Lawman Breaking It

Make it a goal to obey as many rules as your government does.  Actually, treat it more like a guideline.  The goon class is not big on adhering to legalities, so why should you be?  Do as they say and not as they do, demand hypocritical parents and also politicians out to take their place. Lawless politicians can’t stop creating more laws to make you kneel.  The sick fetish leads to perverse results. A million regulations mean there are zero.

Dodgeball is exhausting.  Statists want you to be so tired from their attacks that you just lay down and take your welts.  The goal must be to remove the silly interdictions in the name of ending Bizarro recess.  Sure, it’s possible to evade insane orders.  But attacking its critics is one of the few things government finishes.  Any random poor bastard might still get swept up, not to mention the principle of being led on a leash is abhorrent to people who don’t voluntarily pay for it.  Be a sicko on your own time.

It may seem impolite to say screw the mandate, but that’s the nicest way to phrase it.  The subversive rulers claim to respect the marginalized as they hassle people who miss buying plans of their choosing.  I’m still confused why there have been so many deadlines for buying.  That doesn’t seem very universal.  Doesn’t everyone have care now?  And will anyone notice that the only way the government lowers prices is by taking money from some to subsidize a product for the rest?  But they just have to bribe a sufficient percentage of voters to get in office again.  Drunks fight hangovers the same way, and they never face consequences.

There may be better signs of fairness than wondering if your tax return makes you a criminal.  Blame the game, not the involuntary players. Every levy carveout is a reward for someone.  Some dare refer to a system rigged for pet causes as capitalism.  In truth, the code’s authors like some people more than others.  Gathering revenue is a popularity contest just in case anyone’s unsure about who was causing the unfairness about which they incessantly bitch.

Thieves go soft on crime for personal reasons. There are countless ostensible lawbreakers in America who’ve done nothing wrong yet are punished for daring to contradict federal drones compensating for thick skulls with thicker rules.  Meanwhile, your moral superiors are emptying prisons both domestically and in Cuba because they’ve deemed that circumstances are mean to those who harm fellow people.  But at least this White House can put arrogant capitalists in their place.  What kind of country do these cowboys think this is?

The real criminals are those who want to exercise their purported constitutional and human right to be able to shoot back.  And of course there are those scoundrels who criticize the government for spending too much, not to mention the hardcore criminals who don’t want to buy shoddy insurance.  The Castros and mullahs are right to loathe us, so I hope our cash and apologies on our behalf is enough to convince them to not lash out at the king jerk country anymore.

Politicians should provoke imitation.  Hey, give me my wallet back.  Public service is about making humanity better.  Don’t let how they ruin everything act as a deterrent.  Use their terms to inspire you.  Sure, it won’t be in the way they thought.  But government is all about inadvertent results.  The brightest among us thought we’d be almost sick of peace and wealth by now. With the woeful aftermath of their gallant intentions in mind, federal bullying functions as the catalyst to live on your terms.  Irksome supervisors never expect that, as they’re never prepared for any damn thing despite their many charts.

Blessedly, those who warn you to obey their every order are notoriously atrocious at checking compliance.  Sure, they’ve been able to hunt down some inconvenient critics.  But those who think their job is to supervise your life are both wrong philosophically and inevitably bumbling.  These pompous nitwits can’t track everything.  Best of all, they think they can.  Inspector Clouseau thinks he’s in a Peter Sellers-quality film but is as limp as the Steve Martin take.

The only upside to leftists bossing around non-leftists is how the Fun Police are as inept as they are oppressive.  Use their standard and forget whatever’s inconvenient.  Just claim you were confused about which rules applied or that you’ve misplaced evidence against you.  It’s impossible to keep track of so many intricate diktats.  Self-appointed guardians appreciate your commitment to their precedents.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at

One comment

  1. mukul chand · March 7, 2016

    great post

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