New Plan to Reverse the Old Plan

Yanking copper wire out of America’s abandoned walls is your fault for putting drywall between treasure seekers and their booty.  The paint chip connoisseurs running the show will be displeased when we get the chance to patch up their improvements.  Such levelheaded philosophers are going to freak out no matter what, so we may as well give them a good reason.  Take apart the Ikea furniture they assembled while tweaking, which shouldn’t require more than a stiff nudge.  It’s little wonder their fascinating ideas about spreading what’s not theirs and infringing on what’s yours have caught on like they have.

The little bitches will just have to cope with fighting back against the poverty they’ve imposed and chaos they’ve created.  They did as they wished, and look where it got us. Living under this offramp isn’t as comfortable as advertised, especially considering the highwaymen who demand at the rapier’s point we relinquish the few goods we still possess. Let’s rebuild civilization soon.

Voters may finally be in the mood to enact worthwhile achievements after successfully demotivating Americans and failing to do the same with terror tyrants.  The arrogant dopey failures in power will have to cope with us enacting an agenda, with the difference being ours has good and legal ideas that won’t bother everyone except the depraved.

The morbid try to pinpoint the moment where it became scandalous to have to pay for your own baby killing. It’s not enough to permit the abhorrent convenience to continue: everyone who earns must contribute.  Forcing others to fund barbarism is one way to assuage a conscience.  The new breed of grownups throws impossible fits at the suggestion, as they are as mature as they are sagacious as they are decent.

The defenders of the infant disassembly line are similarly honest: they’re either the biggest liars for thinking Planned Parenthood is the only place for women to be cured or the most delusional beings in our dimension. Could they find treatment at venues that don’t tear about the unborn for a few bucks?  Maybe they could even buy what they use. I happen to feel that ladies can pay their own health bills unlike these misogynistic sexists who demand financial support for the fairer gender.  Those who favor equality should ignore the cacophonous protests and instead believe in women for a change.

Envious jerks do what they can to stop differently-gendered humans who just want to get ahead.  Typical phallocentric pigs want the imaginary gender wage gap narrowed only so they can destroy chicks in executive jobs. Regressive progressives will be even more apoplectic when people aren’t punished for raises, and ignoring them will make freedom even more fun.  Debt clock-flippers suddenly worried about debt, which is adorable. Maybe they could stop spending their allowances on Pixy Stix, especially considering they never did their chores.

They’re complaining as they’re wasting.  Our financial guardians never think the government’s habit of using bills as napkins may be the sign of a spending problem and not a revenue one.  There are many good things they buy for us with our credit card, as long as excuses count.  Those with mortgages should be building sunrooms when they can’t make payments, as that’ll make the house more valuable when it’s repossessed.

Pulling out of the nosedive offends those who swear the crash will leave us in better shape.  The present executive party is certainly going to freak out as we de-communalize society, as that’s their only skill. Self-righteousness paired with wholesale ignorance leads to thinking it’s a moral failure for better workers to get fatter compensation.

Republicans obviously just want wretches to starve without emergency room visits.  There’s a way to profit off suffering, although we haven’t figured out how yet.  At present, the bill goes to taxpayers, which really keeps down costs. Nothing helps drunks sober up like free booze.

Stop indulging those who think taking money from the economy helps those who somehow can’t find jobs in same economy.  Their refusal to accept that causes have effects is thorough.  We just wish to return this country to its status as the one where people meet each other’s needs.  I thought that’s what liberals like. But it turns out they’re really about orders.

People don’t need to be coerced to either engage in beneficial transactions or assist those who struggle to make them.  Prosperity gained by rejecting present unwise conventional wisdom won’t stop its adherents from acting as if the world will stop spinning.  They only have politics, and they’re in trouble once voters realize they can’t even do that right.

The very burden placed by government makes escaping from its grasp difficult. Remove handcuffs, and you’ll get used to the freedom to move arms independently soon enough.  Let the restrainers throw tantrums about vile Weekly Standard readers wanting poor victims to be billed for what they use.

Handouts that reward poverty are the only things keeping liberals in their twisted business. Charity would apparently bankrupt them.  Note they’re unwittingly admitting they’re not going to offer help, as that’d be so expensive. Their pouting is the only way to make reversing their devastation more pleasurable.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s