Religion of Peace*


It’s horrifying but unsurprising to wake up to another attack on a great Western city. I wish we could find a common thread. Paris is the latest city where lone wolves acted alike as always. This time, human animals who totally don’t represent everyone who worships like them committed twelve murders motivated by smart-assed views. The actual opinions of those innocent people we lost to terror are as irrelevant as platitudes about how most Muslims don’t butcher those who tease them.

We’re at war with well-armed cavemen who react to a drawing of a shooting with an actual shooting. Stop wondering if the work is blasphemous and start desecrating the thugs who think a publication’s staff is a legitimate target.

I’m not sure what connects this rampage with a thousand like it, other than how “Allahu Akbar” is commonly yelled during grace at Lutheran potluck dinners. For unknown reasons, there are still no attacks by people upset at The Book of Mormon. It’s as if condemning polite people is easy. Some of our moral betters seem more upset at those who insist upon “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy holidays” than at those who butcher over an illustration, perhaps because they know there’s no chance at getting assassinated.

It’s easy to be for free speech when the worst consequence is a dirty look. I don’t care what the deceased sketched. I care about enemies of life itself who use opinions they find disagreeable to justify bloodshed.

Let’s withhold judgment: a clear maneuver in the battle against society isn’t like misinterpreting a grand jury decision. The White House delayed as long as possible to see if the terror attack was perpetrated by the French Tea Party, or perhaps disgruntled employees upset by the K-cup selection in the break room. Their wait to see if this was mere workplace violence may have been why the president’s subcontracted Twitter account was supporting a failed insurance scheme instead of France while the corpses were still warm.

The man who can’t empty Gitmo fast enough maintains he’s horrified by Islamists acting in the atrocious manner they promise. He may simply be surprised by those who keep their word. “Our universal belief in freedom of expression is something that can’t be silenced,” said Barack Obama, who used the IRS to harass political foes and ensured The Innocence of Muslims guy got dragged away. The president is sort-of obligated to pretend he’s for free speech despite a costly record of not preserving it. When you think government can fix everything, it’s hard to not use it for curtailing ideas one dislikes.

Still, maybe this is another multiple killing that can be blamed on media that teases a particular faith. After all, cartoons are just like stills from animation, so Charlie Hebdo’s artwork could be the first part of an objectionable video. Obama hasn’t yet said “Let me state very clearly that the United States has absolutely nothing to do with these cartoons.” But this story is still developing.

The White House is not alone. Carnage apologists noting that, well, the cartoons might be considered distasteful are putting terrorists above the publisher on mastheads. Framing this unspeakable attack as revenge comes far too close to treating a duodecuple murder as a legitimate reaction to being pissed. Those who think condemning cops had nothing to do with the cold-blooded murder of two NYPD officers qualify their support for the late cartoonists by noting how mean it is to draw Muhammad. It’s too bad they’re not definitively more bothered by barbarians who would murder over a depiction than the depicters.

This is a glorious age for global brutes who want to veto content. The mass execution for a profane rag’s portraits comes after North Korea got a stupid movie semi-shelved. Anyone who cared about ensuring The Interview got seen regardless of its dubious quality should be aware that Islamists are trying to kill enough people to intimidate anyone from printing the drawings again. Free speech is useless if the murderous get to be editors. One thing more offensive than the cartoons is killing people for creating them.

These savages sure are thin-skinned. I live in New York City, where my day is spent coping with encountering things I find repulsive. But Islamists won’t even give it a try. The destroyers of civilization seem uninterested in befriending us no matter how cool we act.

Those citing the provocativeness of the doodles in question should be slightly more bothered by images of bodies in the streets. Any ersatz high-minded twerps qualifying condemnation by noting the cartoons were disliked by some members of a certain religion can go live under ISIS and see what they tolerate. Now is not the time to turn Vichy. After all, France sitting out the Iraq War didn’t placate Muslims.

The media should recognize that an attack on free speech might be bad for them. But that would mean acknowledging good and evil exist, which is as unpalatable to them as noting we’re the good guys. Anchors should be wearing t-shirts with the cartoons on them, while newspapers should use them as images for each story. Instead, those who think Larry Flynt is heroic won’t show the tangible examples of free speech for which a dozen humans gave their lives. They should take a lesson in bravery from French cartoonists, of all people. Fighting for free speech wasn’t an abstract concept to an office of wise guys now drenched in blood. They died for drawing.

Escape might have been possible if Charlie Hebdo’s workers hadn’t been weighed down by huge balls. The courage of those who knew they were risking their lives by teasing stands in diametric contrast to the unbelievable cowards who would attack an editorial meeting. The terrorist scum who reportedly surrendered went down like a bitch. He was so tough when he was shooting unarmed men. I guess he’s not a Clash fan.

The diabolical nature of the villains out to destroy us is only matched by their cravenness. Cartoonists, café patrons, war memorial guards, schoolchildren, office workers, mass transit users, marathon spectators: our oh so brave enemies choose to assault such ominous fortresses. Almost as heroic are those morally bankrupt Westerners In Name Only who will pretend that phantom Arab women afraid to ride the Paris Métro are the real victims. Such self-parodic casting of Muslims as victims after a Muslim attack has already arrived on automated schedule. Pay no mind to spineless lectures from WINOs.

It should be an easy decision to show the images now. And many news outlets still won’t do it. Our military members actively confront evil, while Parisian magazine workers had it barge through the door. The least the rest of us can do is show the pictures. Uniting to acknowledge we face peril is the only way to survive as the dastards bring war to our doorstep.

Spread the damn drawings. They would’ve been ignored without the attack; nobody said evil terrorists were smart. Use their ghastly miscalculation as a chance to share what they wanted to eliminate. Besides, we can help separate the terrorists from the religion they claim to represent: running the cartoons gives the rest of the Islamic world a chance to demonstrate tolerance by not ending lives upon seeing the portraits. You don’t think a high percentage of that religion’s members will turn violent upon seeing a likeness of their guy, do you? Durka durka, bitches.

Originally published January 8, 2015.

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