Not My Jersey

Let somebody else get upset.  The present is defined by an unwillingness to sign one’s name.  So, the disturbing trend may as well be used to the advantage of those clinging to hoary notions of personal responsibility.  Besides, others wanted to be in charge, so let them take the grief they earned.

The best approach to present maniacal politics is to adopt the detached amusement of watching the Super Bowl at a party with partisans. Elation every time someone wearing the correct shirt catches a ball or fury if he’s a stupid jerk who lets it hit the ground is for those with emotional investments.  Meanwhile, we’re cheering dip instead of either team.

Just following the action is the best option if your side didn’t make it that far, which is the care for anyone backing Team Liberty.  The difference is football is fun even without a rooting interest.  Politics is the halftime show, and I’m worried I won’t mute fast enough.

Watching without the emotional attachment applies to current events for playoff outcasts.  Our fans just wanted a government that’s strong militarily and weak otherwise, but we ended up tanking for a draft pick.  Worst of all, there’s only a small chance we’ll get to go first overall.  So, just lounge and hope sense prevails.

The rancor will continue between the two questionable factions no matter what, so it’s preferable to relax instead of enduring exhaustion caused by continually contracted muscles.  The only problem is the nation is affected.  But at least you can tell the officer you weren’t driving the car presently hugging a tree.

Many of us neutral parties would be willing to align with a side if we could tell them apart.  Each has a spirited take on involving themselves in our lives.  One thinks other countries have much to teach us while the other is really into paintings of bald eagles, so that’s how to distinguish them.

The pretense of America being the best or being inadequate doesn’t change their respective takes that much.  The low stakes are what make them so important.  Neither is justified in bossing us.  We should have a minimum of one party who thinks our fate is inexorably linked to the free market’s preservation.

Focus on commonality, like how government will act like helicopter parents without the chance of relief at age 18 no matter who prevailed.  At least youngsters are free to negotiate allowance and curfew, unlike what strict federal nannies impose.  Since life without supervision is unfeasible due to the new patriotic fervor mode, it’s best to detach.  Lay back.  Others will join you when firings follow trade wars, although not by choice.

Let the arguers punch out each other.  For one, the immigration debate that should scare any foreigner from wanting to settle here.  If that’s the strategy all along, then I applaud the ingeniousness. Otherwise, I’m too exhausted to lift my hands and smack them together.  Both sides are dumb in one of today’s semi-bipartisan moments.

As the alcoholic cheered, at least there is no more moderation.  Cling to one side no matter how absurdly steep the canyon is.  Sure, you’re out of luck if you feel anyone who goes through our procedures to get here is awesome.  The same goes for knowing that sneaking in is for scoundrels who’ve already disrespected us by breaking our laws.  But who wants to be a wishy-washy person with a reasonable stance?  For those caught in between shouting that we should let in everybody or nobody, getting extreme is for the nation’s sake.

Or maybe sit out an election cycle.  Those who can’t believe the two sides Fox News considers fair and balanced are not responsible for the regrettable outcomes.  The problem is same outcomes are still regrettable.  Those who just want to go a day forgetting Washington exists don’t feel like affiliating with any current prominent bloc. Argue with everyone or no one, as there is still an outcome vaguely connected to free will remaining.

You’re not required to take either of these two particular regrettable stances.  Ignore anyone who notes every word the president says happens to confirm wildest dreams along with the preposterous criticism of those who wouldn’t demean Hitler by comparing him to Trump.  The freedom from aligning with catastrophe on either side is liberating.  It’s the only form of liberty presently available.  It’s just that the ensuing chaos feels like watching a particularly campy disaster movie.  We’re in the crowd scene as the sharknado approaches.  I wish real life were as campy.


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