Incorrect for the Wrong Reasons

Historians argue over whether the Titanic or Hindenburg captain was more adept at navigation.  Give the professional nerds enough mead, and it may be settled with a duel.  Like the economy, cheering isn’t a zero-sum game.  We don’t have to take sides, unless hating both sides counts. That takes us to present pleasant times.  Disliking one bad option doesn’t mean joining with all those who agree.  Mock everyone for consistency.

You can disagree with both.  That oh so subtle position means teasing everyone.  Let’s keep on schedule.  Alternate for variety between mocking liberals and conservatives who think Trump embodies their values. The confusing nature of contemporary events distracts from how stupid they are.  Just remember that everyone is against you deciding with your money which businesses should thrive.  It’s easier to stay alert when everyone is a potential pickpocket.

It’s hard to make money when you don’t know how, which is why most politicians needed to run for office in order to buy groceries. Let’s review once again something that should’ve been learned on civilization’s first day.  Good companies should be able to find voluntary investors, who in turn possess ample resources because they’re not being looted by messianic office-fillers ludicrously claiming to help.  Taking money from the economy to help it seems like it features a catch.

The president’s going to be involved with commerce, and usual fans of such silliness will stand opposed out of personality conflict.  Brace for a term where anything where a business gets a benefit from a politician funded by taxpayers is risibly framed as conservatism. Some alleged conservatives hear nothing but the word “business” and think the free market is rolling. Meanwhile, big-government enthusiasts can admit they think allowing humans to trade as they see fit is a failure.  They’re just like Trump!  Alternately, they can join the Ayn Rand Book Club in opposition to the James Taggart presidency.  Help them sound out the big words.

Liberals complain about liberal policies because they enjoy entertaining us whether they realize it or not.  We have to cope any way we can, especially since present circumstances somehow end up making it harder to elect conservatives.  Somehow, we’ll get blamed when the economy remains stagnant due to continued massive looted spending.  The Party of Reagan couldn’t have possibly changed, so it must be our fault.

The difference between parties and philosophies has never been starker. It’d be nice without the exceptions.  Politics are much easier if “Republican” and “conservative” were synonyms.  But they’re as related as “Anthony” and “sobriety.”  Those wise enough not to pay attention to elected officials naturally think each side attracts those with certain beliefs.  But both parties are stocked with fans of governing your life.  Changes come quickly.  Times Square isn’t the preeminent hive for debauchery any longer, which is why I’m banned from the Disney Store.

A practical example can help teach Democrats about allies of opportunity.  There may as well be some value to our suffering. Those who were with her happen to despise Trump.  But one must hate the orangey idol for the right reasons.

Calling any random Republican a sexist racist homophobe is the traditional progressive rational manner of offering constructive criticism. Sure, the 45th president is much higher if the men were ranked as scumbags and not sequentially.  But his unpleasantness is secondary to his lust to dominate.  Liberals should know the impact of calling everyone who believes in lower taxes Satan O’Hitler has diminished the charge.  Maybe treating those out to obey the Constitution as demons weakens the case against actual nefarious forces.  But who am I to tell another party how to conduct their business?

It’d be more amusing how often Trump’s beliefs coincide with his shriller critics if they weren’t both getting the unfortunate policies they want.  Democrats dislike Pepsi if it’s served in a Coke can.  The ostensible Republican is a sad caricature of enterprise that actually embodies persistent meddling.  They don’t appreciate our smirks as we explain.

Trump has promised to use power for granting special deals just like the ones he negotiated with politicians.  Hmmm, what political movement does that represent?  Give liberals 24 hours to decide if they’re going to abandon their silly collectivist notions or become bipartisan by praising Donald Trump, their ideological partner.  It’s not trolling if it’s true.

Flame war patrons may as well enjoy the unique position of not caring for the boss or his critics.  Everyone else could be wrong, which is this futuristic era’s most valuable lesson.  Misanthropy is a good general policy.  In this instance, there are specifically fine reasons to hate all.

Arguing for New Terms

Call me closed-minded.  Do so even more than usual.  But I don’t want to know anyone who’s into politics.  That’s true if I happened to be dropped in at any point on humanity’s timeline, and merely especially so with the contemporary taste for vigorous submission in mind.  I only follow the day’s events because I hate them so and wish to minimize their impact.  Selflessly, I want you left the hell alone, as well.

I know I’m supposed to be into learning about the other side.  But I’ve learned enough.  Man, they’re a bunch of freaks.  Do they really think government knows what it’s doing?  I suppose we could discuss sports unless they’re Patriots fans.  It’s tough finding any allies in an era of competition for which side’s generalissimo is more worth venerating.  Where can the person not into mandatory quadruple-tithing to the state church hide while ditching Mass?

The only thing more obvious than the need for Better Call Saul to be on again soon is how urgently America needs a political reset.  Let’s draw lines again so we know which side to hate.  The thorough lack of respect for boundaries led to present dreary conditions, as the debt’s going up in exchange for nothing regardless of which party wins.  The Super Bowl would be less fun as an intra-team scrimmage. When the same side is playing in politics, it downright sucks.  Good dip won’t save your party.

Unlike liberals, our violent fantasies are about committing figurative atrocities against federal agencies, not political foes.  They’re so into gun control because they don’t trust themselves.  Regardless, we merely wish to chop the government off at the knees, which’ll make it easier to take a couple inches off the scalp.  I just want a system weak enough that the president’s tweets won’t affect our lives.

There really are freaks who noticed Washington is bad at everything and should get less money.  The fact that the stance exists should not be novel in a nation founded on the principle of telling a king to cram it.  Have you read this so-called Constitution?  It has all these crazy limits on power as if we’re supposed to be free to live on our terms.  The side interested in expansive interpretation appeals to those who arrived on Earth today.  There’ll be a new preposterous overreach by dawn.

There really are two options.  But half of those often fail to be offered. Naturally, it’s the wrong one. Barack Obama’s eight-year experiment has proved that he’s a dolt about everything.  He’s a success at showing what fails unless he really believes those facile theories.  For the side that tugs on their lab coats while making a show out of liking science, they sure ignore results.

You’re free to believe that a government that earns nothing will respectfully spend what you did.  You can also believe Cleveland’s next first overall pick will be the one that turns the Browns’ fortunes.  Either way, it’d be nice to be able to choose a party that doesn’t treat the Constitution as a cult pact.

Electing for autonomy enables choices in daily life.  The feds’ role in our lives should be to have no role in our lives.  Pave, try, imprison, and defend.  We’ll address the rest.  Let us eat Nutella straight from the jar with no caloric information visible as is our damn right as humans.  The last thing our species needs is assistance at ruining our lives.  That’s what bourbon and Twitter are for.

The argument for shrinking Washington’s footprint has been lost, which means the real loser is everyone.  Losing 50 pounds is overwhelming when the first one just won’t burn off no matter how much energy we burn walking to the fridge.  The default political setting should be to think that freezing federal spending for five years would mean it’s still preposterously over budget in 2022.

But noting a properly-constrained government would also work better is for us particularly oppressive ghouls.  We’ll still be branded hateful racists who want the indigent to croak for profit.  How exactly are we profiting off death, and when do I get my direct deposits?  Either way, we’d be free to live as we please, and not in the sense of liberation through having small-business owners taxed into bankruptcy so we don’t have to pay bills.

At least one part of the fair and balanced argument should feature a case for reduction.  Instead, the debate has become over who is better at ordering compliance.  The argument is only so fevered because each side is angling for extra ration packets.  Learning how much you’re going to be screwed for the privilege of living in what’s ostensibly the freest country is fantastically uninteresting.  On the plus side, it’s liberating to skip cable news.  I can burn through sitcoms on the DVR instead.  How does it hold so many VCR tapes?

Executive Cursing

I’d feel better if a president for whom I voted took the oath.  But Alice Cooper didn’t win.  So I’m going to be an adult about it and tease the jerk who will somehow represent us to the world until he feels like quitting.  I’m sticking to it until the job’s done as a sign of maturity. Call it bullying, but I’m just trying to say what I think.  That’s cool now, right?  Fighting political correctness is a goal embraced by Donald Trump, that doltish horse’s ass.

It’d be great to cheer for a team in the Super Bowl.  But I’m a Bills fan. So, I settle for plundering dip while cheering against both competitors.  Short of a seemingly unreachable title, detached mockery of anyone involved is the only entertainment available. Maybe those involved will smash into each other good.  So that’s why people compare football to politics.

Save frenzied reactions for what’s truly important, namely men running about chasing a ball.  Your team should be your life.  And that means the NFL, not GOP.  Take down your political party pennants to enable a sneering mentality.  It may seem abrasive to boo an inauguration. But knocking down leaders a peg from day one is how we hold them accountable.  You wouldn’t neglect your constitutional responsibility, would you?

Disaster could be fun as long as our names aren’t connected. I would feel compelled to defend someone for whom I voted, so I’m liberated from that particular burden.  Teasing is coping.  Of course, good things could happen, too, just like I could start triathlon training first thing tomorrow morning instead of looking for ibuprofen.  I’m willing to praise when necessary.  I’m also willing to admit when Saturday Night Live is funny.  I just don’t expect it to happen this century.

If there’s a better way to brace for impact, now’s the time to share. Did anyone pay attention to the flight attendant?  Ideological damage doesn’t crack bones but leaves deeper wounds.  Prepare to plummet with a frustrating president who makes George W. Bush look like William F. Buckley by comparison.

We’ve been guilty of impure thoughts before.  Many Republicans defended the last president of the same allegiance as he made silly forays into wasteful meddling.  To be fair, he was waging a war for something bigger than tax credits.  Some were willing to give him a pass considering how he was commander-in-chief during a war to preserve civilization.  Also, he wasn’t a mouthy braggart making it up as he went along.  There are worse things than being an ideologue.  But don’t let the president from the party that was once affiliated with not getting hectored get away with spending on your behalf again.

Life without sides is a blast except for how we’re included in the score. Presuming the president is going to lie to you as he steals your goods is a good principle to apply no matter who won.  It’s just been especially so for what will now be a few terms in a row.  The only downside is how the teams get to take charge.  Sure, the nation is doomed to endure an ironic lack of winning.  Both manipulative conglomerate owners and global villains are about to teach an alleged businessman how incentives work.  I hate to gloat.  But I hate those who ignored 7,300 detour signs along the highway’s shadow even more.

Step back for sanity.  Excessive devotion to an executive is a symptom of liberalism.  Admiring any president reflects at least a partial fondness for government, and you should hate it to the utmost.  At least feel suspicious every time he’s on the news.  He’s going to provide endless material to mock.  Watching without laughing is like being scared at Young Frankenstein.

At the least, relax.  Republicans shouldn’t feel obligated to defend even if he got their votes any more than he’s stuck to marriage vows. Worship is for church or football.  This particular fellow deserves scorn in inverse proportion to the intensity of his golden sucker brigade.  I hate to be a pessimistic Pete, but this president is going to provide endless chances to criticize him for being a very ordinary man in a special job.

Being a little meaner to Trump is the one thing in his life he earned. Without deserving it, he’ll be part of a fine tradition of citizens holding every president in contempt.  As an American, you should mouth off about whoever’s in charge as a matter of habit.  Add swear words if you voted for him to keep him accountable.

A scowl toward the man at the top is actually respectful of our system, which is itself the real hero here.  The humans who happen to have obtained more electoral votes are certainly no better than us and in many aspects far more unpleasant than even regular people.  So remind them.

Bowing to kings is for European sissies.  My greatest blessing is ancestors who fled such hellholes and their substandard plumbing.  Sure, I have to cope with a string of unfortunate leaders who can’t lead.  But at least this particular upcoming president will be extra fun to mock knowing he hates it so much.  There’s no constitutional requirement for thick skin in a president, as voters are supposed to be wise enough to choose otherwise.  When the opposite happens, make the gaudy putz feel bad about it.

Bye Bye Barack

A shallow memory spurs happiness on a planet stocked with bad memories. Humans who are trying to outrun the napalmed trash trail behind them naturally face forward.  In positivity’s name, many are already hating the new president and everything he does.  Loathing politicians is America’s pastime, especially considering who’s being inaugurated.

But don’t forget to indulge in a little nostalgic contempt for the trailblazer we’ll always recall as the first crummy black president.  It’s time to wish good riddance to Barack Obama, who’s memorable as the guy we wish we could forget.

Circumstances never improved for a teen in his 50s who spent every moment bitching about them.  A purported leader set a record for whining so much about what he was handed, which is one of the many mature dignified aspects he brought to an office typically associated with grownups. The catastrophe he left despite his promises to make Heaven look like Detroit by comparison was to show the next guy how unfair life is.  Or maybe he just is a historically inept buffoon.

Scorching the ashes could be a way of saying screw you to Trump.  But the rest of us suffer, too.  If Obama was planning to leave everything as a despondency-spurring mess as an ironic meta-joke about the inheritance he’s leaving, than I apologize for saying he’s never been farsighted about anything.  Progressive policies are tricky that way.  If we’re all supposed to feel upset, then he succeeded at equality.

Irony is cruel in indifference.  Take how America fought at least one war every day the Nobel Peace Prize laureate was in office.  It wasn’t that he tried to make fighting cool.  Emasculating the hero made villains ballsier, as the community organizer’s astounding unwillingness to learn what motivates human behavior was thorough.

It’s tough to grasp the difference between winning and ending wars.  The latter doesn’t work if the enemy is still trying to murder you. Voting for coolness twice was supposed to extinguish contempt.  But everyone who loathes us interpreted dousing ourselves in gasoline as weakness.

Draining the hope reservoir means more realistic expectations.  Some of our gentler rubes were surprised that a politician didn’t deliver.  In fact, it’s as if the opposite happened.  Still, don’t let semipermanent stagnation make you cynical just because life’s problems were supposed to have been eliminated for eight years now. Deciding that some earning more than others is a moral stain actually causes more poverty.  But that’s only because we were too selfish to relinquish our natures.  We deserve to suffer for our wavering faith.

If you’re going to uproot our crops, you may as well salt the earth. Obama is greater than mere ineptness.  We’ve never satisfactorily answered whether he’s screwing up as a putz or because he takes comfort in smashing wine casks.  The chicken/egg dilemma has left us flabby despite all the apparent protein.

Blame contempt for the nation from the top.  Put a Daily Kos commenter in the White House for eight years and the results would be the same.  It’s bad enough the nation is crammed with so many petulant twerps who loathe it.  Let’s not elect another one again.

The toughest challenge in assessing legacy is trying to encompass every horrifying moment into a few sentences.  Things will be stupid in a slightly different way now, as America is in for populist spending blamed on free market Randians through 2020.  But at least we’ll get relief from someone who thought a country dedicated to personal liberty will be swell once we eliminate everything for which it’s known.  It’s really the right’s fault for thinking humans are capable.

He destroyed to his utmost, and Obama’s lack of practical skills was a blessing.  The checks and balances he loathes were there precisely to trip up cloddish wannabe tyrants.  Neither the ineptness nor successful disasters will humble with such healthy self-esteem.  The consummate loudmouth won’t be going away just because he’s supposed to now.  You’d think someone who did for us what Mariah Carey did for melody would feel embarrassed.  But the tone-deaf never hear their musical atrocities themselves.

Other than everything Obama said or did, he was great.  We’re going to hear far more curious boasting about the sea of broken spirits if you were innocent enough to think the nightmare would end upon awakening. Nobody deserves to golf in shame more.  But his failure is only matched by his arrogance.  A president who disliked everything American will stay near the bullhorn to remind us of his staggering wholesale errors.  The favor won’t be intentional.

Expensive Market

Vegans would devour steak if Paul Ryan said salad was healthy.  Hating a person is one of the most fun things others can do.  But thorough contempt can blind us from what targets are actually saying.  It’s not as visceral, but it’s probably wise to at least hear what those we despise have to say.  Call it compassion.

Take how liberals suddenly believe in free markets because the election winner they loathe opposes them.  Criticizing Donald Trump is enjoyable and useful.  But some who went as far as voting for that corrupt itinerant hiker are compensating for the fear we’ll notice how often they agree with the guy who won. Typical enemies of commerce who think the Republican must be antithetical to their values have become unlikely allies in preserving competition.  Partisans only like it when one of theirs doles out favors as rewards.  See: parties are different.

While it’s never bad to review the basics, the daily lessons are tiring. Conservatives ask for strength before explaining one more dang time how a purported tax break can actually just be a handout. For example, track carveouts granted to particular conglomerates that managed to flag Trump’s limited attention with tantrums loud enough to crack fillings.  Giving panhandlers change ensures they won’t leave the subway.

Sadly, we’ve come to expect a frightening portion of Americans are hostile to American values.  Working while keeping what’s earned without bitching is foreign to those who think the Constitution is what’s holding us back.  Smug nitwits of that type aren’t the problem, at least not for this specific example.  The surprising and disappointing part pertains to the audience that requires lessons on what freedom means.  It’s the same one that used to pretend to care about permitting commerce.  Democrats have the advantage of not being full of it when they waste your money on stupid junk.

Any special favor to one is an affront to others.  Both sides would agree to the principle, while neither is able to resist in practice. Politics can’t be fun unless you can play deity with parishioners’ involuntary donations.  Heathens refuse to support causes they like with taxpayer funding, and their reward doesn’t seem pending on this absurd plane.

Be upright about hypocrisy to limit exhaustion.  At least admit individual deals for goodies don’t limit government.  A lower levy for a beleaguered industrial concern sounds like it encourages capitalism until realizing competitors are stuck with the old rate.  Well, that seems unfair.  Such capricious treatment isn’t good for business in the long term.  But the press conferences with job numbers sure are exciting.

One day, we’ll stop electing presidents who think they can defy economics through charisma.  Long-term goals are important when the present is exhausting.  A temporary boost resulting from a handout hasn’t fooled reality for two terms, and the boundaries of existence aren’t going to change now.  Conservatives know this.  Or are those whooping for the cheap infusion not into that whole limited government spiel? That’s a fun question for them to ask themselves as they root for a branch helping particular companies as the rest sulk and lump it.

It’s a remarkable coincidence that each party is fine with intrusive rule as long as it’s used to do as they wish.  Each faction may claim different policy goals.  But coercion by law is inherently liberal.  Use state resources to compel any legal behavior, and you’re being bipartisan by siding with Nancy Pelosi.  As so often happens these days, there’s only one side, and it’s the one that takes your money to help you get rich.

Afterburner politics won’t get us ahead, at least for long.  Injecting fuel into the exhaust gives fighter pilots an acceleration burst.  But the quick thrill of momentary acceleration is reduced by empty tanks prior to landing.  So that’s why they don’t use it all the time.  I blame the military for resisting renewable fuels, as solar power could keep our jets in the air indefinitely, at least after dawn. Until those enlightened times, there’s a downside to gimmicks.  The nation feels burned out for a reason.

At least Trump-loathing liberals are willing to slam him even when they agree.  Partisan enmity must be strong when Obama cultists suddenly think federalism is cool.  It may be ironic like a hipster fetish. But Pabst sales spike no matter if customers drink it while smirking.

Confusion right now is normal.  This is just the wacky part of a Shakespeare play or Three’s Company episode before the misunderstandings are resolved.  The usual exhausting suspects will be back to bashing commercial transactions if a free market fan is ever elected.  That may take awhile, so accept their cognitive dissonance as a consolation prize for confiscated liberty.

Fear by Imagination

The key to happiness is claiming something good happened.  At least, it better be.  Preposterous boasts have been the foundation of our system ever since political scientists discovered getting things done is hard.  What doesn’t happen is irrelevant in these fantastical times.  Just presume any federal sorcery creates magic as promised. Why would a politician announce that a fishy program is going to create the happiness you never find in booze or Netflix just to get votes?

Take how we don’t have to hop over corpses of the indigent anymore. And tripping is covered, so there’s no reason to worry.  Health care is all fixed because the historically cool president said so, and mean Republicans want to take it away because the rich think cutting off medicine will help win the class war. Democratic guardians mentioned something about making it easier to buy, so it’s true.  Besides, using money is so unpleasant.

Yes, many of you jittery types are upset about losing your plans as if you think getting sick is possible.  But insane deductibles without getting anything good are a small price to pay for pretending everyone is covered. Compassion through federal action resulted in horrible, shoddy, expensive plans with absurd deductibles that we can’t decline.  Oh, no: they might be taken away.

At least Obamacare covers our bullet wounds.  Right-wing haters oppose gun control because they find it amusing when random people are shot.  Or they know it only enables criminals, whatever.  Letting Americans defend themselves is spelled out in our Constitution and because it’s our damn right as humans.  Still, that must make life like a Western shootout.  The fact liberals loathe the idea of rugged men standing up for themselves aside, criminals have become scared of the virtuous firing back.

But what about the bloodbath?  Sure, the opposite happened.  But that’s just evidence.  Crime has plummeted since the 1960s and ’70s, which is supposedly the simpler era when people kept doors unlocked.  Maybe a dedication to innocence embodied by the refusal to turn a deadbolt 90 degrees explains the felony spike. Regardless, those who’d only hurt someone out to hurt them are psychologically and physically safer thanks to right-to-carry.  Don’t expect that to stop liberals from gloating about shootings without ever pondering why each is so rare that it tops the news.

Runaway concerns are outpacing actuality.  Take a pending tough term that’s already framed as belonging to rude Hitler.  Present preposterous fears of a Trump administration will make the actual crummy thing feel like a letdown. Sure, it’s bound to be lousy, as this particular pyramid scheme features mandatory participation nationwide thanks to a few suckers who think juice should be bought from a car trunk instead of a supermarket.  Yet the death camps are far below capacity.  We even get four tweets per day.

Our nation’s new round of problems start with a president-elect who’s not presidential.  But that doesn’t mean we’re about to endure a tyranny, even a dull one where we’re annoyed to death.  Trump’s not crafty enough to bypass Congress, anyway. America is about to endure a rather pedestrian term of statism that will seem modest only compared to Spendy Hussein McWasterson.

The perpetually indignant would be surprised by who’s allied with them if they weren’t so busy blocking traffic for justice.  Liberals should be pleased that their preferred method of bribing companies with money looted from taxpayers to stimulate growth will continue no matter how doltish it is.  Instead, they order body bags for all the minority homosexuals they presume will be hanged.  Muslims will be shot into space.

For those of us not inclined to worship a president before he serves for five minutes, the next one’s biggest asset is unwittingly his damage-limiting oafishness.  The clumsy ineptness which is evident to anyone shrewd enough to see Trump isn’t a dreamy strongman.  It doesn’t take that much inspection to realize his alleged empire is as gaudy as it is empty.  But the time to do so was a few years ago.

Competence can’t be faked anymore.  The Golden-Painted Boy was over his head acquiring Manhattan real estate.  But I’m sure he’ll be suited for life as head of state.  If not, he can just say he’s thriving.  It’s worked for him up to this point in his life. And the fading incumbent has made boasting while failing an art form. The nicest thing to say about Barack Obama is that he’s compensated for uselessness.

This isn’t a time to smile in anticipation of rosiness.  Browbeating companies into making them stay isn’t wise or self-sustaining, much less constitutional.  But preemptively delegitimizing actual worthy grievances by going to red alert before the threat even materializes reduces crew readiness.  Perpetual howlers presumed their childish fears would come true, which is a natural byproduct of using Facebook memes as a primary news source.  The Boogeyman is real and living inside your skull.

Anger for Sale

Sore winners aren’t easing the transition to a classyocracy.  Donald Trump’s biggest proxy loudmouths aren’t just still cranky because they’re unpleasant by nature: they actually wanted Hillary.  The rage machine industry is the only one that will thrive without other workers subsidizing it.  Angry AM radio is supported willingly by listeners interested in being unhappy and buying prepper kits.

It can’t be that anyone thought Trump would be fit to serve, so dismiss that absurdity to preserve sanity.  Unpleasant-sounding talk hosts wish they could be bitching about the travesties she would enact.  Now, the ostensible Republican will pimp similarly appalling notions.  But the violations are now good news because he’s on their side.  Theoretically accurate yet still unhinged ranting about the Clinton crime family is more fun than getting what you want if you’re sick enough.  The Laura Ingrahams of the world don’t have the instinct to be in charge for good reason.

The worst thing possible happened for somehow popular populist hosts: Trump won.  The chattering class is now responsible for any unpleasantly preposterous notion their coarse hero puts in play.  Wishing the nasty fools who fell for his shiny campaign good luck is easier upon realizing they won’t receive it.  Time moves forward, to their dismay.

Those with foresight could’ve sat out this game knowing there’s no victor in a Super Bowl between the Cowboys and Patriots.  Instead, they’ll learn a hard lesson about the individual accountability they’ve pretended to promote.  It’s never too late to learn about conservatism with a practical example.

Faux conservative cable news and talk radio is valuable in that it makes listeners feel brighter by comparison.  The election was illuminating not for any particular comment made by a Trump devotee but rather for they thought passed for arguments.  The sincerest converts may be irritable, but at least they’re not bright. I’ll be nicer when they help elect a better candidate.

Supporting Trump means aligning with Eric Bolling. Such an unimaginable Geneva convention violation should be punishment enough.  But we have to suffer along, so ditch qualms about torture that’s self-inflicted, anyway. Government will cop a feel no matter how often we ask it to stop grabbing.  Note who thinks touching without consent is okay as long as someone from their side is putting on the clumsy moves.

The difference between winning and whether or not it’s a good idea is a subtlety lost on unscrupulous goons whose only principle is getting ahead at any cost.  The new year will see them losing respect, if they ever had it.  At least hypotheses may be proven true. Hopefully, the market works in a way economic nationalists who happen to be Republicans don’t understand.  Actual conservatives anticipate a correction in power featuring loss of work for those who think government bribes are okay if administered by a marginal businessman.

Getting everything you wanted is a curse if you’re an idiot.  The claim one can do better is much easier to sustain if one never gets to try.  A chance to prove dooms the inept.  You don’t have to imagine Obama running the system about which he incessantly bitches: you can just dredge up a horrid memory from any random day over the last eight years.  As a deflating sequel, fuming humans will be in control, and they’re not about to calm down after their policies produce consequences.  Against what will they rail?  They’ll limply still blame “globalists” and “elitists” while winking loudly enough to cause feedback.

I don’t want to say the president-elect is ideologically sloppy: I want to tattoo it on those who forced this ludicrous series of events that’s too strange to be called a nightmare.  And I can’t draw.  If the waking horror seems bad, think of those saps who have to makes excuses when Trump tries to pimp liberalism.  True conservative patriots with crying-eagle avatars invested their hopes in a New York City big-government enthusiast.  The discovery won’t make them more pleasant, so shelve those hopes.  But at least we can mock.

As for a guy who deserves to be scolded, cult enlistees can’t admit they were suckered just because it’s obvious.  Shrieking at those who dared notice there was no good reason to get angry without a plan or breathing exercises won’t help govern now.  The worst part about winning without ideas is having to make decisions.

Trumpers are even angrier because they planned to relax through bitching for another term.  They thought they’d be condemning others for noticing how comical their candidate was while sighing to themselves about a dodged bullet.  Now, they have to make up excuses for the ludicrous policies sure to actually happen.  You’d be ranting, too.  You don’t have to sympathize if you chose more wisely.