Month: June 2023

Never Not No Trump

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

It takes effort to be loathsome while resisting someone so contemptible.  Never Trump grifters remain as objectionable as the enemy who remains their sole purpose years after his tantrum upon losing to Joe Biden ended his career.  They hate to hear that, so be sure to repeat it to them.

A debate with options where neither is particularly fun at least summarizes out times.  Were the smarmy buffoons liberals the whole time or just sellouts whose guiding principle is churning out whatever dreck donors will pay them?  Both philosophies are just lovely in their way.

It’s at least fun to mock the soulless dispatchers and bulwark custodians like determining who’s the worst Cleveland Browns draft pick.  But players presumably wanted to play well even if it seemed like they only wanted to collect paychecks.

Gatherers of gold who allegedly resist the equivalent are worst mercenaries available.  Effete quasi-elites who struggle to lift their tweeting devices are not about to win your war.  Pleasing the daft wealthy dopes who are keeping them afloat is their only victory, and it sure feels Pyrrhic.  Besting Hillary Clinton is another uncanny parallel.

People who’ve read the Constitution are punished for not joining either cult.  Members seemed a bit pushy even before we asked about day care and gym discounts.  If you just wanted somewhere to serve as an oasis for respecting federal limits, you’ve been enjoying life on the road as a nomad.

Our quite same times feature shrieking liberals freaking out about the most liberal Republican president around.  True dissenters didn’t want to join a GOP bully cult, either.  An unwavering ideology was supposed to be the whole point.  For some, the guiding mantra was to rake in cash by exploiting whoever was in a lather.

Government sucks.  Some things remain consistent.  The party that ostensibly exposes its eternal expansion doesn’t become cool while wielding authority.  Remaining in favor of cutting federal spending in half as a good start to cutting it by 95 percent.

Values remain constant for constant people.  The question of whether it’s better to abandon them for a quick cash infusion or reflexively disagree with whatever a wayward ex-president spews is a debate for the august pages of a stalwart ether journal.

The resistance unit despises Trump so much that they became liberals.  They make as much sense as each other.  One of the countless cases against him as the Republican standard-bearer is his fondness for invasive government.

An all-time buffoon’s capricious lust for autocracy came about either because he’s a fan of an intrusive state or just because he likes pretending he’s a strongman boss.  I don’t know what excuse his sworn foes use.

Delivery means nothing for the unstylish.  Both factions of alleged conservative standard-bearers argue for federal invasiveness.  Agreeing with Democrats in order to resist a surly executive whose policies sure often sounded similar is the sort of skirmish each side deserves.  Unfortunately, the collateral damage only starts with increased unfathomable debt.

One thing not getting promoted is adherence to the Constitution.  Fighting for liberalism is just what the villain in question wants as long as he’s the one who gets to tell everyone else what to do.  Obeying pleases Trump as much as unchecked fealty.

Trump’s superpower is dragging down others into the sewer with him.  It’s not a particularly nice or useful ability, but it did get him enough notoriety to host a reality show and win some election.  The cartoonish caricature is unlike Lex Luthor, who actually earned a fortune while admitting he was bald.  Taking the bait is the Lincoln Project’s specialty.

Arguing on his miserable terms apparently isn’t bad enough.  Altering views based on what they think their opponent believes serves as one heck of an editorial policy.   Ending up agreeing with the de facto Democrat means the farce continues.  For the record, tariffs are foolish no matter which president from which party thinks punishing the crime of buying imported goods thinks.

Commentators we respected show that The Simpsons isn’t alone in either getting praised as the greatest or condemned as irrelevant while losing its purpose depending on the era.  Missing when it was awesome makes present lamentable output even more agonizing by comparison.  Some consumers of conservative commentary may have dug their contributions to National Review or the Weekly Standard in years past.  But Trump sunk the reputation of everyone who defined themselves in relation to him whether they were for or against.

Thorough charlatans remain linked in ostensible opposition to a petulant fraud who hasn’t been president since just after his minions threw a vicarious tantrum for him.  The only thing worse than taping one’s personality to another is constantly announcing they reject him.  People who  themselves by what they hate are surely as joyous as they are distinct.

Trump’s semiprofessional adversaries don’t want his tired toxic shtick exiled to the past.  His self-parodic shtick was tiresome enough in the ‘80s when it was in semi-vogue.  But volunteer sentries would feel purposeless without their bête noire and his black glass.  Similar phonies still stake their identities on dissenting against who he pretends to be.

Defiantly rejecting allegedly sacrosanct conservative policies was a missed opportunity to reaffirm doctrine just like shyster developer was precisely the wrong person to rebuild the wreckage left by the Obama presidency.  The lost chance is perfectly reminiscent of Trump’s tenure.  They really are the same.

Casual Embargo

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

I’m not buying that.  Commercial opposition happens as quickly as it does naturally during an era where every purchase seems political.  Reacting to harangues has replaced bagging items as the transaction’s last step.  Democrats got just the economic system they wanted.  You’ll have to seek riches internally.

A boycott sounds a bit too involved.  Will there be meetings?  I’d rather keep pace with the DVR than gather to review who’s presently been red-flagged.  I’ll just not purchase from any storefront whose primary product is gender dysphoria.

Liberals can’t comprehend lots of things, which in this case specifically means personal decisions about procuring stuff.  Like everything else, indignant liberal preeners think empty aisles at social justice-pimping stores are organized artificially.  But the audience is simply responding to incentives, which stands in defiance to one party’s platform.

Appealing to the public now applies to brands who’ve decided they need to flaunt ideologies.  Make a quality commodity available at a fair price and consumers will decide it’s worth the exchange.  By contrast, bottle a beer not fit to serve raccoons endorsed by a dude prancing around while flaunting the lamest stereotypes of women imaginable and wonder why delivery drivers don’t seem as busy.

Condescension takes different forms depending on bank balances.  Americans are officially fed up with a sermon accompanying buying.  Exhausted virtual mall walkers who look at stupid junk a company puts on exhibition and just decide they will keep credit cards holstered have made a loudly quiet statement.  Notice what isn’t being bought.

An organic process frightens control freaks who demand political oversight over every transaction for peace of mind.  You wouldn’t understand what good insurance includes, so economic wizard Joe Biden will select a caring plan on your behalf.

Present examples could be taught in business classes.  Bud Light says it’s a real beer, and I believe that as much as I do that its most prominent spokesperson switched sides.  The frat swill’s value remains diluted to the point that you’d think they had brewed it.

Meanwhile, Target just can’t stop stocking merchandise that guilt those looking for throwback t-shirts into tolerance. A display that’s designed to hector and not hawk leads to fewer dollars per customer than anticipated.

Your Doritos dealer wants to shame you for believing gender is predetermined.  Companies never realize that they could sit out divisive culture wars initiated by lunatics who oppose the one we presently have.  This particular battle can be waged by not fighting back.

Ignoring tantrums is the most peaceful path too victory.  Curiously self-righteous dry goods purveyors simply must share opinions about how the Supreme Court voted.  Making it slightly harder to kill babies outraged some vendors to the point they alienated those in opposition.  Enterprises that should welcome money from anyone instead ask that you take what keeps them afloat elsewhere.

Opponents of political lectures to those pushing shopping carts emphasize knowing your audience.  But avoiding forcing baffling notions should be universal.  Your business’s new fans won’t be expressing their fondness with acquisitions.  As with pretending an invasive government causing harm actually helps, the support is symbolic.  Leftists believe in patronizing of a different kind.

Entrepreneurial entities haven’t been harmed enough.  Ridiculous wages to stack shelves with costly goods that aren’t even available was just the start.  Chronic protesters never create anything worth advertising themselves.  Trying to shut even more storefronts is how Democrats finish the job.

The nastiness of organized assaults on particular commerce stands in contrast to getting socks somewhere other than the gender-bending swimsuit peddlers.   Blacklist hobbyists engage in perpetual maneuvers against Chick-fil-A for the crime of being Christian.  Picket any family member who attends regular church services while you’re at it.  Not splashing a rainbow over a logo through June is the woke religion’s unforgivable sin.  It takes quite a bit of vitriol to oppose alleged hate.  Giggling during the sermon will get you damned.

Simply resisting unscientific pernicious frenzies is labeled an act of defiance.  But we were just shopping.  Liberals hate open bartering because people decide what and what not to buy.  You’re not being guided by a carefully-elected professional, and such unhinged chaos leads to angry right-wingers driving past places that sell creepy reflections of grotesque adult delusions to kids.

Retailers are not obligated to offer anyone anything, which is the most offensive idea of all to leftists.  Your subversive autonomy prevents humanity from enjoying unity through very optional forced compliance.  Pesky dissent means a conglomerate could go the entire month without sharing a rainbow.  The worst blasphemy possible is permitted because of some amendment.  Legalities prevent us from all being eternally blissful through undisputed tolerance.

You can’t have your brats read anything different than what older whippersnappers once did, you book-burning censor.  Changing one’s mind about a reading list equals incineration.  Alleged bans are simply editorial discretion.  Deciding a different title may be more appropriate for a certain grade is the free market in action, and schools want to avoid teaching their charges to think for themselves.  Government is supposed to be the only option, which is the whole furtive point of public education.

Smirking about the right to not buy something is the only response from those who actually loathe the process.  The only time fans of the Cold War’s wrong side are interested in voluntary trade is when they can exploit it.  Such inherent selfishness explains why control freaks are so distrustful.  Possessing no useful skills to create something in return will drive the affected to compensate by dragging down others.

Everyone’s presently confused about how buying works on account of how there are so few examples on shelves paired with the de facto worthlessness of the paper slips used to obtain them.  But conglomerates should still know better.

Equating buying things with sanctimonious social media replies will not increase sales.  Swapping currency for woke approval better help the balance, as appeasing people with no earning power who’d never shop there fails to enhance profitability.  Leftist advocacy will never go far enough for anti-consumers who don’t believe in the process at all.  No longer carrying parachute pants is just one way to dodge playing along with cultural fads.

Still Sick

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Being correct about the virus took nothing more than disagreeing with liberals.  It’s not to boast, but the trend is consistent enough to be considered confirmed.  Now, there’s some science.

Reviewing the particulars would’ve worked, as well.  But chronicling how a disease ignored barriers placed by superstitious contemporary troglodytes would just show that arrogant twits who smirk at amendments got life as wrong as usual.

Your sicko betters decided we didn’t need trifling things like rights.  The only thing worse than relinquishing them for an a red alert was when coercion exacerbated the problem.  An emergency was an excuse.  Their dream of confiscating autonomy just needs a bit of panic about current events to move it.  Aspiring tyrants had to pretend not to enjoy it.

Masks were useful if you count signaling virtue.  The whole shielding from spreading an infection worked significantly less effectively.  But giving professional preeners a wearable talisman that showed just how much they cared made them feel better, which is way more important than whether both the alleged protection and definite infiltration helped at all.  Science’s ironic enemies pretended they couldn’t hear us through face filters.

Tan lines from face cloaks may fade, but the stain remains.  A useless talisman allowed those who flaunted wearing them to self-identify as self-important.  Frightened cravers of autocracy gave away everything that makes this country what it is all to keep everyone unwell.  A contagious illness’s action plan was so crucial that enlightened bullies couldn’t bother with your niceties like checks and balances.  Make sure results aren’t awful if you’re keen on circumventing legislatures.

Shutdowns showed politicians continuing the tradition of deciding what was best for you.  Was relief forthcoming?  The pushy process is merely a bit more indirect now.  Turning supplies for making dinner into a fantasy item for lottery winners is an inadvertently perfect representation of alleged help you’re not allowed to decline.

Bitching about the economy like cruel capitalists were keeping infections thriving displays as much ignorance about economics as it does epidemiology.  Wondering where Democrats thought things would come from is like trying to figure out why they thought printing money faster would make everyone wealthy.  Stuff is distributed by politicians, silly.  As for who would produce them and why, we’ll just have to print a little more.

Suspicion especially applies to the Chinese government, a bumbling totalitarian monstrosity that it turns out might be a bit unsavory.  Unfortunately in these sensitive times, it’s racist to notice diabolical commies may not have had the best intentions or lab protocol.  Hall monitors who silenced dissent claiming it was in opposition to science not only don’t grasp how the process works but were the ones who got facts wrong.  I’m sure prolonging sadness by enforcing de facto house arrest for the crime of breathing is the only example of such ironic fascism ever happening.

Presume Washington distributes everything from truth to goods before wondering where everything went.  They may not be correct about everything, or anything.  Invasive putzes so bad at life that they had to run for office might not be the ultimate arbiters of facts.  Wait long enough and everything Democrats foist will be disproven.  Ruining society for a couple years so an infection could spread as it wished confirmed the axiom yet again.

We’re not getting our time back, at least according to current scientific theories.  They’re in line with how effective breathing through cloth is for halting illness.  Another squandered resource makes it like all the other horrible incursions made into our hours on our alleged behalf.  The absence remains intangible like money and opportunities never seen because they’re pre-emptively confiscated.  But we felt it.

Science is about noticing if coincidences are linked.  Take a couple consecutive miserable years that happened to coincide with unfettered political rule where benevolent despots imposed policies for communal health that shut down free markets.  The agony was even more acute than under conventional liberal rule.  A concentrated dose provided the opposite of a cure.

Victims who warned of useless violations won’t even get an apology, naturally.  Why would it be different from the ruling faction getting anything else wrong?  Oafish goons who aren’t about to feel contrite about abusing authority might appear weak upon conceding their lust to control humans makes everyone as miserable as them.

Those discredited by existence’s experiment could finally actually show their commitment to the scientific process by responding to clear information.  But admitting they were incorrect about every last thing violates their predetermined conclusion.

The precedent of deciding they can decide for everyone else would be threatened by conceding it ruined life from 2020 forward.  Our dumb and awful government is framed as a lifesaver by its zealous devotees, which is why we’re at the point where liberty is not even about what you can’t do but rather the few things you can.

Life’s most perilous location was a New York nursing home.  The worst sort of cult didn’t even serve refreshments.  Jim Jones was a piker compared to Anthony Fauci.  Worshiping the epitome of false prophets while claiming they believed in science should constitute heresy.  Such a sin would be blasphemers’ nicest offense.

Scoffing at people who couldn’t get haircuts while posturing that the economy was not more important than life created the worst of all worlds.  Fear connoisseurs made everyone ill and broke to prove it.

Tipped Over

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

New York City opposes tipping.  A different kind of rudeness will follow the latest monetary aggravation imposed by a government that thinks it’s helping you eat.  The pending massive pay spike for app delivery drivers will make them affluent unless potential customers order less or something.  The total grows between ordering and arriving.

An astounding hourly increase will certainly lead to riches.  You can’t decline delivery, right?  A jump to $17.96 from $7.09 means industry participants are going to be more than twice as rich once the mandate to order as frequently passes.

The unappetizing infringement warps the real rate, which is as much as drivers can get versus as little as people who want someone else to make fare will fork over.  Meeting somewhere in the middle to figure out how much bringing General Tso’s chicken to your coffee table is worth seems fair.  You may note that haggling over entrée facilitating doesn’t involve the opinion of politicians who decided it’s their right to control portions.

Liberals hate noticing performance.  The whole point of tipping is to reward measured by percentage.  Useless moochers who can’t swing it in the private sector expect a minimum.  Take professional freeloader Eric Adams, who expressed his urge for ordering everyone else around by demanding “People must live off of a base salary and I encourage everyone who’s listening to this: don’t forget to tip.” Meanwhile, he just made adding a bit as a thankful courtesy tougher.  Prospective eaters will struggle to afford gratuities now thanks to a mysterious escalation.  The financial interaction is none of his business, which of course won’t stop him from being bossy about it.  Nobody would give the mayor a buck for what he delivers.

Aspiring deliverers are going to beg for politicians to stop helping.  Gig work is about to become versatile in the past tense.  A flexible schedule on top of the appeal of earning extra for speedy smiling service isn’t enough for the protectors who just made finding work for anyone willing to lug a bag improbable.

The value of bringing sandwiches to your door is a negotiation.  At least, it should be.  Compensation is a private matter between those who have something to offer and those who want it.  The most simple of human transactions is seen on menus at the very restaurants in question.

How much will diners pay diners?  The answer doesn’t involve the city.  Determining what disco fries are worth is a perpetual dance craze.  Ingredients, labor, and appeal combine for tastiness.  A mandate spoils the flavor like pineapple on pizza.

There’s about to be even less money in personal budgets for transported takeout.  It’s an unsolvable riddle why the expense of existing is skyrocketing that surely has nothing to do with Democrats suddenly implementing their dreams.  Free money somehow isn’t worth as much.  Inflation is a disease that was cured until Joe Biden’s lab leak.

The only crime in New York City is standing up to criminals.  Leaders are focused on stealing money from residents who don’t feel like cooking.  Professional shoplifters follow their example.

Grub becomes prohibitively costly on July 12, so fill up now.  Culinary intermediaries are due to be rich unless hungry Gothamites stop ordering so much or at all because of prohibitive fees.  Next, government will try to figure out why steak sets one back more than ramen.

Adjusting to what ingredients are available applies to currency, too.  A limited menu leads to circumventing the forced shortage.  Outlaw cuisine distribution will become the mobile speakeasy.

Democrats create inventiveness,.  Of course, it’s not their own.  The inevitable reaction to rate acceleration will harm app businesses, which in turn will give the service crew a lot more free time.  Sitting around with nothing to do but have others bring meals sounds appealing until realizing those amazing salaries are suddenly not applicable.

The millionth invasive aggravation sums up the previous ones.  Progressives who create the opposite of progress smirk that the reverse cash delivery only costs a couple bucks.  But a maximized minimum wage constitutes a forced hike on its own that’s on top of innumerable previous maneuvers against your wallet.  The embodiment of telling people what to do is going to result in losing yet one more joy in this oh so advanced era of limitless prosperity.

It doesn’t take a psychic to predict things are about to suck.  Constantly surprised people who never notice patterns call consequences unforeseen.  But the shock only applies to smug faux saviors telling others what to do.  Anyone who’s noticed that irking Moe leads to him assaulting Larry knows dishing out more for dishes leads to fewer purchases.  The ruling party never thinks about what’s next or what negotiation is ever.

Dine and dashers conjure plans for prosperity that always involve multiplying by zero.  Handing out currency demotivates while devaluing.  The same careful plotters coincidentally act as if theft won’t lead to high tolls on honest people while making dry goods purveyors wonder if the blatant loss justifies closing up shop.  And forcing hapless citizens to use inferior energy sources is framed as a win for both Earth and bank balances, which makes the fact consumers won’t choose them on their own a curiosity.

Liberals decree that the secret to being richer is to pay more.  It only sounds like I made that up to mock them.  They do the work for me, which is the only time they’re productive.  Writing jokes for others makes their innate adoration of mooching understandable.  But as with their other scheming, the system is unsustainable.  We can’t afford to keep expecting others to toil harder.

Why do Democrats enjoy people suffering?  Professional sadists can’t possibly think an artificial pay boost brings natural riches.  Cruel rulers just put a treat of a meal out of the reach of residents who already pay enough rent for a broom closet to obtain a manor anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line, not including utilities.  Dropping your dinner on the doorstep is about to become obsolete for city dwellers who survive the subway ride home.  At least your favorite restaurant was just demolished for condos.

The next reaction will finally fix it.  To counteract for the ensuing plunge in ordering, Democrats should cap food prices.  A limit on tater tot charges will make ordering affordable by law.  Restaurateurs in opposition are just greedy about wanting to make a living.  That’s unless they’re charging as affordably as they can for patty melts until a pernicious mandate puts luxuries like bread out of reach.  Both buyers and sellers will go hungry.

Retiring Entitlements

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

I wish Democrats were right about Republicans wanting to cut entitlements.  It’d be nice for them to be honest for once.  Social Security along with government insurance for the elderly and underprivileged are treated like sacred sacraments of a sacrilegious religion that is bankrupting parishioners who must attend then fill collection baskets.  The worst sort of bipartisanship for the lousiest sort of coerced participation is great for survival otherwise.

Bankrupting America to issue a pittance because two Democratic presidents understood buying votes and not products is a reflection of our values.  Federal dispensaries deal the precise opposite of compassion, which makes the concept like every other governmental scheme.  The duped should notice consistency by the time they reach retirement age.

Pretending government can offer protections from life’s mean vagaries exacerbates them.  There are more figurative ways to learn how cruel irony can get.  Social Security is antisocial and insecure, but I’m certain that’s the sole time government has ever not created the precise opposite.

Explaining the system if it started today would lead to fleeing the timeshare office.  Washington will confiscate a portion of your paycheck and return it in a few decades when you’re done working.  Oh, and there are no guarantees you’ll get anything back.  Plus, the return will be so far below what was involuntarily seized that you’d laugh if you weren’t going to spend your golden years ironing aluminum foil to be used again.  As far as interest, you should have none.

You can’t call it an investment when money’s not invested.  That notion seems pretty basic, which is why politicians ignore it.  I wish what was pilfered were just sitting there, as the IOUs that replace them aren’t accepted by most retailers.

Forced contributors might be shocked to learn the percentage of growth is a bit worse than zero.  It’s tricky to visualize a negative number just like it is to miss money taken before it’s ever seen.  The sinister shielding from awful outcomes can’t protect from doom.

You may be shocked to learn that a government that’s racked up close to 32 freaking trillion dollars in debt is a little shaky at creating decent returns.  Federal retirement planning is the worst return on investment since Mark McGwire rookie cards, and at least a cardboard-based portfolio was voluntary.  Americans are punished for the crime of employment, which is a Democratic specialty.

It’s not going to matter what they claim.  Certainty doesn’t necessarily provide relief.  The indifference of mathematics operating in reality is cruel to big dreamers who want to move past the indignity of having to pay.  An unfathomable negative balance growing larger by the nanosecond explains why liberals loathe economics.  That doesn’t change how broke we are.

Check to see what polls poorly before deciding to address the impending financial collapse caused by buying votes.  There’s not even a good value for what’s being sold.  Entitlements for seniors poll well.  Also, children like ice cream and get mad when it’s replaced for dinner with a dish containing more protein.

Determining what style of ripoff is preferable doesn’t really result in a winner.  Robbed backers are either getting more than they put in or ending up with less.  Exploiters of the system join with suckers to demand the Ponzi scheme remain untouched.

It’s adorable to get to that age and think they have their own accounts.  Washington is at best holding money they took from you, and they’re far from said best.

I have bad news about your lockbox if you thought it was a box that locked.  I know it’s illegal for the government to lie, but their claims seem to not be quite close to the truth.  Your dreams for a comfortable life after telling your boss to suck it have been cracked open and looted by authorities who were safeguarding it.  Don’t fret, as they took what you thought was theirs by law.

The private sector wins every single time, including and especially when it comes to your own earnings.  Take the money being shredded in the capital and stick it in a mutual fund to have way more security.  Democrats try to discourage personal responsibility, as it’s bad for their business.

Bills would be safer under the floorboards than in our nation’s capital.  Buying insurance from the same place where you get cars covered would mean competition for your services, and those options are dangerous for tyrants who already dislike having to face voters.

Having to fix the sense of assurance is going as poorly as the nation’s checking balance.  Jittery politicians could announce a transition if they’re freaked out about offending voters who like having their money taken for decades in the hopes of getting some back.

Propose retirement accounts where participants get to choose where to stick their earnings that might actually result in ending up with more money, even factoring in the inflation brought by Bidenomics.  Or keep tossing funds into a federal black hole.  The paper not worth much, anyway.

Fearing voters who have their handouts handed back in is no way to reach forward.  Running from financial catastrophe is surely courageous.  Wait: it’s the other one.  The refusal to add is truly Trumpian in cravenness, economic ignorance, and dedication to federal filtering of confiscated funds.  Seeing the benefits of better quality insurance and quantities of money should entice Republicans to offer a valuable alternative.  The latter might even be worth more on account of printing less to hand out.  Treating currency like AOL CDs in 1998 has made them worth the equivalent today.

The illusion of protection is central to every federal scheme.  Seniors will be fine in retirement thanks to Washington as long as those born first don’t get sick or plan on spending money.

Indicts and Wrongs

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Donald Trump wishes he were still officially a Democrat.  The power-mad, entitlement-embracing ostensible Republican committed the offense of not storing filched classified documents near a Corvette.  The fascination with putting anything top secret in between flatscreen TV instruction manuals while leaving a temporary executive residence is a telling habit of those who grasp authority in order to lord over those who didn’t.  But only those affiliated with one particular party get in trouble for paperwork pilfering.

Fatigue from legal proceedings isn’t assuaged by just who has to worry about doing the time as opposed to letting the time do him.  Corrupt application of the law doesn’t become acceptable just because it’s funny picturing Trump try to take control of the prison Rorschach-style.  The former reality television host and president ladling out mashed potatoes in the mess hall would make every bit of nonsense he’s inflicted almost seem worthwhile.  You know an indictment is bad when those with vivid imaginations still can’t justify it.

There’s no thinking ahead in chess when your strategy is to throw pieces at your foe.  Democrats don’t ponder the precedent of indicting a rival candidate for the same reason they don’t consider the consequences of rampantly printing money.  Aspiring autocrats gleefully manipulated the legal system to hurt Trump’s feelings.  By doing so, inflated the chances of an ex-leader from their side facing consequences for swiping sheets that detail scenarios for nuking Quebec.  But that’s only if they ever end up on the short side of electoral votes again, and that seems impossible.

The most recent presidential loser will pretend he got exactly what he wants.    An all-time sleaze gets to play victim, which is the only business at which the erstwhile steak salesman excels.  Democrats who’ve made not thinking out things their brand think they’ve won against someone who needs to be handed victories.  Hoisting the trophy led to fumbling it.

Motivating the MAGA Cult requires convincing them that he’s once again been aggrieved by the forces of disloyal jealousy.  Loser haters are sure busy, according to their messiah’s Rashomon-style take.  Prosecutors made the fundamental mistake of giving an elderly baby a legitimate reason to bitch.

It’s not to be a conspiracist just because they keep turning out to be true.  But sending bail bondsmen after Trump motivates his fanatical bloc, which in turn harms the party he commandeered.  The best Democratic strategy involved helping the one guy who might possibly lose to Joe freaking Biden.  After all, it happened before.

Trump was already polarizing to the point where the incumbent seemed like he would have offered relative relief.  Money became worthless as the result.  The ruling gang would rather dilute the value of savings into oblivion than lose the White House.  You’d think they would be secretly cool with their alleged bête noire winning again.  His empty promises and fulfilled federal waste make it seem like a Democrat won.

Dumb justice has replaced the blind kind.  Sanctimony is surely a wise way to make life fair.  The special counsel preening about how there’s one set of laws is noble except for how they only apply to Republicans.  Well, that’s half the major parties.

Democratic criminals are less subtle than Batman villains.  The present office-filler’s best excuse for scattering inappropriate paperwork is advanced age, which doesn’t hold up considering he’s always been this dimly scuzzy.  Serial liberty abuser Barack Obama ought to be spending an unearned retirement suckering fellow inmates into letting him cut the ping pong queue, while the most fitting punishment for the Clintons would be sentencing them to be cellmates.

Moving past the document swipe wouldn’t be magnanimous.  The legal rigmarole’s most dire consequence is getting someone whose name should disappear from mind to trend.  Wanting him to go away offers common ground amongst decent people who are tired of the emblematic phony ages ago.  But both his zealots and enemies indulge him, which is why we’re discussing someone whose shtick was tiresome in the ‘80s well into 2023.

If other guests are picking teams, it’s time to raid the bar before sneaking out.  Playing when everyone loses is as fun as it sounds.  This legal bout is bound to create an even worse time than an evening that features dragging out his board game.  Make up the rules as you go along, which is the equivalent of announcing you declassified what you pinched.

Calling an event historic without pondering if it’s manufactured is a sign people in these allegedly advanced times have learned nothing.  Pretending Trump is a unique scumbag makes him more important than he ever deserved.  The outcome will be labeled political either way.  There’s not one human you’d want to spend time with who’s thrilled by the prospect of discovering whether the tacky black glass aficionado is above the law or harmed by partisan warping of it.

Democrats finally found a crime that bothers them.  Rampant shoplifting and urban streets that resemble zombie films spurred them to preen about unfortunate perpetrators.  But that doesn’t make everyone in opposition saintly.  Anyone who’s spent four minutes studying politics should be unsurprised at the lack of worthwhile sides.  You don’t have to limit hating both teams to the Super Bowl.

Simultaneously, observers can be appalled that one faction’s leader faces legal peril for an infraction that prominent members of the other boast about skirting.  I thought liberals wanted equality.  Instead, they’re hassling the last person who deserves sympathy.  They should be arrested for making me defend him.

Liberated Fort

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Braxton Bragg had nothing to brag about.  His tactics were as disagreeable as his choice of team.  Consistent ignominy from someone who was less than a historical footnote shouldn’t come to mind frequently.  Thanks to removing his name from a rather prominent fort, we can remember to forget someone who hated America so much that he quit it.

The biggest objection to naming one of America’s biggest military installations Fort Liberty is the lack of a new honoree.  Find a deserving person instead of a concept.  They couldn’t think of someone to commemorate?  That’s unless it’s named for Jeff Liberty, in which case I apologize to his spirit and ancestors.  I hope the Army is more inspired in strategy than they are in titling headquarters.  The new name is generically unimaginative even if I’d like to go on the record as being pro-liberty.

Fans of the civilization that’s led to comforts such as air conditioning and voluntary exchange are understandably defensive.  Anyone appreciative for freedoms available in the one country founded on the notion they exist is long past sick of monuments literally being torn down.  At the same time, handing out participation trophies isn’t a new phenomenon.  A second place finish in a war with two entrants is one of several reasons Bragg’s side failed to inspire.

You’d think open rebellion would be something the military would not want to celebrate, and you’d finally be correct.  At least don’t suck at it if you’re going to reject your nation.  Bragg embodied losing on behalf of the cause of owning others.  Leave his name behind with his thought process.

That was just the person to not honor or emulate.  Some corrections actually get it right, which feels odd in a very enlightened era where noting genders gets one banished.  Internal kvetchers freak out about our beloved autonomous nation, which is merely a side benefit.  Fans of the winning side remain thankful that the Confederacy relied on thick-skulled nitwits whose limited frontal lobes only allowed them to envision frontal assaults.  Bragg made the case against white supremacy.

But entire decades are now being condemned, including the current one.  Figuring everyone in the past is as racist as we are in the present is what leftists do instead of learning a trade.  An ironically reactionary habit destroys worthwhile memories.  The only thing worse than, say, condemning Teddy Roosevelt because his statue is misinterpreted by pinko lunatics is the way they’ve been granted final say.

Fretting that every name change means history’s deletion is an understandable but imprecise reflex.  Contemporary struggle sessions have conditioned those suspicious of woke maneuvers to figure every new moniker is designed to appease political correctness.  But the Trumpian impulse of thinking anything your foes oppose must be awesome is fraught with peril even if the guess is correct most of the time.  Declining to honor Civil War silver medalists should create common ground.

Blanket statements only seem to cover everything.  The technique of outright condemnation is preferred by America’s loathers.  Painting with the broadest brush Home Depot stocks is yet one more tiresome tendency from those who think everything everywhere is racist.  Make sure to not emulate social justice warriors.  Use that absolute certainty to ironically scrutinize on case-by-case basis, which is one courtesy they never reciprocate.

Some rebrands emphasize righteousness.  Renaming the USS Chancellorsville for American hero Robert Smalls celebrates a badass who escaped slavery by using signals he had learned while manning a Confederate ship to dupe his captors.  Fooling CSA military members by dressing as one of their captains is as brave as it is hilarious.

Nobody deserves a ship featuring his name more than a guy who stole one from the people who fought to keep him enslaved.  The only way to improve the designation is if his replaces a Union loss, which it thankfully does.

History’s more complex than the simpleminded claim.  Condemning or lauding everything is suspiciously easy.  It’s worth the effort required to discern the difference between acknowledging events and honoring certain players.  Noting having an installation bear one’s name is a tribute and not a mere acknowledgment of previous existence does not constitute a revisionist rewrite.

The chance to mock is the reward inadvertently provided by ingrates.  It’s an obligation to scoff at sanctimonious lunatics trying to recast America as a diabolical entity created to perpetuate racism.  Notice they never leave the most oppressive place they could have been born despite their protestations regarding the alleged resemblance the naughtiest version of Germany.

But not every new sign on an old facility is a surrender to aspiring autocrats using 1984 as an instruction manual.  We’re free to not laud twits, jerks, or jerky twits just because they happened to be born before us.  Presuming previous generations got every naming correct is as foolish as wholesale rejection of great humans whose sacrifices brought us much good.  Use the fort’s new namesake judiciously.

Backed Up Front

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Consequences are mean.  Certain political factions hate noticing what’s next because they want to keep life as a surprise.  Careful planners conjured all these amazing communal notions that work like Joe Biden’s trains when actually tried.

Democrats aren’t as thrilled as expected about getting exactly what they backed.  Forcing taxpayers to rub the lamp shows government genies screw up wishes, which is just another unanticipated consequence.  Successes ended with winning elections as installed policies naturally failed.  It’s not bad enough that they have to live with their regrettable decisions: because of that whole way elections work, we do, too.  Involving politics in every life portion leaves plates empty.

Crime is America’s trendiest hobby.  The ruling party gave so many disaffected youths something to do, yet ingrates protest the end of idling.  The only way to halt the trend is by running out of stuff.  Friends of felons need semipermanent downturn to end so the downtrodden can keep thieving to fight inequality.  You might figure there’d be nothing left to take.

The Democratic dedication to spirituality means nobody has any stuff.  But ransackers ripped out the fixtures and copper wire after you thought looting would end once the last consumer goods vanished.  Government didn’t steal everything only because the leviathan is prototypically inept.

Foes of constitutional niceties would appreciate you discarding your long-term memory for the collective’s benefit.  Statist goons did so in order to forget who won the Cold War.  Pretending that cities have always been havens for pirates requires disregarding the uncanny overlap between unchecked plundering and the mayors’ parties.

Poor victims can tell exactly when progressive dreams become real nightmares.  Just watch election results.  There’s no greater hassle than moving from New York City, which makes Eric Adams prompting Knickerbockers to flee an accomplishment of sorts.

The only thing worse than results are excuses.  The president’s thin ranks of defenders pathetically blame corporate greed is the sort of predictable behavior sellers wish they could diagnose in buyers.

Lunatic conspiracy theories are the only thriving enterprise.  Conglomerates don’t raise prices when they install the despot of their choice because they cannily wait to harm their political foes.  Stores are anthropomorphically Republican, you see.  The inability to afford eggs stems from resentment over how much peddlers hate a Democratic president.  There’s no way conglomerates could profit by lowering prices to increase volume or anything.

It’s their fault.  We’ll stop blaming when voters who don’t trust the judgment of others for personal reasons stop selecting such objectionable alleged leaders.  Ceaselessly smarmy Democrats voted for this.  You might figure they’d be proud with their dedication to announcing how incredible what they believe is.  Somehow, the country ended up broke in multiple senses.

Lives dedicated to imposing solutions ruined those of everyone else.  Results are thrilling if trying to survive without being harmed or able to afford groceries is approached as a challenge.  The party determined to take all the worries out of existence helped create woe for you to overcome, and you ingrates don’t even thank them.  Don’t you enjoy developing character?

Government’s peculiar advocates scoff at the notion that the awful dolts they shoved into office by exploiting the urge to get rich without toiling might be our world’s biggest frauds.  Condemning the wealthy while trying to become the same without offering value shows just why they despise their enemy.  The fact the professionally jealous fail is supposed to make it okay to project bumbling on everyone else.

Easily swayed cultists who think government should and does run every life aspect are shocked when it actually happens.  Confiscating liberty doesn’t actually liberate humans.  The innumerable examples already accumulated apparently still aren’t enough to confirm.

Ghastly results are precise opposite of what they claim will happen, which at least is a victory for predictability.  Getting everything backward will have to count.  Announce what lottery numbers will cause the IRS to take your fortune.  Inflicting consequences they dodge makes it like everything else they believe.  Scheduled terrible times will also have to count as regularity.

You may not notice redistribution schemes supposedly assisting the underprivileged, which is why adherents do so as showily as possible.  Voting to make privilege quite rare is one way of installing fairness.  Presume it’s only straight white males who can get ahead to fulfill the prophecy.  Nobody can afford things like things.  Everyone suffers for parity.

They absolutely voted for this.  The guilty have learned their policies are phenomenally horrid.  Cause and effect upsets free market foes.  Everyone else suffers the effects of ironic punishment for hubris.  If you’re going to be arrogant, at least do so for a cause greater than letting Pete Buttigieg derail trains and ground planes.

It’s fine to cast blame when it’s clear who’s at fault.  Noticing who was in charge when society disintegrated like a zombie movie without the undead rising from graves might help prevent further rotting.  Liberals oppose barbaric rituals like trials for the arrested, not to mention obviously selfish reasons involving nervousness  about linking behavior to outcomes.  Surveying thorough poverty leads to perpetrators protesting that their glorious visions weren’t implemented correctly when the whole problem is they can’t see a thing.

For Beta or Worse

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Society’s not improving under the stewardship of unpleasant guys pretending to be swell.  The future isn’t progressive.  Beta brutes embody the most unfortunate of tendencies in these prehistoric modern times while trying feebly to contain their cavemen urges.  Pretending to care is not a new trick.  Civilization is plagued by the toxic lack of masculinity.

I hate to be cynical in the assessment of faux sensitive fellows who express admiration for ladies by wallowing in the worst stereotypes of femininity.  Actually, I revel in it.  Jaded distrust should always remain a characteristic of every gender and especially the one who can rank Jackass movies.  

Prehistoric modern men engage in the worst sort of ulterior motive, namely an attempt to make ladies wrongly believe they’re worth a special hug.  Sucking up may not enable scoring.  The only thing that could be even more repulsive about their alleged game is pretending to be wholesome.  At least be honest about creepiness.

Showing how deeply concerned they are convinces nobody, including their intended conquests.  Enlightened dudes who don’t give in to troglodytical impulses are quite nasty in their rage.

The truly tolerant enjoy targeting anyone who dares not submit to current conventional wisdom, which is unconventional and unwise.  Enervated guys make a show of allegedly being allies, which is now defined as pandering paired with virtue-signaling.  They wish someone would print t-shirts that announce how sensitive they are so they could stop trying to stick out their chests.

Nurturing fellows illustrate the new style of grit by going after the most successful female author ever.  Impugning fictional wizard creator and real-world biology follower J.K. Rowling reflects dedication to adoring women so much that a man can become one just by declaring such.   The audacity to question the science of announcing a gender switcheroo is a far greater offense in these enlightened times than antiquated crimes like shoplifting and mugging.

The expect on spells committed the crime of noticing no magic can alter biology.  Science’s enemies flaunt how courageous they are on behalf of women by proclaiming joining their ranks is a decision.  Assailing those who wonder if the apparent delusion is really happening is one way to be accepting.  Sexist barbarians think men can’t infringe on womanhood by switching sides.

The only group of genetic males worse than embracers of genuinely phony empathy are fake alphas.  Alleged strength without righteous focus was bad enough at Limp Bizkit concerts.

Focusing on winning at all costs isn’t merely a wholesale misunderstanding of how a backbone functions: the lack of a noble guiding principle leads to humiliations like losing to Joe Biden.  It’d be much more amusing if everyone else didn’t have to endure results.

The feebleness of intended imposed changes offers the only consolation.  As with fuming crab Biden failing to implement his ghastly agenda, ineffectiveness is a blessing when it affects twerps.

Craving resolve without displaying it leads to regrettable results like flaccid bully Putin as some sort of vigorous adventurer.  For alpha males, they sure spend lots of time worshiping guys they think are dreamy.

Presidents leave legacies, often unfortunately.  Donald Trump of course typifies role-playing as a virile stud to those who enjoy being suckered.  The former steak salesman and federal executive has spent his lifetime portraying himself as the standard of manliness.

Doing what he thinks you think he should be is undoubtedly virile.  Focus on image like a true independently rugged human.  The perpetual pouter turned the inability to beat Joe freaking Biden into a flaccid riot.  Indignant broheims couldn’t even mount an insurrection properly.

The need to be ranked surely doesn’t mask overcompensation.  Allegedly charming specimens whine like vegans at steakhouses.  Constantly needing to proclaim they’re at the top tier is itself a sign of insecurity.  Players with tells never recognize any of them.

Like Three Stooges shorts, the plot isn’t tricky.  At least the male idiocy when Moe takes his frustration out on Larry’s ineptness is deliberate.  Testosterone lightweights act in a manner they perceive to be feminine, which is the most insulting treatment around.

Women can spot pandering in order to lamely try to seduce them.  Sometimes, the effort applies to convincing them to vote, which is even sleazier.  Presuming all women are cool with aborting the inconvenient is for cloaked predators in multiple senses.

Insincerity has never been truer.  The modern anti-roughhousing guy says whatever he thinks women want to hear.  Like how communism and fascism are alleged opposites that end up with identical tyranny, the false tough and truly delicate guys should form an alliance with a limp handshake.

Illiberal liberal fellows trade in ironic sexism.  Technical males seethe without possessing the physical strength or mental fortitude to act commendably.  They offer the best of both worlds otherwise.  Pretending pushups put to good use causes societal ills has led to anger without moral focus.  Emasculation somehow didn’t create strength.