Help This

Ordering some people is the joy of assisting others.  At least, it’s that way to feel better about oneself.  That’s the point of helping.  There’s no reason to even check if the money provides benefits.  Those distributing from a different party get a lot out of it.  Best of all, it’s free.

True compassion is voluntary, which is why liberals don’t understand it.  You don’t even get to boss someone around while telling them they’re unable to spend their own cash properly.  What’s the point?  Aid pimps think people are too stupid to buy what they need and too rotten to give a bit of what’s left to those struggling with bills.  The cheery take on existence doesn’t lend itself to trust.  Let’s order each other to care.

Knowing it’s important to help counts as a contribution.  Spendthrift progressives won’t dip into their own Paypal accounts, as that gets pricey.  It’s especially so for gender studies majors who for mysterious reasons have trouble generating income upon leaving campus.

Well, someone has to fight evil.  Those who didn’t learn much math complain about school lunches being out of reach without subsidies.  They reasonably conclude their ideological foes profit off starving kids. Why else wouldn’t conservatives want to help?  They can’t possibly think a cloddish government is the very force keeping more people from providing for themselves, as such a subtle understanding of irony is only for Stephen Colbert fans.

The mechanism for getting rich through cruelty is unknown, as oh so kind liberals never learn how to make a buck.  Ask why so many parents can’t afford meals in the first place for a lesson in problem-solving.  Anyone truly concerned is free to donate to any school.  But making something public means we’re all helping, which in turn means they don’t have to do it on their own.

Preening about how much they care is totally not a sign of overcompensation.  Liberals share even more common ground with Donald Trump.  Help can be done quietly, you know.  If true, they shouldn’t need to boast.  It’s like a certain current president they loathe constantly announcing how awesome he is at dealmaking.  There’s no need to emphasize something so patently true.

Examples should speak for themselves.  Big-government zealots need something to distract from how they’re not into filling the Jerry Lewis jar. One doesn’t even need to patronize a convenience store to assist.  We live in easy futuristic world where you can give away money with a click.  Curse capitalists for making money so easy to distribute.

Sanctimony junkies love to bitch that Americans have become selfish cash-hoarders who’d take your last buck to fritter away.  That’s the government’s job.  Those who care the very most they advocate for forced donations, which is kind of against the point.  Astoundingly hollow greed motivates the assumption that a taxpayer-funded grant is not only one way to care but the only way.  For an example of why the feds screw things up worse while trying to help, use any time it’s ever been tried.

Bumbling into decency is the best we can hope for through the Tokyo Olympics.  The president will sign anything stuck in front of him as long as it’s summarized in shorter length than a tweet.  Maybe he can be tricked into signing a budget where people help on their own.  The money freed up by not wasting it in assistance’s name will make it easy.

Humans turn out to be both crafty and caring once liberated from expecting someone else to do it.  Food pantries aren’t going to remain bare if Michelle Obama’s legacy is reversed. Kind Americans can also support the art they like instead of letting an agency that currently reports to Trump decide what’s beautiful enough to deserve funding.  We’d better let him determine what constitutes hate speech, too.

There still aren’t corpses blocking sidewalks despite the shrieking. Hospitals for blind orphans won’t suddenly have the heat shut off if the national debt drops to a mere $19 trillion. In fact, more people could be helped with less government.  We’d be cutting out the middleman, who keeps adding stories to his tony Chevy Chase home. And why should some limp bureaucrat get to decide what deserves funding?  It’s already appalling that someone pays him.

A little less confiscated money means a lot fewer people to help.  Any truly caring administration would allow people to earn away, which reduces poverty in the first place and created enough prosperity to make giving a bit to those in need possible.  Of course, they have to choose to offer aid.  Spare a thought for those who don’t think fellow humans will do so. Getting a bill is the best way to recognize value.  The same goes for offering a hand.


No Fun at Parties

Who needs a reason to fight?  The punching’s the point.  There’s no need to figure out why we’re angry.  Boxers don’t loathe each other personally: they just punch.  Parties stand for nothing, which resolves that question.  It should’ve been easier to tell them apart by now considering how far we are into the future.  But it’s hard to delineate between entities that’ve decided they’re both supposed to boss.  At least everyone’s really smart.  There’s no problem unless modern folks act like experts after reading a high percentage of a misleading headline.

Fogeys miss storylines where we knew who’s supposed to be good.  Cherish the good old days of Saturday wrestling where the U.S. Express would take on any twerp aligned with the commies or some ayatollah. But now in modern times, the competition has degenerated into base tribalism that features bashing the other side’s skulls with hashtags.  Virtual fighting represents genuine hostility.

Fictional grappling reflects real concerns.  Pro wrestling moved from good and bad to seething clans in what’s totally not a reflection of society.  There’s no ideology: it’s only about power. The WWE Hall of Fame president ran on a political philosophy developed over decades based around the concept that he’s awesome and deserves ego stroking.

Ancient people chose which side of the line to stand on based on common interests.  But that happened before anyone blogged about it, so we have no record of the reason why we’re facing each other.  We only know we want to destroy everyone we see.  Troglodytes had it right.  Or at least they better have. Regress to dirt farming to reduce our carbon footprint.  Emojis are nothing more than virtual cave paintings.

Hate the other side because it’s the other side.  Ideology is an old-fashioned way of thinking out why you believe a thing.  Just blast your way through. Everyone wants the government deciding for them now, and the rage over phrasing it differently is how to compensate for the loss of liberty.

Trusting a clan’s warlord naturally leads to fealty, as we must obey his will for survival.  At least, that’s what he hopes you believe. We better hope no other country challenges the president to a push-up contest or we’ll lose Wisconsin on a dare.

Historical ignorance makes the present even crummier.  Take how Democrats claim they were never the pro-slavery and -segregation party.  The good news is they’re totally not patronizing toward minorities now.

Meanwhile, cruel Republicans made the depression great by refusing to tinker with the economy, at least according to those who presume Donald Trump must share a philosophy with Ronald Reagan.  A maniacal rate of spending and refusal to admit that anyone from the Bush Party could favor expanding government into your lap show how modern men are too busy to learn from the dumb past.

Everyone who thinks government makes things cheaper should group together so we can point and laugh.  It should be easy to divide among parties. Conservative Southern Democrats are as rare as a clever insult from Trump.  But this decade’s Alex P. Keatons aren’t enjoying proportional representation.  Being disenfranchised is the price of not wanting one’s representative to sell stuff back to us.  The middleman lusts over markup.  We don’t get to refuse purchases.

Presuming anything Republicans get done is inherently conservative just encourages them to be more liberal.  Facts are unimportant in an era when a man becomes a lady with a declaration. The unwillingness to check the party’s work means they can do as they please.

Don’t worry, as politicians are famously restrained without accountability. Who needs a Constitution when you’ve got consciences?  People are so swell that we don’t need laws.  Cheering without realizing why is a sign of being very engaged.  Did you know federal spending makes us rich now?  And Russia should be our friend.

Let nothing like reasoning or morality convince us that there’s something more to life than getting enough votes.  Winning an election isn’t worthwhile unless there’s a good reason to have run.  Making us buy health insurance shoddy enough to be sold at the DMV doesn’t count. There used to be one party that at least pretended to be against mandates, but the option was too confusing.

If wasting is the same as making, Washington does all right.  Politics isn’t like business, seen in how the former’s employees are hired without experience.  They promise to learn how to be effective after getting the job.  Our best liars come up with brilliant plans, they assure voters who are too shrewd to fall for some goofy boast.  A president posing as a business success is the perfect fake conservative.  At least we beat those other guys who want the same basic junk.

In Charge and Inattentive

The best football fans could make throws some lame NFL quarterback couldn’t.  It’s very easy to spot who’s open from the couch.  Being president is the same except for lower stakes.  The Super Bowl is more essential than tracking whichever countries are blowing up each other.  It’s no different as president, at least at present.  Fox & Friends sets the agenda in these rational times.  I always thought Brian Kilmeade deserved more say in how the world goes.

But even those whose entire outlook consists of telling others how they stupidly do everything wrong are shocked by the job’s secrets. Forget what’s really in Area 51, as I presume it’s nothing but bourbon cases along with a Mad Magazine collection shared by Joe Biden and Dan Quayle in the spirit of bipartisanship.  If anything’s left hidden in the world, the president knows.  Please change his Twitter password.

Some secrets are so big that even Donald Trump won’t blurt them out.  As with a football coach, his job is to know more than those watching. He can remember what it was like to own a USFL franchise before he ruined the league.

You can tell when our classy president leaves a meeting with an empty gaze that he just learned something unpleasant about our world. Spacing out is a possible cause, but it’s not certain. Seeing the grave reports will change anyone’s mind.  It’s especially so for those who can no longer rely on Bill O’Reilly’s talking points for information.  A guy that charming shouldn’t need to harass ladies to score.

There’s a reason that nobody sane wants to be Earth’s most powerful person despite the perks.  The novelty of taking a helicopter to lunch wears off after awhile.  Learning just how grave the stakes are is the punishment for the biggest egomaniacs among us.  Trust that they know more while not letting them off the hook when they do something patently absurd.

Presidents should occasionally let us know if they’re acting ridiculously based on a secret they learned from a general or dork hacker. A wink while looking into the camera would be of great help. It would at least be nice to use as an excuse.

Decent work upsets the right people.  Every worthwhile decision is going to tick off a percentage of ingrates.  The man actually making them knows poverty or bloodshed could result.  You don’t have to feel bad for him.  But even the right move will make some act like their families have been slaughtered.

I’m going to be the fun boss that lets employees play pinball.  Who wants to be mean and yell?  Making preposterous promises is easy for those who don’t have to achieve them.  Find yourself in charge and suddenly have to figure out how to make this profitable.  The shock makes coolness evaporate.  Guess who’s scolding now?  Give the biggest office to the guy involved with multiple bankruptcies to see the principle in action.  He never seemed that neat from the start.

Filling out complaint cards is campaign behavior.  Some of them contain useful criticism, even if it tends to be from people cranky enough to moan that their marinara portion was too small.  But that doesn’t mean the person who left the two-star Yelp review knows how to ensure the mozzarella sticks are crispy enough.  Doing the job is infinitely tougher than pointing out how to do it better, unless movie critics are more interesting than directors.

Consecutive presidents treating bitching as a strategy haven’t reaffirmed our faith in sweet government.  Their penchant for treating it like the universal solution creates irony which helps us smirk through agony. Those unsuited for the top job nonetheless getting it make the case for properly limiting power.  It’s not about to happen, but at least conservative theories survive through those who oppose them in practice fumbling so badly.

An utter lack executive experience was the last guy’s biggest asset. Barack Obama bluffed his way into ensuring enough gazing suckers refused to call his claptrap.  Moaning from a street corner, the Senate, and the campaign trail substituted for feasible planning.  By comparison, acting is the one thing Donald Trump shares in common with Ronald Reagan.  He’s lived the role of a rich guy, as seen by all the glitz and pink marble around him.  Letting him be in charge of a hollow golden-painted egg with his name stenciled was as far as he should’ve gotten.

But he’s in the real boss’s chair now.  Trump has to act like a grownup. Being 70 is nothing more than a shallow indicator.  Actual maturity is not guaranteed by a certain number of trips around the Sun. Despite what Alex Jones may claim, that’s how our planet actually moves.

Regardless, it was way more fun for the president to note what the last guy with the job did wrong.  That was before the confidential briefing phase. Sometimes, a flip-flop results from realizing just how grave the situation is.  Knowing is half the battle, which makes it easy to dodge a shallow criticism lobbed from the crowd.  Feel free to still mock the president even if he backed down for our own good.

Personal Policy

Which party’s deities appeal to you?  Your soul’s final destination depends on the proper answer, so think carefully.  It doesn’t matter if they’re all jerks.  Like women last decade engaging in the regrettable habit of deciding which awful Sex and the City character embodied their personalities, you have to align yourself with a gross choice.  I like the one who’s a selfish and superficial person. That’s such a Miranda thing to say.

Political atheists are heathens who think ideas are more important than dudes. In these modern times, the people are the message.  The incumbent’s most devoted loathe his predecessor’s equivalents.  Yet they’re both worshipping very fallibly messiahs.  The right president will eliminate your worries just like promised in the Constitution and life.  I can’t find the clauses in question, but so many presume they exist that they must be real.

The bipartisan fixation on personality as the solution causes ample problems. They just differ on the guy.  Some approaches should be more distinct. There’s no political home if you dislike both Joe Besser and Curly Joe. It should feel liberating to not have to defend one of these crummy parties.  But both strive to clamp down on that loosey-goosey feeling where Americans can do as they wish.

Division on one side doesn’t multiply the other’s popularity.  Capitalism’s voluntary search for value leads to exchanges that are more than zero-sum games.  By contrast, politics lead to less.  Anyone gloating about Ayn Rand fans who dislike Trump should ask where the equivalent was with Obama.  Bernie fans are the closest to dissenters, and they’re merely more honest about being pinko rats.  Conservatives think their ostensible home party is too liberal.  Liberals think their side’s liberals aren’t liberal enough.  I’ve had enough, too.

We wouldn’t want a showman to con his way to the White House by manipulating a cult into thinking he’d make their lives better through executive orders.  I forgot which one I meant.  Politics is now about following the guy who promised salvation in exchange for fealty.  Like 1984 came true with the important distinction of happening voluntarily, the feudal system has been preserved by choice.  Serfs choose to farm for their dear lords. Why go off on one’s own?  There are bandits and plagues about. Besides, this is the classiest manor around.

Stop being contrarian and do as I wish.  You’re the jerk who’s keeping us from getting together.  Modern enlightened humans preen about how they’re above divisiveness. Dismissing anything foes think makes it easy.  If they claim the show between Friends and Seinfeld was awful, it must’ve been amazing, as nobody who dares disagree could ever claim something in good faith.

Smirking dulls perception.  Liberals should but don’t feel shame for how they gave atom-craving Iran more freedom than American insurance customers.  Now, they don’t realize we criticize Trump because he agrees with them.  Government as the solution is how contemporary presidents treat problems.  Parties don’t matter.  We’re all together, which is why everyone is so pleasant.  Some of us crabby dissenters criticize the incumbent for hypocritically using federal power as a conservative.  Actually, we call people like that liberals.

While you might be able to hit the Hells Angel with your iPhone, it’s a bet you should decline.  There’s all the difference in the world between what works and whether or not it’s a good idea.  A guy who’s a little too confident about his ability to alter human nature might not be trustworthy.

Saying the other side did it all wrong is how the previous and current president each got into office.  But the quarter-assed plans to warp reality through charisma aren’t suddenly validated with a party change.  Lame ideas can get the most electoral votes.  That’s the whole problem here, see. Panhandling works, too, but that doesn’t make it dignified.

Personality replaces ideology.  Even worse, voters go with jerks.  We gave up the right to be left alone so the most obnoxious in our ranks could instruct us vigorously.  Rights subject to the executive’s mood aren’t rights at all.  You’ll have to trust their interdictions on your decisions and spending, as the whims of our demigods are legally binding.

The seduction leaves autonomy heartbroken.  Government swells far past its proper boundaries as the benevolent quasi-king rules.  Mood swings inspired by the preferred cable news headlines turn out to not be the best way to get good results.  That’s especially apparent when watching the tantrums.  Obama had a plan while his successor prefers winging it.  Either way, we’re facing 12 years of constant supervision.  At least pick someone you’d trust to take in your mail while you’re on vacation.

Your Fault

The other side is going to make errors.  This is politics, after all. But this may be a better time to replace the engine rather than merely point out it fell off the wing.  Waiting for a party to screw up is very inspiring.  Well, at least it’s reliable.  The one thing bound to happen in politics is politicians trying stupid things.  The failure of comical schemes is guaranteed.  Still, it’s easier to prosper if things are certain to work properly.  It’s just hard to ensure with present manufacturing equipment.

Winning races is easy as long as the other side is full of idiots, too.  Of course, swooping in after the rival’s imbeciles tried to double the rent money on three-card Monte is not a new strategy.  But neither is pretending to be an outsider.

You can totally place your faith in a stalwart anti-politician with a plan to clean up this town.  The fact he inevitably ends up piping in more filth just means you didn’t believe hard enough.  Those who are shocked that those new to elected office just screw it up more blatantly should try to conceal their gullibility.  But that implies they’re capable of self-examination.

Exhausted modern folks are so lucky to have presidents who know what’s best for us.  Electing the smartest and most decent is surely proof that providence is on our side.  Divine intervention must occur every time we enter voting booths.  Otherwise, this great nation is stocked with cretins who just know a different label on the same dim plans will change it all.  For example, we’ve endured consecutive figureheads who won wholly on bitching about the other party.  The frenzy didn’t cause as much happiness as you’d think.  Promptly arming foes with tales of incompetence probably didn’t help.

People just know it’s going wrong.  But that’s not a solution.  Even simpletons can be aware of impending doom.  Just ask the president.  Feel free to note the meteors are entering the atmosphere, as that’s the easy part.  Shooting them down is far trickier.  Listen to sports talk radio for countless examples of diagnosing problems.  As for the roster moves that will improve a team’s fate, just know that present players stink.  Well, I can’t argue.

We could change to a driver with different acceleration patterns.  Someone who proposes how to hit the brakes is going to be outvoted.  But the guardrail gets veto power.  Solutions on both sides inevitably involve bossing around Americans more, as we don’t get enough of a hassle as a privilege of living in Earth’s freest nation as it is.  Plummeting chaotically is normal.  You’ve never had that sinking feeling before?

The actual alternative of scaling back is to be mocked as sorcery.  Why would you work for gold when our best alchemists synthesize it from mud?  Take it from a president who puts his name in the classiest metal color whenever possible.

The answers are simple, which makes them complicated to achieve.  A mere budget freeze would do wonders for our wallets and sense that we’re capable of filling them.  But politicians know that reducing the rate of spending increases will cause the Earth to be rendered uninhabitable even faster than via climate change.  Don’t doubt those so good at making money that they had to win elections to keep from starving.

Now, they’ll tell you how to manage your income so we can all enjoy it. That won’t stop all the stupid garbage they hope pursue. Wasting more of our money is their consolation prize for purchasing against our will. Well, that’s not fun. The unwillingness to purchase it voluntarily should tell them something.  What they hear is that previous confiscatory policies didn’t go far enough.  Please tell me how to get rid of everything for which I toiled so as to not be tempted by material goods.  What are you: selfish?

Please continue to think life can be perfected through commands.  Previous failures were just part of the buildup.  Next time, some pompously doltish politician’s plan will actually save humanity.  Until we get the exception, the intrusions will remain disastrous.  Predictability isn’t necessarily a virtue.

A different sticker changes the package’s contents.  Let’s try Republicans proposing the same intrusive framework as Democrats only while standing in front of a bald eagle mural to see if pretending it’s for America will help.  The fine political tradition of answering what changes one would make by pointing out all the preposterous junk the opponent attempted is just part of the scheme.  Convince them you’re slightly less atrocious.

Hollow Gold

There may not be comfort in knowing Donald Trump sucked, but at least the crash hurts less if you braced for it.  His classy blundering is not framed in the liberal sense of calling him a budding war criminal who should be impeached for being mean.  Instead, he should be loathed precisely because he acts like his nastiest critics.  It’s hard to appreciate irony while composing the Facebook post that’ll finally get the man they call Little Donny arrested.  Hating both sides has at least made life simpler.

A showman who mooches off government is a natural Democrat, which is why the incumbent spent far more time in the Party of Mondale.  Switching sides was the savviest move he’s ever made, although it doesn’t precisely indicate strongly-held values. As for the liberals who still get much of what they want, his parody of a heartless capitalist will fuel their delusions more than Watergate and the Tet Offensive combined.

Like he thought this term would be, familiarity with the golden president’s malleable nature wasn’t hard.  Anyone capable of reading text that’s longer than a tweet has known he was a shady character who sought the spotlight in a way that makes the Kardashians seem modest.

The exhausting show began long before he practiced for the Oval Office by dismissing minor celebrities from a chintzy boardroom set.  It remains surprising and deflating that there are voters who knew him as the Apprentice guy.  America still comes to terms with how many citizens saw him scold the American Chopper guy and thought “There’s a president.”

Our executive’s long history of mouthing off shouldn’t have been a revelation.  Trump exhausted me before I was in high school, which explains why I’m so sunshiny now.  To start, I remember a 20/20 interview in the late ’80s featuring a brash New York City real estate developer who had bigger gold-plated dreams.  I was a weird kid. Nonetheless, the profile of his dealings made young me curious about the personality type.  Was this brashness the way to go?  I quickly realized the answer was no.  Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.  I almost wonder if a loudmouth is compensating.

Abraham Lincoln’s skill as a writer is even more pronounced compared to the latest Republican president.  Following the news show’s interview, I tried to read The Art of the Deal and don’t ask for your sympathy.  The details of his amazing acquisitions were enthralling to some, I’m sure.  There’s something I share in common with him: I didn’t finish.  Offer a prize of of an unused Trump board game for anyone who has if they can prove it with a book report.  Bless anyone who’s tried to sludge through a dull tour of his remarkable ego for investigative purposes.  Those people don’t complain about waterboarding.

Looking supersedes bragging.  Voters could’ve chosen more wisely if only they spent three seconds investigating Trump’s bankrupt claims about Atlantic City, which you may not recognize as the glitzy rival of Las Vegas for the cosmopolitan gambler’s dollars.  That Taj Mahal sure sounded fancy.  Today, you can only monitor the peeling paint from the exterior of a place as deserted as Chelsea’s Clinton Foundation office. At least, it’s now officially so.  As New Yorkers, we do appreciate that he didn’t make the closest casino town too expensive so we can blow some cash nearby.  But some expensive hotel rooms are worth it.

What other random example tells the story perfectly?  Trump had the chance to give Americans more football, and he ruined it.  You can trust him if you’d like.  Pushing for the USFL to take on that more established pro football league was appreciated by Coke executives for making their formula change seem wise.  Sure, boasting while flubbing is totally not exactly what’s happened in his career and term since.  If he didn’t want us to keep citing obvious examples, he shouldn’t have created them.

Ever take a joke too far?  Teasing about running was how Trump measured the years passing.  He was off-putting on a more local and superficial level until fantasizing about being Earth’s most powerful man kicked in. He was never really into it, including when he won.  As with most of his curious projects, the announcement was supposed to be the end of it.  He got his attention and wanted to move on to the next vanity project.  But this isn’t marriage we’re talking about.

The spontaneous presidency may cause predictable reactions.  In exchange for coping, I’m remaining smug about being one of the Trump hipsters. We knew he was a conman before it was cool.  His boastful shtick was exhausting three decades ago.  Anyone learning so now can apologize by listening next time.  He’s only been yapping about how he’s Rich Jesus for as long as he’s been known.

Executively Unmannered

We’re more likely to get manners from this president than a clear ideology. Donald Trump is terribly predictable for someone with no idea what he’s going to say next.  While he technically doesn’t have the slightest clue what he’s doing, he does have personality.  And what a personality!  Those who find it charming have thankfully already segregated themselves from the rest of us.  Divisiveness isn’t as relaxing as you’d think.

Why would there be consensus about an escaped mental patient hiding in the Oval Office?  Distortion is our time’s signature.  You’ll have to trust me this once.  In an era where socialism is portrayed as people helping each other and Republicans are presumed to favor letting the market operate, presidential inexperience is framed as a virtue.

The specific lunacy conforms with general warping.  We see crudeness mistaken for candor, viciousness for fearlessness, front-running for dominance, lack of principles for flexibility, and the inability to profit off roulette for business acumen.  What we won’t see is the unfettered commerce that legally fell out of favor years ago.

The president does have a belief system if his own messianic greatness counts.  His faith has to be deep considering the lack of results. Pray to yourself until it works, sir.  For us heathens, we see someone who didn’t bother to learn how to approach issues during decades of mouthing off.  I’m sure it won’t catch up to him now, so that’s a good sign for our future.

The weak sense of what constitutes strength isn’t making anyone fear the flexing.  Other than that, it’s no wonder the nation is in such a pleasant state.  The mouthy charlatan who hopes nobody notices his bluster’s hollowness is strong like a bull and doesn’t need to arm wrestle you to prove it.

Temperament shouldn’t define policy.  Let’s figure that out in 2015.  Here in the present, some sweet fools are just learning that everything the president does is to compensate.  His caricature of triumph is as crude as his tweeting vocabulary.

Anyone could’ve noticed his pointless striving to appear as a winner no matter the game through his garishly ghastly design sense.  His architectural monstrosities blotting the skyline of unfortunately prominent cities combine the tackiest of Saddam Hussein with the gaudiest of Kim Jong-un.  It’s little wonder he’s willing to meet the latter, if only to discuss where he buys gold faucets.

He wallows in showiness because that’s what he thinks wealth is. What is it with these executives who don’t put their names in gold on all their properties?  They must be very insecure.  Mouthing off out of confusion over what constitutes toughness is the predictable result.  He doesn’t follow through because that’s who he is.

Frame a lack of paying attention as a sign of virtue.  Pragmatism is a way of announcing that someone has no principles.  Making it up as one goes along is more fun with training first.  Virtuosos don’t just happen.  Trump drops a tuba on his foot and calls it a solo. Ignoring details means never developing theories about what works. At least go with someone who’s shown he can fix problems if we must avoid a partisan.  Instead, America will win at chess by flipping the board.

The hollow empire has moved to the White House, as too many voters finally bought one of his items.  The rest of us are stuck without a warranty.  Anyone who’s noticed his previous transactions is unsurprised every presidential statement sounds like Bart Simpson describing Libya. The way he thinks he can charm his way through not knowing the answer was adorable to a certain segment of reality television show fans.  But being an amateur isn’t a virtue now no matter what Laura Ingraham claims on Fox & Friends.

The grating pitch only worked in his previous career because his product was himself, not real estate.  Worst, he’s a crummy item. Braggadocio shouldn’t be the first thing buyers seek.  But it works for gullible real estate customers and presidential favorability poll participants.  Closing his most recent sale can’t measure the dissatisfaction that followed.  Sadly, Mexico’s not as gullible as Trump Ice drinkers.  I hated what his dopey show’s popularity said about America.  I still don’t know how to classify what his presidency does.

Those who remain without a party will eventually cease our own boasting. To be fair, it’s about noticing what a hollow boaster the president is.  We’re seeing firsthand what happens when someone whose greatest skill is claiming how great he is gets to the White House.  In bipartisanship’s name, it’s actually the third straight term of it. Barack Obama and the incumbent have profoundly different styles of claiming they can fix it.  But the lack of results is the same.

Parties sharing a view means government’s about to disappoint us.  It’s profoundly liberal to rely on an individual to cure our ills. Liberals will freak out at any suggestion that they’ve ruined everything with unconstitutional silliness.  We may as well get the right to be left alone out of it.  Instead, a Republican president continues to courageously avoid doing his job.

Reducing Washington’s role would take nerve, and Earth’s straightest talker ducks the issue.  Anyone paying attention knows what Trump will do next.  That means he doesn’t.