Sharing contempt for a wannabe tyrannical prick offers a nice opportunity to bond. Sadly, many of those who agree with us are right only by chance. Liberals will still hate us post-Trump, so don’t be shocked when they aim viciousness back at you any more than that should have been caught off-guard by Obamacare going comatose. At least well get back to normal, even if that means anyone to the right of Sanders being viewed as a baby formula-stealing war fan.
Don’t forget who Donald’s liberal enemies are now. Reminding them how many positions they share with the pink marble aficionado is a good way to laugh while bracing. The only thing Democrats despise more than the 69-year-old infant is someone who has dared to have read the Constitution. I bet every dollar Trump claims he’s made that he never got past the first three words, which he’d tweet as “Whee the people.”
Who knew America had a document that restricted government from ruining everything? It’s like we don’t have to legally put up with all this. There’s so much in there to learn, chiefly that the government isn’t supposed to be buying you things. It’s not just a theory Ted Cruz argues: the practical application is why we excelled in the first place.
But don’t tell Trump or Obama fans that they’re after the same untenable goals, except to get them both mad. Those who curiously think that enabling people to earn their way is a way of pulverizing the poor are going to hate any Republican even if he agrees with Democrats. They still haven’t explained where the money comes from, as presuming it’s been reclaimed from wealthy plunderers is enough to satisfy most. Trump’s not one of barons regardless of what he claims, so that should take out some of the fun for them.
Sure, Hillary cheerleaders are right that one time about the crude phony. But liberals will still continue to damn those who want the government bothering terrorists instead of Americans opposed to lame insurance. Their hit list will also continue to include those who favor mean human goals like responsibility. And ISIS can’t destroy us, unlike those who think the fortunate might voluntarily help the destitute. Our our nation’s rulebook doesn’t include the notions they believe, and for good reasons. Self-righteousness is a poor justification for junking everything that’s worked. But it’s never stopped them.
The only thing more inconvenient than principles is what results from not having them. The other kind of Trump-haters can’t just disagree with those who think $19 trillion in debt is too much: government cutters are Earth’s greatest villains. And it’s horrid to hold that it might not be America that made, say, Cuba and Iran into cartoonish antagonists. Kissing dictator backsides is helping our knees feel less sore, not to mention how it improves our self-worth. Did you know we have a foreign policy of togetherness and not hate? That’s why you totally don’t cope with the uneasy feeling that someone’s tossing matches through the fireworks factory skylight.
This alliance is unreal. Properly-limited government endorsers aren’t in league with an eminent domain fan who thinks paying off politicians is how to succeed at business. Like other Democrats, Trump expects handouts. Don’t lump us in with the lunkhead who only builds destruction. In fact, don’t lump us in with anyone. The whole point of conservatism is that nobody speaks for us, especially the tangerine girl-hater.
Life has been made too collective. Watching people live with regrettable consequences of their decisions is funnier when it doesn’t affect others. We’re used to hunkering down, but it’d be nice to taste fresh air again soon. Don’t expect rationality even when it’s safe to leave the bomb shelter: brace for no-information voters conflating an inheritor of success buying favors with genuine entrepreneurs offering products at the best value possible.
Why wouldn’t all Republicans be lumped with Trump? Sure, he’s not a capitalist. And he got rich through payoffs. Also, he hasn’t created anything but fuller landfills thanks to empty Trump Ice bottles. Other than that, he totally embodies the free market, at least according to caricatures by its enemies. Deluded souls who think all corporate titans are as nasty and amoral as Trump are the same ones who convinced themselves that eras of prosperity were Dickensian nightmares. Meanwhile, they think this era of big schemes by small-minded politicians is swell even if they have to wait a few weeks to sell blood plasma again.
Hating success is nothing new. Those who think voluntary trade harms both parties continue to maintain the warped take that the 1980s were about making poor people suffer. In reality, the worst thing lower-rung citizens faced was Atari’s Pac-Man. By contrast, last decade’s agony which plagues us through tomorrow was caused by mysterious greedy bankers and not actual identifiable preposterous federal policies. They could at least hate conservatives for the right reasons, but I don’t expect rationality from them soon.
Those who hate real and fake right-wingers alike have unsurprisingly misplaced blame. Every post-Reagan Republican presidential nominee has been less than appealing to conservatives. Oh, and “Republican” is not a synonym for “conservative,” either. Backing a statist wannabe tyrant is an odd way of expressing disgust with a party for the crime of not stopping every dumb Barack Obama idea. If Trump has taught anything, it’s that an (R) next to one’s name doesn’t mean one wants government to shrivel. He still teaches nothing.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/604353.