Wrong in New Ways

Who wants to spend all day deciding?  Your self-appointed superiors have deemed which options are unpalatable.  You jerks won’t even thank them.  Don’t look at previous results like some insubordinate ingrate.  Making assumptions relieves us of burdens, including how the free market is sweet because you can go to either Subway or someplace good. The notion of liberty is itself is a false choice.  Eat your fake Italian hero while being glad the government picked the perfect doctor for you.

It’s bad enough that those who elbow their way into power always figure there’s only one solution that coincidentally involves giving them more. But they have to lobotomize us as well.  The regular elections of such overbearing doofuses aside, we should get to exercise the basic right of going with this and not that.  But those who think removing competition creates efficiency aren’t into our autonomy. They never try something else because they don’t know it’s possible.  At least that explains the stuffiness.

There’s no need to think liberals are evil just because they do so for us. Forget how we’re mass murderers because we want to fix their catastrophes.  Who wants to join them in hitting rock bottom?  Imagine saying “equality” with that dim smirk to scare oneself off the idea.  No, those who think Washington is proficient at repairs are simply misguided. Their refusal to think there may be another way explains the delusion, sort of.

Getting our options confiscated isn’t what we mean by costs versus benefits.  Federal bossiness is demonstrably inefficient at liberty’s expense, which free market fans note is not an ideal tradeoff.  Declaring simple unsupervised transactions to be appalling is how they maintain control.  It’s not just over us but their own minds.  Well, you try living with such beliefs.  Obamacare remains the only way to help each other, according to those who think churchgoers are icky.

Why do you want something to cost money? The government can just give it to you. And here you are claiming to understand finances. There’s never been a catch in the world’s history, right? See, the thing is that anything generated will incur expenses. We’ll cover supply and demand in the next lesson.

Until then, put “free” in quotes every time.  The government ruling that something is ours complimentarily makes it both worthless and more expensive.  Defying economics is their specialty.  Sure, reality doesn’t warp to their will.  But there’s no need to check results when you’ve shown how much you care via spending the income of others.

It’s not like liberals would ignore evidence.  You see the comatose economy despite attempts to revive it with unfathomable debt.  And news consumers are confused when campus lunatics are labeled mostly peaceful as they topple ATMs for the crime of being near a speaker they dislike.  But to them, noticing things is hateful accuracy.  Now excuse them as they fetishize science.

Feminist literature majors think the lab coat lady comes out and issues a proclamation that can never be disputed. Of course, there’s nothing more unscientific than declaring a subject can’t be questioned.  A conclusion doesn’t mean it’s concluded. Yet those who think gender is a feeling hate your guts for daring suggest we head back to the lab.  We can have a snack first.  Let’s check the government’s old food pyramid encouraging healthy Americans to stuff as many bread slices in their gullets as possible. Make a noodle sandwich to get high on carbohydrates.

Our kind and gracious political opponents presume we want the poor to starve.  There has to be some way to profit off it.  They don’t know how to make money, but this is presumably it.  Every Hollywood feature details how those who run companies are greedy dispensers of evil, and celebrities are notorious for their nonpartisan fairness.  Don’t listen to those foolish optimists who claim a better economy would mean fewer collective skipped meals, as they’re just hoping to make money by hoarding insurance from orphans.

Draining the economy to help it will raise the tide.  You landlubbers don’t notice the sea levels rising because you deny global warming.  Still, there could be another way to run the country than letting idiots tell us what to do every moment.

The present system of entrusting pompous dolts who resent the productive decide how money should be spent doesn’t seem to have helped.  But like Katy Perry fans who’ve never heard of the Ramones, some may not even know there’s a better option than misery.

All that spending buys nothing but dependency.  I know conventional wisdom has never been wrong, but maybe it’s time to ponder a solution that doesn’t make people so freaking resentful.  If central planning fails, more of it may not be the answer.  Lifetime government workers have never had to worry about overhead.  Why would they?  It’s not their money.

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