Lowercase Capitalism


Buying what you like with what you’ve accumulated is despised if you’re wondering why you have that declining feeling.  Welcome to the dwindling republic.  I’m tired of knowing what a Kardashian is.  It’d feel much worse to mock the stupid if they weren’t so self-righteous.  They’re the ones making Melissa McCarthy a star whether or not we like it, and we definitely don’t.  The only relief is the inability to afford absurdly pricey tickets.  Rejecting capitalism stands at the apex of proud stupidity.  Reject math, negotiation, and free will while you’re at it.  Modern man is trying his hardest.

Only people coasting on the effort of forefathers would feel entitled to condemn a term for buying things.  Americans giving up American things is a new national pastime.  We didn’t lose a war, or at least not the stereotypical shooting kind.  It’s just that our way was defeated.  All it took was enough unpleasant humans thinking that people buying or working are being exploited.  Wars are just how capitalists profit off misery blah blah.  Victors dictating the terms should be happier.  Their lives would feel purposeful if they had a job to go to every weekday.

We have to defend the lack of interference that enabled success.  So, that’s why everyone is cranky.  The free market is nothing more than a series of offers you may accept or decline.  That’s really mean to the eternally oppressed.  But I still suspect it’s hard to rip off those who can take their cash or labor elsewhere.  People do have to compete, which is quite a downside for those without skills or opposed to exertion.  Business competition is reminiscent of those icky sports teams who recreate battle.  True social justice compassion lies in joining the audio/visual club.

Figuring the successful must’ve grifted is the key to a happy life.  People who have it stole it, according to well-adjusted folks who are very fun during social gatherings.  The actuality of receiving value for a trade is too fulfilling to those who think success consists of nothing more than hoarding by pirates.

A system where you’re free to offer what you have for what you’d like sounds idealistic in its hardworking way.  But it’s far easier to be handed goods.  Unfortunately, the confiscatory process softens the muscles and brains of recipients. Access to stuff is a moral right in failed states worldwide.

Students don’t need to be stupid.  I committed sundry unconscionable drunken acts on campus for which I’d apologize if I could track down the victims, but at least I never thought I needed a safe space from merchants.  Contemporary brats should open the textbooks bought by whoever padded their trust funds and at least try to grasp how much absolute damn misery the economic utopia they favor has caused.

Socialism means losing liberty, but at least everyone’s poor.  Let’s at least pretend we want the government to keep its grubby mitts off us.  Don’t want to be controlled?  Rejecting a system designed to irritate people into submission is a good start.

Ignorance isn’t as scary as sobering knowledge.  Capitalism’s enemies either don’t know what it is or think they can’t make it.  Opposing selfishness is easy for those who aren’t good at anything.  Instead, learn nothing more than to rage at anyone who notes freedom involves the right to work your ass off, not to keep it on the couch.  A lack of command means having to meet one’s own material needs, which is unacceptable to people who count on getting cash for birthdays to pay cell phone bills.

I’m really glad we spent so much of capitalism’s byproduct to defeat communism.  People who respect the pronoun “I” have spent a century or so standing up to the most pernicious affront to human dignity ever concocted.  No, it’s not having to negotiate overtime with your boss.  Attempts to collectivize individuals are why middle fingers were invented.

Don’t plan on earning for another dang term.  The ruinous schemes that have typified Obamanomics would be exacerbated under Premier Hillary or Comrade Bernie if intensity will make pain feel nice.  Fake capitalist Trump would try to bully the economy into shininess, with Trump Plaza-style results. The notion that your property is dangerous in your hands is as discredited as alchemy.  But don’t bother telling those who think wealth can be created out of idleness.

Forget trying to explain why you laugh at the notion that mandatory sharing embodies kindness, as those who use words like “xenophobia” sincerely are immune to irony.  The actual selfish people are socialists who demand access to what others earned.  There’s your plot twist.  There’s good news if you deal with misery by giggling. Unfortunately, rueful laughter doesn’t make trading any easier. Black market vendors don’t accept a knowing smirk as currency.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2015 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/604353.


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