Gig Gagging

Government can’t keep good humans down.  Growth despite it all is the greatest testament to the human spirit in the face of traitorous members who want to control our transactions for our own good.  The only industries thriving are all in areas outside state control.  Life’s predictable in that way.  At least the specifics of reactions are surprising if you fear boredom.  You can call simple negotiations between someone with something to sell and someone else with money to buy capitalism if you need to define it, but just know the thing you want is out there for a price.

Oh, it’s just progressives literally stop people from moving.  Your unassailable right to get a ride from anyone willing to offer it at a mutually-acceptable price really ticks off people who think they were elected to supervise.  As usual, the government doesn’t trust you, in this case to hire someone so you can get somewhere from the back seat. Ride-sharing embodies the tension between supply and demand in an unprecedentedly pure way that naturally freaks out elected autocrats who want you sitting still.

The predictability of the regulation-minded stands in stark contrast to the way markets evolve in unexpected ways.  I’m tired of news stories about the newest city to hassle a company that sells movement at an agreeable price.  Uber-banners are behind on trends. You may as well hope your town gets a cupcake bakery.

The garage sale economy is not as low-rent as it sounds.  Peddling junk that others admire enough to purchase proves we each determine what is valuable.  Life is about perception and connecting those with differing levels of taste, which you wouldn’t know from those who think we vote our way to job creation.  It’s worlds easier to find what you’d like on eBay and Etsy than on a ballot.  Let the world shop for your attic’s contents and glue gun knickknacks.

Politicians don’t get that we poor saps are already watching for bad deals.  The most important regulation takes the form of feedback from those who voluntary chose to interact.  Shoppers didn’t need a command to check star ratings.  Noting whether or not others were satisfied puts regulators out of work.  Thankfully, they were just impeding us at our expense.  They can learn to peddle what’s in their attics instead.

Technology tops regulation.  The government can’t keep up.  An utter inability to maintain pace with human ingenuity should tell statists something.  Their restrictions on good people which bad people disregard are no different from trying to stop crime by making guns a pain to buy legally.  If you don’t believe me, look it up on the supercomputer in your pocket that was somehow created without a mandate or federal grants.  The government also doesn’t care for new ways of communicating at literal lightning speed, as news of their idiocy travels quicker.  The most relevant law is Moore’s.

Working with each other on a voluntary basis is hurtful to those who are kind enough to claim we’re not capable of managing our needs.  Politicians and those who select them never take a hint.  Humans work better when we choose who gets our business or money.  By contrast, having precisely one health care option has made everyone feel nauseous.

Killjoys strive to find ways to crack down anywhere our species thrives.  Take sales taxes on internet purchases.  The whole point was that consumers felt free because the lack of punishment by grabby politicians.  We’re a few clicks from literally anything, and the ironically greedy see that means to speedy fulfillment as a way to prop up states who think draining the economy preserves civilization. The worst part is how smug they are about chasing off jobs.  Maybe the goons will learn by 2017 that people don’t exist for the sole purpose of funding government.

Commerce doesn’t even need a name.  What we call the free market is simply an exchange between parties that have stuff each other wants.  The exchange can involve any combination of items, cash, and exertion, and I don’t care.  Find someone who wants or has your things and see what they’ll trade for it, as it’s your business.

Be consistent about home invasions.  Liberals who claim their foes want to regulate the bedroom want to impose themselves everywhere else in the dwelling, not to mention their eagerness to demonstrate perversities.  Humans will always find a way to get their goods and find a way to compensate.  That’s unless you shouldn’t be allowed to pay a driver.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at


Bipartisan Badness

Trump point

Both parties suck it.  Can we at least agree on that?  Bad ideas are bipartisan.  Voters hopefully think one side has slightly fewer of them.  The divide results from one side heartily embracing the all-time classically stupid idea that government works.  At least one faction should oppose buying extended warranties.  The opposition half-assedly giving in to the other side’s horrid concepts is not the way to bring together Americans.  Let the dim ones think they got good value out of the sealant packages the car salesmen push on them, as some ideas aren’t universal for good reason.

The particular dope in a suit pushing a crummy concept is irrelevant, as party changes nothing.  Or, at least it shouldn’t.  Join a political group because it at least marginally promotes your beliefs.  If the worthless organization violates them, curse until they change or leave them abandoned on the shoulder like a Dodge.  Parties should obey you, not the other way around.  Like leaving the methadone patient who needs to borrow another 10 dollars for supplies, you’ll be better on your own.  Align with those similarly alienated.  It’s nice to finally enjoy togetherness.

Put a nice wrapper on a Hershey’s bar, and it’ll still taste like a candle.  It’s not magically acceptable when someone from your party endorses ridiculous programs favored on the aisle’s other side.  A diluted version is even less appealing due to lack of commitment. Voters always back the candidate who’s more determined to waste money if the other option promises to fritter only half as much.

The Party of Reagan trying to spur the economy with your money isn’t an improvement.  Among other projectiles, the claim that Bush did it has often been hurled at Republicans opposed to ludicrous spending incessantly during this particularly spendthrift era.  Many felt the urge to reflexively defend George Junior, especially considering the shoddy quality of his critics.  But a party is supposed to be a loose conglomeration of people who share a political philosophy.  Instead, some people think they must defend it even when it’s acting indefensibly.  Cheering for a sports team just because it’s based in the same area code leads to bad habits.  Condemn questionable personnel moves.

Many Republicans have changed their status to “It’s complicated” due to their partner’s infuriated dalliances with the worst sort of statist, namely a bully who can’t win a fight.  Unconvincing faker Donald Trump doesn’t make thuggish conduct better because he’s pretending to be a Republican out of convenience at present. In fact, his lame threats are even more alarming coming from a phony oaf purportedly representing a party whose first president said “With malice toward none.”

At least there’s finally a benefit out of a vulgar faux titan running off his mouth without effect: it’ll be much easier to disavow any party that sticks with him.  The GOP is daring you to break up with them, so take how they prefer consuming marijuana to attending job interviews as a sign.  Let the casual manner in which he changes affiliation as easily as he shutters businesses offer a reminder that parties are only useful as long as they sell your product.  We’re not stuck with political families, especially one with a loutish stepfather whom we wish drank so there’d at least be an excuse.  Feel free to eat Christmas brunch in another house.

Like so many ancient notions such as buying your own items and earning raises, it’s now portrayed as quaint that each side is supposed to advocate particular ideals.  Partisans have lost touch with the notion that the party is supposed to answer to them.  They just want to get a thug in their corner.  But pushing around the other side feels unfulfilling for a reason.  Push bureaucracy out of the way instead.  It’s inherently leftists to use whichever team you’ve joined to exert power over anyone foolish enough to wear different insignia.  As usual, people who just want to be left alone may not get a real choice.

Things suck, so try the reverse.  It should be easy to make the case for conservatism when big government has been helpfully knocking the wind out of anyone still breathing.  Instead, many have regrettably turned to lunacy.  The Obama presidency has beaten down residents so much that some only dream of lashing out.  You’ll never get adopted from the shelter that way.  There would be no worse tragedy than turning to a goon with a different lapel pin instead of pointing out an alternative to abuse.

A disturbing number of primary voters merely want to inflict as much pain as they’ve received, which psychiatrists agree is the healthiest approach to life.  Power is most usefully applied to get government to stop bothering you instead of to bother everyone but you. Republicans with revenge fantasies don’t turn on anyone else.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at

Trade Fairly

You have to earn if you want to have nice things.  I’m so sorry.  The very definition of what success is eludes us, with suitably unsuccessful results.  Achievements can’t be handed out or mandated, although that doesn’t stop society’s wisest from attempting to award them to all.  Yeah, goals will certainly keep their value if everyone gets them.

You’d think humans would’ve learned that there’s no option on the ballot for comfort, and voting for anyone who offers it will just make life harsher.  But the lava may taste like cherry sodie pop the next time, so scoop a handful again with the limb that’s not burned off.

Earning a raise is as obsolete as denying bad guys nukes.  Atomic and financial unfairness still plague our cruel world. Still, we can at least punish those who hire people.  There is no greater crime than training the unskilled to be productive enough to have self-worth while paying their own expenses.  Sufficiency is decadent, kulak.

Actual productivity doesn’t occur by ordering it, so I order that to stop.  Those who think that all prosperity takes is a higher pay rate only ensure the moving men get to schlep more boxes into their new mansions.  You’ll be paid 15 dollars per hour to work at the job you can’t find. Governors daft enough to think riches follow overpaying cashiers inadvertently hasten the age of the machines.  Welcome to the future, where your politeness won’t keep a machine earning zero dollars per hour from terminating your job.

Those whose drawers never add up boast about the purported compassion involved in ludicrous starting pay for register jockeys. Well, we have to compensate for how none of them now work.  Everyone would be well-off if anyone was hiring.  Since the higher minimum wage eliminates employment, we’ll have to increase welfare spending.  Don’t you have a heart?

Offering labor or a product that others want to buy seems unfair to idlers. For a loud example, Donald Trump fears changes to a system where he can profit from purchasing politicians.  He certainly won’t get wealthy from his shady companies. It’s good he didn’t just run to pump up his ego, or else others might start thinking he had selfish motives.  I hate to be so cynical.

Sadly, the son of an actually successful developer isn’t the only privileged twerp who wants to shove you around to compensate for personal failure.  Hillary should be in prison, if only for being so rich despite being wholly unskilled.  Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders is best suited to demand spare change from bus terminal patrons, not putting his list of demonized businessmen in FBI hands.  All strive to meet the precedent set by Barack Obama getting rich bitching that the country where he did so prevents it from happening. Notice there are no skills deployed other than suckering the system. All of them will shriek extensively about how rich bastards are exploiting you.  They are exceptions.

Tricking enough people into relaxing while others earn is the ultimate Ponzi scheme.  It’s legal, so don’t call 911.  Karma is the punishment. Take how those supposedly joyous minimum wage hikes leads to fewer workers doing the same work, which is a tiring way to learn about unintended consequences. The preening idiots who created woe are easy to spot as the ones who think you can’t manage to negotiate a raise.

Not thinking ahead or at all is an old problem.  The sense that this is a particularly stupid era is not unfounded, although it’s important to remember that humanity’s refusal to flip on brain switches is not special.  It’s easier in these modern rocket times to trick the public thanks to satellites, which is not even a Ron Paul mind wave conspiracy.

Modern man finds the glowing screen light comfy like a campfire that can Shazam unknown tunes for you.  People have always been dim; it just happens more instantly now.  Human sponges who soak up misinformation on social media are untouched by sun rays.

Elected idiots who become intimately involved with your life undoubtedly know what’s best for you, so that’s a relief.  The only thing worse than their harebrained blueprints is their audacious eagerness to blame ensuing failures on the lack of regulation.  They’ll need more control to compensate for gluing their fingers together.  Giving them slightly more power over us is a small price for bliss.  All that needs to happen know is for everything they promise to come true, so the hard work’s over.

Every supermarket offers a dozen good barbeque sauces, while every election offers two lousy choices.  The lack of pleasant options shows how politics differs from the free market.  So, it’s obviously greedy businessmen who made you poor.  Punish owners until they pay you more.  They owe you for reasons that are too important to articulate rationally.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at

Sabotage As Policy

It still counts as an accident if the driver aims at the wall.  But the insurance adjustor may take notice of the cause.  Incompetence versus competence in failure is presently a debate topic if you want to know how things are going. The most frightening part of these stupid times is that Barack Obama knows what results from his policies.  Arguing about whether he’s a putz or demented mastermind is quite a legacy.  Of course, let’s not forget what a petty little man this president is, either. Fair people weigh all sides.

Contemporary pain is easy to bitch about as if it hurts more than those who broke bones in the past.  But these ouchies are unfortunately unique. We’re enduring a new kind of American nightmare where Tim Burton designs our days minus the quirkiness.  You can try to vote yourself Beetlejuice, but you’re more likely to have memories of Willy Wonka trashed.

Bad presidents used to try hard but simply muck it up.  Jimmy Carter was simply outfoxed.  Obama invited in the fox and tapes bacon to us.  Logic makes it seem baffling why he would kiss North Korean keister or the fact a Gitmo parole board exists. But it all adds up as long as the goal is making us look like particularly dim babies.  I didn’t say it was sensible.

It’s particularly perverse to volunteer for life as Iran’s bitch.  Our kneeling executive may actually believe that the mullahs are only spinning atoms for peace.  Still, I’m more inclined to believe that even this White House’s staff isn’t dumb enough to think they’re disarming a bad guy with their deal, with the exception of Marie Harf.  In truth, they think it’s so unfair how not everyone gets nukes.  Scientifically, that’s elitist. Plus, what if some future Republican jerk blows up some innocent party?  We best spread the splitting in the name of fusion.

Peace will be here tomorrow along with a robust economy.  For now, sinking America isn’t raising other countries.  At least we get humiliation as a reward.  We hurt the Persians’ feelings once, you insensitive brute, so we’re going to apologize on nuclear terms.  Our country is weak thanks to lack of backbone.  Giving away vertebrae will do that. I’m sure our new Ayatollah pals know how to weld them via extreme heat.

Those who persist in thinking guns overwhelm any humans who hold them into committing felonies aren’t going to change their outlook for terrorism.  Consistent pacifists never look to fight back.  Blaming the container where we store bad guys for contempt aimed our way sounds like the theme of a Michael Moore film. But such twisted editing still plagues our horrid offscreen lives.  The president can’t seem to answer what caused the contempt aimed our way before we fenced in terrorists offshore.  These poor terrorists must’ve been indignant about previous American offenses like natural rights and killing global scoundrels.

Your sadness is part of the scheme.  It’s not an accident you feel wretched, if that makes you feel better.  So from where do you keep summoning energy?  Our flight plan into irrelevancy hinged on citizens getting too worn down to fight back.  But the anger keeps us going.  The continued resistance to Obama’s nonsense means he once again miscalculated about this country.  I’m starting to think he’s bad at math.

What’s it gonna take to get you into wiping your feet on the Constitution today?  Handouts were supposed to function as bribes to acquire your acquiescence.  Yet discouraged yet resilient countrymen try to wait out the fallout.  No, you can’t excel under present gloomy conditions and would be punished even if you somehow managed to chip through the chains.  But what we can do is set you up with a benefits package. Your souls were supposed to be cheaper than this, which explains the debt.

At least any version of America that survives will have ample cautionary lessons.  It will be to our eternal shame that the next president after the one who saw us through an unimaginable terror attack scolded us for painting targets.  Let’s elect someone who likes it here next time, shall we?  Enough voters wanted a gentleman who thought America was the problem, so they can’t act like they’re surprised.

It’s been harder to find someone glad to be a citizen to run for president than expected.  I blame the challenges resulting from trying the alternative. Rubbing the shoulders of villains brings peace in the same way dependent Americans discover prosperity.  The humiliation of either begging for groceries or for wicked nations to not bully us should feel like stinging wounds.  Irrelevant dependency didn’t happen by poor luck.  Obama’s a success on his terms, which is to say he failed.

Ideas, Not This Man

Humans are awful, which is why it’s better to follow ideas.  You should even be a little suspicious of me.  Actually, be very suspicious.  The soundest philosophies are not associated with one person.  That’s the whole point of believing in a government that’s as small as it’s supposed to be: the concept stays alive even if the biggest backer of it gets hit by a car.  Still, please be careful while crossing.

Unlike the current nationalism fad, free markets aren’t a cult.  It’s true no matter how devoted certain buyers are to White Castle.  But it’s tough to maintain purity.  The one party supposedly sort-of interested in leaving you be has been hijacked by a crowd forming an angry face.  I thought everyone was sick of one guy with dubious capacity for logic bossing about everyone.  But many shrieking rally attendees just want to be on the dim jerk’s good side.  Put a framed photo of the president on the mantel next to photos of an unworthy family.  Most raging bullies have swell ideas.

Since they need ideas reinforced, be sure to state once more that we won’t be associated with the Trump minions.  Let the longterm consequences stick to those who made a rash decision to align with a hateful goober.  They made an even worse deal than their leader does.

The benefit of joining the mob is an association with a glorified blog commenter spewing his deluded manifestos aloud. Meanwhile, they’re forced to condemn whoever the Hell the elites are.  Radio hosts claim it’s not them, and anyone who sells airtime for a living is bound to be honest.  It’s clear they didn’t understand free market transactions to begin with. Like we keep saying, they’re Democrats.

The commitment to delusion is nearly impressive.  There’s plenty work for any psychologist that wants it, making it one of the few fields to thrive.  Based on voting records, it’s clear we deal with sickos who enjoyed high school.  Anyone who still thinks Barack Obama is the coolest can’t wait for their class reunions even if they don’t have jobs about which to brag.  Cafeteria castes never ended for this clique.  It’s time to graduate to a belief system not based around a fake nice guy proclaiming sharing is so cool that it should be mandatory.  The effectiveness doesn’t increase if the leader admits to being unpleasant.

Money belongs to those who received it as pay, which is somehow presently a radical idea. Worship very flawed men if you wish.  Just know support for those who advocate bad ones doesn’t taint us.  Popular or not, constitutional fidelity remains the only valid political stance.  Ask why not being bossed around scares people.

Thinking for oneself is the ultimate throwback.  Tough primitives from maybe 30 years ago didn’t need a schedule dictated to them.  All righteous intrusion-haters want is a reasonable tax rate that remains unchanged as they get ahead, not a de facto dictator they try to convince into lowering the burden for just them.  People who don’t want to be bothered tend to be uninterested in candidate worship.  It’s tricky to want a leader you trust to trust you.  But the alternative is being punished for objecting.

Look for ideas, not their salesman.  Republicans have conducted an eternal search for Ronald Reagan’s heir, as it sure wasn’t Ron Junior.  It’s understandable to mention the Alpha Republican’s name reverently seeing as how we haven’t seen his successor’s performance because of time’s nature.  But we don’t need his zombie clone, although I’d certainly vote for that in November.  What’s still alive is what he wanted.  Look for someone who shares his vision of pointing missiles at global villains while lifting the curfew on citizens.

I want to forget the president’s name.  The notion of being unbothered is sacrilegious to those who want their leader’s profile chiseled into the stadium’s facade.  The belief in a muscular leader subduing threats is very North Korea-y.  You may have noticed the lack of abundance in countries where the government and executive are the same, hopefully from afar in a Daily Mail story. But some want to enrich the current Kim by importing Juche.

New Jonestown settlers either think a goon can will happiness into being or just hope to curry favor.  Meekly beg for handouts and not executions.  Those excessively devoted to one candidate are either mindless or calculating.  I’m unsure which is better.  The Koreans who are free from light pollution didn’t have a choice. Revulsion to hassles will outlive us all.  Campaigns based around coercion die of natural causes.  But natural rights have no expiration date.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at

Big Brother Is Bothering You

Freedom through control appeals to the wrong sort of “1984” fans.  The book’s not a comedy.  I’d ask those who skimmed it in high school to peruse it more carefully now, but trying to get people to read chapters is hopeless in the age where Facebook posts that spill onto a third line go unread.

Light readers don’t see the book as the ultimate cautionary tale about government: no, they admire authority’s efficiency and thoroughness.  I don’t think it’s meant as a guidebook, but this plot takes crazy turns.  On that note, one thing Orwell missed is that the most frightening part of a surveillance state would be how many people volunteered to be monitored.

A disturbing number of voters beg to be ordered around.  It’s easier than decisions.  Very reasonable people who understand how Earth functions want life without responsibility.  Is someone working on energy-burning doughnuts?  Just issue an executive order; they fix everything.  This warped version of a free life requires massive government intervention, and almost nobody’s well-read enough to know what irony means, much less have examples of it in mind.  There’s no literacy test for handouts, so gimme free tuition.

Letting someone else care for you means you’re not fully human.  Instead of finding a job, the empty deadbeats will make themselves feel fuller by banning criticism.  First to be silenced will be anyone pointing out the social justice mob is comprised of kids no matter their ages. Claim it’s society that benefits from funding your desires in order to maximize self-righteousness.  Growing up is inevitable while growing old is optional, according to the writer of a coffee mug slogan who shouldn’t be advising anyone.

Anyone seeking a guarantee from government for their own life is ruining it for others.  I bet they call workers greedy.  You’re free to to strum a guitar for as many hours as you’d like as long as you don’t expect others to buy you dinner after your fingers tire.  Aw, it’s so nice to bring tunes to the world.  But same world should like it enough to compensate you for providing pleasant sounds.  That’s not even factoring how most street bums aren’t hidden virtuosos.  Delusion doesn’t propel the economy as far as you’d hope.

A skill is irrelevant if nobody will pay to be entertained.  The whole point is to find someone who likes what you do enough to offer compensation.  Motivation makes life work.  On the other hand, it’s so mean to expect a delusional slacker to quit pursuing a useless career to learn a trade.  What next: buying the insurance you personally use?

Who pays for it?  Wondering who’s going to be stuck holding the bill is most important thing to ponder in every life aspect.  For adults.  By contrast, kids want to go back to Showbiz Pizza Place the day after their birthdays.  The difference is fun-loving kids have the excuse of being born only a decade ago. If today’s hypersensitive old youths do think about the subject of costs, it’s only to be glad someone else picked up the check.  They don’t care as long as it’s not them.  That’s what makes them selfless. Through sheer chance, those who are isolated from the checkout also don’t seem interested in going to some job.

Everyone else must work twice as hard to compensate for those who don’t work much at all, so let’s wrap up the break and get back to it.  People expecting to receive what they want without toil are no longer shamed out of the village.  Predictably, the entire commune is fading.

The overwhelming burden on the few who remain employed is exacerbated by supporting both themselves and society’s loafers.  That tremendous tension really helps cope with semipermanent financial crisis.  Don’t worry, as the White House is releasing as many terrorists as they can to relieve more stress.

Covering one’s own’s bills used to signal adulthood.  Now, it means being a sucker.  At least that’s the sad outlook of today’s Michael Jacksons who are proud of never growing up.  Of course, the true suckers are men in the mirror who think they’ll get away with mooching for eternity.  On the other hand, bank robbers never get caught while slot machine players will eventually beat the house.  Economic triumph just takes perseverance.

Everyone with a card that never gets declined must have stolen their riches from the jobs they’re at all day.  It never occurred to proud bums that those with wealth may have earned it.  But why learn about unwritten rules?  The same government that hands them a comfortable living can be used to silence those upset about freeloaders.  Getting the remaining grownups to keep funding the sprees of others is trickier, especially because that takes work.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at

Smugness for Sale

Dumb Starbucks

I just want to buy coffee.  After all, I am a human being and thus cannot function without it.  If you’re capable of going about your day without Earth’s most valuable resource, please shed your fake fleshy packaging and return to your lizard planet.  Regardless, those of us native to this world often get a lecture along with the caffeine dose required to live, which is a violation of our right to not be bothered by a crusading company while still cranky.

Serving a Selfrighteousaccino dispels the notion that enterprises are dominated by malicious right-wingers.  An unnerving number of retailers operate as if feeling the Bern is too conservative.  The only non-leftist company seems to be Chick-fil-A, which keeps Christian values to themselves unless politeness counts.

Pursuing policies that shackle the free market is a shortsighted embodiment of downturn.  We should note ominous indicators.  It’s a bad sign that conglomerates think outward leftism is popular.  Of course, the economy sucks, so maybe those who think exchanging cash for an item should be accompanied by a brochure about whitey’s latent racism need lessons in return.

Most people turn to sports leagues for moral guidance.  Still, the NFL should fix their busted head problem before telling states they should stop respecting consciences. The recent intimidation of Georgia over their willingness to consider an ultimately vetoed bill designed to acknowledge that some are unenthusiastic about gay marriage is much worse than the trifling conduct that draws unsportsmanlike penalty calls in the NFL’s frustrating competitions. Only the league is allowed to play rough.

The usual preeners couldn’t stand for federalism, especially in the name of true diversity.  Apple and Disney joined in the dirty competition against the Peach State, which is particularly galling of companies known for indulging in horrors like Chinese labor and It’s a Small World, respectively.  Manufacturing hypocrisy is a contemporary specialty.  I’m sure everyone hassling Mississippi won’t do business with Muslim countries, either.  Just joking: it’s not like hanging gays is worse than a Hattiesburg florist thinking men marry women.

It’s shocking today, but business schools used to teach that pushing politics on the public was rude and unprofitable.  Offending people who have money is just one way liberal vendors ensure their customer service bites.  Everyone out for an apolitical transaction has their personal list of sanctimonious offenders.  JetBlue has turned from a fun outlaw into just another crummy airline as their social media decided it needed to pimp causes.  Also, customer service at Caesars has declined while they’ve decided to push what they think marriage is, but I’m sure an Atlantic City casino can afford to be divisive.  And Chipotle’s Twitter account was gross long before became a petri dish.  Why focus on products?

The illusion that companies are inherently GOP hives is as flimsy as the GDP.  But this is also the era of not learning.  Therefore, Bernie Sanders Fan Club enlistees will continue to demonize the multinational conglomerates who support their leader’s policies. Whether for show or out of foolish partisanship, many ventures opt for suicidal lobbying.  The cool outposts posting rainbow avatars last summer never bothered to consider if the Supreme Court was considering something other than whether or not love was legal.  It doesn’t necessarily take a genius to sell t-shirts.  American Apparel still struggles to do it.

To be fair, some corporate entities only pursue liberal policies out of selfishness.  But I thought they wanted to help others.  Executives see legislative protection as a practical matter, not an ideological one.  Buying favors from politicians is ultimately a money-saver. Take how statist legend Donald Trump bribed his way into whatever meager success he didn’t inherit. It beats competing.  Others try to be as corrupt with varying success, depending on your definition.

Meanwhile, some sellers want to save us from the danger provided by competitors succeeding.  Putting others out of business with regulatory burdens is one way to appear high-minded while issuing low blows to upstarts who can’t afford a piece of paper proclaiming that the government lets them, say, cut hair.  Or maybe noted right-wing commerce hive Walmart supported Obamacare because they wanted everyone to have insurance.

There are better ways to illustrate consumer interaction that being a jerk to dissenters.  Companies now think their mission is to punish states that note humans don’t have to participate in what they decline to believe is a wedding.  And I thought the goal was to make cash. Those who think smug extortion represents the free market are undoubtedly the same misguided souls railing against bankers instead of subprime mortgages.

It’s deflating to realize how many executives are confused leftists for those who thought profitable emporiums would be obvious allies in the cause of an unrestrained America.  The real Buffett Rule is that commercial successes can be idiots at everything else.  Mike Bloomberg has spent his life obeying it.

As is usually the case these days, lessons are inadvertent.  Companies selling you messages unwittingly reinforce the notion that conservatives are pro-business, not pro-businesses.  Devotion to enterprise means indifference to the transaction. Figure it out yourselves, whether you’re looking to sell at the highest price or buy at the lowest.

It sucks that there’s only one place to shop.  If that’s not the case, the disgusted are in luck.  Those opposed to scoldings from a seller about why the only thing more evil than genetically modified organisms is the notion that marriage involves two genders can patronize places down the block.  It’s not even that you have to agree: it’s that arrogant merchants think they’re anointed with moral authority by virtue of their ability to peddle goods adeptly.  Selling sanctimony brings diminishing returns.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at