The Numbers Are In

The five wisest humans are Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga.  This is indisputable.  Science confirms high fan numbers mean lots of people like something, and that solid confirmation in turn means the most arrogant and thus best among us are our most worthwhile examples.  Let the Intergalactic Council know we have selected paragons as Earth’s embodying representatives.  Now that’s girl power.

Our species is renowned for valuing wisdom above all.  Twitter follower quantities are thus the best way to establish self-worth.  There’s literally a count of how many others are willing to listen to you, and this is an era for tangibility.  Do not argue with statistics unless you’d like to be defeated by a cold, hard number.  A high percentage of us couldn’t possibly have atrocious inclinations.

But what if quality is unrelated to popularity?  The notion that a lot of people could be wrong seems dangerous.  Popular tastes reflect the fat part of the bell curve.  Trust humans to make their own decisions while never trusting that they’ll be anything less than tasteless.

Set aside what we can learn about a culture that adulates the most vapid ladies imaginable.  The disturbing lack of talent among pompous dolts who can launch a fashion line of hideously revealing threads with a single tweet reminds us that trendy doesn’t necessarily equal good. Remember what your mom told you about the mean kids in junior high who said you’d never be cool unless you liked Vanilla Ice.  The savage dullards are undoubtedly still wearing Skidz pants, as classics never go out of style.

Principles remain the same no matter how many people like them.  The willingness to see through standards even if it means exclusion is what the social media horde still doesn’t get about never Trump.  Nothing proves the inanity of fame like the 2 Broke Girls of candidates having millions of followers, many of whom were actual humans enthusiastic about his petty, dim, insulting, lame, and utterly humorless remarks. It was bad enough when he was embarrassing himself, not the party or nation.  Take a bet for someone to find a good idea in a Trump tweet stated cleverly.  When you collect, you’ll have more liquid wealth than him.

Get more in order to get even more.  The poor parody of capitalism and masculinity remains obsessed with winning for the sake of it.  Why is he a success?  It’s because he’s successful.  With such solid reasoning, it’s little wonder he was able to beat a corrupt grandma. You may be shocked to learn how hollow his claims are.  Having to deal with presidential problems won’t will deter Donald Trump, much less instill modesty.  The belief that popularity in and of itself is a virtue worked out really well.  He’s not going to feel humiliated just because he’s only the second-worst candidate ever.  But his faux party should.

Sean Hannity claims foes of his unwittingly parodic ranting are motivated by finances as he brags about ratings, and who wouldn’t want to be aligned with such a prominent intellectual?  The rejection of ideals is its own punishment.  A guy who claimed that winning was central to his personality somehow pulled it off without advancing a worthwhile cause.  To be fair, he does have a lot of followers.  So does something called Harry Styles.

The difference between what’s read and what deserves to be sums up this dreadful year.  Go ahead and mock National Review and the Weekly Standard because their circulations aren’t as high as, say, People. They dare exhibit values that didn’t change even in an era where standing up for personal autonomy is as unpopular as Charlie Sheen at an orgy.  Worshiping a particularly hateful individual instead was an atrocious idea that wasn’t fun at the time.  But at least all those eggheads who believe pointless infrastructure spending funded by confiscating treasure from taxpayers doesn’t make America great learned their lesson.

The relatively small number of clicks dedicated to essays arguing for human liberty through obeying the Constitution is a reflection of the clickers.  And, unlike the unwittingly satirical rag Trump Magazine, the conservative magazines in question are still published.  Voters didn’t care much about results.

Instead of mocking theorists, flabby goons should exercise their brains and ponder what it says when circulations of periodicals with worthwhile standards aren’t higher.  Consumers should feel shame.  We hope that free markets mean the best products win out.  But that judgment is subjective, seen by how they’re still making those damn Transformers movies.  Wrecking my childhood toy memories is par for this era.

The brute who excelled at bringing out nastiness among those aligned with him gets to be the executive.  A fad may not be wise, in case anyone didn’t learn by junior high.  There’s still the sticky problem of the president-elect adhering to appalling ideas when he put forth any at all.  Conservatives hope a cur doesn’t ruin the Republican Party like it was one of his businesses.  If you’re going to sell your soul, make sure the check doesn’t bounce.

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