Lazy, Fair

Democrats don’t believe in unfettered commerce.  For balance, neither do Republicans.  We’re united and it doesn’t feel as heartwarming as the news led us to believe.  Politics has become a contest to see which party is best at taking from taxpayers and spending to help the same blessed folks who had treasure plundered.  Sorry for the spoilers, but the answer is neither.  The free market freakout is only good news for those who exploit it.  May their rise to power provide as much comfort as the costly trinkets they dispense.

The lack of trust in humans naturally leads to shaky faith in the republic.  How can you trust citizens to vote properly if you can’t presume they’ll address their own economic needs?  It takes a level of misanthropy that even I admire to figure people won’t spend to benefit themselves.  Instead of figuring prices will drop naturally through making businesses dance for our nickels, the enlightened leader knows a subsidy will bring instant relief.  The high price is as irrelevant as who’s covering it: I got a thing for a discount!

Antsy twitching is the primary characteristic of those with little faith in purchasing power.  It’s no wonder they can’t produce anything themselves.  There’s only one party now, and it worries you’re going to spend and hire incorrectly.  We need federal assistance to help buy insurance and tuition for those harmed by the last round of federal assistance.  Quality is a natural byproduct of competition.  But sending menial work to the Third World is unacceptable to those who know automation is the enemy of full employment.  Pull the curtain for us because we might do it wrong.

The semi-black market shows how much we could thrive if we weren’t socked for it.  Our gig economy embodies humans interacting without orders. Take how Uber is one of the few thriving industries not granted a tax indulgence by the bishop-in-chief, and not just because people like me moved to New York City because we hate driving.  The ferrying application is a simple matter of connecting buyers and sellers, brought together in this case by one side’s ownership and operation of motor vehicles.  Now, Gothamites would dine at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company before hailing a cab.  The lesson is consistent.  It turns out that Earth’s most powerful motivation is avoiding poor eBay feedback.

Saying the government should run the economy while tweeting from an iPhone proves that it’s possible to be too smart to perceive one’s own idiocy.  The internet works precisely because people are allowed to interact as they see fit.  Ignore the trolls as a necessary annoyance if we’re to have liberty.  By contrast, there’s nothing neutral about net neutrality.  Yes, let’s let a few commissioners decide who can’t sell us more bandwidth for fairness.  They’re already ripping off frontiersmen with sales taxes that take the fun out of spending enough for free shipping.  At least you can fund a different state’s government.

It’s not to be a snotty Manhattanite, especially while condemning Manhattan values.  But it’s important to think out where money comes from without concluding the answer is the Treasury Department tour. Creating value doesn’t interest those offering lunkheaded admonitions that Trump won unlike you losers.  For emphasis, point to a MAGA cap that looks like it cost 30 cents to make.  I’ll stop being condescending when they start admitting they love federal power as long as their candidate wields it.

Those who have heard of Milton Friedman are trying to watch a Britcom that’s clever but a little dry.  Meanwhile, those cheering threats against companies moving abroad to avoid high taxes demand we switch to 2 Broke Girls.  There aren’t nearly enough voters willing to listen to a nuanced case why free trade benefits both parties.  The pitch sadly takes longer than four seconds.

Smoothness isn’t always a virtue.  The contemporary presidency is brutish in application.  It’s been true even through the recent transition. Simply remove the bullplop positivity about common goals spewed by the previous phony and get more straightforward lies from an executive not interested in the other two branches’ opinions.

The ostensible party change features other differences.  Instead of humoring us by pretending he finds the public important, the incumbent is more direct about claiming to do everything better than you.  That’s all the executive is nowadays, which should especially alarm liberals tired of Trump’s forays into micromanagement.  The only thing worse than the government in charge is this government.

The stubborn refusal to let you buy as you wish is a hallmark of the expansive state no matter who’s glowering from the executive’s chair. Sad partisans wait for a cool president so exhausting interdiction into your paycheck is fashionable again.  But they should really be pondering the value of a philosophy that only works depending on the oligarch’s personality.

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