Party Soft

Don’t claim the Republican Party stands for nothing.  Falling for something counts.  More accurately, it’s someone.  A certain sign of a sound faith is knowing it’ll die along with the preacher.  It’s a good time to check what the GOP’s preferred courses of actions are since we’re out of drywall to punch.  You’ll be relieved to know they remain committed to whatever Donald Trump says that moment. The answers will change by sundown, so don’t save anything on a flash drive before dark.

The appalling parody of genuine conservative beliefs presently being peddled won’t stick long, so don’t enjoy while you can.  The temporary nature of the  dalliance with the opposite of hero worship doesn’t mean it’ll be easy to reestablish worthwhile convictions involving something other than worshipping an angry carrot.

It’s challenging to make an argument for a set of principles focused on human capacity for self-reliance through liberty.  So, just call everyone who disagrees with shoving a loser.  Intellectual cases are frowned upon in favor of a more impulsive approach.  Note how many House seats Democrats have lost during Barack Obama’s presidency, and you’ll be branded a counterrevolutionary insurgent who probably wears glasses.

Forget explaining the legal, moral, and practical reasons government exceeding authority is disastrous.  The noble case for natural rights has been brushed aside by an oaf who’s read fewer books than he’s pretended to write. He promises us guaranteed disaster in the most uncouth terms possible.  Those who conflate a lack of manners with honest virtue are the same ones who kept 2 Broke Girls on for this long.  They’re the same ones picking the direction of half the parties in a country founded upon freedom from centralized control.

Cavemen scientists have to bash their calculators with bigger rocks in order to refine results.  It’s weird how other countries don’t seem to respect us now even after we treated open trade as a bourgeoisie decadence.  Competing with delusional optimism is always a challenge.  Explain why free college will be very expensive if you’d like to be told you oppose education.  Some poor souls will never learn how economics work no matter how many credits they take.

The worst part of a 50 percent extension to communal woe is how bad the new salesman is at conning citizens into thinking it’s good for them. Hillary certainly can’t match her spouse’s unctuous charm or her last boss’s messianic arrogance. Selling subjugation takes a delicate touch and ability.  Like her foe, Mrs. Clinton has the desire to deceive but not the ability.   You try not starving when your only skill is accepting bribes.

Weak autocrats are an exhausting feature of contemporary politics not predicted by the Founders.  Hillary’s brutally lame attempts to mirror nonsensical hope don’t resonate.  But they don’t have to when the alternative is affected rage. Anger at tribal dissent is way better than retirement accounts where workers could actually earn interest.

Trying to conduct a debate with someone who keeps swinging at you is not conducive to republican progress.  The combativeness is only virtual, of course.  Fake tough guys are the premier leaders’s most genuine supporters.  Those with thin cases try insults.  Tweet how a plurality of Republican primary voters handed the judicial nomination process to the Clintons if you’d like to hear some.  Trump’s never won a fight in his life, and he’s not about to start now.

Actual conservatives are now derided as moderates because they’re not nationalistic enough.  Somehow, government’s not getting limited. What’s maddening is how receptive voters have been to the notion they should get to retain what’s earned.  Republicans have made massive gains in both legislative chambers, governors’ mansions, and state representatives since a prissy bully took the White House.  But patience isn’t the Breitbart Reich’s specialty.  Opting for a quick-fix strongman who’ll break everything is its own reward.

If blowing up stuff seems immature, at least those who revel in it won’t get to enjoy the hobby.  Soon, we’ll actually get to level the Republican infrastructure and build a non-Trump Tower.  The fake do-over necessitated a real one.  Politics can be fun like that sometimes.  Demolition will be fun even for grownups.  And, unlike present garbage blaze, a teardown to the foundation will be for a purpose: the logical course at this point is destroying every structure in sight, and not just by sticking gaudy pink marble on it. When goons have ransacked your village only to be crushed by a weak neighboring chieftain, taking glee in burning down structures is a sign of maturity.

Adults will have to finish the premature, unnecessary, and half-assed job begun by Trump.  That’s nothing new for him.  Letting it burn will this time mean a more efficient blaze that’ll actually clear out dangerous brush.  Now, there’s an actual need for cleansing fire. Poor saps who think a reality TV host has ever given the Supreme Court a thought struggle to appreciate irony.  Don’t let them immolate anything, as they deserve to watch from the sideline for their bogus torching.

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