Liberal Use of Republicans

The conservative stereotype goes beyond selling orphans’ insulin to buy more ammunition to hunt endangered animals for sport.  It’s not merely untrue: we only help animals go extinct because we harvest them for tasty jerky.  But the most persistent lazy charge is the most vexing.  The quest for a government that’s 10 times smaller and a thousand times less stupid isn’t synonymous with one party.  It’s not all Republicans, in the popular formulation of our time.  It’s sad what’s unpopular.

The Party of Lincoln once seemed interested in free will.  But that profoundly simply notion is as far in the past as Reagan bitch-slapping Mondale, as seen from the creepy platform to the attitude toward those uncomfortable with the new bossy direction.  In addition to threatening levies against any company that tries to leave, the new GOP figurehead should try to punish party members who hop the New Berlin Wall.  I’m sure more won’t try to escape. There’s no reason to remain aligned with a faction doing Democratic bidding, especially if it’s done this boorishly.

There’s a rather unappealing tradition of Republicans who do everything their opponents want and get despised by same large-government enthusiasts. They may as well tick off perpetually indignant liberals for the right reasons, especially since that’d feature Americans not being harassed over profitability.  The tendency has only gotten worse under the clueless goon who boasted he’d fix it.  Liberals secretly despise Donald Trump because his eagerness to rule the economy while punishing financial dissenters sounds too much like something for which they’d vote if the candidate’s name were removed.

Many Republican presidents and contenders have been despised by the left for demonstrating the injurious effects of federal manipulation. Take the common misperception of Richard “Dickard” Nixon as a conservative, which is odd for the president who brought us the EPA, sucking up to China, wage and price controls, and racial preferences.  To be fair, he did like the nation, which is offensive to those who hurl a word like “imperialism” without irony.

Previously, Herbert Hoover’s affinity for spending money that wasn’t his would spur Obama to admire everything but for the “R.”  The grabby precedent has been repeated by a variety of disappointing Republican presidential hopefuls who we wish did everything of which they were accused by liberals who think deregulation leads to sales of poisoned baby food.  Nothing ensures further sales like ripping off customers.  Ask Hillary, who ensured she didn’t profit so impurely by instead selling favors.

Note how much of a spending spike Trump demands while leaving his name out to see Clinton fans amusingly nod in agreement.  Most purportedly conservative candidates have given liberals something to complain about even as they agree. Self-examination would help all involved.  That’s unlikely to happen given the solipsism of both the Republican nominee and his Democratic haters.  Those controlled by narcissism would never even think to seek help.

It’s easy to conflate a party with ideology because we want it to be so.  Humans yearn for patterns to make sense out of a meaningless universe.  That’s why we hope to think each party stands for a certain standard of beliefs, especially in these oh so subtle times.  But peace of mind is as desirable as it is unobtainable.  We know this world to be as confusing as it is stupid, which is why seeing the one semi-hope for less interference evaporate is disappointing yet unsurprising.

Advertisement relies on changing perception through repetition, so keep emphasizing how Trump doesn’t represent you any more than David Berkowitz represents all postal workers.  His letters were more hostile than the candidate’s tweets, barely.  All we can do for now is attempt to buy back our shares while correcting the record of anyone who claims taxing companies for leaving embodies free markets. Fight back against bureaucratic insiders by nominating a clueless outsider who’d define himself as a statist if he were capable of honesty or introspection.

We’re supposed to accept autocratic intimidator Donald Trump as one of ours because he acquired a party that once featured Calvin Coolidge.  It’s one of the few successful takeovers he’s ever managed.  I have the feeling the stock price is about to crash, so he better bank whatever ego boost is floating now.

Good luck explaining to him why redundant infrastructure spending, insane trade wars with economic allies, and the government deciding you need child care by law aren’t small-government programs.  It’s probably too late to start learning, what with the candidate being 70 and the election in moments.  But whippersnappers can retain the lesson to avoid future scaldings.

Less pain is sort-of closer to happiness. Take what you can get when the only distraction from the mudslide is the earth quaking. The liberating sensation of not being handcuffed in the prison bus will have to suffice as enjoyment. We’re not about to experience the glories of being left without a sitter.  The nanny state will ensure you’re in bed by 8 after you enjoy your dessert carrots.  But you won’t have requested another dose, and that’s a slight but meaningful distinction.  Take comfort in knowing there is nothing in which to take comfort.  That counts as relief for now.

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