Civil Wary

Moaning liberals are staying true to form, so bless constancy.  It’s not like they’re capable of changing.  What would they do: learn skills? George Soros wouldn’t pay them to pursue engineering degrees, so they’ll continue bellowing about homophobia in front of Trump Tower. They’ve decided to stick with what got them here.  Switching to independence isn’t the sort of change they had in mind.

Having nothing about which to complain fails to stop them.  Meanwhile, the genuinely aggrieved cope quietly.  The lesson is hard to notice, which isn’t the only reason it’s ignored.  Those polluting your Facebook feed with cosmically inane George Takei posts aren’t the ones whose ostensible party is linked to a longtime member of the other faction who still endorses a vigorous take on power.  Yet their side is the one that maintains life is unfair.

Those most entitled to complain are least likely to do so.  It’s hard to appreciate irony when everyone’s holding hand-lettered placards in our faces.  But those who are grownups more than legally can’t stop and debate on the way to work.

Donald Trump is making life harder for Republicans because that’s the kind of universe we have.  This may feel like a particularly peculiar moment on the timeline, so enjoy the freak show instead of scolding the proprietors for showing off pinheads.  As for the circus’s ringmaster, one would think he was promoting discord on purpose if one wasn’t familiar with his other work.  A guy who’s afraid of staircases isn’t a few steps ahead as his more zealous critics.  Convincing people he knows what he’s doing has been useful in its way, at least for him getting to the presidency.

Yes, he’s attempting to learn different skills on the job than his predecessor.  But we should still check into getting a president next time who’s not a trainee.  Three in a row wouldn’t be a charm. Calling Stumpy McTrumpfinger’s efforts ham-handed is an insult to hams.  We could’ve told you what happens when a guy without a functional political philosophy takes office is we could hear over whooping derpy slogans.  “Whatever works” is a byproduct of not not having an idea at the start.  There’s plenty of time to come up with at least one.  A long, long time.

As the pervert learned during Mass, saying whatever comes to mind has its downsides.  This White House thinks subtlety is for movies with foreign talk, and they didn’t come to the cineplex for a literacy test.  Hitting the buzzer first doesn’t necessarily lead to the correct answer.  Policy via blurt isn’t necessarily a virtue, especially depending on the mind.

The straight talker has caused a lot of confusion.  Bluntness isn’t necessarily unequivocal, especially if the speaker is trying to convince you he knows what he’s discussing.  This particular president would speak more coherently if he knew what he wanted.  The goal of every human adulating him while genuflecting doesn’t count. Perhaps the next impulse will be the correct one.  Recall he ran on a lark, which informs every decision he makes affecting our lives through 2020.  If it seems like Trump’s making it up, it’s because you’re astute.

Why get serious now?  After all, he’s played a successful businessman for such a long time.  A certain indicator of security is the compulsion to flaunt supposed wealth.  In a reminder of English’s limitations, gaudy doesn’t cover it. Every bit of shiny flair stapled to Trump’s property is what you think a rich guy is like, or at least what the aspirer thinks we think it’s like.

Seventy years in, anyone marginally engaged can easily spot Trump’s thoroughly crude take on design and communication.  Hey: just like his version of conservatism.  The bluff worked all the way to the top, although that’s a testament to voters’ weak poker faces.  We suffer because the id guy’s ego is out of control.

Republicans pricing venues for 2032 victory parties should make sure their presidential mascot hasn’t chewed through his leash.  We only get the chance to be in charge every couple of elections, and this turn is being used on a longtime Democrat and permanent blowhard.  Someone whose obsession with proving strength has already been manifested in flippant outbursts.  At least he’s predictable in capriciousness.

How about winning for more than the sake of gloating?  Those who believe we can get by without mandatory federal guidelines should try to win next time while explaining what the party doesn’t endorse.  For now, casual political observers will naturally presume free-market policies are presently on display.  Republicans are the business side, right?  Pundits were making trite observations about short attention spans decades before Twitter turned our brains into circuit boards.  Hey, check out that bird!

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National, Global, Nonsensical

It’s befitting of our special times that both sides in a heated argument are dumb enough to miss the point.  This column could feature about 50 subjects following that opening sentence.  But this particular instance refers to the entire world and how we go about hating it. That’s special because it encompasses everything.

The debate over nationalism versus globalism is a markedly fatuous argument that actually explains how we got here pretty well.  Pitch the assumption America is nothing special pitched against the notion that same country too special to be threatened by cheaper junk made in contemporary sweatshops.  That’s not what we mean by the good old days.

Conflating a strong government with a swell America is actually more rotten than anything Barack Obama pimped, as he didn’t bother to pretend he was fond of this place.  Presuming the president will grant jobs taken by scheming foreign powers is the new thing you can’t argue.  Do you not want work, pinko?  It’s like liberals claiming you hate the arts for believing the government shouldn’t subsidize them.  I don’t find it more fun having occasionally voted for the same candidates as those now explaining why we’re unmutual.

I dream of returning to a world where Sean Hannity isn’t the president’s intellectual ally.  Way back in 2016, Washington was a bully like every other capital because the White House was centralizing to get in line with the rest of the stupid world.  The election meant there was to be no more arrogance accompanying apologies for our nation’s existence.  But herpes was replaced by syphilis.  Nothing got better as suspicion of international free markets took hold.  Shrewd Americans are supposed to sucker other countries during negotiations.  Instead, we let a president who isn’t very good at it despite boasts to the contrary do the non-work on our behalf.  When did we get so lazy?

Those who loathe globalism would struggle to define it.  They’re too busy cussing about today’s trading partner-turned-enemy to worry about explaining just why exchanging products with anyone willing to deal is thinning their wallets.  In the tradition of thinking the only choices were Jeb or a titan who couldn’t profit owning slot machines, Trump fans conflate Obama’s perverse view that America is just one random country with Breitbart-style conspiracies about unfettered commerce harming our factories.  Disregard the snarling about Hebrews and the Alex Jonesian tone to focus on how sad the notion that worldwide financial interaction will doom us.  Some Americans are only willing to compete intramurally.

Treating the ability to buy and sell merchandise anywhere on Earth as the source of villainy is sure to spur prosperity.  Any pecuniary soothsayer who says otherwise is a fraud.  You’re far too concerned with followup questions when you should be compiling a list of countries whose goods we should incinerate.  Never mind that they’re already purchased, as the taint of foreign influence can infect erstwhile patriotic American toilers.  Next thing you know, there’ll be ethnic stalls at the food court, and only Reds eat with sticks.

But maybe inferior countries don’t need to be demonized.  If Mexico’s really that lame, we shouldn’t have to fear trading with them.  In fact, their economy might improve enough to convince people to stay, which would reduce the need for a wall that’s never getting built.

The same government that’s shoved around businesses is going to make them productive as an apology.  Forget producing anything worthwhile: the government doesn’t need to bother with locating purchasers.  Or just blame the existence of imports.  Anger may be justified.  But that doesn’t mean the angry know what caused the boiling or how to reduce heat.

As with so many things in these exquisitely preposterous times, the reaction to the initial failure is often as problematic.  Take responding to the thoroughly horrific Obama presidency with someone who proves instinct won’t always steer you in the right direction.  A leader who thinks America’s strength stems from vigorous protectionism may not have studied history carefully, if “carefully” means “for a second.”  The same guy with distorted views of what embodies wealth and class may not offer anything more than superficial assistance.  That black glass is so sleek that the owner must be rich.

A truly strong America doesn’t need trade barriers to make nice things. The whole point is being able to compete without them.  Doesn’t Trump think we can do that?  Challenge his manhood so his insecurities cause him to respond.  A laid-back vibe should also be applied to an excessively active government that’s proven it’s to commerce what Shia LaBeouf is to the Oscars.  Instead, your president will be punishing companies for leaving, which really is the best way to inspire loyalty.

Both twisted philosophies revolve around touting meager gains and expecting us to never ask about the costs.  And adherents of both would claim they’re not philosophies.  Skittish replies to normal conditions always leads to harebrained reflexes that aren’t worth the price.  From thinking other countries are better than us to thinking other countries don’t deserve to engage in commerce with us, progress can take many unique forms.

Don’t Bother

What if we did good on our own?  Oh, we can’t be trusted.  That’s why our nation is founded on the principle of being ordered around with step-by-step instructions.  So, quit disobeying like a Russian.  We can’t thrive until we all worship the president with enough fervor. Any slacker drags the entire commune down.  Pick up the pace, Larry.

Or, you could read alternate history.  America is, to use a lamentably ruined construction, great.  It’s just not in the way any recent president claims.  The sentiment is as right as the way it’s presented is frightening.  Presuming the president hands us favors in exchange for loyalty happened so casually that we couldn’t even twitch in response.

Despite the way many who claimed they wanted limited government now act, we excel despite federal hassles. Government isn’t patriotic, and the whole point is to restrain it and threaten to drop it from a helicopter.  Remember it was built by the lowest bidder.

America’s successes occur precisely because we’re not ordered around.  Do as you wish, and we all benefit.  See, we have to create what we want or buy what we don’t have, so trading with others helps them out.  There may even be textbooks that use chapters stretching for entire chapters.

A few citizens are still lamentably acting like any government could spur the economy, particularly our government.  The same style may not work under a wholly different personality.  Donald Trump will browbeat companies and foreigners into flourishing as has always happened, at least according to those who are suddenly cool with funneling money through what was formally called the Cesspool on the Potomac.

Federal force creates a strong nation in the same sense that Madonna created modesty.  A pimp hand slapping us into submissive prosperity is necessary to those in the stable who think a failed casino magnate is rich because his name’s in gold.  To be fair, that is a color associated with wealth, as it is a traditionally expensive metal.  But perhaps someone showing it off so prominently is trying a little too hard to convince us.  If it worked well enough to get him to the top, then that’s a reflection on the suckers impressed by the shine more than the mouthy peddler.

A nationalistic patina doesn’t make coercion more pleasant.  In fact, you may be surprised to learn nausea’s source.  Style doesn’t affect principles.  It’s a bit less than an exaggeration to note Trump tries to be less snobbish than Obama, who thought he was better than us despite every single thing he did.  But straightforward vulgarity isn’t necessarily a virtue, even in response to a condescending twit trying to arrange our affairs by law.  The New York Times is quite different from the Daily News, and they’re both garbage papers.  The incumbent seized upon the notion in the basest way possible that voters felt the nation wasn’t patriotic enough, and that’s the worst reason to still be running the economy from the Oval Office.

Trump fans are feeling hurt.  This is a sad face.  The irony is one of the few present enjoyable aspects of politics.  By being as secure as their leader, the very not paranoid followers think people are looking down upon them, which shouldn’t bother those so dedicated to telling it like it is.  In reality, it’s only snobby liberals scorning their de facto allies.  Conservatives are disappointed by the Trump faction’s dedication to submission.  The only thing worse than thinking an apparatus that can’t deliver the mail makes the nation special is thinking a person serving in it does.  Please bless us with jobs, Mister the Donald.

The conundrum’s worst part is failing to realize it exists.  Many who are Republicans out of habit either don’t grasp that his plan to use federal power to make dreams come true may not be conservative or were fine with being bossed around all along.  The question may be tough to resolve, much like how we never figured out if Barack Obama screwed up because he didn’t care much for the nation and wanted to knock it down a notch or if he was just a derelict.  There’s disturbing news accompanying either answer.

This whole time, we thought Obama’s foes were interested in limiting government to encourage personal autonomy.  But a disturbing percentage of gimps just wanted a dominatrix they respect.  They shouldn’t expect reciprocity, and it’s a great tragedy that they wait to be loved equally.  Meanwhile, nobody else finds their costumed silliness as anything more than dressing up to compensate for bored inadequacy.  The dedicated recipients of humiliation are impressed by the vulgar commands while the adults are suppressing giggles. Everyone else is uninterested in obeying.  Submission is for freaks. But we have a freaky government now.

Spend Your Own

I paid a bill once.  It was for a grocer who had the nerve to charge me for provisions and it was awful.  I see the inherent appeal of a communal tab.  Using cash gets expensive.  Our whole country is sharing a table, so keep passing around the check.  Our rich pals will cover it and never stop socializing with us.  We are pretty charming.

Liberals are keen on helping their victims.  Why do you think they create so many?  They can’t possibly think they’re improving conditions.  None will ever ponder for a second that humans are capable of addressing their own needs.  Here: have some assistance.  Those who don’t believe in reliance strive to make their beliefs true.  If you feel it’s impossible to cope with life, it’s natural to inflict the gloominess on others.  Some things are too good to be voluntary.

Any Summer Olympian can tell you humans can’t swim without being chained to the pool floor.  The absurd solutions to poverty are precisely what makes it hard to buy one’s own things.  Take money to help people with no money to achieve mathematical prosperity.  Those whose political beliefs revolve around dodging accountability aren’t about to examine if it’s their own policies that create poverty.  That twist could revitalize M. Night Shyamalan’s career.  The feeling of assisting can’t be beat, so let’s never let the poor jump up a quintile.  Well, how can you feel helpful without folks in need?

Hear me out for a second: the vertical pedal on the right makes the car go.  Also, a mandate may in fact make it tricky to have coverage.  I know everyone had it during the Obama presidency because the sheet claims so, but let me suggest that the law may have broken itself. It just might be possible that competition could get us closer to universal insurance as the prices drop to reasonable levels.

By contrast, far too many think the only way to lower skyrocketing prices caused by federal intervention is to make mean rich people subsidize the poor.  Those baffled souls feel the next round of currency incineration will demonstrate compassion.  Don’t tell these geniuses about why tuition is so high until we’ve buried our wallets.

Those who still can’t afford fair pricing are supposed to be banished to the sulfur mines, at least according to The Washington Post’s characterization of conservatives.  But we could also possibly slip the deeply poor a couple bucks.  Our enlightened progressive friends never think to help others on their own.  Helping by force is a great example of how generous our species can be, not to mention inherently efficient.  Don’t try it without a government minder explaining how to be caring.

People would never help on their own, according to people who never help on their own.  Freaks who believe in helping others because life has meaning are not to be trusted any more than corporations who’ve sold you everything you have.  Those darn churches are just anti-abortion conformity factories that plan terror attacks to blame on mosques. And the Salvation Army is just a violent paramilitary organization. Why do they annoy us with bells during winter solstice when it’s the government’s job to help?

There’s no way to change the past, notes the bank robber to his hostages.  We just have to deal with the awfulness that randomly happened.  What would legislation have to do with crumminess that follows?  Our moral superiors never ponder that there could have been other ways to get insurance.  Competition means ease paired with affordability, even if one’s not into that whole self-reliance scene.  The only downside would be more Geico or Progressive ads to mute quickly.  I know it’s not like them to avoid thinking things out.

Be thankful for small victories, like how the lack of good faith from the side that hates religious services is predictable.  Tolerant liberals seethe with limp rage at those who disagree.  There can’t merely be disagreement over how to advance.  Those cruel monsters who want cuts are hoping to find elusive joy by watching orphans fight pensioners for cans of beans.  We would hate to have all that money in the economy, as the purchasing would reward greedy capitalists.

It’s bad enough to debate politics with those who think politics solve everything.  But it’s especially tiresome for progressive crusaders who have gotten everything they wanted for eight years and are trying to block cameras from the trash fires.

Those who oversaw America’s diminishment while America’s enemies thrived have turned to their new full-time jobs of trying to convince us the sales pitch was accurate. The ladies love you driving that 1984 Ford Escort, and the laughter is over a joke you told.  Nobody’s laughing about the mess.  But cheer up: it’s someone else’s job to clean up.  Respect Barack Obama’s legacy.

Lazy, Fair

Democrats don’t believe in unfettered commerce.  For balance, neither do Republicans.  We’re united and it doesn’t feel as heartwarming as the news led us to believe.  Politics has become a contest to see which party is best at taking from taxpayers and spending to help the same blessed folks who had treasure plundered.  Sorry for the spoilers, but the answer is neither.  The free market freakout is only good news for those who exploit it.  May their rise to power provide as much comfort as the costly trinkets they dispense.

The lack of trust in humans naturally leads to shaky faith in the republic.  How can you trust citizens to vote properly if you can’t presume they’ll address their own economic needs?  It takes a level of misanthropy that even I admire to figure people won’t spend to benefit themselves.  Instead of figuring prices will drop naturally through making businesses dance for our nickels, the enlightened leader knows a subsidy will bring instant relief.  The high price is as irrelevant as who’s covering it: I got a thing for a discount!

Antsy twitching is the primary characteristic of those with little faith in purchasing power.  It’s no wonder they can’t produce anything themselves.  There’s only one party now, and it worries you’re going to spend and hire incorrectly.  We need federal assistance to help buy insurance and tuition for those harmed by the last round of federal assistance.  Quality is a natural byproduct of competition.  But sending menial work to the Third World is unacceptable to those who know automation is the enemy of full employment.  Pull the curtain for us because we might do it wrong.

The semi-black market shows how much we could thrive if we weren’t socked for it.  Our gig economy embodies humans interacting without orders. Take how Uber is one of the few thriving industries not granted a tax indulgence by the bishop-in-chief, and not just because people like me moved to New York City because we hate driving.  The ferrying application is a simple matter of connecting buyers and sellers, brought together in this case by one side’s ownership and operation of motor vehicles.  Now, Gothamites would dine at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company before hailing a cab.  The lesson is consistent.  It turns out that Earth’s most powerful motivation is avoiding poor eBay feedback.

Saying the government should run the economy while tweeting from an iPhone proves that it’s possible to be too smart to perceive one’s own idiocy.  The internet works precisely because people are allowed to interact as they see fit.  Ignore the trolls as a necessary annoyance if we’re to have liberty.  By contrast, there’s nothing neutral about net neutrality.  Yes, let’s let a few commissioners decide who can’t sell us more bandwidth for fairness.  They’re already ripping off frontiersmen with sales taxes that take the fun out of spending enough for free shipping.  At least you can fund a different state’s government.

It’s not to be a snotty Manhattanite, especially while condemning Manhattan values.  But it’s important to think out where money comes from without concluding the answer is the Treasury Department tour. Creating value doesn’t interest those offering lunkheaded admonitions that Trump won unlike you losers.  For emphasis, point to a MAGA cap that looks like it cost 30 cents to make.  I’ll stop being condescending when they start admitting they love federal power as long as their candidate wields it.

Those who have heard of Milton Friedman are trying to watch a Britcom that’s clever but a little dry.  Meanwhile, those cheering threats against companies moving abroad to avoid high taxes demand we switch to 2 Broke Girls.  There aren’t nearly enough voters willing to listen to a nuanced case why free trade benefits both parties.  The pitch sadly takes longer than four seconds.

Smoothness isn’t always a virtue.  The contemporary presidency is brutish in application.  It’s been true even through the recent transition. Simply remove the bullplop positivity about common goals spewed by the previous phony and get more straightforward lies from an executive not interested in the other two branches’ opinions.

The ostensible party change features other differences.  Instead of humoring us by pretending he finds the public important, the incumbent is more direct about claiming to do everything better than you.  That’s all the executive is nowadays, which should especially alarm liberals tired of Trump’s forays into micromanagement.  The only thing worse than the government in charge is this government.

The stubborn refusal to let you buy as you wish is a hallmark of the expansive state no matter who’s glowering from the executive’s chair. Sad partisans wait for a cool president so exhausting interdiction into your paycheck is fashionable again.  But they should really be pondering the value of a philosophy that only works depending on the oligarch’s personality.

Donald Corleone

What have I done to deserve this?  I’m not the only one mumbling along with Marlon Brando during these moments when crime feels organized. Professional felony committers are appealing in an amateur world. Take how Donald Trump brings to mind the Mafia. No, the comparison isn’t entirely slanderous, even in reference to shady contractors on one of his measly projects. The principle of doing business by force serves as a common interest.  I’m more scared of Paulie Walnuts than the IRS but still don’t appreciate the coercion.

Sports fans are in awe of superhuman athletes with mostly undefeated records boxing toddlers.  Toughness has to be applied judiciously.  Many voters are drawn to unsavory qualities if you haven’t noticed how we got here.  Enjoy coping with another president unaware he has to back up what’s said to be taken seriously.  The bluff is already being called, as the Taco Bowl Executive is getting outfoxed by Mexico, of all nations.  North America’s bronze medalist was supposed to be easy to extort.

You know, people might stay voluntarily if you’re polite.  But it’s easier for those desperate to maintain a mouthy reputation to threaten companies who dare hire abroad than make them want to stay naturally.  Strength without moral focus leads to the Incredible Hulk smashing downtown without clocking whatever comical CGI villain we’re supposed to fear.

The odd result of mob movies is the respect viewers gain for villains. Still, we can only appreciate characteristics those pro hoodlums onscreen display without context. Citing a Tony Soprano quote about loyalty disregards how he got rich menacing businessmen into paying him to not crush limbs. Viewers viscerally understand there are things to revere about crime families.  But it’s important to remember they’re still families dedicated to crime.

Humans are naturally attracted to honor and backbone, especially following eight years of scoundrels who conceal their inability to complete a pull-up by claiming exertion for jocks.  Yet there’s nothing strong about incessant yapping in regards to who’s about to get socked.  The action is what’s important, and there’s bound to be little follow-through.

The reality of intimidating others in the name of empire isn’t as thrilling.  Capos are not preserving order so people are free to do as they wish but rather cracking limbs in order to get their cut. One may as well venerate the guts of muggers.  Hmmm, how is Trump getting businesses to stay?  It must be charm and low taxes.

Pretending a guy who lost a rumble an old lady will fight for you explains why our world seems so confusing.  Add a wholesale misunderstanding of what constitutes sturdiness for utter bafflement.  Republicans who praise a president for handing out special favors with taxpayer money think conservatives are too idealistic.  Let’s bash National Review and the Weekly Standard for having ideas and standards like a bunch of eggheads.  Principles that promote liberty are for squares.

Those who’ve remained consistent on natural rights think making offers that can’t be refused has to do with a good wholesale price per unit. There’s no need for smashing if the price is right.  Threats are lame.  Levies on those hiring non-Americans isn’t masculine: it’s just being a drooling goon, not to mention a lousy negotiator.  We’re supposed to be impressed that enterprises are staying when the alternative is a commercial kneecapping.

A bully’s posturing is designed to distract from his weakness. Survival instinct is as close to intelligence as they get.  Take the racketeers’ contemptible infatuation with Vladimir Putin, who’s working to be inducted to the Thug Hall of Fame on the first ballot. Throwing keggers in neighbors’ yards is his way of distracting Russians from how Russian their country is.  Aping strength is a popular pastime in a nation where bleakness is the default setting.

It’s hard to beat a quasi-tyrant while admiring him.  An ideal American president would combine toughness with virtue and smack down the neo-czar along with pitiful imperial dreams for his ghetto nation. Instead, buffoons wish to ape the flexing of a delinquent from a hellhole that doesn’t even offer the charm of commie kitsch anymore.  Donald looks at Vladimir the way Beavis and Butt-Head gaze lovingly at Todd. It’s journalistically acceptable to add animated hearts.

Free markets don’t need brass knuckles.  That’s unless someone wants to buy a set, in which case there are countless retailers and prices. For those into mutual trade, the goal is to not make someone who’s into browbeating on a business and personal level president of the United States.  If enough voters are suckered by phony braggadocio, then we’ll just have to reinforce our family.  It’s exhausting to hear who’s supposed to get whacked next, especially when the shallow graves remain unfilled.  Empty threats are both a relief and a bore. Trump’s no mobster: mobsters get things done.

Dollar and Change

How are you planning to get rich: by having a good idea?  It’s highly unlikely.  I’m sorry to be so negative about your capacities.  But the whole reason we have a government is to discourage your silly dreams by law.  Don’t feel bad about the lack of lucrative notions emerging from your skull, as that’s a natural byproduct of joining together.  The hive thinks for us now.

We’re not expecting you to work if government’s doing our thinking.  So, relax, gentle citizen.  With initiative discouraged, the supremely compassionate government will naturally buy you things as compensation for that blue feeling.  That logic follows in its twisted way.  Kids asking for 10 dollars so they can get a Mother’s Day present have grown up, at least age-wise.

Everyone’s for someone else paying.  The lust for carveouts funded by slicing into everyone else’s portion is sadly bipartisan.  This is why shrewd observers hate cooperation.  Those with so much integrity that they don’t have to show it condemn the Obamacare mandate while cheering a tax on companies daring to hire people in non-American lands.  Force is swell now if done on behalf of a vague sense that executive action is the source of our greatness.  What changed?  An election.

It’s beneficial to reduce things to the simplest terms.  Just don’t get simple-minded.  Since it apparently needs to be said, that’s not a virtue.  Take the oversimplified approach to finance that requires political assistance.  Give me money so I have some.  That’s the only way to fight selfishness.  How else could people obtain capital? Money doesn’t just fall into paychecks.  We’ll never get ahead unless we tax enough to invest in infrastructure.  Yes, that may sound inefficient to the heartless capitalist.  But losing a chunk of our investment together is how we feel united.

Why are you hurting the Statue of Liberty’s feelings with your selfish desire to earn and retain?  The notion that any random company could hire people in whatever country it pleases is hurtful to American progress.  Hiring some foreign person is racist.  So what if it’s cheaper, especially when the alternative is to be regulated into oblivion within the country stereotyped as a libertarian frontier? Your Twitter eagle avatar isn’t crying enough.

The conflation of national pride with a muscular government that constantly embarrasses same nation explains every dang criminally stupid federal policy in recent memory.  Brace for sanctioned bullying with a patina of statism framed as patriotism.  The president will intervene similarly to the style since 2009, only while vigorously praising America.  The alleged endorsement of our founding values makes the coercion worse.  But at least the brainless commands make us feel jingoistic.

Creating value is as old-fashioned as paying bills.  Someone else can take care of that for you.  Yet ancient economic wizards maintain that hoary spells still work.  Trade makes both parties richer.  And they get tougher, too, as getting every buck available means making a case for oneself.  Earning confidence is now elitist, so hurting the feelings of frumpy broads and dudes who somehow made bears ironic is an added benefit.

Self-reliance sounds frightening until realizing the alternative is counting on Bernie Sanders’s senatorial votes to avoid starvation.  That lunatic crank is only the most prominent American who won’t grasp the difference between cash and wealth.  Even learning the distinction seems to be too much work.  Way on the other side of the same coin, the gold-clad president totally isn’t overcompensating for insecurity about his lack of acceptance.  Trump will use cash that isn’t his to purchase anything on your list.  His unique real estate background of boasting regardless of acquisition will actually come in handy for this particular style of governance.

Sure, redistribution might seem dirty and inefficient and contrary to liberty and a certain way to crimp productivity.  But I just can’t imagine any other way in which one might obtain money.  That’s possibly because it would involve effort.  The special talk about where income comes from is too mortifying to share.  It’s better to simply presume currency just materializes out of the ether.  In that case, it’s only fair to take it by force and spread it to those who happened to receive less.  Whether pretending mandatory sharing is moral or punishing businesses who appreciate cheap labor, we’re not getting rich no matter how much we’re handed.