Afflict the Afflicted

At a time when America needs a hero, we get George Costanza. The pretend architect, marine biologist, and latex salesman should’ve been a real journalist, as it’s the one profession where he would’ve kept his job. Using his inevitable Pulitzer in a fruitless attempt to pick up women would’ve been an episode more about the prize’s lack of value than his own scheming.

We couldn’t invent more dishonest media that boasts more about how honest it is.  There’s good news if they need examples for a trend story about how horrid they are.  Journalists versus Donald Trump is our Iran/Iraq War.  Any half-decent news organization could make a reputation and fortune by detailing his misdeeds.  So, forget it.

By presuming its existence is crucial to the nation’s health, the media fails to do actual work.  A field that attracts those too lazy for the post office slacks even more than usual.  They figure the president will do the heavy lifting.  But learning to do a push-up is too much exertion for those who think of tweeting as exercise.

Calling the media sanctimonious is the sort of understatement that illustrates our language’s limits.  But the lack of English superlatives is only part of the problem.  It’s sort of their job to check facts.  Instead, they devote their meager working hours to compiling every maniacal rumor and hateful assumption.  Let the readers sift through obviously incorrect salaciousness, because that’s what the job is.  Fellow journalists replying sympathetically offers double-checking insisted upon by editors.

It’s best to presume hacks are having a contest to see who can preen the most about truth while getting basic details wrong.  Assume they’re not merely this spectacularly incompetent out of undeserved kindness. Getting it wrong so obviously and consistently won’t deter them from presuming the next unsourced Russian hooker story has to be accurate. You couldn’t parody this media thanks to how horribly they perform compared to how they see themselves.  But you try getting ahead of mockery.

Typically evenhanded reporters know everyone who’s not a liberal is a bigoted troglodyte who probably dines at Olive Garden.  It’s easy to be unbiased while viewing everyone who votes differently as evil. Wholly objective profession members are for moderate single-payer health care and command economies.  It’s no surprise that innate statists don’t distinguish between government action and editorial decisions.

The difference between the First Amendment and individual outlets going on the president’s naughty list embodies limitations on federal power.  So, that’s why they don’t understand.  A person who was too intimidated by numbers to major in engineering can’t distinguish between compulsion and the unwillingness of the subject to cooperate. Not grasping what private parties are free to do actually explains present circumstances pretty well.

I’d suspect the press was secretly helping Trump if they were capable of being clever.  Creating sympathy for a president they loathe who doesn’t deserve it is probably not an editorial goal.  But it’s furthered with every insane charge they figure is too juicy to be verified.  If it’s a candidate who these virtuous paragons of democracy and decency didn’t back, he must be as rotten as they think.

Instead of liking people, we turn to those our enemies hate.  It’s as inspirational as you’d figure.  I’m reluctant to support anyone out of backlash, but that’s all the incumbent’s getting from me.  Trump’s greatest sours of support comes from those backing the president out of solidarity in opposition to media twerps who think warning of fascism holds him accountable.  He’ll say something atrocious tomorrow that’ll actually deserve headlines, and correspondents have already blown their credibility.  If you want to know why everyone’s cranky, note the exhaustion caused from from constantly being at DEFCON 1.  The public has trained itself to ignore the sirens.

Our informational guardians ruined the chance to criticize legitimately. So, that’s why they despise the free market.  Their public hysteria ruins the supremely easy chance to tease our president.  Heck, I do it all the time, and I’m as far from a professional as imaginable. Their assumption they’re interrogating a racist monster sent to destroy a country that finally got Obamacare makes them sound as demented as their target.  Nobody watching can tell who’s truly Supreme Ruler of the sanitarium common room.

A free press is swell, so anyone affiliated must be a hero of communication, right?  It’s true except for how most of them make trash fires seem pleasant by comparison.  A media that can’t get simple facts right about a ridiculous president also fails to realize the difference between the media in general and any specific outlet. An industry whose employees very evenhandedly presume every evil business should be regulated by enlightened bureaucrats thinks a confrontational press conference means the government interferes too much.

Criticizing any particular crummy dispatch is portrayed as an assault.  Stop tearing up the Bill of Rights by noting the Washington Post gets it wrong quite a bit for being such snots.  You’d think they’d read the Amendment they bluster about and learn the first word is “Congress.”

Purported arbiters of truth also happen to be fans of government doing everything, an assumption baked into their unfortunate coverage.  Any beat stenographer who asks, say, how to pay for tax cuts or obtain health care without being required to purchase insurance makes mocking about bias easy.  It’s little wonder English majors can’t distinguish between a press secretary skipping reporters he loathes or refusing to buy the New York Times as a rights violation.  Liberal journalists naturally see everything as communal: that means they’re not responsible for the crummy content any individual spews.  Blame the media.

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