While it hurts to be abandoned by people who promised to stand with us, we’ve been on our own before. Conservative media is disintegrating like the risible belief that Donald Trump is a self-made man. Selling that egregious fib about a miserable vulgarian out to seize power in the most classless way imaginable is at the core of why we must now balance the news on our own. The news improvement project is less convenient, but do-it-yourself projects create a sense of accomplishment. And you can trust the work you do, unlike having Greta pour your foundation.
Trump’s best deal was buying Fox News for nothing. Our former cable home has been around long enough to abandon its principles if you want to feel old. We once counted on billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch’s broadcasting wing to hold people accountable. Now, we have to reciprocate. At least the once-fair lineup taught us how to counter inane narratives before they decided that giving conservatives a voice wasn’t as profitable as promoting an unprofitable buffoon from the next block over.
If nothing else, the lesson from what Fox was remains to be skeptical. The channel which has made Trump a cohost for every show never expected we’d use their own weapons against them, which explains why their influence is as weak as Sean Hannity’s ability to turn down an hour in his dim pal’s pink marble fortress. We need a brokered convention on hosts. It’s easier to note which chair-fillers should stay than which should go. I’d rather watch Twitter for news no matter how nasty those social justice whiners are to people who want less debt. That’s at least the case until FNC heeds my anchor suggestions. Iowahawk would be as entertaining at 10 p.m. Eastern as Sean is mortifying.
The only way to get through today’s dumb and scary trends is to know we’ll soon all laugh at those who fell for a bitchy faux tyrant. It’s redundant to explain for the billionth time why there’s not a damn conservative thing about the sausage-fingered trust fund brat. But you’ll have to turn off the news to get the news. As with electing Obama twice, those who thought a blowhard deserved scrutiny have been shouted down by those with no reasonable arguments of which to speak. Take comfort in knowing the erstwhile cable news favorite of conservatives will never live it down any more than the cultists they serve.
As for a one-man soul-seller, Trump lackey Rush Limbaugh can sod off for all the times I objected to people calling him a mere entertainer. For one, there’s nothing entertaining about him. Who thinks it’s good radio for the most established host imaginable to claim he’s fighting for outsiders by lauding a bribing charlatan? Thinking such programming is enjoyable explains why Two and a Half Men was on the air for so long.
The gasbag’s descent into Trumpian madness is particularly disappointing on a personal level, as I listened to him when I first got into politics, I whispered. Sure, it was ages ago and only for about as long as college kids get into drugs, but I want to be more honest than he’s become. Hearing someone articulate why the government shouldn’t bother us was a revelation to a young person who was already into being left alone. I’ll always remain thankful for the contrast he emphasized during the Gulf War between Americans who were, well, pro-American and rude scum who shrieked about how rotten we were for freeing a country invaded by a global jerk.
But his influence died along with virtual pets. I tuned away when the show became more about him than conservatism, which means I didn’t last long. My boredom with Limbaugh’s three-hour daily ego trip led to the odd situation where conservatives would defend him from liberal attacks while I felt like joining neither. Still, I sided with his listeners in theory, at least until now. My empathy with people who tune in for a pompous endorsement of a fellow loudmouth is disappearing more quickly than my respect for Laura Ingraham. I should thank whoever endured his show to let the world know what a Trump shill he’s become.
It’s amazing how the revolutionary apparatus become everything they despised. I just wish there was a broader lesson for the country. Anyway, the network that broke the monopoly now must itself be toppled. Conservatives need to turn elsewhere, which the 2001 version of me would’ve dismissed like talk that Google would dominate without search categories. Powering down the TV seems like it may leave you behind the times, but it’ll actually help you advance. Browse about the device on which you’re reading this for updates from the world instead.
Nobody speaks for conservatives. That’s the whole point. That said, it is nice to find ideological allies. Now, it’s far easier to pick those you admire. You had to memorize which number Fox News a decade ago to find opinions to the right of Bernie that were virtually unaired elsewhere. But there are too many options thanks to the endless information accessed through the ether. Setting up your own newsfeed is the best option for those tired of explaining why, say, Ann Coulter is a shrill harpy who represents nothing about you. Ignoring who claims to represent your beliefs is the best way to defeat stereotypes, and you luckily have the cyber tools.
As with successful businesses, Trump didn’t create division. He just inadvertently exposed the cracks. I never thought we’d need a right-wing alternative to Fox News. But their endless video Valentine to a grating poser over on Fifth Avenue has shown they’re interested in whatever gets attention, not actually representing a half-fair debate. Conservatives just want a fair hearing, which isn’t an option while a leftist posing as a Republican has a cable public relations agency.
All the cultists who warn of an apocalypse caused by some nefarious force called The Establishment have by chance done us a favor: we don’t feel compelled to defend silly people just because they happen to align with our votes. They cast differently now, anyway. Those seduced by a strongman instead of the prospect of liberty are begging to be dominated. Sadly, some of those submissives who are impressed by the goon are in position to give him free airtime.
Impressed yokels may think they’re being clever by promoting the clown car tour. But the spike strip approaches. Once the fad fades, Uncle Rupert’s Fan Club is going to be surprised at their remaining audience’s lack of earning power. After paying back student loans to get a doctorate from Trump University, there’s not much left to buy Life Alert monitoring.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/604353.