Donalds and Demons

You poor shrieking protesters don’t look like you slept much.  Tell us about your nightmare.  Did a monster knock out your teeth at school before an exam you didn’t study for, not to mention you forgot to get dressed?  Just know it isn’t real.  Let out those shrieks and know the terrors you saw can only hurt on the inside.  Vent in ceaseless protests and every Facebook post.  The latter’s current exhausting divisiveness makes me long for workout updates from high school classmates.

Don’t act like we’re watching The Happening when we may only be enduring The Village.  We’ll be lucky if this flick is only half as bad as portrayed.  The Trump presidency may still be something that’s odd to type, but I predict it’ll only end up at 40 percent horrid strength.  America may not even fall off the Earth and burn up in the stratosphere.

Focus on what’s actually bad, as the terrifying fictional vision distracts from the current unpleasant documentary.  The imaginary evil Donald distracts from the real tiresome one.  Don’t fear the demons under the bed when there are actual barbarians outside.  Sleep tight!

A buffoon can do real damage when nobody suspects him.  Blame every hysterical adult infant who yelled so much about fake abuse that any charge now seems like a witch hunt.  Acting like someone cloddish is diabolical distracts from his actual damage.  Mindless putzing’s effects can be exacerbated by treating a shoplifter like a Legion of Doom board member.

Reducing readiness is already a Democratic specialty.  Dire outcomes of their ludicrous thoughts aren’t limited to the time they’re in power. Simple neglect defines their governing style.  By contrast, acting like charter schools will trigger America’s Holocaust tenses muscles into premature fatigue.  The civil defense squad is already exhausted.  Perpetual sirens cause peril.  Yell until hoarse from behind the White House fence at the greatest enemy.  It’s a nice change of pace from splitting atoms for Iran.

The most improbable of presidents seems pretty bad without accusing him of maniacal fantasies.  Progressives’ pet media taught them details shouldn’t get in the way of a narrative led by their feelings.  A man who specializes in explaining why he’s awesome will do enough daft things that there’s no reason to mischaracterize.  Nobody will believe the meteor’s coming when it’s just a Buick headed for the porch.  There will still be carnage.

For people who accuse every dissenter of having phobias, Trump critics sure fear every Republican.  Of course, they’re justified, as everyone who thinks the EPA can get a bit out of hand is a duck-punching Nazi Satanist feasting on orphan blood.  That’s why the truly tolerant don’t need to consider conservative positions to be open-minded.

One would think the president’s harshest critics would’ve researched someone they despise so thoroughly.  Knowing thy enemy is apparently to reminiscent of militaristic behavior.  The Indignant Brigade is even more offended than usual.  They think the incumbent embodies ideals that run counter to the enervating communalism that messed us up in the first place.  No worries: Trump won’t reverse too many of Obama’s dumb things.  Anyone who dares think humans are best when left to interact is way more evil than some terrorist that we probably oppressed into wanting to bomb us.

Why wouldn’t you want to make everyone share by law?  Washington rips us off, but at least we get shoddy products out of it.  Liberals don’t have to worry that much about Trump hurting their precious stupid projects.  Cutting the government back to four bacon cheesecakes per week is not even a common diet suggestion from this White House. Trump’s fiercest critics don’t want to admit how often he suggests something liberal.  The active refusal to admit how often they agree with him manifests itself in savage attacks.  Hmmm, I almost think it could be psychological.

Professional chanters refuse to admit what he hasn’t actually done.  Don’t even mention what programs they’d like if Obama suggested them, as they’re already confused.  Okay: go ahead.  For complicated yet depressing reasons, the cloddish statist executive is portrayed as an Austrian economics-loving libertarian purist who won’t read Ayn Rand because she’s too much of a collectivist.  In reality, he doesn’t even know what’s in the books he’s supposedly written.

The flailing outbursts would’ve happened no matter which Republican sent Hillary Clinton into quasi-retirement after a lifetime of alleged service.  Those demented enough to miss Barack Obama concluded the enemy of repulsive compulsion is impurity.  Know they would be calling, say, Scott Walker Hitler Junior, only without hideous black glass towers in front of which to bleat.

Yelling out of frustration makes sense in its own twisted world.  Utterly rational liberals freak out every time one of their garbage programs might even be slightly modified because they fear their mumbo jumbo will be exposed by contrast.  Horrible health care and education are small prices to pay for sanctimony.  They just needed even more of your money to get their shameful ideas to function properly.
Shortsighted ineptness is the real enemy.  This branch of the White House is more likely to go out of business than become Evilcorp.  The man who claimed he’d dominate Atlantic City holds the record for the most empty casinos with his name on them. Those who’ve made protesting him both a career and hobby hate that his businesses resemble the aftermath of their principles.  A failure to understand commerce should unite them.  Miscommunication is tragic.

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