Thank Donald Trump for empty boasting and full nonsense, as his buffoonish devotion to the adulation of yokels creates the chance to define conservatism. For starters, it has nothing to do with statism encased in tacky black glass. Of course, the few useful things the arrogant failure does are by accident. But we have to take what we can at a time when someone like him can be popular.
Those who hang around the Republican Party for more than just the lame thrill of dull political spectacle from a boorish casino-closer seek a properly-limited government where human interaction is a byproduct of liberty. We don’t crave our own bully. It never hurts to review the basics. Remedial courses are frustrating for those in advanced placement, so how about everyone starts paying attention so we can all be on the same chapter, please? Anyone who matriculated at Trump University should stay late for tutoring.
I have just the creepy dolt for you to worship if you’re tired of the quest to not be bothered. Trump is nothing more than a crude caricature of a conservative businessman. His obsession with superficial trappings of success is as boring as the thuggish way he boasts of buying off politicians. Worst of all, too many sadly think this is what the opposition to liberalism is. Small-government fans don’t want sellers favored over buyers: they favor neutrality. Flaunting wealth has nothing more to do with free markets than bribing incumbents. Both are Trump Inc. specialties. Genuine entrepreneurs peddle something more than an unpleasant last name spelled out in hideous gold.
The centerstage sideshow isn’t worth a ticket. I’m tired of thinking about what the constant failure believes, especially since I’ve spent more time thinking about it that he has. Trump is a liberal in the sense he believes anything that gives his purchased allies power is good. It’s too bad the 69-year-old brat can’t fake his way through issues as he thinks. Evasiveness when he knows nothing is a nice break from him tonguing audiences. But it may be just about time to note his enthusiastic embrace of power. You can call it conservatism if you like being wrong. The only thing worse than him lying is the fact he might believe it.
I hate those other guys because they’re not our guys. Some in politics don’t even realize why they’re on the team they are. All they know is that they want to punish the other side. That nasty impulse works better in sports. A party is a somewhat convenient method for electing candidates with worthwhile ideas. We cut and run as soon as it stops functioning like that. By contrast, Stubby Donald demands blind loyalty, which is expected from someone whose sole idea is that he’s great despite evidence.
Every coerced donation to a politician in order to proceed with commerce raises prices. Entrepreneurs shouldn’t have to waste what’s ultimately consumers’ money buying favors. But that’s the only way the economically inept can advance. Among countless other problems, there’s nothing conservative about groveling before an elected dunce who’s never created anything other than intimidation in order to get something done. Official approval to engage in business is too often part of the cost. Trump likes it because pocketing a senator is easier than competing.
The question of just how to make America great again is too advanced. Just rage out at anyone who’s ever won an election, says the man very much not running a cult. It’s the Establishment that’s the bad guy, not Xenu. You’ll get things if you back the right strongman, claims the man inadvertently demonstrating what a cargo cult is. At least Jonestown residents got outdoor time.
Know why you’re cheering. The orange person’s empty endorsement of the red, white, and blue is the kind of brainless patriotism that makes us look bad both as Americans and humans. Those who genuinely admire the country and know why have a grasp of which things suck and how to fix them. The broad principle is universal: stop bothering us. On that note, don’t try to recruit a better botherer. Based on this particular goon’s tenuous grasp of constitutional law and English, he can’t even harass people proficiently.
Conservatism is merely the recognition that humans should be free to negotiate. I’ll feel the Bern before I let my ideology be connected to worship of a hateful little man whose only product is braggadocio. As with his devotees, Trump needs to learn why an unpleasant attitude leads to bad bargains. I never thought that’d be an issue. Of course, I’m shocked ignorance is a virtue, but 2016 is full of fun regressive retro trends. It’s sadly unsurprising this is a culture where a Full House reboot is embraced.
The response to eight Obama years doesn’t have to be as brutish as he’s been. The sequel could be even worse. Trump’s out to glorify himself when his supporters should want a president whose name they’ll forget. They could have sought a leader who trusts them to be left to their own means. But they’re consistent about surrendering their right to make decisions, which coincides with their chintzy messiah’s dedication to favoritism, nepotism, and legal graft. A man who’s open about making payoffs is the last guy who’ll stand for self-sufficiency.
Unrestrained productivity is infinitely more fulfilling than crossing names off a revenge list. Instead of seeking to torment dissenters by nominating a fuming clown who’d be doomed in November anyway, get back at liberals by dismantling their irksome framework. Their pathetic attempt to manage every contingency will topple like a toothpick tower. We can rebuild with lumber we buy, at least for those not connected to four bankruptcies. Liberty means having to work for success, which is why Donald hates it.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/604353.