Not Thinking Ahead or Behind

Simpleminded solutions are neither simple nor minded.  Naturally, they’re very popular.  Getting to watch humanity revert into prehistoric caricatures at least makes sociology interesting. People don’t have money, so have we tried giving them some?  Even cavemen would know that’s dumb.

Saying so might not make it happen, which is devastating to those who believe in the power of words.  But at least the folly of thinking a Vox-crafted plan will function in reality proves hate speech isn’t a real issue.

Ending crime is as easy as tool restrictions.  A maniac who decides to hurt others has to remember to behave first so he can pass a background check.  Gun control presumes evil is contained by a shopping hassle. Just make it illegal, as that stops lawbreakers.  That’s by definition.

Crabby critics note that a random criminal may not be bothered by a barrier that only makes it hard for the virtuous to pack heat.  Good luck stopping human atrocity with a magazine restriction.  It is what the regulation claims.

Insurance for all sounds great.  I know a few of those people, and some of them are okay.  But the hardest way to provide it is by demanding companies sell it.  Those who notice a guarantee by diktat actually makes coverage shoddy are calmly and rationally deemed heartless.

We can’t dare meddle with an imperious restriction on freedom and currency.  A rule from 2010 that’s done to universal coverage what Young Sheldon has to comedy must stay, but only if we want to pretend we care.

Why do you want to take affordable sweet coverage away from orphaned widows?  Sure, I wouldn’t associate efficiency with our dumb government any more than I would compassion.  But giving everyone things seems nice.  Nothing makes items valuable like handing them out as if they were iPhone 5s in the queue outside the Apple Store.

Explaining how reactions work leads to too much rebounding.  People could buy their own plans from competitors desperate for business.  They might use money that shows up in workers’ pockets once Washington stops bleeding them in that vampiric style which doesn’t seem to be improving our color.  But it’s kinder to take away much and give a little back in return.

Why can’t the government buy our things?  Also, you can drive to places faster if you don’t stop for gas.  Spreading money all around is one way to make it less valuable.  Sure, something seems fishy about handing out cash like scripts in Harvey Weinstein’s hotel room. Still, how can the paper we use to buy things change in value itself? Now that’s voodoo economics.

Forget trying to note that free markets are negotiations where each side watches its own interests.  Distortion is the primary method for Washington giving us things.  The purported deals are as bad as the misperception.

You figured workers could have their best shot at self-sufficiency if they were allowed to make anything they could from bosses desperate for good help.  You did so because you somehow profit off starved corpses.  Do you get a sawbuck for every one you throw in Dick Cheney’s furnace?

Economics is the study of giving everyone money.  How else would we get rich? Prosperity is simply a matter of bribing people to not be poor.  At least, it better be, as it’s been a bipartisan strategy for decades. The fact it’s taking this long may not be an encouraging sign.

Everyone wants human progress and dignity. Of course, that excludes bloodthirsty Republicans who want the poor to suffer out of contemptuous sadism. The presumption that political foes are pro-sadness has increased the cheeriness quotient in an era that was already known for amicableness.  I’m totally enjoying finger-wagging from the same people whose policies cause the trauma they claim to oppose.  The hypocrisy is a nice distraction.

Everything works out but the results.  Zero-sum beliefs never account for human behavior, which is like Abe Lincoln’s security guard checking everything except lunatic Southern actors.  Childish math kills motivation.  If one person has eight dollars while another has two, taking and giving until both have five bucks may not create the desired placidity.  What we need is a government brave enough to give them each 10.  Nobody thought of anything so wise before because it’s too obvious.

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Debate Restated

You can’t argue with people saving the world.  Are you hoping the planet croaks?  I mean, I do.  But I’m a professional misanthrope who cheers for death comets.  Regardless, those who have been told they’re against decency and our planet’s survival protest despite being warned beforehand their objections are unacceptable.  The ensuing screaming exchange of ideas is even more pointless than usual debates, which is an extraordinary feat in its way.0

Rather frenzied political observes phrase positions in such a way that disagreers are cast among orphan-chaining Adolfs.  Why presume reasonable folks can hold a range of opinions?  Such dangerous permissiveness presumes independence is permitted, and that’s no way to progress.  You can make enemies slink away in shame if you can convince others their beliefs are toxic.  I wish the results were as clever as the rhetoric.

Purportedly noble people who think they fight inequality aren’t about to listen to counterarguments.  How could you be for such a thing?  American colleges are stuffed with bright undergrads making precisely this demented case, usually by screaming while Ben Shapiro tries to speak before they soothe rage by smashing a Starbucks.  Nobody’s more reasonable than someone who’s left a trail of shards.

This is no way to bicker.  Sure, there’s an argument to make.  But you’ll be banished to Siberia for suggesting conventional conservative notions would help.  Vitriol is an inadequate word to use when classifying those monsters who feel charities could help those in need.

And we haven’t even gotten to outcomes we should all like.  Everyone wants to end poverty, and that includes Mike Pence.  Not-very-liberal liberals are unable to imagine someone could agree with the goal yet pursue it differently.  And that’s the story of how ending lousy mandatory insurance means exposing poors to smallpox.

Resistant ideas are ruining the group.  While it’s nice to find people who agree with you, some take it too far.  The ideological circle jerk could use more diversity.  The most ardent social media justice warriors never encounter a person who thinks, say, people can buy their own things at better prices if the government doesn’t try it first. But crabby dissenters claim there’s another way.  In fact, it may even produce cleaner air instead of coping the tire fire we’ve napalmed for so long.

Ancient intolerant man was foolish enough to think everyone with different takes is misguided.  We were supposed to tweet the addresses of insolent conservatives and condemn their kids.  Framing issues in a way where anyone not agreeing is monstrous indicates tremendous intellectual security.  That’s a synonym for sanctimony, I’m sure. You’re not against fairness, are you?  Of course you are, Trump hat. Take your hate speech and go somewhere soundproof.

The purportedly open-minded will tolerate everything but disagreement. It’s easy to think of oneself as liberal if no other options are within normal grounds.  To justify the rather ironic cognitive dissonance, they call everyone who notices their beliefs do to America what Roger Goodell has to football a monstrous bigot.  People simply can’t have different ideas about the same problems.

The only thing worse than demonizing opposition is when said castaways notice how much everything sucks.  Condemn the most perceptive among us for making morale sink even lower.  The only terms our ever-vigilant media approves lead to semipermanent stagnation if you wonder why political discourse is so rosy.

Life’s easier when there’s only one choice.  Your soylent ration is filling despite what your stomach claims.  Big-government policies with huge consequences are presumed to be something we must endure.  What else could we try: competition?  That means trusting people to run their own lives, and a trip to White Castle casts doubts about our entire species.

The leftward lurch means ostracizing Town Hall readers.  Yet the lack of objection hasn’t pleased those who ramble about the complexion of Hollywood casts without interruption.  It’s as if they are unhappy humans.  We’ve tried every social justice-themed policy and coped with every lousy result.  The utter lack of fulfillment should be a sign.  It’s too bad we don’t heed those anymore.

If we’re going to take away debate, it should be for better results than this.  Calling, say, a man who thinks he’s a woman confused will get you on a couple dozen lists of uncooperative miscreants.  Bringing up science is pointless once you’re in the stockade.  That’s what you get for being a witch who thinks abortion doesn’t constitute women’s health.

The existence of objections shows how there’s a better way than the present course.  Obviously, we have to squelch it.  The contrast makes present times even more horrid by comparison.  We’ll get along better once we share sole opinions.

Enter Taming

You didn’t want to have fun, anyway.  Why else would you allow these people to hold office?  Going full partisan means murdering laughter. The end of all that useless smirking allows us to focus on more important things than frivolities.  The result contains as much happiness and wisdom as you’d expect from a people who don’t think the wrinkles from laughs are worth it.

Politics is too important to think about anything else, according to those who prefer harangues to mirth.  Outscoring Donald Trump is all the pleasure needed.  What was once was called entertainment distracted us from true fulfillment.  Do you want to have purpose or are you going to frolic like a child?

If you’re trying to explain 2017, don’t.  Stubborn folks who insist on trying to contextualize a year which can’t be defined using reason try to use the politicization of escapes from politics as an example of insanity.  Just don’t lean too far into the black hole or it’ll absorb you.

Please enjoy a sports channel decided to tearing down The Man.  I miss when ESPN was annoying because of its ass-kissing anchors attempting to do standup when I just wanted to find out if the freaking Knicks lost. They did, but I miss seeing how badly.  Instead, the erstwhile athletics programmer is fawningly classifying professional ball-chasers as opposing oppression for slighting our flag.

If an erstwhile sports channel decided it was tired of entertaining viewers, why wouldn’t a league feel the same way?  The NFL decided its purpose is to be unified against some vague social ill, which at least distracts from the rattled brains.  I sense a correlation.

Oh: you’re against oppression?  I guess I thought everyone opposed racism.  But only those who won’t stand with respect truly want people to not be murdered.  Did you know something is going bad in this country?  It’s very unique to this time.

Until America is perfected, there will be something for ingrates to whinge about. We’re that one country that falls short of utopia.  Taking away the enjoyment provided by racing around on fake grass is suitable punishment for a country having some rotten cops.

Applause instead of laughter is a sign jokes may not be funny.  Late night shows are inspiring people to stop being chained to televisions. That’s one way to hasten technological progress.  We degenerate insomniacs burn though Netflix before ever thinking of checking the networks.  Sure, I’ll tune in for a lecture from intellectual titan right after I buy a newspaper.

Politainment is only useful as a reflection of our world.  And same world blows. Broad appeal isn’t even pondered as a strategy by entertainers who are too important to make us laugh.  Settling for the eyeballs of intense fans means a small but dedicated audience.  Zealots express their cultishness by never giggling at jokes.  Nobody thinks Stephen Colbert is funny, right?

Remember when we hung out and remembered lat night’s gags?  But bringing to mind most of a top 10 list went out with the Arch Deluxe. Today, we roll eyes at the coworker with the “#Resist” bumper sticker in the cubicle explaining how righteous Seth Meyers’s monologue was.  Those no longer attached to programming schedules look up from iPads and vaguely remembering turning on the big one attached to the wall.

There’s no reason to remember what channel numbers the networks are.  Media fragmentation is the worst and best development.  Any free man is glad there are a million options.  We’ve lost common ground as a result.  But it turns out some people only stood with us because it was the last open space.

Programming television is easy, which makes executives sweat even more.  Your ability to amuse yourself otherwise terrifies those who used to dominate because they had no competition.  Those watching in the hi-fi era got to choose between Johnny Carson and the test pattern. But he cared about his semi-guaranteed audience.  To keep people from flipping to the stationery rainbow, The Tonight Show made sure to tease everyone.  Today, it’s hurtful to mock anyone other than Red State residents.

Of the many preposterous notions about Donald Trump, none is more infuriating than his purported entertainment value.  The only thing worse than our president’s lame cheap shots are the fact they exist. The bitchy sniping is below the dignity of both the office and our standards.  Politics contains no fun.  But fun also has no fun, as well.  Nobody’s entertained after electing a clown.  Yet the competing mimes are even less appealing, not to mention inappropriately mouthy.

The only way to get through this wearying era is with jokes and sports. Naturally, those two things are going extinct.  Smile until it’s not forced.  The distractions are themselves contributing to the wearying burden.  Taking away the few moments of joy is the sort of punishment we deserve for this era.  If we didn’t contribute directly, we failed to do enough to stop it.  At least it’s consistent.  Don’t enjoy your time off.

Hunching to Decline

Think the wrong thing quickly to maximize results.  Donald Trump’s instincts are supposedly his biggest asset, unless you count that un-cashed USFL check. His lurching is not conservative, which is as obvious as saying he hasn’t thought of the next sentence.  It would go right here.

Parroting a crude sense of what’s popular is the new honesty, according to projection by fans who don’t want to admit they bought a rusty Fiat.  His intention to have no intentions is even clearer now that he’s actually tried it for about one-quarter of his run.  Believe everything but what he says.

Trump’s long history of chasing whatever political trend happens to be popular that minute shows real integrity.  Thank Fox & Friends for giving a man known for selling himself.  Man, it’s such a shady product.

The White House’s early public relations recitation was glad to hand a microphone to a man whose atonal voice matched his takes.  I miss those carefree days when he’d call in from almost across the street.  News Corp is on Sixth Avenue in the 40s while Trump Tower is on Fifth in the 50s.  His aptitude for manipulation was tested early on producers.

Everyone’s sick of politicians.  As a result, we cope with someone who is a crude copy of a politician.  The repercussions of admiring a faux outsider extend beyond blaming Mitch McConnell for executive bumbling.  It’s adorable how there’s anyone left who think he’s truly passionate about a wall or ban or whatever vaguely conservative take he’s crudely paraphrasing in its basest form.

You may but shouldn’t be surprised that a supposed charmer says whatever he thinks will make people like him.  That’s the most amateur take on politics there is.  Some sweet kids persist in pretending he’s the first guy who thought he’d change everything.  Thinking time started last year makes everything feel like a surprise.

Voters shouldn’t believe it even more than he does.  Our president does possess the gift of thinking whatever he’s saying that moment is extraordinary.  He doesn’t know how to finish his thought.  Sure, it’s likely going to be praise for himself or someone who praised him.  But believing that starting a blog will change your life is different from posting twice per week.

We hope you’ve enjoyed about a year of lurching toward whatever he thinks that second.  As predicted scarily and dully accurately, there’s no follow-through because he doesn’t remember the thought’s first word.  If it’s frustrating to get no action, think about his gullible fans who have to convince themselves that he’s the boy band cool guy.  The New Kids on the Block posters are going to be awesome again soon.

Wanting Trump’s amazing image to be true doesn’t make it so.  Liberals demand that everyone gets awesome insurance, and instead the time spent in waiting rooms cuts into deductible-earning hours.

Conservatives are supposed to be into the politics of reality.  Now, some professed adherents believe that a fertilizer salesman was going to learn the system and disrupt it.  Read any of his tweets and just try concluding he’s fine at quick responses.  Those who think that his gut feeling will lead us to glory should brace for cramps.

Predicted chaos is still a bitch while coping with it.  Next time, listen to those seeking a trained demolition professional.  Someone with the demonstrated ability to blow up things is better than a guy with promises of dynamite.  Throwing it into the sky and shooting it may make for a fun spectacle, but it won’t level the promised structures. This is a neutron bomb sort of time.

The one thing better than a president with purportedly sweet reflexes is not having to respond in the first place.  Dream of of one day a leader who’s thought it out beforehand.  It might actually help deal with things.  Imagine controlling circumstances instead of bitching about what happened.  All you would need is power, like having the world’s most important job.

I’m only looking back because it’s a better coping mechanism for my teeth than meth.  Our devoted friends should stop fighting their own instincts and accept that the only thing worse than someone who doesn’t know what he’s doing is someone who’s convinced his very smart brain he does.

Our president has a good feeling, which means it’s time to short sell. You were excited the first day you learned about politics, too.  But he could at least pretend to think of how he could ruin us all.  I know he enjoys bossing.  Following whatever he thinks will get him praise is not even a real impulse.  But at least we can pretend it’s exciting not knowing what’s next.  We do know it’ll be rough and chaotic, which is the worst sort of predictability.

Policing Thieves

You’d hate to be judged by the worst among you.  Journalists note that’s their job.  But it’s what happens to cops every day they get told what oppressors they are for ensuring your wallet stays in your pocket.

It’s not that 100 percent of hires are dedicated to the job’s nobleness.  Police misconduct is a severe problem when it happens.  The question is how often that is.  But statistics don’t interest those who think $20 freaking trillion in debt bought us something useful.  People who think the next law will perfect us sure are upset about how they’re enforced.

I’ve been judging questionable law enforcement interactions on individual cases, which I thought was the point. But communalism is the cool new thing for people who prefer being lumped in groups.  It’s easier to duck responsibility.

Condemning the entirety based on cases people know by name may not be a proper type of sampling.  And I thought presumptions were bad.  But there’s an exception for those who would lay their lives on the line to protect you from actual evildoers.

The most tolerant among us see cops as seething rednecks who get paid to hunt black men for sport.  Forget them accepting that law enforcement officers have a tough job of keeping us from croaking of something other than old age.  The task of making murder rare is made harder by law and order foes who harass those on duty.  I’m sure they don’t loathe all cops out of a refusal to distinguish between good and bad. It’s as if they don’t care to learn the difference.

Call Colin Kaepernick when someone breaks in.  He’s not busy, although he’s slow to react.  The king of the ingrates essentially stole a paycheck back when he worked, so it’s unsurprising a de facto felon leads the middle-finger salute to cops.  Remember when he played football for a living?

Unlike failing to throw a ball well, police forces are punished for success. The best are despised the better they do, as the lack of crime makes the very people keeping it that way seem unnecessary.  Take cops off the streets to prove how needed they are.  It happened with Officer Barbrady.

Enjoy trying to debate people who make the assumption that only they believe in decency.  You’re against justice and equality, which in my book makes you a not very nice person.  The only alternative is that everyone wants universal respect and the methods are in dispute, but that would mean conservatives are humans.

Try to explain how horrifying individual abuses are nonetheless statistically unlikely to someone who thinks America is both just another country and an egregious one.  There might not even be widespread oppression in 2017, although that’s just what an oppressor who laughs at South Park would say.  The pie chart with the invisible sliver won’t stop smug proclamations about it on social media. People with no rights sure love declaring it.

I don’t want to call cruiser-flipper-offers shortsighted, but I can’t think of another way to proceed.  Those who think only cops should have guns don’t think much of the referees, if not thinking much means calling them tools of honky oppression.  The profession they hate the most is out to keep the bullets from flying.  Meanwhile, convicts are misunderstood victims of a repressive society.

Give power to a government that’s often run by people they despise, according to those who think everything out.  There are Republicans everywhere just ready to undo all that awesome free insurance and universal goodwill created by their infinitely kinder counterparts.

Handing that much authority to an entity that could soon be run by those you loathe doesn’t just prove flaws in central planning.  Even worse, it shows what it takes to enforce a diktat.  Free people don’t like being told what to do, which is the healthy Obamacare lesson its fans won’t take.

You’d think anyone against nightstick barrages would seek policies that didn’t give incredible power to who they claim are shock troopers with badges.  Every law carries with it the possibility of having to be enforced lethally.  If you’d like us to not comply because there’s nobody to make us buy crummy insurance, we’ll have to live with that.

It takes massive power to compel us benighted schlubs to do what they want.  The bossiness is for our own good, so thank those who are better than you.  The coercion should be a sign that what they believe isn’t desirable.  Instead, they just want us to do as they wish even if it’s a horrid idea.  That’s way worse than what any cop would do.

Nothing Conserved

A lack of hope is the key to contentment.  One must admit life is insufferable to feel at peace.  Take how electing a Republican makes it that much harder to elect a conservative. That would’ve made me crack my own head with a drained whiskey bottle two years ago.  But the actual experience is deflating enough that I’m blearily coping with the bleakness. Sure, we’re doomed.  But booze is still legal.

Still, we’re not about to elect someone who thinks cutting our unfathomable debt in half would be a good start.  Where would you find one?  There are certainly not an abundance of hopefuls who think you’re worth leaving alone in one of the two major parties.  Other options are minor for a reason.  The boiling doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think once you’re in the pan.  But I’d still prefer never growing accustomed.

The public is associating everything Donald Trump does with conservatism even though he has to be reminded every morning he’s supposed to be one.  The wholly tenuous link is now as normal as freaking out to his tweets.  Sure, he often pimps liberal initiatives and hasn’t removed remnants that the last charismatic cipher left as land mines.  But we got someone wearing the jersey we like, and isn’t it okay to win with a free agent?

Despite assurances from liberals that we’re living in an America-sized Galt’s Gulch, there’s no initiative passed this year that would make Bill Buckley smirk with delight.  Take how that whole buying-something-crummy-for-existing initiative is still being inflicted.  Republicans in multiple branches have decided to retain all the crummy parts of mandatory insurance while stapling streamers to the bill.  Make sure it’s festive enough to distract from how the tax code’s purpose is still to punish success.

Nothing’s going to save you when every order is pitched as a lifesaver.  The presumption that another law giving elected mongoloids more authority will fix it haunts both parties.  Limp authoritarians are like NFL coaches who’ve decided the stakes are too high to do something like let players make decisions.  Can we at least have fun taking risks if we’re going to lose?

A monolithic conglomerate with no competition nor incentive to help isn’t about to help.  Those with rosy takes presume government is an Uber ride that will carry them to safety while drunk downtown.  But it’s actually a local taxi.  You’re getting there slowly in a creepy Town Car that charges you 47 dollars for NPR and a lack of air conditioning while being driven by a felon.

Convince voters there’s a gulf between two identically oafish parties who assure us the government helps.  The notion that Washington helps is even more absurd considering those who hold it constantly interact with the horrid entity.  Sure, you can pay a certain percentage of people to think the economy’s swell.  But that may not spur productivity.  Notice the money’s source.  Kids who’ve been bribed with ice cream are convinced whichever lax parent did it is the coolest.  It sounds great until you have to cope with a ballooning sour stomach.

The argument gets louder the smaller the stakes.  It’s not that the issues are unimportant: it’s that the solution’s already been decided.  You may be unsurprised to know it involves taking more from you.  We really could use one party who holds government in contempt. We’re presently just one short.  I’ll count it as good news in the spirit of optimism that spurs this cheery term.

For now, play acting will have to suffice.  Republicans are going to forget to pretend one of these days, and we can only hope outright Obamacare praise is at least refreshing.  It will be nice to have bipartisanship.  Sure, those dealing will share philosophical contempt for the Constitution that’s only matched by their regrettable policy outcomes.  But arguing for actual things is so contentious.

The show is all this audience wants.  Shriek until forehead veins throb at opponents who want the same basic junk.  Kayfabe means there are no actual disagreements.  Archenemy wrestlers ride home together.

You get more choices everywhere but politics.  There are 73,000 television channels and basically one party.  Don’t let the lack of few options cause you to jump to conclusions about how crummy the government they represent is, as dissent harms unity and thus will be ruled illegal by the Supreme Court.

But at least there’s dress-up to distract you from the dreariness of your federally-issued jumpsuit.  The parties maintain slightly different personalities as they tell you what to do.  One pretends to inspire while the other blathers about treating you as a person before lumping you with the collective.  Politics is like getting to choose between NBC and CBS.  Sorry, ABC, but the third option would spoil everything.

We Retort, You Deride

If the president assures us something is true while the press claims it’s certainly a lie, how would you reassemble the universe after the paradox tears our continuum?  Reporting on Donald Trump is the easiest and hardest job on Earth.  Somehow, brave truth-tellers screw up a task that makes being in Congress seem hard.  Guardians of truth don’t attend trade schools because they’d trip and bump their noggins on the way into the room learning how to weld.

The press hates this president in a way that makes Opie and Anthony seem like lovebirds. It’s hard to trust them on anonymous sources when they can’t keep their rage secret.  That seething contempt makes people who were awful at their cushy jobs even worse.  Ironically, the subjective snarling keeps their precious bogeyman in office.

Noting the oaf-in-chief’s every move should be enough to do him in, especially since he’s often trying liberal silliness. But those following him as a profession don’t appreciate just why he struggles to be presidential, as that’d require introspection. Overreaction makes the same public that won’t sully pond scum by comparing it to CNN suspicious of the coverage, not the man covered.

Journalists can’t restrain themselves, which is unsurprising if you’ve ever met any.  No other profession features a wider chasm between enlightenment and ego, which naturally leads to compensating by explaining complex issues as daftly as possible.

Facts are boring.  Who wants to just note what happened?  Unfortunately, that’s what reporting is, which many of those in the profession don’t bother to learn before choosing a major.  To make themselves feel as important as they know they are, they have to veer into preening.

They’re the smartest even though pursuing journalism careers proves it’s not so.  And their belief that only they hold enlightened views makes them even more pleasant. Since they’re the kind of sanctimonious twits who think killing babies is women’s health and inventing a new definition of marriage means equality, they sound dimmer the more didactic they get.

If pros in an amateur field were smarter, they wouldn’t be trying their hardest to make Trump’s wholly implausible reelection bid more realistic.  The refusal to admit how much they helped in get to the White House in the first place shows how good they are at learning.

Everyone missed an opportunity for amity.  You’d think crusading muckrakers get along with a pretty frequent big-government fan in the Oval Office.  Listen to him explain how he can fix everything, which requires the federal force to which he astoundingly has access.  And the ostensibly Republican president adores the bluster that pompous reporters find admirable in themselves.  Both parties sound like Ted Baxter without Mary Richards there to deflate him.

How about those promises?  Trump’s preserved so many of Obama’s pinko initiatives by promising to do something while getting nothing done. Blather is his signature.  It’s easier than autographing something.

Media members would’ve known they were pimping an unsuitable hopeful if they had only done their freaking jobs.  Instead, they treated a realtor who bought space in their heads like a soup can Hillary could punch out easily.  Losing to Glass Joe is their punishment for finding such a lout entertaining.  The problem is we suffer, too.  He’s been acting this way since the Reagan presidency, so give them a bit more time before they discover.

You’d think wannabe novelists would appreciate the irony of bailing out someone they hate more than that Hitler cyborg Koch Industries built. But they’re too busy being outraged to appreciate the contrast. Trump’s only hope is overreaction by foes.  As usual, he’s beholden to circumstances.  But they may hand this luckiest of bastards yet another bailout.  The fact he doesn’t deserve any is irrelevant if you’ve been paying attention to how the universe operates.

We’ve never seen such mutual self-loathing, especially when both parties are this arrogant.  They should focus on common ground like how each wants easy work.  Trump craves praise and expects everything to improve after he bitches about it.  Meanwhile, the media begs to be portrayed as crusading heroes for transcribing speeches.  A bit of delusion should unite them.

Simple recounting of daily events would harm this presidency as much as objectively biased correspondents want.  Editorial flourishes only make people it should be easy to convince shriek about fake news. Worst of all, it’d be easy.  The only thing journalists like more than presuming liberals are right is filing a story in 10 minutes. But their prolonged moaning wastes precious happy hour time.

Trump thought he’d insult his way to adulation.  Lame outrage by those who should be writing down facts is the only thing keeping him in business.  The fighting is the only thing helping each get the ratings they crave.  This relationship is beyond dysfunctional.  But both sickos get something out of it, so don’t expect a breakup.