Party Value

We’re due for a market correction after some inappropriate interference.  That’s what we get for letting fools who think politicians trading favors with pet businessmen embodies capitalism access the kitty.  Trump won’t understand a return to normal trading because it has something to do with business that doesn’t involve bribing a politician to get permission.  Neither would wealth-loathing rich person Hillary, for that matter, but we expect that.

As the candidate of the erstwhile semi-capitalistic party, he’s the one who needs to be fixed. No, it’s not a threat, as I don’t want to be anything like this singularly unpleasant ogre who tells his wife he was only joking when he called her friends hot.

Many Republicans will suffer due to fish rotting from the golden-haired head.  Actual fans of this corpse of a campaign deserve to be tainted with stench. Anyone who thought the Vanilla Ice of presidential candidates would remain popular should be teased at every reunion.  But many poor saps are simply tainted by being in the same club, which is particularly contemptible considering they joined first.  Barging in and ruining the décor is just what we’d expect from a lusty eminent domain fan.

I dislike my club’s president.  Non-members are sure to appreciate the distinction.  In an era of instantaneous permanent branding, the perceived connection between the Tea Party and T. Party will be tough to dispel.  There are unnervingly large segments of voters who either think Ms. Clinton accomplished much by flying around the world burning under her watch or that slapping one’s name on a few golf courses and tacky office buildings amounts to a real estate empire.  Clarifying why you’re not like the coarse human carrot won’t take root no matter how many tweets you dedicate to the subject. The alt-right savior seems to have Tourette’s.

There’s a surprise ahead if you think it can’t get worse.  It’s hard to believe that First Amendment-loathing Trump will nominate Scalia clones to the Supreme Court seriously when he’s putting that other branch in kudzu’s path.  The death vine is totally helping it grow.

Tying hopes to a sugar-mouthed goon is too bad, as the GOP has done well in non-presidential elections despite what that ranting from your AM radio dial indicates. Yes, that’s an “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln…” distinction. But both legislative chambers have just barely stuck with the opposition.  Now, a buffoon who’s not conservative in any sense of the word will take out those who are. Oh, well.

Republicans have held up well in the face of a president who a disturbing percentage of cultists have concluded will be cool no matter how much cash and prestige he squanders.  It’s hard to measure what could have been worse.  But the lack of even a flimsy barrier would mean we’d endure more preposterous spending and incursions into our medical records. You could’ve been hassled more.  That’ll make you an optimist.

You know an election’s going well when the discussion’s over whether to lock the candidate out of the bomb shelter. Should we level everything and start over or band with survivors to press on after the Trump neutron bomb?  As for the weapon that destroyed its own chances, it’s not like Donald’s the type to care about collateral damage he inflicts.  But like blackjack dealers at Trump Plaza, Republicans running for Congress better be prepared for consequences of his assistance.

Brace to rebuild, as the chances of avoiding explosions disappeared months ago. Don’t think filling Dumpsters is going to be all unpleasant: think of how clean the ground will be once we’re done lifting.  We’ll be able to appreciate our huge biceps in buildings that arise from clearing the barren landscape.  Look to the country that was Trump’s original Pacific enemy. With apologies to China, Japan came first on Donald’s Asian contempt list.  Our former enemy got ahead, and all it took was creating a new society after we righteously flattened it.  All you have to ignore is unimaginable destruction of property and lives.  Trump is fond of nukes for personal reasons.  You can have voting for him accessing them on your conscience.

Getting better in the future means lots of pain now.  That’s the most positive message I’ve got about 2016.  Olympic training means agony in the pursuit of exertion expertise, which is why we enjoy cheering for people willing to swim so much.  The political burden we bear is psychological.  Start flinching about another Clinton presidency, especially when nominating anyone to face her other than an escaped mental patient with particularly bad manners would’ve meant she’d actually have to find a job.

Look on the bright side if you can think of one.  At least the Missus has none of her husband’s sleazy charisma.  Actually, the woman who proved you can marry your way to the top like a true feminist will help us out by being her regular charming self.  Someone who’s sure to be so unpleasant while being so inflexible isn’t going to salvage her presidency by compromising with politicians who have better ideas.  Her presidency is doomed.  All opponents must remember is it’ll be hard to make the case without being on record as telling Trump to sod off.  Have better commercial sense than him.

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