We the Baffled People

Election results reflect on us.  Yikes. We really are pathetic.  I’d join a species from another galaxy, but they’ve been shrewd enough to avoid a planet where the declining preeminent power chooses among these two.  Our rotten year has been a boon for misanthropes who needed their belief system confirmed. Those who can’t muster hate for mankind must have pleasant days, although I’d feel ignorant if I never read any news story under any circumstances.

I’m applying to live with the monkeys, as something is fundamentally wrong with our species.  After all, a contest which makes us beg Elon Musk for a chance to escape to a different planet is an indication of where we are as a race.  The worst part of democracy is finding someone to blame, although many manage to shift responsibility.  It must’ve been your crummy vote that ruined the economy, jerk.

If anyone’s tired of psychological assessments applied to every campaign move, our society should stop hoisting such obvious distress flags. Trump has the edge when it comes to understanding compensating for inadequacy, although he only tops the astoundingly needy Hillary because it’s his most special skill. If elections were decided Mortal Kombat-style, bragging about failures would be his finishing move.

Someone who runs his mouth to distract from shuttered casinos faces a woman who’s never earned an honest buck and lusts to punish everyone who has.  This is not an election for the scrapbook, presuming we can even find it under whatever wobbly table leg in the National Archives it’s been stuck.  We should never bring this race to the bottom back to mind because of what it says about citizens of a nation where it can happen.  What does a tendency to boast about what one hasn’t achieved say about those represented?  I’m sure it’s something nice.  As a reminder, our next head of state will be one of these two fiends.

Turning to politicians to make up for grievances with the universe only exacerbates toughness.  Don’t worry: I’m sure the next election will change everything.  Infatuations with inadequate leaders are a coping mechanism with the universe’s vagaries.  Alcohol is healthier.  Blaming someone else is a tacit admission of failure to cope with challenges.

Anyone who places faith in this dreadful government staffed by these atrocious employees is scared of free markets.  Protection is still not forthcoming even if you select properly.  If you’d rather trust, say, Elizabeth Warren to distribute trinkets fairly than negotiate on your own, you’ve declared free will as an enemy.  To be consistent, please don’t vote.

The government’s in charge, and who are we to disagree?  It certainly seems to know what it’s doing.  Questioning authority will just anger an entity that’s trying to make decisions for us.  “Stronger together” is as completely non-creepy as “I am your voice,” which is why we’re sure to again be in benevolent hands by January. A mean world where productivity is rewarded and trades are only regulated by mutual satisfaction through negotiation is simply unacceptable to modern progressive man.  Turning to control is a means of coping with a lack of confidence.

Public service fans struggle in private.  Nobody likes politics aside from a sliver of arrogant masochists who’d fail at selling bongs outside an Allman Brothers concert.  But that’s precisely why it’s important to pay attention to this blasted process, as those pompous twerps who both know the Health and Human Services budget and think it’s not enough will dash off with power otherwise.  Follow just closely enough so your government doesn’t follow you.  The only cure for nausea is building up tolerance.

This is who represents us.  Shame is normal.  Delegating authority to the sort of people slipping through the screening process is another reason why humans should be for personal responsibility.  I certainly don’t want my particular congressman or senators standing in my place.  They’re the sorts who’d cut in line and blame me.

The present devotion to preferred candidates would put Jonestown residents to shame.  Minions are begging to be left off the hook. Idolizing politicians reflects a desire to shift away liberty in favor of the security provided by others arranging your transactions. America’s an assisted-living facility where we’d like to think we’re as spry as those scheduling bingo.

The president must be awesome, as the person stands in for us.  Look at the incumbent and two potential replacements for endless evidence why that’s the worst idea since booking a room at Trump Taj Mahal. People should know better.  But the same people like to pretend there’s something easier.


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