We’ve got the president-elect who’s least qualified to gloat, not to mention serve. Everything will remain just as fantastic as it is now. You’ve been enjoying circumstances, right? I don’t want to think about the man who’s going to be in our face for a term, so I’d instead like to point fingers for a bit. That may seem immature, but it’s what the loser prefers. Help her cope by copying her inimitable style.
There will be endless painful hours later to dismantle what is sure to be another fun-filled term of an inept dolt proving the government he’s praised shouldn’t be entrusted to people like him. The present president spent two terms selling timeshares that are illegal to not buy. Any adult running to replace him should have been able to note that simply lowering preposterous spending would help. Naturally, we missed out. The guy who pledged rather active governance beat the lady who was certain she was the second-worst option possible.
The disappointment’s been here for months. Getting used to is hasn’t been the relief we hoped. Instead of wincing every time Mitt Romney doesn’t win a state he needed, we already knew the guy to his left and deep in the gutter was a troublesome option even if he stumbled into victory. Sweating orange toxic waste means widespread radioactivity. The guy who’s atrocious at business despite a lifetime of boasting he’s awesome at it pulled it off. Yell at customers who notice service sucks.
Expect the man who will never not have been a Republican president to avoid personal responsibility for what’s next. He’s not about to stop being a liberal now. Remind any of his fans gloating too much that their business sense is as warped as his. Teasing those who indulged Trump is as fun as doing the same to those who aren’t as happy as you’d think about a country they think is racist ending. The wannabe tyrant gets to see if he can unilaterally dominate us like he’s declared. Fulfilled fantasies can be a curse.
The worst campaign we’ll hopefully ever live through is over, but at least we have memories to cherish. The guy who finally thrived at selling anger and façades possesses a familiar and hopefully unrequited lust for bypassing Congress. Americans should still brace for lame attempts to bully individuals and corporations merely out to do business.
Profound ignorance of process is his best excuse. Trump’s proposals to put government in force remain egregious on a level that secretly impressed Hillary, not to mention that autocratic deviancy will be preposterously linked to free-market conservatism. We’re bleeding a lot for someone who dodged a bullet.
Anyone who doesn’t find this funny is the joke’s butt. We use laughter to conceal the sense the Hindenburg is plummeting right when we notice the hydrogen-y smell. Those who washed their hands of an election starring a germaphobe aren’t feeling particularly hopeful. We’re laughing at anyone who thinks the impossible happening makes it good.
Trump fans should brace to rue getting everything they wanted. All winning took was laying waste to the party that’s supposed to defend liberty. Tantrum enthusiasts lucked out thanks to facing the worst candidate in all history. Hillary’s historic in her way.
There has to be a different way to beat despair. We waited for ages with dread that we hope would dissipate. But we didn’t want it to end with the election. A months-long march didn’t end with a trip to the Magic Kingdom. The only way to cope is to mock everything. Sneering is actually the adult option when brats have commandeered both parties. Conservatism’s about laughing as doom approaches. We could have done without so much material.
Don’t fret, as it can get worse. We’re getting a pushy executive attached to an “R.” Liberals will unfairly and incessantly conflate a nationalist creep who only doesn’t look like a statist compared to Hillary with themes from Ayn Rand novels. Professional blamers can assign ensuing statist disasters to people who dare want less debt.
Tweakers blame teeth falling out on toothbrushes. Trump will have to blame everything else on a new level. He’s facing a new kind of rigged system. A guy with no clue and the instinct to bully either resists conservatives or goes along, the latter of which doesn’t conform with his persona. But he’s genuine, right? Running on a lark to satisfy ego was supposed to be a joke. It’s sort-of funny, as long as we’re just watching.