Moderate This

Ticking off everyone brings us together.  Sure, we all hate each other, but at least we’re broke.  We’ll have to find common ground in a public space.  Republicans who are liberal enough to alienate both their own fellow partiers while still being despised by political enemies create bipartisanship.

Moderates never are.  Being sane half the time doesn’t equal semi-wisdom.  Half-mild and half-hot don’t combine to create medium.  You’ll be bored, then in agony.  Eat each wing on its own, you freaking savages.  Liberals think balance means agreeing with most of their dumb ideas, which itself isn’t too bright.

You can like both Lady Gaga and good singers, but it doesn’t make sense. Broad trends are common in specific humans.  A doctrine about authority’s relation to individuals should inform takes on particular issues, not the other way around.  It’s much easier to grow the trunk before the branches according to our modern understanding of horticulture.  Commitment to one philosophy isn’t a matter of narrow-mindedness but of seeing particular issues as part of a broader understanding of the universe’s functionality.  The bus hurts every time it hits you.

It’s not to corner someone into a capital punishment position after learning the person’s take on fracking.  But there tends to be a broad outlook that’s reflected in consistent policies.  Finding someone who thinks lower taxes and massive federal spending are both good ideas is a challenge for a reason, namely because it makes no sense.  Of course, many people don’t, either.  But consistency is worthwhile even if an unpredictable life seems fun. You’d quickly tire of wild card toppings at Pizza Hut after too many bouts with pineapple.

Sure, taxes will be higher, but at least the government will get all the money it needs to waste.  People who see both sides of everything don’t think out why one side is ludicrous.  Picking each issue without a framework is like presuming there may be a dartboard behind you.  Puncture such randomness by noting humans should know that beer is not a calorie-burner. Instead, the hopeful drunks fall for simple sales pitches.  Ooh, that stadium sounds like it’ll be fun, and it will help the economy.  Let’s not make the billionaire owner fund it.

True conservatives are reluctantly figuring out which candidate to despise the least.  It’s beyond frustrating to wonder if your dreamboat will betray you on two or three issues, especially since it’s likely a matter of “when.”  They’re all bastards, we maturely note. Universal contempt reminds us to never worship those who we decide are the least contemptuous candidates, as our hatred keeps them accountable.  By contrast, the Obama cult feels pain on the inside any time a bad thought crosses their mushy brains, and their unwillingness to challenge his delusions just made enduring them more painful.

Banishing others is easier than convincing them.  At least, that’s the conclusion from how humans have chosen to use social media.  Aliens monitoring our communications would ponder why it’s so important to moan about the establishment.  The same goes for electability while we’re at it.  It’s possible to oppose both Republican bores who acquiesce to every liberal dream and boors who get only a demented sliver of support.  The only thing worse than lousy principles is having none at all.  At least Bernie Sanders is committed to lunacy.

Establishment now means anyone who disagrees with me.  No, not you.  Well, I guess it depends on who’s speaking.  The validity depends on the terms. This is the era of pointless arguments about semantics.  Why try to figure out how to stop the government from bending us over the davenport when we could debate who’s insufficiently pure?

At the same time, we should find someone who knows we pay attention to elections.  Winners should reciprocate by not paying attention to us. It shouldn’t be that hard to pick a contender who read the Constitution, and not just so to figure how to get around it. Moderation should entail cutting taxes by one-third and not one-half. And that should still be unacceptable.  Liberty is the one thing about which to get severe.  And we’d just be restoring equilibrium compared to the foray into harassment presently being endured. There’s evenhandedness for you.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/604353.

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