Incorrect for the Wrong Reasons

Historians argue over whether the Titanic or Hindenburg captain was more adept at navigation.  Give the professional nerds enough mead, and it may be settled with a duel.  Like the economy, cheering isn’t a zero-sum game.  We don’t have to take sides, unless hating both sides counts. That takes us to present pleasant times.  Disliking one bad option doesn’t mean joining with all those who agree.  Mock everyone for consistency.

You can disagree with both.  That oh so subtle position means teasing everyone.  Let’s keep on schedule.  Alternate for variety between mocking liberals and conservatives who think Trump embodies their values. The confusing nature of contemporary events distracts from how stupid they are.  Just remember that everyone is against you deciding with your money which businesses should thrive.  It’s easier to stay alert when everyone is a potential pickpocket.

It’s hard to make money when you don’t know how, which is why most politicians needed to run for office in order to buy groceries. Let’s review once again something that should’ve been learned on civilization’s first day.  Good companies should be able to find voluntary investors, who in turn possess ample resources because they’re not being looted by messianic office-fillers ludicrously claiming to help.  Taking money from the economy to help it seems like it features a catch.

The president’s going to be involved with commerce, and usual fans of such silliness will stand opposed out of personality conflict.  Brace for a term where anything where a business gets a benefit from a politician funded by taxpayers is risibly framed as conservatism. Some alleged conservatives hear nothing but the word “business” and think the free market is rolling. Meanwhile, big-government enthusiasts can admit they think allowing humans to trade as they see fit is a failure.  They’re just like Trump!  Alternately, they can join the Ayn Rand Book Club in opposition to the James Taggart presidency.  Help them sound out the big words.

Liberals complain about liberal policies because they enjoy entertaining us whether they realize it or not.  We have to cope any way we can, especially since present circumstances somehow end up making it harder to elect conservatives.  Somehow, we’ll get blamed when the economy remains stagnant due to continued massive looted spending.  The Party of Reagan couldn’t have possibly changed, so it must be our fault.

The difference between parties and philosophies has never been starker. It’d be nice without the exceptions.  Politics are much easier if “Republican” and “conservative” were synonyms.  But they’re as related as “Anthony” and “sobriety.”  Those wise enough not to pay attention to elected officials naturally think each side attracts those with certain beliefs.  But both parties are stocked with fans of governing your life.  Changes come quickly.  Times Square isn’t the preeminent hive for debauchery any longer, which is why I’m banned from the Disney Store.

A practical example can help teach Democrats about allies of opportunity.  There may as well be some value to our suffering. Those who were with her happen to despise Trump.  But one must hate the orangey idol for the right reasons.

Calling any random Republican a sexist racist homophobe is the traditional progressive rational manner of offering constructive criticism. Sure, the 45th president is much higher if the men were ranked as scumbags and not sequentially.  But his unpleasantness is secondary to his lust to dominate.  Liberals should know the impact of calling everyone who believes in lower taxes Satan O’Hitler has diminished the charge.  Maybe treating those out to obey the Constitution as demons weakens the case against actual nefarious forces.  But who am I to tell another party how to conduct their business?

It’d be more amusing how often Trump’s beliefs coincide with his shriller critics if they weren’t both getting the unfortunate policies they want.  Democrats dislike Pepsi if it’s served in a Coke can.  The ostensible Republican is a sad caricature of enterprise that actually embodies persistent meddling.  They don’t appreciate our smirks as we explain.

Trump has promised to use power for granting special deals just like the ones he negotiated with politicians.  Hmmm, what political movement does that represent?  Give liberals 24 hours to decide if they’re going to abandon their silly collectivist notions or become bipartisan by praising Donald Trump, their ideological partner.  It’s not trolling if it’s true.

Flame war patrons may as well enjoy the unique position of not caring for the boss or his critics.  Everyone else could be wrong, which is this futuristic era’s most valuable lesson.  Misanthropy is a good general policy.  In this instance, there are specifically fine reasons to hate all.

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