Any restaurant billing itself as world-famous isn’t. On a related note, purported alpha males totally aren’t overcompensating for insecurity. Announce something clearly evident just to confirm. Prove you’re a leader of men by adulating one guy for whom you were lucky enough to vote. Try to be subtle about sniffing the crotch.
Our president has spent decades crafting an imitation of what a rugged tough guy is supposed to be like, which we should hope our enemies don’t realize. Donald Trump is so fake in his assertiveness that it’s embarrassing, which should be the most obvious thing ever said about politics. Does anyone think this is for real?
A convincing con just takes a commitment to blatantness. To be fair, he’s only been this way his entire adult life, so why would anyone notice just yet? Please feel welcome in our world, where a craftily-framed Snapchat can make your horrifying life seem fun.
Trump’s sensitive feelings are news to those who fantasize about leaving the Republican Party because everyone else is mean to him. He commandeered the party like a true alpha dog. Sure, he’s flailed while whining about these dang checks and balances that someone really should have informed him about before he started winning primaries. But he’s just afraid you won’t like him, so maybe sit with him at lunch and try to get to know him.
Or, just write him off as a jerk. Any amateur remotely interested in psychology could’ve pointed out the preening decades ago. Slapping his name on everything, in gold if possible, is surely a sign of someone as happy as he is healthy. And bonking as many women as possible who look like they dated Hugh Hefner in 1987 is quite secure. We should remain impressed by bedding porn stars, especially while keeping a wife waiting.
Who needs church? Pray in front of the White House. It’s hard to separate government and religion when government is your religion. At least one party used to pretend to not worship in Washington. But self-professed tough guys speak of a rather mortifying term-filler as savior. They reverently whisper of how he didn’t need to be president but selflessly took Earth’s most powerful job to redeem us. If that’s not loud enough, look for paintings of him heroically staring into the distance as their Twitter header photos.
Life seems really pleasant thanks to the prevalence of thinking jerkiness pays off. I agree that being born into wealth and profession is the way to go, so be really rude about those who didn’t try it. If you think Trump’s attitude creates success, don’t check any of his boasts. Actually doing it is the hard part, so give our poor executive a break. You try making people enjoy throwing away money at blackjack tables in Atlantic City.
Neither reviving Herbert Hoover nor shtupping Playmates is Trump’s greatest offense. Even worse, he’s giving credence to the horrifying idea that mouthy confrontation is effective. That’s not what a bunch of raging faux brutes need to hear as advice. It was wise of him to face Hillary, just as you should have found cable networks to prop you up. Bluster is accomplishment in these fulfilling times. Sure, there’s nothing brawny about mouthing off because someone else hurt your feelings. But it’s nice to vent.
Not every Trump supporter uses him as a proxy for insecurities. Many voters are far more practical than he claims to be. Politics is nothing more than deciding who is marginally less contemptible. Those who think he was the less horrible option are accustomed to rolling their eyes over the latest sordid tale of bonking an ardent consumer of bleach and plastic while being glad for a tax cut. You can appreciate the intermittent accomplishments without being impressed by his dedication to adultery.
Why not try a new hobby if the present one doesn’t bring joy? Many people who try genital-swinging to relax seem to only grow more miserable. Perhaps try acting like a rugged male instead of announcing it. Those who think they’re proving they embody masculinity probably shouldn’t follow another guy with stars in their eyes. That especially means not doing so for a politician and even more specifically this one. The Manhattan real estate tycoon is one of you.