The case is cracked. Rock cocaine aficionado Hunter Biden put Delaware on the map by engaging in the family business. The real victim is the commander-in-chief’s aggrieved child who never got his sweetheart deal because kvetchers pointed out that evading discipline resembled impropriety. Does this mean the laptop’s real?
Democrats are thrilled they can pretend to care about law and order. Using an the president’s shameful offspring as evidence of their unflinching willingness to prosecute wrongdoers neglects how he’s the only one. You need three for a trend. But that’s a start. The sacrifice of a trial is for the party’s benefit, which the example surely appreciates.
The jury inadvertently voted to facilitate moral equivalency. Emboldened unhinged Biden defenders can smugly gesture to their enemy after noting someone on their side has to face a judge following being found naughty. The difference between Donald Trump and Hunter is that the latter actually committed a crime. I’m reliably informed that his father’s foe paying off his side piece porn star from the wrong pile is the worst transgression possible.
Aside from facts, the situations are identical. Patient observers must keep explaining the distinction to Democrats just like we must once again review that gun crimes occur uncannily frequently in places that restrict ownership of same devices.
As for a violator of the party’s preferred restrictions on shooties, Hunter’s offensive gun offense upset authorities just like how his side wants. Ignoring the rules in order to acquire a sentient crime-causing weapon of hate stands in direct defiance of their belief that laws stop criminals, which is his real infraction.
The simultaneous condemnation of Democratic policy shows why they don’t trust anyone with firearms. Subjecting him to his beloved party’s own stringent restrictions is only fair. I’d love for the Second Amendment to be absolute as intended, but I respect the wishes of the Party of Biden in the name of bipartisanship.
The party of projection thinks you’re a guilty schmuck. Democrats presume everyone else also disregards troublesome statutes like they’re basic economics. Yet some dissidents insist upon obeying laws while creating value. Such blatant mockery of exploiting power for personal gain is very embarrassing for the incumbent.
How was he supposed to make money: work? Hunter sets a dangerous precedent for fellow faction members who think the only way to get rich is by grifting. Uselessness isn’t bad enough on its own: the Bidens figure productive humans are the same, too. Thinking anyone else doing okay must’ve exploited their way to wealth is why Democrats are singularly devoted to taxing the stuffing out of success.
The Bidens are not a typical crime family: they can’t run a company. Every real account and fictional depiction of relatives in rackets features managerial competence. The government faced trouble prosecuting mafia families who cannily employed thriving pizzerias as fronts. Mafiosi should feel ashamed of embodying two stereotypes. Irish Joe strives to break them.
Impugn genetics or upbringing. Either way, Joe fails. A descendant may not necessarily embody parentage. Guardians can strive to raise children right and still see them go astray. But nobody can see how the patriarch conducts himself on days he remembers who he is and think he taught his contemptuous adult brat the right lessons. Go ahead and judge: the judge did.
It’s easy to spot unfortunate trends over generations. A particularly lousy president’s scoundrel kid bypasses statues for which he doesn’t care in the same way Dad buys votes by making taxpayers fund sociology degrees.
The felon is hooked on helping. If that’s a violation, then convict away. The shady nefariousness that envelops the First Son certainly doesn’t conceal the family scheme, which is terrific news for those who feared all those right-wing Twitter account holders were perceptive. They’re the same conspiracists who risibly claim the economy’s bad just because nobody can afford anything.
The Bidens embody selflessness if you count the one who got caught. As punishment for not founding the company, Hunter acted as the front man so the chief wouldn’t have to get his hands dirty. Like the rest of this presidency, there’s no greater priority than spreading attribution.
The verdict is satisfying even though it isn’t. Hunter’s passionate dedication to dodging taxes is an even bigger display of liberal hypocrisy. Prosecutors hope you’re satisfied enough about the verdict on the least appalling thing the defendant did to overlook how they thought soliciting bribes wasn’t even worse. No one is above the law, claim liberals referring to the president’s son facing justice for the least of his misdeeds.
It’s not a crime to turn people against Ukraine by treating a war against an invading brute as an opportunity to fill a political slush fund, but it is a feat in its own appalling way. The bagman by birth certainly wouldn’t send a vig from untoward shady global contributions to the boss who happens to share an identical last name, so escort such cynical thoughts from your mind.
Sure, the president is corrupt. But at least everything’s awful. It’s not like we get a scumbag scammer executive who manages to force prosperity in existence. The trains are certainly not running on time.
This term is an Intervention episode. The president struggles to read his letter. It’s tough to feel compassion for a criminal crackhead who justifies his passion for consumption on wanting to have endless heedless fun while lawbreaking. Hunter thanks those blaming his appalling disdain for the law and decency on addiction. A true embodiment of privilege can use all the excuses enablers can muster. You know you’ve really misbehaved if you’re prosecuted for a token sin during the Biden era.
Anthony Bialy 