Fire the Bosses

America as been impossible to govern for about seven years.  I wish we had saved old calendars to see what happened in early 2009 to make our country so unwieldy.  All I recall is a vague sense that slightly over half the voters believed nirvana was a tax hike away.  The claim that our national contraption is not manageable is patronizing to the manager.  But this jerk boss has earned it.

Noting the job’s hard should be an unacceptable excuse for failing. A sad face and shrug is the natural response from those who assure us there’s no earthquake simply because the rubble is shaking.  The denier leader has shown us how to take charge at avoiding taking charge.  Barack Obama’s inability to thread his belt through all the loops stands in stark contrast to his pre-presidency assurances that he had it all under control. “All” is literal, as every last thing was claimed to be under his domain. This is one wholesale mess.  Ambition is a lot less fun when you have to do what you say you will.

The putzing throwback is less fun than lining up for Star Wars again. The despondent theme that the world is too complex to control ran through the Carter years, which made it the only thing that ran successfully. Our tricky cyber-world presumably has more permutations, which makes Jimmy look even weaker over time.  At least that ingenuous fool got Charlie Daniels to play at his inauguration.

The presidency is claimed to just be too big for one person. Well, it depends on who the person is. Those who uproariously maintain that life can be made nice though not-very-nice coercion certainly aren’t up to the task.  Let’s remember that before electing smug dummies who will end up shrugging after their philosophy leads to more flaming crashes.

Those who shoved us off the edge say we’ll just have to get used to the fall.  America can’t do anything but cope with decline, according to those who can’t find the wallet they said they’d watch for us.  Rumor holds they distributed its contents to those who dislike us, and buying friends is about to pay off.  For now, America is still loathed even as a bit player.  I blame how the world’s too tricky.  Maybe there’s no way for an executive to affect things.  It can’t be that circumstances get out of hand when the sort of dope who thinks heated buildings cause terrorism gets to be in charge.

A lousy attitude is the best way to ensure problems remain unsolved. If you think humans can’t create more wealth, the only task left is to distribute what’s left. We’re being lectured on fairness by people who think your life sucks if someone else has three TVs and you only have one.  It’ll probably get stolen, anyway, seeing as how our foreign policy presumes burglars just try harder to break in if the doors are locked.

Littler laboratories are exploding thanks to crackpots in lab coats who don’t deserve to be called scientists.  New York City is presently a spray paint-strewn time machine.  If you’re wondering what the ‘70s were like, visit right now.  Just don’t stand around too long unless you want a beggar demanding your change from as close as the screen upon which you’re reading this is to your face.  Panhandlers are in your face as workers are chased away. This stupid city is getting that chaotic feeling, as crises somehow spin out of control by chance when there’s a feckless bitch in Gracie Mansion.

Know-nothings think they know it all.  A frightening number of current leaders have no life experience, much less anything that would be usefully applicable.  Make a dollar selling something someone else wants before telling others how to please customers.  The purported pain reliever causes headaches.

After many years of painful tries, liberals could learn that letting government get too big is a concern.  But that would involve too much introspection. Ideologically, it’s easier to blame the system.  Individual responsibility doesn’t appeal to individuals responsible for screwing us all.  They’re the ones who need supervision.

Ruiners shouldn’t get to complain, but it’s part of their personality.  Take how retail-smashers announce federal power is too much to handle after expanding it too far.  Like claiming Obamacare is comatose because they didn’t socialize it enough, it’d be funny if millions weren’t getting hurt.  As a compromise, elect a competent human who will make the presidency seem less overwhelming by sticking to the job’s listed tasks.  This White House’s minions can then move on to more suitable tasks like not jabbing their eyes with crayons.  I know it’s the most intense way to experience the colors, but it’ll be the last thing they see.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at


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