I want to set the coffee table afire.  I think it would look cool and provide an opportunity to properly cook marshmallows.  But my blaze may damage the living room, not to mention the rest of the house. Still, those opposed to indoor infernos should hear me out. Meanwhile, those high-minded enough to understand equivalence opine we should only burn half of it. We have no need to weigh both sides when one is unequal to the point of tipping the scales.  Those who want something really dumb don’t deserve 50 percent of consideration or a compromise.  Give them a moment before swiping in whatever’s the dismissed direction.

Money that appears from nowhere is turned into something amazing.  Soon. The contraption needs more currency to work, so wretch-killing sequester goons should be banished like they wish to do to the government.  We just have to believe in the power of vaporizing more money and stick to it.

By the logic of those who think any cut in the rate increase would harm the economy, spending even more would obviously work.  Instead, they think only a couple trillions of confiscated redistribution somehow causes the economy to grow. Make it a cool quadrillion in debt for unparalleled material success.

Sorry to see the world in black in white just because it is, but the principle either functions or it doesn’t.  We have limitless evidence for the latter when it comes to “federal” usually modifying “spending” and would possess even more if gloom could be measured.  But, as with jobs, some things are presently tough to grab. A deficit reduction still means more red ink on top of the unfathomable amount already spilled. Maybe 15 wine coolers will make us less sick than 17.

The middle ground is where we’re left the hell alone.  Ruin the country at a slightly slower rate to be called even-handed.  Wanting a slightly smaller amount of federal spending on nonsense isn’t the moderate position. Purported extremity in the direction of autonomy means people can indulge in liberty instead of spending half the work week.  The default setting should involve never encountering a federal employee, even for those who choose to not reside within cozy shacks in the woods.

If we’re going to subvert all we treasure, we should at least get some booty out of it.  Instead, the chest is as empty as our dreams.  The respect afforded to transparent foolishness is especially galling when compared to the atrocious circumstances presently accepted as normal.  Americans who persist in thinking spending your money helps you get rich are totally on the verge of helping us reach shared dreams.  Letting you pretend to keep some of your things seems like a fair compromise.

It’s not to be condescending, but we should be helping those who think contemporary life is fair and swell find mental treatment.  Due to Obamacare, it’ll be rare and expensive. Relinquishing autonomy for a crummy retirement plan isn’t as enticing as one might think.

A flimsy scheme won’t sort-of help if there’s a little less of it.  First, the avaricious anti-greed patrol doesn’t do a little of anything.  But be assured that people with no marketable skills are totally going to take what you worked for and get something useful.  Treat the scenario like it’s reasonable.

Equal coverage means stupid ideas should be held up for comparison.  The White House thinks that helps their case.  Their soft fascists don’t think there’s any opposition to their joyous policies.  After all, who could be against unlimited free insurance for poor people who won’t stay that way long thanks to benevolent handouts from a government that creates wealth by doling it out?  The delusions about the pleasantness they feel is widespread could only exceeded by the certainty we’re digging this.

The disparity between sweet goals and sour results warps everything.  The incumbent is grand marshal of an angry parade which throws rocks at those watching instead of Tootsie Rolls.  I wonder why there are any spectators left, although some take perverse joy in watching a disaster march past.

At least our enemies are happy.  Treating garbage views as valid pleases those who take glee in American suffering, especially since we’ve rocked for so long.  Waiting for the mighty to fall is easier than emerging from puniness.  There’s no need to pretend anyone daft has a valid point, especially considering how they scoff at policies that would clean up their messes.

The cheering section shouldn’t include our president, but this guy’s a special case.  At least Barack Obama shows why there’s no comparison between liberty and letting dolts choose for you.  Hopefully, he continues to make the case for the other side right up until the despondent end of this horrid term.  Give him a little more time so he can look even more foolish.  That’s fairness.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.