Intramural Arguing

President Trump doesn’t just remain a remarkable thing to type.  If the shock ever wears off, brace for the actuality that he may not be conservative.  I know!  In fact, the moments when he’s sensible will feel like a national holiday.  Adjust to a different type of optimism.  Sensing things will suck and preparing to deal is the mature response by those ducking between the posturing White House and slackers howling outside while smashing windows.  We’re just trying to pass by.

Embrace how it’s liberating to feel no instinct for defending a politician. Challenge Trump just for the sake of irritating him.  But it gets even better than that.  There will ample substantive criticisms to hurl at someone who boasts of having no depth.  Seeming wildness obeys patterns if you watch long enough.  A circuit this simple will restore any observer’s confidence after the most unpredictable election of our time.

This joker is not as wild as you’d think. Trump will propose all kinds of liberal things as reliably as he’s involved with bankruptcy.  The beginner’s lust for redundant spending he preposterously classifies as infrastructure is only exceeded by his taste for ladies from Europe’s erstwhile commie hellholes.  Citizens minding their own business will continue to be hassled, so don’t worry about changing your routine.

The golden cloak of conservatism is only spray-painted cardboard.  Resist the next president out of more than habit.  Hold your own party accountable unless you want to be as hideously shameless as the other one.  Smirking at authority is more fun, anyway, as it means getting to holler at politicians instead of lauding them.  Worshiping someone for getting more electoral votes is the reason we have same system.  You’re in for a long term if you can’t mock a president who’s begging to be teased.

Resistance is easier now that an escaped mental patient stole our logo and stapled it to a newspaper hat.  Someone who can’t even feign respectability is a nice alternative from the establishment.  Manners are for squares.  The good news is that there are no more principles to betray. Instead of spineless Republicans, start off with a guy who doesn’t believe a thing except for his own greatness.  The refusal to fake principles isn’t as refreshing as advertised.

We know what we’re getting.  America the reality show won’t be as heavenly or hellish as dueling cults claim, but expect much puffery in lieu of results. Contrary to curious rubes who think the next guy is a cipher, Trump has a decades-long trail of tendencies upon which to base reasonable predictions.  Remember to account for how he may be overwhelmed on top of boasting about getting away with anything he feels.

Bullies hate being punched back, so never do that with their feelings in mind.  Just kidding: complete the character arc and make the film exciting by retaining lunch money with a dramatic uppercut.  Trump isn’t used to such insolence, so this mutual growing experience will help us both become stronger.  The important thing is him not getting what he wants.  That goal’s easier since he doesn’t know what it is, aside from modestly acquiring more power and acclaim.

Circumstances may not be so bad as long as we remember to be irritated all the time.  We get a buffoon who either does what conservatives want or gets a primary challenge after voters see how he does from opponents who know what to expect.  That’s how to inadvertently get power to the people.

Beliefs remain the same even as the cast rotates.  One person doesn’t define a political movement, especially not this person.  Trump’s famously independent fans surely won’t just think whatever he spews is amazing.  Just in case, be ready to criticize if he forgets he’s supposed to hate socialized medicine now.

You could be gentle when noting Trump has no idea, but the mouthy fellow with the smirking mouth and eyes would disapprove.  The president has spent his whole life avoiding being called on his bluffs.  It did get him to the top, which is a complaint we should take up with the universe.

Americans may feel too nervous to kvetch, as our president now has nowhere to hide.  It was one thing when only his chintzy empire was at risk. Those who love this nation hope everyone but his Sea Org is wrong. There’s good news if he was actually skilled all along.  Let’s strive for mutual benefits: the president can pretend he’s in charge while we pretend he’s suitable.  It can’t be that hard to fake.


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