How dare you. Referring to a human as a male just because of an Adam’s apple and bulging junk is a crime on par with wanting to get people off welfare. Too many asylum inmates worry about feelings being hurt instead of the nation being wounded. Innocent remarks that shouldn’t ache in the slightest are now treated as mortal offenses. Meanwhile, actual gore gets ignored. America’s going to croak from gangrene as the doctors bicker about what gender is.
There are no greater crimes than reciting passages from the Constitution or pointing out people are born with naughty parts. All the innocents supposedly serving life sentences for eating pot brownies should be released so we can fill prisons with committers of hate crimes like those who think taxation rots incentive. This is the new criminal justice reform.
Misplaced outrage is the best kind. Sure, it’s tiresome to get yelled at by women’s studies majors who’ve never studied women. But that’s the price of progress. If you’ve noticed the rot makes the foundation shaky, you are undoubtedly aware at how many fellow citizens get upset at fake slights, not destruction of precious values. Freak out at those who accurately point out what sort of deluded ideals actually mess up the country if you’d like to feel less alone.
There should be fewer arguments now that everyone who laments the state of intellectual discourse in the Kardashian States has been muzzled. Telling anyone who dissents to shut the hell up is a novel approach to tolerance. Our inferior moral superiors think they hold the only views that aren’t evil and bigoted, which means only they may speak freely. It’s nearly a neat trick, although not one that will end chronic unemployment.
Shouting down everyone who thinks putting more people on benefits causes harm is a new national pastime. Massive spending without result continues to grow for mysterious reasons. Those whose only form of productivity is outrage think that everyone in legitimate business employs similar contortions in order to profit. Now that’s a lack of empathy.
Let’s be offended that someone born a man is referred to by a male name. Oh, Iran’s pushing the hands forward on its atomic clock while our debt countdown ticks. We’re too busy trying to remember what not to call people despite their parts to notice. Remember that humans born attracted to other genders, but not born with your gender. This is tricky to track, so please don’t holler at me for treating the different sexes as they were from humanity’s beginning until this week.
Merely suggesting that the science may be a bit off is enough to be branded a hateful Hitler. Meanwhile, experiments conclude that debt might crush us if atomic mullahs doesn’t get to it first. At least we’ll be free from one threat. It’s a fun dash to see what won’t destroy us. Oh, right: we’ll be destroyed, which is bad for everyone no matter what gender they think they may be. I may risk banishment to an intolerant Red State by pointing this out, but there’s an easy self-visual check to learn. The real concern should be how hard it is to find work and thrive no matter what parts individuals admit are connected.
Fascist bullying is for unity. The Tolerance Death Squads wandering our streets and campuses are quite eager to condemn others for what the targets purportedly don’t accept. Pointless semantics offer a fun distraction from the astounding personal ignorance of antisocial and unjust social justice lunatics. Not knowing the ninja stars hurt fails to make having one embedded in one’s skull less painful.
The sanctimoniously ignorant possess zero understanding of free markets, other than how peddling is mean and allows people who want items or money to be exploited. Founders didn’t even feel the need to define retail interactions. They presumed we were capable of engaging in commerce and negotiation. That promise still rings true today no matter how many citizens seem incapable of feeding themselves. Americans vote at U-Haul supposedly bigoted states gain electoral votes as they stop bothering people. Meanwhile, open-minded states tax businesses until they close. But it’s cruel to track patterns.
Letting people buy their own things provides freedom in a way banning phrases like “illegal immigrant” never will. Accuracy is now irrelevant. Not enough offense is taken at the government telling anyone of any orientation they have to buy crummy insurance as a punishment for existing. We can work out the pronouns later. I know “we” may be unacceptable.
The small growth number next to the percent sign should offend us infinitely more than the feelings of those deluded by misplaced outrage. Let’s exhume the corpses of presidents who owned slaves and work the jaws to make them apologize.
Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/604353.