Magic Money

Life is easy once you realize you can order things into being.  This ability is real and will never go away.  We just have to vote for enlightened representatives of humanity who believe strongly enough in the power of orders.  Going in a different direction won’t be an issue in any upcoming election because of the enlightened refusal to run anyone not committed to warping reality through bossiness.  It’s unsurprising that politicians who issue innumerable orders think they can bend the world’s will.  We’re just a bureaucrat’s rule away from car engines that run on good karma.  Don’t let the Kochs stop it.

Just give the economy some money to spend.  Don’t be silly and think it comes from nowhere: the semi-venture capital is taken from rich villains who don’t deserve it.  And you thought free money wasn’t funded.  Modern robber barons will just earn more by exploiting proles.  Selling goods and offering jobs is today’s equivalent of train robberies.

But maybe taxing has a negative effect at the source.  Remember to look shocked when the money flow becomes a trickle.  We know from experience class warfare doesn’t help the poor, but at least we can blow up the rich.  I’m sure egalitarian destruction can be just as satisfying.

Wars continue apace whether or not they involve much literal shooting. The recovery is on its way.  The previous sentence has waited to come true longer than any in our language.  Don’t think of the Barack Obama presidency as one where every day was spent enduring economic stagnation: there hasn’t been a moment without America waging war, either.  Except for both parts, we’ve had peace and prosperity.

The recovery takes time, claim those who still yearn to blame Bush. Great Pumpkin fans still wait for the magical multiplying effect.  It’d also be helpful if the debt clock starting rolling down.  Mathematics cruelly is unhelpful.  Have we tried sorcery?  Barack Obama swears by his spells, although he insists they don’t constitute a religion.

Humans who think faith breeds arrogance sure are committed to ending illness legally.  Mandatory insurance is a way of demanding everyone be healthy by law.  Those who look pale don’t want to be criminals in addition to being sick, as it’s hard for those too feeble to hold a shiv to get in a prison gang.  Hillary will never let you join no matter how many ballpoint pen needle tattoos you have.  It’s tough to retain the lesson that saying everyone has something differs from everyone having something.  Let’s go to college for free if we ever heal.

You buy my dinner.  I counted what’s in your wallet, and you can afford it.  I wouldn’t put you in a licentiously awkward position by expecting you’d ask me to accompany you to neck in the alley behind the restaurant as compensation.  We have the resources to care for everyone, note those who care for no one.  Mandatory divvying is the only way some can cope with their refusal to help voluntarily.  Everyone else is dragged in, then down.  The conscience compensation is as effective at changing minds as anything else done by force.

The whole reason we have enough to cover bills is because we’re not compelled to buy cellphones and cable for others.  Oops: that stuff belongs to persons, not people.  The rest of the party is entitled to what you made in elaborate fantasies where everything is up for grabs and everyone gets the same.  Earning is frowned upon except as a means to get it back to fund the collective.  Consider it punishment for the sin of promotion.

It’s fine to enjoy the magic act as long as you remember the tricks aren’t actually changing natural law.  Joe Biden’s still trying to pull quarters out of ears.  The phony wizardry embodies the worst sort of arrogance, namely that paired with ineptness.  The only real part is your money disappearing.

A frightening percentage of residents in these enlightened times can’t tell apart a good suggestion and order.  Even better, many of those are both permitted to vote and actually do so, presuming they don’t starve after getting lost on the way to polling places.  There’s zero evidence to faithfully assume government has not only the responsibility to monitor every detail but is skilled at it.  Yet some believe sight unseen.  Note them by their mockery of Christians.

The order to do something unpleasant is for your own good.  Good luck buying decent lightbulbs.  It’s not enough to use disease-laden canvas grocery bags or check the calories in the dinner bag of Doritos: Fairyand’s patrons have to impose such silly decisions on others.  They have just the magical leaders to force you.  Name a politician who you’d trust to feed your fish, much less supervise your money.  Like progress, they think their power comes from nowhere.

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