diabolical than exploiters who outrageously demand to be compensated for service, especially when those people endure years of training so they may save your life.  Very smart economists have removed the profit motive, which has been again shown to be the one thing that drives up prices.

Don’t be shocked by the security failures that follow if Satan grants a favor and permits the election to fall to someone who’s at best a putz at it.  Lying about disregarding someone who asked for help is now portrayed as presidential by people who still cringe about Nixon. Those dismissing what Hillary Clinton did and didn’t do regarding Benghazi seem awfully uncurious about the result of leaving four men to defend what’s left of a place some random folks toppled.  We really should find the culprits, as I suspect the mysterious hoodlums are the same ones who keep kicking in our economy.

I only speak for myself, but I’d prefer a president who gives a rat’s ass about not leaving diplomats dangling after destabilizing a country.  Defeating a calculating woman who left an ambassador to face terroristsis the hopeful result, not the initial goal. Ensuring such a horrid excuse for a leader is never near power again isn’t personal no matter how much we dislike this particular nasty human: we’ve just seen what she does and doesn’t do when granted unearned power.  Elect a Republican in her place not for the sake of partisan gloating but so we don’t get an executive who yawned through a September 11 terror attack.  Now, listen to more about how government is here to help.

It’s not pessimistic to notice everything blows and is about to suck worse. Foes presently strangling the economy for its benefit think moaning is out of electoral estimation because they presume everyone thinks like they do. Not all people are out to retain political power at all costs, which is a revelation to the party that thinks political power fixes everything. That’s why they headed straight to compete for public office instead of doing anything useful.

Those tired of predictable failures just want to elect someone to reverse the rot. Some even note it’s possible to have complimentary goals, like how a person can get rich while helping others. Um, that’s what hiring someone is. Of course, those shocked that businessmen allowed to fatten their wallets may open them aren’t free market fans, either. If things aren’t going well, at least we have a plan to fix them.  Simply avoid repeating whatever’s being done now in this repetitively calamitous era. Life doesn’t always have to be this tricky.

New Plan to Reverse the Old Plan

Yanking copper wire out of America’s abandoned walls is your fault for putting drywall between treasure seekers and their booty.  The paint chip connoisseurs running the show will be displeased when we get the chance to patch up their improvements.  Such levelheaded philosophers are going to freak out no matter what, so we may as well give them a good reason.  Take apart the Ikea furniture they assembled while tweaking, which shouldn’t require more than a stiff nudge.  It’s little wonder their fascinating ideas about spreading what’s not theirs and infringing on what’s yours have caught on like they have.

The little bitches will just have to cope with fighting back against the poverty they’ve imposed and chaos they’ve created.  They did as they wished, and look where it got us. Living under this offramp isn’t as comfortable as advertised, especially considering the highwaymen who demand at the rapier’s point we relinquish the few goods we still possess. Let’s rebuild civilization soon.

Voters may finally be in the mood to enact worthwhile achievements after successfully demotivating Americans and failing to do the same with terror tyrants.  The arrogant dopey failures in power will have to cope with us enacting an agenda, with the difference being ours has good and legal ideas that won’t bother everyone except the depraved.

The morbid try to pinpoint the moment where it became scandalous to have to pay for your own baby killing. It’s not enough to permit the abhorrent convenience to continue: everyone who earns must contribute.  Forcing others to fund barbarism is one way to assuage a conscience.  The new breed of grownups throws impossible fits at the suggestion, as they are as mature as they are sagacious as they are decent.

The defenders of the infant disassembly line are similarly honest: they’re either the biggest liars for thinking Planned Parenthood is the only place for women to be cured or the most delusional beings in our dimension. Could they find treatment at venues that don’t tear about the unborn for a few bucks?  Maybe they could even buy what they use. I happen to feel that ladies can pay their own health bills unlike these misogynistic sexists who demand financial support for the fairer gender.  Those who favor equality should ignore the cacophonous protests and instead believe in women for a change.

Envious jerks do what they can to stop differently-gendered humans who just want to get ahead.  Typical phallocentric pigs want the imaginary gender wage gap narrowed only so they can destroy chicks in executive jobs. Regressive progressives will be even more apoplectic when people aren’t punished for raises, and ignoring them will make freedom even more fun.  Debt clock-flippers suddenly worried about debt, which is adorable. Maybe they could stop spending their allowances on Pixy Stix, especially considering they never did their chores.

They’re complaining as they’re wasting.  Our financial guardians never think the government’s habit of using bills as napkins may be the sign of a spending problem and not a revenue one.  There are many good things they buy for us with our credit card, as long as excuses count.  Those with mortgages should be building sunrooms when they can’t make payments, as that’ll make the house more valuable when it’s repossessed.

Pulling out of the nosedive offends those who swear the crash will leave us in better shape.  The present executive party is certainly going to freak out as we de-communalize society, as that’s their only skill. Self-righteousness paired with wholesale ignorance leads to thinking it’s a moral failure for better workers to get fatter compensation.

Republicans obviously just want wretches to starve without emergency room visits.  There’s a way to profit off suffering, although we haven’t figured out how yet.  At present, the bill goes to taxpayers, which really keeps down costs. Nothing helps drunks sober up like free booze.

Stop indulging those who think taking money from the economy helps those who somehow can’t find jobs in same economy.  Their refusal to accept that causes have effects is thorough.  We just wish to return this country to its status as the one where people meet each other’s needs.  I thought that’s what liberals like. But it turns out they’re really about orders.

People don’t need to be coerced to either engage in beneficial transactions or assist those who struggle to make them.  Prosperity gained by rejecting present unwise conventional wisdom won’t stop its adherents from acting as if the world will stop spinning.  They only have politics, and they’re in trouble once voters realize they can’t even do that right.

The very burden placed by government makes escaping from its grasp difficult. Remove handcuffs, and you’ll get used to the freedom to move arms independently soon enough.  Let the restrainers throw tantrums about vile Weekly Standard readers wanting poor victims to be billed for what they use.

Handouts that reward poverty are the only things keeping liberals in their twisted business. Charity would apparently bankrupt them.  Note they’re unwittingly admitting they’re not going to offer help, as that’d be so expensive. Their pouting is the only way to make reversing their devastation more pleasurable.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns athttps://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Losing the Will to Win

Anyone upset by the John Wayne-using-a-communist’s-skull-as-an-ashtray depiction of America is in luck.  Nothing offends Democratic voters more than us racist robber barons jingoistically being both powerful and decent.  Don’t worry, as we’re presently neither.  The ghouls who wish to feast on our bones are supposed to be impressed by us reducing ourselves.  But self-castration has somehow not prompted villains to follow suit, which is odd considering that this White House promised we live in a world of example.  Instead, Lex Luthor waits for Superman to take a nap before aiming his Death Ray.

People are scary, so just avoid them.  Hang out in the cafeteria kitchen to dodge bullies, as the lunch lady will understand your struggles. Maybe you’ll even get a comforting tuna boat out of it. The same dopes who think disarmament prompts peace among neighbors prompted into shame don’t realize negotiating is what lowers costs.  Removing it leads to your crummy Obamacare plan disappearing, which is actually sort of a benefit in its way. The only hope now is to play dead and hope neither our enemies nor creditors notice us.  There may be a better way to achieve happiness, but it’s hard to spot while facing mud.

While our enemies hate this country, the White House party only loathes the American things.  Social justice pros don’t care about commitment to natural rights, uninhibited chance to thrive, or other inherent awesomeness like drive-thru liquor stores and blowing up junk to celebrate the nation’s birthday.  Granted, is it tough when you’re responsible for what happens to you, especially if your only skill is resentment.  That is the one thing at which they excel.

Prosperity was a natural byproduct of not being bothered.  Allowing citizens to thrive meant we had plenty left over to buy guns to aim at the jealous or villainous. But the right to make your own investments means permitting unsavory businessmen to profit by offering others things they’d like, all to buy tanks that encourage militarism while increasing our carbon footprint. What if we dummies chose to purchase juice from power plants that work?

We’re in trouble unless Barack Obama is letting all the evildoers congregate so he can wipe them out with one stealth bomber.  Even by his usual hypocritical standards of warmongering, that sounds like something that wouldn’t interest him.  Absent letting bombs and gravity do their work, Evil Voltrons are forming everywhere.  Take countries aligning with the daft goons in Russia either out of a similar commitment to being jerks or simply because they need protection.  Kneeling before Vladimir is preferable when the alternative is a limp erstwhile superpower.  Nobody will align with a country whose leaders strive to disarm their own citizens, as what will they do to inhibit casual friends?

Our ex-chums regret getting involved with us.  Obama’s been mean to Britain, Israel, Australia, and just about everyone in Eastern Europe, among other decent spots who are questioning why they deserve such friendship. Meanwhile, our still-persistent enemies don’t seem too impressed by the Supreme Court deciding that there was no love before men were permitted to marry each other. Progressive policies don’t make America miserable enough to ignore.

Even the acquaintances we hate aren’t going to be on our semi-side anymore.  Take how Saudis will look for assistance in killing whoever wants to kill them first. The Iran deal’s a success if it meant ensuring everyone would pursue atomic egalitarianism.  Yes, that most Arabian nation is full of rotten scumbags who treat most humans like germs, especially women humans.  But they’re occasionally helpful scumbags to us for their willingness to attach jumper cables to even worse jerks.  Now, they will build slightly fewer impossibly tacky malls so they can afford nukes to point back at Iran, which is on the verge of taping atomic goo to their weapons for unknown reasons. Fewer Forever 21 stores is worth it since America is acting so immaturely.

The end of onerous individual rights was supposed to help sell us to the world.  But nobody’s buying that we’re stronger by copying all the lousy countries.  Unity has its limits.  We can’t even keep our worthless junk safe.  America is in trouble even in an amoral vacuum. Ideals are secondary to survival in a brutish world.

Those uncomfortable with power as a calculation should feel relieved that our ideals aren’t being preserved. Phew!  Instead, condemn anyone who’s able to muster might, especially those who use it nicely. Threatening to obliterate others is problematic, even if they went first.  As a result of condemning good guys with arms, bad guys with arms kick out out legs. You were supposed to be cool, dudes.

The idea of this country as a place whose value lies in buying each other things is, kindly, a screwed-up distortion.  Don’t ask communal devotees to cite a precedent of either legal justification or success.  Best wishes to anyone trying to explain constitutional restrictions to loudmouths claiming those who spend what they’ve earned selfish.  You just don’t care for others, claim those who want others to care for them.

Expecting government to care for needs creates weak babies who don’t even employ the virtue of being adorable.  Those who don’t like what America is have managed to do something about it.  And you said they couldn’t get anything done.  People used to excel precisely because government didn’t bother us.  So, they use government to bother us so we can’t excel.  Reluctance to defend what’s left completes the process.  The world becomes even more chaotic.  Betting it won’t affect us is as shrewd as hoping the eighth recovery summer will be the one that shines.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Obey or Be Taunted

Why let gravity boss you around?  Sign an executive order against the dumb force to live your dream of flying.  Jump from the roof to prove you love science.  Ignoring the results of countless experiments works similarly well for finances and global interactions.  Rules fix everything as long as people like being told how to act and nature listens to commands.  That does sound like this galaxy.

A diktat will bend events to your will if you believe hard enough.  You must be calculating and hopeful, which is quite a tough combo. Challenges in achieving the proper balance explains why trying to redesign reality never happens.  Maybe it just takes being pompous enough to think the universe obeys wishes to actually bend the continuum.  A strong will could be the one thing that changes everything.  If not, we’re being driven into a poorhouse targeted by suicide bombers by the most arrogant bastards possible.  Someone check the news.

Free elections prove you get what you pay for.  Those who lust to take money out of life feel the same way about politics.  Of course, they don’t see a difference.  Getting to say you don’t like a potential leader will be totally banned if President Hillary gets her way and takes out Citizens United in the same bombing run as the one targeting NRA headquarters. Ever-ethical candidates will never find ways around financial limits, especially once they have favors to sell.  That’s why they seek power: to help people.

Politicians learn how to be scumbags to compensate for not having useful skills. The sleaziest among us know more than anyone that campaign cash limits would drive money under tables.  That must be why so many of the dastard bastards support it.  Resentment at the ability to please others enough to get them to pay is explains their hostility to those who actually earn money.  The same head-shaking souls who think politicians can lower costs by removing incentives to compete think the problem with politics is that candidates can pay to yap. Democrats can just go on CNN for free.

Until we are blessed with a visionary who keeps us safe from muggers and purse-snatchers by banning violence, melting firearms will have to suffice.  The best thing about totally practical plans to confiscate guns is how nobody will make new ones after we’ve turned dismantled handguns into playground equipment for poor children.  Humans change when they have fewer things, or at least we’d better hope.

Just like how the rich will surely keep earning as taxes increase, conditions are to be preserved permanently after Glocks are made molten.  Crime will stop if guns aren’t allowed because the nefarious will only have useless fists.  They couldn’t unclench to operate machinery making more weapons, either, on account of the illegality. Fear-mongers who claim gun bans enable those with rusty butter knives to dominate are merely trying to cloak their own bullet-focused naughtiness, so bust into their homes and confiscate there first.

Has anyone thought of taxing the rich?  I’m unsure whether it’s better to not know how offensively high the top rate is or be aware of it and think success isn’t gouged enough.  Either way, it’s well past time to tell the permanently jealous to sod off and begin savings accounts. Outrageously demand they use their own funds. There will be no universal prosperity as long as those who get ahead become unmotivated when more is taken.  Our do-nothing Congress won’t even consider a bill to mandate rich people consume enough iron to bleed.

If you want more, take more.  Gold arrives in the mailbox by rule.  The cash hoarders possess an unlimited pile according to present understanding of economics, and magic spells learned at Bilderberg camp allow the pecuniary thieves to keep adding to it.  Redistribution just restores karmic balance.  It’s not like contemporary sorcerers earned their fortune.  Guilt will drive them to keep adding to the kitty, which means surpluses soon. We’re going to have so much infrastructure that we won’t have a place to put it.  That’s why we have eminent domain.

Preeners who claim they respect the Earth shouldn’t disregard how it functions. The mortifying notion that they can order about human nature reveals a different part of it, namely that hubris is limitless.  Take how they literally think they tell nature how to act.  Environmental warriors think waves obey their orders, which is a sign of saneness.  Humans haven’t ruined the Earth: just their self-perception.

The architects of this mud pile worry about puritanical conservatives who don’t wish to change the nature of marriage as they tell everyone what to do.  Enjoy your wedding.  Now hand over your money and guns. Take crummy insurance as compensation.  You don’t have an option. Iran will stop firing missiles once they realize they’re breaking a rule. Existence will consent to being bossed around once it’s done giggling.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

The Slow Boil

Get used to your methadone dose, as it’s also your dinner.  Government offers all the fun of addiction without the high.  You’re supposed to accept not only your own helplessness but also that you can’t escape infancy.  And babies shouldn’t be allowed to have drugs.  But all kinds of appalling circumstances follow when the radical becomes normal.  You’ve always felt this awful. Can you remember not being exhausted?  If you’re too tired to think, take it as a sign to stop trying.

Our decisions are made for us by an entity that constantly goes with the most crotch-crushing choice. The era where the only serious offense is earning more than enough for rent will never going to feel right no matter how much Josh Earnest explains that we’re too dumb to be as happy as he clearly is.  Of course, he’s paid to lie about how pleasant our crummy time is, which is why he’s one of the few people doing nicely.  He doesn’t even thank you for the paycheck.

In an era of inventing gender, it’s no surprise that those darn pronouns trip up some.  We get blamed for so much that they do. Why would people who turned a country known for making the others jealous into a pale imitation of Euro-weenie cash confiscation want to collectivize guilt?  It’s a mystery. Consequences are unfair to those who can’t do things properly.

Noticing effects is causing trouble.  Why would everyone be so frowny for nearly seven years?  Massive contempt for the rest of humanity just happened to come into vogue under a president who demonizes opponents as Iran-loving destitute-kickers. Point out his policies aid the true Great Satan while making work as scarce as dignity, and you’ll be branded a Founding Father-fetishizing pervert. This was always a country of 50 welfare states, so strop trying to rewrite history.

Coincidences doom those whose ineptitude places them at their mercy.  The president’s going to do something about all these crabby citizens who are raging during his reign for no reason. It’s just like how he’s on the case of the missing jobs and respect for America. His schedule is quite full despite outward appearances.

Why would there happen to be so much tension during this presidency?  For mysterious reasons, we’ll  remember 2015 as the year with rallies calling for dead cops and an actual debate on which lives matter. That’s a novel approach to equality. Occupy’s heritage is as nihilistic as imagined.  They didn’t exactly generate original thoughts for all the time they spent loafing.

Unpleasant radicals have to caricature dissenters as being similarly extreme. It may be subconscious compensation or an outright fib for the sake of lamely trying to portray the other party as even more deranged. Either way, calling those who want to retain their earnings villainous can’t conceal their own screw-ups.  There’s nothing more reasonable than claiming foes are anti-road paving.

Kindhearted statists have decided out of convenience that everyone interested in retaining the right to make decisions is looking to remake Mad Max as a documentary, without that charming Tom Hardy.  Liberty means recognizing the government has a very finite quantity of tasks, not to mention we can still hate the mechanism as it semi-competently completes them.  A sneer will be secretly appreciated by any half-decent congressman.

If you can’t do good, pimp the idea that doing bad is the only option. That’s why the Democrats who want the power of the White House portray those who claim profit is possible as traitors.  Note who musters enmity toward those voting for less debt, not those who want to turn the nation into rubble. The real terrorists want a budget.  Forgive those who remove heads from necks, as they were probably driven to insanity by capitalistic jingoism.  Thus, while America is at war with Islamists, the incumbent president naturally condemns Christians. Explain to them that it’s possible gun control won’t stop crime if you’d like to be outcast like a criminal.

Radical change follows putting radicals in charge.  At least something they predicted came true.  The debate over whether they dragged us down purposefully out of resentment for Yankee cowboy Cloyd Rivers hold-my-beer-and-watch-this America arrogance or just because they’re lousy putzes will continue.  But there’s no need to argue about precisely how much they’ve mucked up things, as the unequivocal answer is a whole bunch.  I’m sure this lunatic party’s adherence to hideous ideas that’s been destroying lives for over a century isn’t a bad sign, aside from how aspiring followup acts are debating whether people being allowed to trade for goods and services is bad.

With the urge to rage and only themselves to blame, it’s no wonder those in semi-charge are self-loathing.  Treating everything as a problem is almost as depressing as proclaiming the government is the solution.  You don’t understand how Washington works, claim those who don’t understand how the world works.  Fleeing financial oppression offers evidence that poverty as policy still feels strange.  Or perhaps the next few muggings will convince you to carry more cash.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.