Honest Bull

Frankness in 2016 isn’t a rare a virtue as claimed.  It’s just that truthfulness involves the lusty quest to run our lives.  Enjoy small victories.  The most straightforward option is not who you think. Actually, you wouldn’t think it’s anyone, given the contest’s Devil versus Lucifer vibe.  By default and in her sick way, the more strident one can be trusted.  Accuracy is not measured in the Politifact way where liberal opinion grades as factual but in sort-of admitting how much she’d like to rob you.  In this most contemptible of years, veracity on hideousness serves as a paragon.

Hillary’s actually stating genuine beliefs in her grotesque way.  She’s indeed a trailblazer.  The third Clinton term will be about striving to get more power over you.  Yes, you personally.  Sure, her lust to take out frustrations about an unfaithful marriage and other mean boys has been focus-grouped into oblivion.  But her carefully-constructed “We’re all in this together”-style frightening bromides all feature a genuine endorsement of statism. She’ll be the one benevolently guiding us to unimaginable wealth where women are never denied jobs just because of failing to possess useful skills.  Such forthrightness is refreshing.

Sure, you have to scrutinize every speech and tweet from Mrs. Clinton to uncover she’s out to communalize what was yours.  But that’s just how she tricks you into paying attention.  And you thought she wasn’t a natural politician.  Explaining just how taxing success will create more of it is not her interest.  Instead, she focuses on calculatingly explaining why tyranny is cooperative.  Whatever shady words she utters, they’re easily understood by anyone with a leftist decoder ring.  Voters just have to notice, which is the problem that explains how she got to this cusp.  Monitor her blinking for subtext.

Only this election could make Hillary seem like the honest one.  Contrary to his own claims, Donald Trump isn’t honest any more than he’s good at keeping casinos open.  I’m wondering if anything else he said might be an empty boast.  A guy with zero conservative inclinations and no interest in political philosophy might be a bit casual with facts, if you can believe it.

Despite professing the opposite, Trump’s nothing more than another lying politician.  He’s just obnoxious about it.  While, say, Hillary got minions to shamefully whisper the incumbent was born abroad, Donald shouted it.  That coarseness is refreshing.  A life dedicated to bluffing only works if targets are too gullible to call.  Please let those who think carnival midways are the cheapest way to acquire Def Leppard mirrors keep playing.

Boisterousness is the key to sales if obvious lies are the product.  Simply convince enough marks that anyone that crass must at least be honest to succeed at being the infomercial candidate.  Trump is just more dedicated to relieving you of the burden of spending.  A Republican willing to betray his claim he’ll lower government’s influence isn’t quite novel.  The failed bottled water titan is exactly what he claims to stand against: he’s only clumsy at it. His fans would appreciate the irony of their beloved being worse than the sober options they condemned if they understood it.

The biggest misconception in a year revolving around them is that Trump is honest.  The same confused suckers who think he’s entertaining and funny concluded he must be honest simply because he’s unscripted, to phrase it nicely.  But the lack of written words just means he can run his mouth, which is easier than running a university or airline. Telling whatever whoever he’s speaking to wants to hear is a strange take on candor.  Of course, this is the same faux mogul who did everything he could to befriend his foe.  The Democratic suck-up is touted as the only way to prevent five justices from making abortion mandatory.

Isn’t certainty fun?  Well, that’s not always accurate.  Take how consistency is overrated if you’re getting jabbed with an ice pick every four minutes or watching a Girls marathon.  On that note, both hopeless hopefuls will use federal power to tell you firmly about what decisions you should be making, so there’s your bipartisanship.

The only race left is who’s better at fibbing about letting you keep a few bucks.  Trump’s crude aping of conservative positions means he’s second in a two-person race, which he better start appreciating. Enjoy an election so bad that the Clinton is in her way more honest. Lying loudly is confused for honesty if everyone seems crabby and squinty.  People not grasping the scale of mendacity is this election’s signature trend.  It’s the truth.

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