A person known for simple grace and dignity is probably in charge. We don’t vote like escaped mental patients, right? Just in case we’ve had a years-long bout with daftness, we can at least hope the president is doing as told. That’s just leadership.
Donald Trump going along with whatever Republicans hand him is the only time he’s amicable. The willingness to stamp anything in arm’s reach makes life easier, and a guy handed a glittery quasi-empire before taking the presidency by accident is obviously interested in taking the easiest path.
Pretend to be leading in a reflection of our time. The man who’s technically president is fine with the charade as long as he’s allowed to have credit. He’s gone from boasting about questionable deals to hosting the most inane of reality television to the presidency. Why should life change for him now? Don’t disrupt a senior citizen’s routine.
It turns out what’s been called the establishment is semi-conservative. The definition is a Republican you don’t like. At least the legislature’s initiative is showing citizens how a bill becomes a law, as we could use the civics lesson. The executive contributes by going along with what Congress wants. For him, that’s as close as he’ll get to acting like a leader.
It’s not that our president is only childish: he’s also juvenile. The prepubescent 71-year-old is very healthily obsessed with projecting strength. Imagine an actual conservative who knew the issues for a brief respite from our strange and stupid timeline.
As for this demented Earth, we’ve decided that leading on issues is for competent bores. Forced to operate clandestinely, they pass along needed legislation to a nearby branch. The man staffing it is too busy giving CNN stooges the exact sort of invective they want to quote in their Twitter bios to pay attention to the process.
The president will draw his name on any sheet slapped in front of him. Reading is for servants. He could be handed one proclaiming Thursdays to be illegal, and the ink wouldn’t be dry before we somehow got to the weekend already. He could read much of it if desired. Researchers who’ve examined his Twitter feed have concluded he knows at least 300 English words.
It’s almost like America elected an amateur who doesn’t have political stances. Let’s give him through the halfway point of the first term to confirm. But the malleability offers upside. The election of an oft-liberal with zero principles turns out to be a good time to get conservative policies into law. He’s really into taking credit, so let him stamp at the end of the assembly line. Since the only thing that works is slicing bits off our lumpy government, hand him the cleaver to make it exciting.
Make sure there’s a camera focused on Trump: the law doesn’t count unless it makes the news. Tell him he’s signing autographs to ample fans, as that would be the best way to get any deregulation left on the agenda. Print out Obamacare repeal on a red hat so he’ll tag it.
Let our puffy semi-leader pretend he’s running free while yanking his chain. Be conscientious about motivating the guy who dedicated his life to slapping the family name on every vertical surface he could find. It’s not to accuse Trump of being some sort of obnoxious showman. But it may be that all he cares about is the perception.
Is there a spare captain’s hat around? The little guy could use the projection of authority. Constitution fans just have to convince him that he’s exercising authority as the branches finally balance. This presidency is like Dwight steering the ship during the booze cruise.
Congressional Republicans can get anything they want as long as they let a glory hog pretend it was his idea. Sure, it’s unfair that the man claiming to be at policy’s vanguard never read a Thomas Sowell book or learned who he is. But he could inadvertently shove policy along. A guy who’s never heard of the fair tax would be taking credit for it if Congress handed him a vote. He’s used to skipping out on bills and settling it with lawyers. Instead of vendors, it’s the nation that gets screwed.
Trump spent his life imitating a CEO, so there’s no reason to quit now. He wouldn’t do much heavy lifting even if he knew what the job he presently holds entails. So, get it on his desk now. Put it on top of the coloring books to be sure he sees it.
Those actually responsible for getting work done will have to accept toiling in obscurity as its own reward. Who cares about anything as trifling as reality? I thought he didn’t worry about partisanship. But to Trump, politics consists of being told he’s the best for any results that are swell. Let him get the glory, as that’s why he ran in the first place. We’ll get the laws we want. Don’t let him know we’re pleased.