A Literal Mess

Isn’t it nice to be wealthy and at peace?  Just because it’s technically failed to happen is no reason to be negative.  Life is joyous if you don’t need actual things going well.  Everything’s figurative in these modern times, as tangible results are as obsolete as typewriters.  It’s befitting of this cyber-world.  The left’s successes are imaginary while the failures of which they warn are childish nightmares.  The Boogeyman is not going to get them, but increasing premiums might.

The plan to keep people safe through rules that ensure only those who ignore gun control pack heat has no flaws I can spot.  America should be like the Wild West under present lax heat-packing rules, or at least the movie version liberals loathe.  It’s telling they are appalled by men taking care of themselves and pursuing justice. Regardless, we’re tired of these sore trigger fingers.  It’s hard to function while dodging all these bullets, although the training has created a class of superhuman Americans who don’t need to fear increased terror threats on account of being accustomed to dodging threatening gunmen on every corner without sweating.

Life in the concealed carry era somehow hasn’t turned into a John Woo movie, and not just because real criminals have to reload.  As with their money, people make choices to ensure their safety that improve the situation for all.  A free market of firearms doesn’t mean constant road rage murders and accidentally shooting firemen but rather the knowledge that the law-abiding can shoot back if necessary.  The same confused souls who think plastic automatic guns with 70-round clips of bullets are being used to murder toddlers disregard how mass shootings are news because they’re the exception.  Conversely, it’s also partly why those in Chicago don’t make headlines.

The media also doesn’t like to report that criminals are empowered by virtue of their willingness to pursue weapons they use to ply their trade despite the fear of arrest.  All the gun violence in places with heavy restrictions is the fault of jerk localities with lax rules.  Those places aren’t themselves felony-heavy because they are haters who only exist to embarrass those out for sensible gun safety. It is they and not those whose gun-free zones ensure good guys are defenseless put kids in danger.

The nice folks from the agency are going to provide insurance for all, so why do you hate that?  Of course, there’s the not-quite-there reality of mandatory happy care, which is always that tricky part.  Wanting something to happen versus what actually occurs keeps liberalism from being awesome.  That just means it’s time to change the world.  They try to pretend it’s a positive goal.

But cloaked in the sweet talk of a happy world is the necessity of pulverizing the very nature of existence.  On top whether it’s wise to remold everything, there’s the slight matter of whether forcing everyone to comply with crackpot schemes funded by some ever works at all in any sense.  The next try will be different.

Scrapping this whole liberty jazz is acceptable if it means inflated prices in exchange for reduced coverage, which is something only liberals could think is a good deal.  Eh, the mandate will take care of whiners, who will be assuaged by awesome subsidies.  How else could you reduce costs: let businesses dance for your nickels?  Grand schemers remain amazed that citizens refuse to participate in something that’s required, showing they get economics as much as they do Americans.

Similarly, minimum wage helps the poor by teaching them there will never be anything better than a first job.  Find happiness through lower expectations.  Also, there’s that whole matter of how a high low salary keeps those competing for it from being hired in the first place.  That’s why we must teach applicants they should strive for nothing more than life as a resister jockey.  Thanks to permanent stagnation, that apex has become a fact.

It’s your hate dragging us down.  Only positivity will keep Iran from getting nukes.  By contrast, letting workers fund their own retirements will lead to the elderly starving in their Craftmatic beds.  Thank those who think the key to prosperity is for Congress to quit their partisan bickering and come together to pass job bills. Why do they love proud arguing more than America?  Life should be as simple as Ellen portrays it on her show.

Deep into this country’s third century, some of its citizens still insist on never learning that the only jobs legislators care about are their own.  At least half the parties think a law can bring joy through abundance, while the other half either tacitly agrees or is too craven to take anything outrageous like a stand.  It takes knowing nothing to think representatives can fix everything.  The notion that a cure can be imposed is precisely why victories over disease are theoretical.  That sick feeling is normal.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

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