Trump in Hand

A person known for simple grace and dignity is probably in charge.  We don’t vote like escaped mental patients, right?  Just in case we’ve had a years-long bout with daftness, we can at least hope the president is doing as told.  That’s just leadership.

Donald Trump going along with whatever Republicans hand him is the only time he’s amicable.  The willingness to stamp anything in arm’s reach makes life easier, and a guy handed a glittery quasi-empire before taking the presidency by accident is obviously interested in taking the easiest path.

Pretend to be leading in a reflection of our time.  The man who’s technically president is fine with the charade as long as he’s allowed to have credit.  He’s gone from boasting about questionable deals to hosting the most inane of reality television to the presidency.  Why should life change for him now?  Don’t disrupt a senior citizen’s routine.

It turns out what’s been called the establishment is semi-conservative.  The definition is a Republican you don’t like.  At least the legislature’s initiative is showing citizens how a bill becomes a law, as we could use the civics lesson.  The executive contributes by going along with what Congress wants.  For him, that’s as close as he’ll get to acting like a leader.

It’s not that our president is only childish: he’s also juvenile.  The prepubescent 71-year-old is very healthily obsessed with projecting strength.  Imagine an actual conservative who knew the issues for a brief respite from our strange and stupid timeline.

As for this demented Earth, we’ve decided that leading on issues is for competent bores.  Forced to operate clandestinely, they pass along needed legislation to a nearby branch.  The man staffing it is too busy giving CNN stooges the exact sort of invective they want to quote in their Twitter bios to pay attention to the process.

The president will draw his name on any sheet slapped in front of him. Reading is for servants.  He could be handed one proclaiming Thursdays to be illegal, and the ink wouldn’t be dry before we somehow got to the weekend already.  He could read much of it if desired.  Researchers who’ve examined his Twitter feed have concluded he knows at least 300 English words.

It’s almost like America elected an amateur who doesn’t have political stances.  Let’s give him through the halfway point of the first term to confirm.  But the malleability offers upside.  The election of an oft-liberal with zero principles turns out to be a good time to get conservative policies into law.  He’s really into taking credit, so let him stamp at the end of the assembly line.  Since the only thing that works is slicing bits off our lumpy government, hand him the cleaver to make it exciting.

Make sure there’s a camera focused on Trump: the law doesn’t count unless it makes the news.  Tell him he’s signing autographs to ample fans, as that would be the best way to get any deregulation left on the agenda.  Print out Obamacare repeal on a red hat so he’ll tag it.

Let our puffy semi-leader pretend he’s running free while yanking his chain.  Be conscientious about motivating the guy who dedicated his life to slapping the family name on every vertical surface he could find.  It’s not to accuse Trump of being some sort of obnoxious showman.  But it may be that all he cares about is the perception.

Is there a spare captain’s hat around?  The little guy could use the projection of authority.  Constitution fans just have to convince him that he’s exercising authority as the branches finally balance.  This presidency is like Dwight steering the ship during the booze cruise.

Congressional Republicans can get anything they want as long as they let a glory hog pretend it was his idea.  Sure, it’s unfair that the man claiming to be at policy’s vanguard never read a Thomas Sowell book or learned who he is.  But he could inadvertently shove policy along.  A guy who’s never heard of the fair tax would be taking credit for it if Congress handed him a vote.  He’s used to skipping out on bills and settling it with lawyers.  Instead of vendors, it’s the nation that gets screwed.

Trump spent his life imitating a CEO, so there’s no reason to quit now.  He wouldn’t do much heavy lifting even if he knew what the job he presently holds entails.  So, get it on his desk now.  Put it on top of the coloring books to be sure he sees it.

Those actually responsible for getting work done will have to accept toiling in obscurity as its own reward.  Who cares about anything as trifling as reality?  I thought he didn’t worry about partisanship. But to Trump, politics consists of being told he’s the best for any results that are swell.  Let him get the glory, as that’s why he ran in the first place.  We’ll get the laws we want.  Don’t let him know we’re pleased.


Nothing But Untruth

What is truth?  I’ll conduct a poll.  My followers will know.  Pontius Pilate would’ve loved Twitter, as it’s a chance to outsource morality while pretending to not know right from wrong.  I don’t know how many tweets it’d take to share the Bible, but I’m sure the Kardhasians pass along just as much moral wisdom.

Those most opposed to objectivity are naturally in the worst job for it. Embarrassing Donald Trump should be as easy as noting how interesting his hair is.  But journalists can’t even manage to convince their audience that the guy with the giant shoes is a clown. They are good at self-humiliation.  There’s no reason to pay a dominatrix.

This particular president is so easy to mock that even Saturday Night Live can do it.  Getting under his skin should take even less effort than the typical communications major usually invests. But it also requires being levelheaded, and that’s tough when they’re more important than the ordinary people they cover doing things.

Our guardians of truth are not quite engineering majors.  The typical media stenographer thinks he’s much more important than dummies who make sure bridges don’t collapse.  Compensate with self-righteousness as is the contemporary style.  A reporter will do so by pretending to understand infrastructure despite never having touched a math textbook even when it was needed it to pass.  Who needs to learn addition to cover stories about the economy?

Hindering the Trump presidency is as easy as noting his random tweet capitalizations.  All journalists would need is to be calm.  So, forget it.  The frenzy to smear a slob leads to sloppiness.

As typical liberals, journalists think sanctimony tops thinking clearly. There’s no need to check results when you know you’re right.  Cultish delusion leads to them being as rabid as the mean dog they claim they’re containing.  It’s sort-of their only job to get it right, as if it could get any worse than their claim that two plus two equals potato.

Life is meaningless and there are no rules.  Do you feel better?  There’s nothing worthwhile in this desolate universe, so embrace the vacuum. It should be fun to make up things, yet nobody seems to be enjoying themselves.  Being bad isn’t even fun when it’s normal.  Behave and follow the rules to be a true rebel.  Go on social media and say something pleasant to a person you admire to really blow minds.

It’s hard to maintain standards when our lord and savior Oprah is speaking of  “Your truth.”  Do you trust the person in front of you at the Target self-checkout to define reality?  Everyone decides individually what they know is right, which explains why we get along so well.  Proclaiming that gender is a decision and poverty is inescapable means compassion are the price of ignoring results.  Other than that, it’s all upside.

Our eternal fates are now being determined by shockingly openminded souls who have decided objective truth doesn’t exist.  Same truth doesn’t care whether or not people accept it.  The indifference shocks those who thrive on believing their opinions alter the universe.

Spot those with the most malleable takes by how they have the most rigid outlooks.  Those who note how they’re quite tolerant don’t permit dissent from their opinions.  See, everyone who disagrees is bigoted, which is almost a neat trick.  Hating dissenters is the only thing they believe cannot be denied.  It must feel confusing to condemn icky notions such as right and wrong while claiming you must believe only the government can help sick kids.

Progressive reactionary journalism is what happens when you decide your role is to take down someone you dislike more than you like reporting facts.  The latter just seems dull.  If you want excitement, go into archaeology like Indiana Jones.  If that sounds like too much schooling, there are also many exciting opportunities in the fast food register jockey business, at least for the next couple months until touch screens help customers while punishing minimum wage increases.

Lawyers thank journalists for improving their reputation by comparison.  At least the former succeeds at predation. CNN stooges only look like awkward dorks as they bungle the simplest details.  If they claimed it stands for Cable News Network, I wouldn’t believe it.

Nobody else knows how to drive, claims the dispatch on location from the ditch.  That’s normal in the era of helping the other side through criminally stupid unforced errors. The media excels at explaining how great they are.  They’re not going to actually provide examples, as that’s not their job. What are they going to do: confirm assertions?  Journalists will explain how to walk as soon as they get their shoes tied.  Jim Acosta will need an intern.

One Way Out

You’d think we’d be happier now that we don’t have to debate.  There’s only one way to approach issues, according to those with a zero percent success rate. That is a decrease of infinity percent, which is so impossible that we shouldn’t even try.

People who think there is no question have the worst answers.  The shady solutions of those who presume intervention is the only option are as axiomatic as the government’s tendency to turn earnings into nothing.  The zen-like devotion to avoiding material temptations should be something for which we all strive.

Spot delightful fans of human ingenuity by how they think federal action is the only way.  The notion that the liberty to earn and trade could reduce problems is frightening to modern cave-dwellers.  Only spells can control the unknown, so consult your appointed sorcerer instead of foolishly heaving a sharpened stick at a predator.

It’s natural to despise anyone who dissents if you never realized there’s another possibility.  The very kind implications behind calling limited-government fans mass murderers aren’t a coping mechanism or anything.

Washington is to life what Bill Nye is to science.  Calling himself some sort of guy doesn’t make it true. It’s fine to think markets won’t fix everything, although noticing how the government works should frighten even the most ardent Keaton parents into becoming Alexes. Cheery contemporary politics are defined by an unwillingness to even think it’s possible.  How could you solve a problem that hasn’t even happened yet?  That’s why we elect people to fix the future, you silly anarchist.

The most shameless approach possible somehow doesn’t inspire confidence.  Intellectual conscience Jimmy Kimmel parading his poor kid to make the government give more control over health care for children doesn’t make the intended recipients well.  I know that the law promised and everything.  Falling for such lofty promises shows how human he is.  Sure, it means being a dim, sanctimonious human. But our species has a wide spectrum of traits.

As the person who only lived near a Subway learned, getting one option is gross.  That’s unless socialism works as well as the cool kids allege.  They’re always right, presuming they copied their homework answers from nerds correctly.

You’d think those who inflict the worst policies imaginable would be humble.  But they’re too busy preening to notice anything as trivial as results.  Government might not actually be helping minimum wage workers by pricing their jobs out of existence.  You might think checking results matters to empathy pimps.

Life is extra fun when people who think humanitarianism means getting people hooked on government treat dissenters as Satan’s minions.  Let’s have a nice discussion where anyone who believes in natural rights is damned. The debate between people who think federal intervention is wasteful and people who think noticing such is monstrous has become as stimulating as imagined.

It’s easy to win arguments if you never think the other side has a valid one.  Close your mind to be victorious 100 percent of the time.  The strategy is as wise as thinking the indigent wouldn’t get insurance without Chuck Schumer’s vote.  Those who have never contemplated that there could be a sort of market powered by freedom rationally presume lack of political action means dead orphans. We’re stuck with semipermanent bleakness because they won’t accept even the possibility of alternatives.  But we all have opportunities confiscated, and that promotes egalitarianism.

If there’s only going to be one option, it should be a better one than this.  Socialism’s nearly-clever trick is eliminating other choices. Well, nobody’s going to prefer the post office to FedEx.  Humans spent most of last century combating the notion that forced cooperation leads to anything but misery and corpse piles.  But dedication to believing leads to magic according to many popular Hollywood features.

Placing faith in government is misguided, especially when it’s this government.  Yes, that means I hate equality and poor street urchins getting to live.  But the chaos only leads to mirth.  Refusing to coerce economic activity or charity means you’re beholden to corporate interests, according to many sophisticated Twitter replies.  Such wizardry used to be called commerce, but that term may be frowned upon for political incorrectness.

The refusal to concede that lack of federal action could also be compassionate exacerbates everything it’s purportedly designed to fix.  That just means more victims to care about, which is all they wanted.  Refusing to trust that humans can address their own problems leads to more of them.  Feeling concerned is what politics is all about.

National Insecurity

True wealth comes in being content.  Donald Trump is broke.  He will settle for having as much money as he claims he does.  Did you remember him telling you the precise figure daily?  I miss when he was merely running for president.

I’m not here to judge human nature, but boasts occasionally conceal troubles.  Letting others know how much money you have means you don’t have as much as claimed.  You don’t need to announce if it’s real.  Flashing a billfold is exactly what a successful person wouldn’t do.  The executive’s going to get mugged, and he has the nuke codes written on one of those bills.

I hate to undermine the president’s confidence.  He would claim he has an abundance if he knew what that word meant.  Trump’s insecurity defines everything he does, which unfortunately means we get to endure Oval Office tantrums.  He’ll cite polls which confirm how cool he is, as popularity means quality in these advanced times.  The standard has been set by a president who engages in wholly sophisticated thought processes as habit.

But why does someone nervous proclaim he’s so great?  Also, why do people want precisely the thing they can’t have?  Confidence that’s totally not for show is manifested in boasting.  It’s hard to hate such a jerk, even if he deserves it.  In fact, it’s truer to feel sorry for such a pathetic flashy show.  On the other hand, it’d be easier to summon pity for someone compensating for his own performance worries if it didn’t lead to international crises.  Diplomacy seems unnecessary until it’s gone.

Our dated president is wed to an idea formed around 1983 that it was important to be told that he was good at things.  They’re the only vows he honors.  Of course, actual success requires the precise opposite.  It’s tough to learn to do a good job without demanding public recognition, but the urge to demand attention usually passes around age 16.  In other cases, it lasts past prom season and right up to being president.  Enjoy your first day on Earth if you couldn’t spot how putting his name in gold is an obvious psychological crutch.

Tantrums distract from tangible accomplishments.  So, his strategy is working well.  Astute voters could’ve recognized such during a primary whose surreal nature distracted from the horror.  His pathological need to claim he had exactly $10 billion is his greatest qualification.  Having eight figures satisfied some arbitrary numerical lust.  Every exhausting boast makes the public crankier.  Lack of sleep makes it hard to monitor the government for which he serves as head of state.  But I’m sure they haven’t wasted $20 trillion and more.

Predictable volatility would make a fortune in the stock market.  The only easier way to profit would’ve been short-selling Trump Entertainment Resorts.  A president should make James Bond seem high-strung. Instead, he’s easier to provoke than Kurt Eichenwald on Twitter.

The president should be focused on learning that we have a Bill of Rights.  Instead, he seeks reporters to needle.  We just know that he’s going to tweet about something he should’ve let pass, which would be a bad career move for a restaurant host.  It’s nothing against food service, but the presidency involves a large party.

The chart predicts the future.  Sadly, there’s no way to profit unless rueful awareness makes one feel rich soulfully.  Those confused souls who think the executive’s screaming obeys no pattern are unable to figure out how the DVR works.

Trump’s triggers are easy to pull.  Noting an angry tweet with odd capitalization and curious assertions is about to appear is as easy as being aware that Bill Clinton will pursue a cocktail waitress.

The incumbent is most obvious pysch case since the previous president. Seeing oneself as a different sort of savior may be a common tendency among those deranged enough to seek the highest office, but it doesn’t mean we should humor them.  The only surprise is why anyone can’t believe it now.  Dedication to cult membership doesn’t impress outsiders.

Some of us could’ve told you years ago that the present president is a particularly moody teen girl.  This is not to insult moody teen girls, who have a right to be emo on account of not having dealt with the world before.  Our elderly president’s biggest victim isn’t him.   He ended up getting a job whose decisions affect us all, which is just great for an egomaniac who doesn’t trust himself.  His insecurity leads to the same with America.  Foreign policy shouldn’t be so cranky.


Are you spending properly?  It’s none of my business.  And my definition of how to blow cash is at best perverse and at worst a recipe to have one’s soul condemned.  But it’s not any politician’s concern, either. The legal right doesn’t overlap with what’s right to legally inflict.  Nobody cares, as the distinction between what does and should happen was lamentably settled in the ancient times of 2015.

Treating taxes as bribes is like giving Kevin James another sitcom: we’re so used to it that we don’t even think about what a bad idea it is.  Handouts based on whatever’s deemed cool is a guaranteed way to advance society.  Does it feel futuristic?

Deciding what should get subsidized is way better than in barbaric eras when simple people noticed the government sucked at everything and thus deserves as damn little revenue as possible.  People either forgot money belongs to those who earned it or never bothered learning in the first place. Sure, flattening the rate means payments would go up for some promoted behaviors. But the percentage would drop overall.  I don’t know about you, but I am for equality.

The taxman should be permitted to collect the smallest amount necessary to keep a 50-watt bulb lit at one federal agency.  Call me a statist. I don’t like the idea of there being multiples, so they can share the lamp if there must be extras.  Or, drones could get their work done in daylight.  Don’t these resource hogs care about Mother Earth’s fragility?

It may be tough to believe in a world where nothing is more dangerous than free will.  But the government is not supposed to encourage behavior.  Sure, a curious look from a cop may make a wayward soul from leaving a convenience store with only a Slim Jim and not the register’s contents.  That said, selling one’s own things for profit is not a crime.  While Democrats try to change our nature, the principle remains.

The only goal of policy should be a result, not intent.  A tax code should do nothing other than let you keep as much of you earned while living your life as you please.  An indifferent government encourages prosperity that’s eternally elusive.  The fact it’s hard to find because of the very system arrogant people try to rig to achieve it creates irony, at least.

It’s time to stop wondering what people would do with the money they earn.  First, someone else’s wallet’s contents shouldn’t concern anyone. Burn it if you like.  Or send it to Washington, as it’s the same thing.  More importantly, spending helps others, unless retail workers and warehouse staffers don’t need to buy food.  Or maybe rich jerks invest it in stocks or their companies.  That just leads to stupid corporate titans employing people while offering affordable products. It’s more compassionate to wait for checks from the Treasury.

Incentivizing one thing or another means letting politicians who shouldn’t be trusted to watch a Salvation Army kettle decide what sort of conduct is to be encouraged.  Life then runs as smoothly as expected. Cite when elected dopes have been wise about deciding what’s good for us.  It was the same time I liked that Coldplay song so much that I taped it off the radio.

Even the good things don’t need federal encouragement.  The whole point of simple decency is that we can interact and assist without waiting for a rebate.  It’s fine if you need a policy to tell you what you should like. But others shouldn’t have to pay for the orders.  Hire a life coach. I accept returnable beer cans as payment.

Every deduction is someone telling us what we’re supposed to do.  And it’s not even someone smart despite what they modestly assure us.  Name one political party good at deciding how our lives should be.  There aren’t that many options to cycle through.  All two of them refuse to let you keep enough to fund your own existence.  Ask nicely for a little back to do what you would anyway.  They give a smidgen of cheese for different tasks, which is how you decide what kind of partisan you are.

Heartless libertarians oppose having services.  Why are they so into anarchy? They must think death is cool.  Taxes are what buy electricity, oxygen, and gravity.  Conservatives don’t want to have these things because they hate life itself.  But it’s all in good faith.

Presume that government has always provided our dreams and items.  What else could’ve happened?  This is why we don’t follow history anymore. Those hoary savages relied on themselves, and the notion is too horrifying to maintain.  Primitive man relied on hideous maneuvers involving sweat, action, and inventiveness.  The direct funding was too creepy.  I don’t know who’s funding it presently.  Just kidding: all this totally free cash magically emanates from the government, and they’re the best at finances despite that 20 trillion dollars for nothing binge.

Our coded tax code should be without little schemes.  That means it’s involved virtually not at all.  And that’s the point.  Not providing fake rebates for how and where you live or what particular career you enjoy would mean we were unbothered.  But at least we’re being shoved for good reasons.

Outlet Let Out

Fair and balanced gets trickier with every Donald Trump tweet.  They’re technically presidential.  Trump fans and conservatives are like that married couple that constantly bickers yet loves each other deep down, aside from the love part.  You’d think they’d be getting along.  But then you’d think that the most superficial reports our dumb media can generate are accurate.

Common contempt isn’t enough, even if it’s fun to tick off liberals.  Those crabs don’t even know why they’re angry, other than knowing everyone who disagrees is Adolf Pence.

News broadcasts can leave out fans of letting a clumsy and occasionally malicious government meddle in our affairs.  Let me dream.  Their wholly reasonable argument is that foes hate the poor so much they want them to die.  If that sounds like an exaggeration, you may be new to Twitter.  But at least you’re lucky enough to have never seen Jimmy Kimmel’s hilarious monologue. I wish I cared enough about the underprivileged to keep them that way.

It used to be the excuse against bias was the one network that had populist hosts yelling at liberals.  Feel free to pretend there’s still one channel for right-wingers.  Wallowing in tales of saying Merry Christmas and school kids getting suspended for making finger guns doesn’t count.

You’ll just have to look for small-government fantasies on an app, as Fox News does no such thing.  Defending an oft-liberal president like they’ll be sent to a North Korean prison camp if they’re not enthusiastic enough isn’t quite in the spirit of Bill Buckley.  Placing that much faith in a politician is profoundly statist.  But it is easier to let a president think for you.

The most tiresome civil war possible involves people who everyone watching from the outside thinks are best pals.  In truth, the difference between Republican and conservative has never been starker, especially with the rather un-conservative Republican who vaulted all those dumb experienced hopefuls to get hired for the top job.  Please don’t associate us with Sean Hannity or his guests, as life is depressing enough without rabies.

Republicans bicker with each other seem to be scrimmaging.  But the contrast between who believes in an ideology and who believes in the game show host has never been starker.  It only sounds like it’s biased.

Arguing with confused souls who think they’re conservative even though they agree with everything a meddlesome boor demands isn’t advancing anything but anger.  Do you know how hard it is to debate those who doesn’t realize why they’re bickering?  At least it explains why everyone is so tired all the time.

There’s good news if you wanted an example of the perils of presuming an individual represents a political movement.  It’s especially bad for this particular individual.  Trump got here by crudely imitating what he thinks is conservatism.  Now, he’s a standard-bearer for liberty through properly limiting government.  I’ve been reading the president’s thoughtful essays on natural rights, and I’m heartened to know how he realized enabling personal autonomy is a blow to tyranny. Or, I just skipped Think Big and Kick Ass, whatever.   Asking a tennis pro to play quarterback leads to the rating you’d expect.

People believe it’s easy to define sides.  That includes the president. Easy demarcations are just what Trump wants.  He’s big into simple. But he’s made it as complicated as possible.  Blame the refusal to think anything through, which is usually seen as a negative in employees and especially for presidents.

Trump is despised by liberals who want to show how confused they are.  Like everything else they believe, results are inadvertent.  The stammerers don’t notice how often he uses their precious government to shove around the economy.  Our president decides what gets stimulated in a fetish he’s pursued for decades.  Presidents have never broken a promise before.  After all, look who’s head of state. Don’t ask about his marriage vows.

There’s nowhere for conservatives to get news, at least not without reading. And who likes books with all those words?  Trump zealots clash with true believers who think Washington is good at spending.  It’s true if the goal is to make money disappear.  Either way, nobody’s making the case that we deserve to be forgotten by authorities.

Wary viewers have to check each contributor for alliance to either principles or a particularly vulgar human who bluffed his way to the executive suite.  It’s horrid enough he did so on Fifth Avenue. Spending four years asking how he got to Pennsylvania Avenue is a good question, not to mention good television.  But producers would rather have two different kids of big government fans explain how much they hate each other.  I guess it’s good to watch less.  Let’s look at tweets all day instead.

One Bad Answer

Why don’t you care?  It’s probably because you’re such a jerk.  Primitive folks used to think it was reasonable to dissent, and they tragically didn’t argue enough.  That’s why they’re all dead.  It’s important to establish that only one solution will work, as that leads to unity. That dubious claim is popular among those who advocate particularly silly ones.  Consistency can be overrated.  The same very tolerant people who maintain they respect everyone aren’t into hearing alternative opinions.

The health care guarantee has only proven that a promise from a politician isn’t going to cure disease.  In fact, never learning that everything the government promises will end up hurting feelings is the worst illness of all. It’s depressingly contagious.

It’s now better to be a fool than be in favor of children suffering. Well, that doesn’t seem fair.  But facts can’t beat feelings anymore. The assurance that quality can be maintained by diktat has caused tremendous agony, but that’s because we haven’t obeyed correctly.  It can’t be that the best way to care for sick kids is to make it easy for parents to buy their own insurance.  Ask those in housing projects what federal help is like to feel deflated.

There’s a maximum effort to make minimum wage hard to get.  Slackers do everything they can to get paid as much as possible before working.  Menial workers want more, so make the rate higher.  Duh!  It’s like you never learned mathematics.

Sure, some dorks claim the addition doesn’t add up.  A high starting pay is more than those jobs generate, throws off the pay scale, and makes it harder to earn raises.  But do we really care about the poor if we’re not forcing businesses to fork over too much because of sob stories about parents raising families for years on a cashier’s salary?

The wrong idea is getting promoted instead of the right people.  The presumption that workers are stuck in their first jobs naturally causes misery.  Such a static view of life that explains why those who risibly defy finance are as cheery as they are.  We can’t let people start with whatever an employer will offer someone with no skills or experience.  Proving they deserve more sounds like hard work.  Expecting whatever you decide a living wage should be is an attitude suitable to advancement.

I wish you opposed murder.  Sure, overpopulation is destroying our precious Gaia as surely as our desire to keep on the heat while it blizzards outside.  But we only want the right people eliminated for nature’s sake.  Humans blasting each other doesn’t count.  Guns are attaching themselves to innocent hands and firing at innocent bystanders, which really are the only kind.

Bad guys may break the rules.  Yes, it hurts our sense of righteousness to contemplate.  But we may ave to face a reality where certain mean types violate societal norms as a regularity.  I’d like to give wayward souls benefit of the doubt over occasional slip-ups, but that’s how I got my dirt bike ripped off last time.

Law-abiding suckers stick to regulations designed to thwart those who violate by definition.  It’s almost as if thinking another background check solves human nature actually creates more victims.

The most open-minded presume their enemies are out to crush the poor. It’s fine to disagree that people who earn money are best at spending it, although that requires presuming a government that’s to efficiency what Jimmy Kimmel is to funny monologues will become thrifty.  But the media helpfully decided that only the government could help logically thinks any cut means dead babies.  While they could just accept that others have an idea of what works, it would throw off their idea of balance.

I’ll never tire of hearing that we’re against equality for not wanting to make someone bake.  Evil homophobes need constant reminders.  Letting a private retailer act as it wishes is the new bigotry, according to many fascinating Twitter accounts operated by poor souls who don’t realize the free market marginalizes the intolerant.  But we’d have to trust consumers, and that’s a frightening precedent.

Those who trust liberty to improve our lot must really loathe humanity with all that trust.  Lack of intervention is conflated with lack of compassion.  The same people whose policies cause tremendous pain not why changing them would devastate the indigent.  If they’re trying to create more people to help, then I offer my congratulations.

The one thing worse than self-righteousness is self-wrongedness.  Our most irksome fellow humans decided they’re the only ones who want to lift up others despite overwhelming evidence they nudged us off the diving board.  All that crotch-kicking may not elevate the targets. We need to increase funding for the victims of naughty bit soreness.