Useless Scorecards

Today’s plot twists aren’t as amusing as they appear on the page.  Life is a Law & Order episode where the allegedly surprising change in suspect is more predictable than keeping the first scumbag as the perp.  Trying to tell who’s who is unpleasant when everyone deserves our contempt.  Let’s call all parties guilty to keep things easy.

Everyone’s insane.  Sure, it’s been true at every point in the history of our demented species on this godforsaken space rock.  But we’ve never been worse at concealing it before.  I blame a cranky president who spurs the same reaction from both sides.  Also, each side is confused about what they’re supposed to loathe.  We’re getting along starting… now.

Contrarianism can lead to smugness if not treated.  Take how often ostensibly conservative Donald Trump foes side with Democrats as they condemn him for same.  It’s hard to claim they’re about integrity while hoping that the incumbent could be as bipartisan as, say, Michelle Obama.

Doing whatever he doesn’t seems mature, so keep showing that dang Trump by deciding that everything he thinks is wrong.  He has on occasion expressed vaguely worthwhile notions such as contempt for global enemies of freedom, even if uncouthly.

But the opposite’s just as bad.  It’s very zen.  Watch for whiplash from nodding along as a Republican explains why federal control is good for you.  Why vote if you want to think things out?  Party tattoos are as convenient for inspiring clear minds as taxpayer-funded subsidies.

Why is being suckered is such a popular hobby?  That’s the only remaining question.  The president’s purportedly conservative fans either never believed the messages recited after feeding them through their Mark Levin Decoder Rings or just dreamed of being dominated by the side they supported all along.  At least it’s clear what partisan factions think of as important.  It’s not principles, unless changing them depending on the label counts.

It’s tough to remember if the government messing with the economy is cool now.  Both sides are defending liberal goofiness like it’s intrinsic to their brands.  At least liberals reflexively opposing Trump amuse us by allying themselves with strange new partners. Watching Obama stooges condemn tariffs like they’re Ayn Rand heroes is one of the few amusing things about our time.

Well, that’s one way to get liberals to care about free commerce.  All it took was an ex-Democrat pretending to be a Republican out of convenience.  Don’t tell them that he basically stole their ideas.  Trump may be a statist who’s commandeered a party that used to at least feign respect for autonomy.  But the crude patriotic sheen sure is comforting.

It’s not that they were worth taking.  Trump offers an unpleasantly eclectic mix of nostalgia for the worst economic ideas of past decades.  The criminally pointless tariffs of the 1930s paired with the irrational suspicion of Asia that plagued the 1980s are bad enough.  Add the fatuous insistence on federal bribery that didn’t drive the economy during the previous 10 years, and you end up with a president whose sense of design is so tacky that he thinks black glass is cool.

You can’t condemn a silly idea until you find out who proposed it.  Maybe you enjoy tracking who is in the tank for whom.  I’ve been done with it since the preseason.  The severe fighting over the most trivial differences is as tiresome as being told what to do by the messianic lunkhead who should feel mortified to have gotten your vote.

It’s a shame we can’t just thank both sides for spending what’s yours. Telling apart two clumsily monolithic parties is like trying to distinguish between the half-white, half-black Star Trek races, and only nerds really care.

Which party is right for you?  Stay in tonight.  The process is actually easy to discard once you stop caring.  Just remember that attempting to distinguish them is pointless.  Isn’t that a relief?  There’s not one side trusting you to monitor your own finances, so at least it’s easy to despise both factions.

An idea’s validity changes based on who won the election.  The dictionary people say we call it Hannitizing.  Shameless partisanship wouldn’t be so deflating if both sides were trying to claim worthwhile ideas.  But dedicated zombies aren’t noting, say, Social Security is neither.  Instead, the most pointless argument possible revolves around which side gets credit for bossing us around.  It’s unsurprising that people so dedicated to not thinking things out pimp such crummy ideas.

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Sometimes Never

Never means always.  It’s confusing in a different way than Donald Trump’s attempts to be polite.  Conservatives who vowed they’d cheer for Russia at the Olympics before supporting a New York City liberal for president continue to cope with realizing this is the demented timeline.  Rain should presumably fall sideways in the normal existence where Bobby Jindal ran a competent campaign.

The only comfort when everything’s on backward is noticing it’s uncomfortable.  It is still fun to not be aligned with a crude oaf, which is one of life’s few semi-joys. Figuring how to cope is still proceeding deep into his term.  If it makes you feel better, he’s still trying to learn how to deal with it, too.  His tweets would be embarrassing from one of his voters with a crying eagle avatar.

The whole point of not buying the QVC steaks is to remain conservative.  That means not letting Trump determine what that is, as he didn’t even skim the CliffsNotes for Thomas Sowell’s books.  But it also means what it’s not.  This wandering executive might have done something that was tangentially deserving of modest recognition.  Don’t let someone who’s made a virtue out of ignorance define you either way.

Casting lots with liberals means lots of hypocrisy.  Trump is inconsistent, which is as obvious as noting he thinks somewhat highly of himself.  But his unwillingness to obey standards means he’s sometimes accurate. Throw enough darts while spinning and one’s bound to eventually hit a bullseye, even if it means many puncture wounds first.

Making a show out of disagreeing is not the best way to remain levelheaded.  Doing so has become a fashionable career, naturally, although hopefully one as doomed to obsolescence as the horsewhip factory.  Everyone knows the Twitter personalities, at least in one sense.  Professional resisters sound wistful when they talk of Hillary and were unimpressed by Americans getting to keep more of what they earn like true conservatives.

The president can be intermittently sensible depending on the last staffer who talked to him.  Trump has by coincidence remembered that he’s connected to a party that at least used to pretend it didn’t want to harass you. His sincere faking is the best we can hope for on our rather strange DC Comics timeline.

The wary reflexively think Trump is about to set tariffs or swear at someone who noticed his fondness for porn stars.  Observers regularly feel that the man from the party that last nominated Mitt Romney is both scummy and liberal. Sure, the instinct is often validated. But there are those happy moments where he occasionally mentions something that could be marginally considered sensible. Happiness is easier to treasure when it’s rare.

The Presidential Random Position Generator keeps us on our toes, in part because it’s always malfunctioning.  The capricious nature of his positions would be less disturbing were he in a position somewhere below the frigging presidency.

At least, we can know we’ve properly calibrated based on where he wanders.  Of course, that’s not his intention.  But inadvertent benefits still count, especially with so few things going well by design.  And at least we’re on our toes.  Observers can’t presume he’s as right as Reagan or as despicable as the average CNN reporter.

His icky demeanor is sure to make agreement feel unseemly even if he’s technically correct.  Remember that he’s not saying what he believes if it helps make judgment easier.  Someone having no principles shouldn’t cause us to abandon ours. Or, you could just decide that everything he says is ridiculous even if you don’t focus on the bloviating tone.  I thought letting Trump label you was bad.

Critics prepare to savage him whenever his lips pout for the sake of saving time.  But our trainee president sometimes makes a good point, even if it often includes odd grammar and random capitalization.  It’s important to not criticize him automatically even though that feels natural.

Pretend Trump isn’t speaking.  It’s good for mental health.  Even more than avoiding the looney bin, it’s healthy to think about whether the words he’s saying make sense.  It may not happen often, but even the Browns are bound to win a game one of these years.

Figure out the principle first for ease of calculation.  Agreeing with a politician first is like thinking buying lots of stuff from a country means we have a deficit.  Oh, right: this one does that.  At the same time, knee-jerk rejection supposedly ended upon his election, which by the way still feels like an odd dream.  But those cursed to follow current events can refuse to let him set the terms, including the juvenile urge to reject wherever dad says we’re going on vacation as lame.  Branson could be a blast.

Creating sympathy for a loathsome president by incessantly criticizing him is a little too perfect symbol for our time.  Hating something just because Trump likes it is something Trump would do. Don’t copy him.  That’s the point, right?

Peddling Claptrap

The shrewd customer avoids preposterous pitches delivered by salesman from the other party.  If you vote for someone, they’re now considered honest.  Wariness of gullibility depends on who’s selling.  Integrity is linked to party affiliation in what’s the precise opposite of it.  Getting ripped off is now comforting.

Speaking of pitchmen to ignore, Donald Trump pimping liberalism is a test to see who’s paying attention.  Of course, the president doesn’t mean it as such, but we take tests of forthrightness where we find them.  The chance to be seduced by a trusted politician means you should trust those in power, as that’ll keep them from breaking your heart.

It’s so easy to find wrong answers.  The internet means we can find information instantly.  Alternately, we find so much information instantly that we just skim headlines, leading to the unique condition where those who have spent one-third of a second on a story lecture the rest of their Facebook feeds.  Expertise takes a full minute.

A lack of principles in others shouldn’t affect us.  But this world is cruel in who’s affected by the oafishness of others.  Remember to thank the president for putting Republicans in the position of having to either support nonsense or side with Democratic criticism.

It’s not that our liberal friends should be exempt.  Mocking everyone is bipartisan, so take glee in pointing out what’s wrong with everyone.  Trump has made them so deranged that they’re starting to make sense.

Democrats would love Russia again if only Trump could bring himself to say it sucks there.  It wouldn’t be the first reversal.  Take how they’re suddenly horrified by infringements on free markets. All it took for them to realize government kicks commerce in the crotch was Trump agreeing.  It’s a shame that basic psychology led to discarding principles, but at least they’re starting to learn about human nature.

Resist close to home.  Now, that’s a sudden idea.  States are treated as laboratories, which is amusing for those who think it’s novel.  Treat laws tried below the national level like an experiment.  We could call it federalism.  Pair states’ rights with congressional obstruction, and slowing stupid government might become the cool new trend.

The reason it’s tiresome to ask what the reaction would be if Barack Obama did it is because it’s obvious.  Imagine the part-time law lecturer and professor uttering the exact same ridiculously counterproductive contempt for open exchange as the next guy to be glad you don’t have to cope with such cognitive dissonance.

Pick your favorite Democratic bogeyman.  Obama’s Venn diagram with Trump on tariffs is a circle.  The last cultish celebrity president could’ve read the exact words, presuming he remembers how, and the sudden contempt for the same ideas would provoke much merriment if we weren’t coping with higher prices.  Trump’s predecessor maybe might use more subtle insults, but the intonation shouldn’t change everything.

I miss the old corruption.  Parties who feigned caring for things are better than how cool the person is.  Now, the two loathsome beasts are distinguished by one placing a patriotic sheen on government messing with you.  It’s fine to be beaten into submission if you choose the dominatrix. Don’t ask to see the logo without permission.

We don’t need this many examples of why loyalty should to principles and not people.  But we may as well use them while they’re around.  Learning from unfortunate choices is today’s contribution to humanity.  Cheering horrid words from a preferred leader embodies mindless partisanship in a way that’ll keep political scientists busy, and they appreciate any work you can volunteer.

Politicians may be unwise to trust.  This may not be a new idea. I know this trusting moment in history is no time to scoff at those with authority, but they may not be here to selflessly serve.

This is a good time to remember they’re all atrocious.  Of course, there’s no bad time.  But far too many of today’s crummiest examples have made politics a little too easy to hate. Presuming a haphazard liberal embodies conservatism make it almost too easy. Trump’s as loyal as a traded NFL player, not that he ever learned from owning a team in the league.

Trump is allegedly the best at pimping merchandise and concepts.  Meanwhile, he hasn’t sold a thing from his office despite constantly pressuring us to buy timeshares.  His challenges come despite a built-in percentage of customers who will always buy the guaranteed warranty.

The incumbent is selling an idea, which is the reason for indulging in 1980s conspicuous tackiness.  Getting ripped off by an admired politician doesn’t make it right.  In fact, start despising everyone who wins an election like a true American, unless being told what to do by the right government office-fillers is how we embrace liberty. It’s up to the mark lured into the office to resist the ostensible confidence.  Bring duct tape for your hands if it’ll make taking out wallets harder.

Online and Outdone

Social media is great except for how it makes us keep to ourselves and ruins communication.  Everyone seems really happy about staring at a screen for a living and leisure, as seen by how we want to destroy any being residing in our tablets who dares dissent from our tolerant beliefs.

The parasitical sensation doesn’t help.  Sites harvest every last detail about us, and they must be impressed with what complete and decent people use their cyber-products.  Facebook wants to know about you because it’s the best friend of them all.

Complaining is easier than any other time in history, which is good news because I have quite the list of things I despise.  Ironically, there are countless moans to direct at the companies that enable instant worldwide kvetching.

Take how normal folks would present the information from those they chose to follow to in chronological order.  That is because you think like a human and are therefore incorrect.  Robots are here to decide what you see, and they impartially make you forget about that band you liked so you could track their updates.

The algorithms that decide what we learn better be sagacious, as we’d otherwise everyone would end up uninformed in nastiness. Until the devices become self-aware and slaughter us by the millions, the calculation is still controlled by humans.  The cyborg’s quislings don’t care what anyone else in the species wants. The forced selection is the one thing dumber than social media users.

There’s no free market when it comes to seeing what you want on your silly time-wasting app.  Our self-appointed online guardians don’t believe in it.  Like all good liberals, pompous hipster proprietors exhibit no trust in the judgment of anyone else.  They’ll show you what they want first, which is a byproduct of them knowing how the world should be.  Check their stock prices in three years to confirm.

The news starts now.  Modern techno-men don’t have to wait for one of three pompous anchors at 6:30 p.m. to explain why conservatives are poisoning the planet for a couple bucks.  Personalized news feeds are the modern way of avoiding bias, not to mention an illustration of how easy journalism is.  And silence sounds great.  Social media participants may block and mute anyone wished.  The roster of scumbaggery should enjoy being ignored.

Contemporary industrialists create quasi-products that let you share pictures and words that sort-of exist.  Those who enable time-wasting think it makes them smarter about what you want to see.  Social media overlords messing with timelines leads to slanted reporting if you can believe it.  By sheer chance, our irksome interconnected sites all trend liberal in the same sense AOL disks aren’t helping you get on the line.

There can be only one violator.  Facebook gained at Myspace’s expense as boredom won out.  I miss smart-assed parody account friends.  Privacy intrusions result from the nature of only having one option for sharing workout details, bitching about the news of the moment, or pretending saturated colors make photographing a Starbucks cup artistic.

But some parts of business never change even as they enter the ether. Virtual barons think they can maintain monopolies.  For being so far into history, modern people never check history.  For now, there are single dominant sites for respectively finding nudie ladies, updates on high school classmates going on vacation, and replying to the president’s crude bulletins.  But the bloated nature of contemporary commercial tyrants means it won’t last.  I’ve heard the internet permits innovation as long as you can remember passwords.

Our online social betters sure are arrogant for such bores.  The observation would be called trolling if it weren’t accurate.  Only those on the outside see the value of these goofy sites.  Researchers have yet to find a Twitter employee’s interesting account.  The haughty drones’ insatiable need to meddle with something that works well ruins things for those who’ve actually almost made it useful. And that’s before the site decided Nazis must be silenced and also that those who want limited government qualify.

That stupid bird app’s proprietors discovered something amazing by accident that they can’t help but ruin with horrid ideas.  Twitter is the George Lucas of social media.

Being filmed constantly is okay if it makes us famous.  Modern humans are worried about the police state as we state where we are every minute. It’s not 1984 if we all volunteered.

The difference between chosen and coerced surveillance is the same as hating the insurance you picked and being forced to buy it.  But we’re still giving it all up.  The only thing worse than exposing our secrets out of habit is forgetting there are also humans on the other side.  They’re all just loser nerds, so call them names for disagreeing.

America might not make things anymore, but it’s okay as long as we have souls to sell.  We’re the product of this particular commercial revolution. It’s a small price to pay for free virtual magazines.  Those peddling us think they know what we want to consume.  You’d think information guardians who monitor our every click would know what people like to see by now.

Stinking Instincts

The voice inside you can teach you to be brave.  Usually, it just screams to run for your life.  Take our president’s example, as that’s the person who’s at the top and is thus the most trustworthy.  Donald Trump’s purportedly famous instincts consist of nothing more than chasing cheers.  Create harmony by  believing the same things everyone else does.  You can’t be accused of changing your mind if you forgot what you claimed five minutes ago.

It’s amazing how this leader always has the right reactions, as if that moment’s audience is hearing exactly what they’d like.  To be fair, it’s tough to discern whether the executive is lying to curry favor or if his particular target is so willing to be seduced that they’ll recite debit card numbers.  The urge to please the other party epitomizes selflessness.

Trump thinks you’re great.  The feeling’s mutual.  Loyalty is not always a virtue, as Jonestown residents who weren’t even thirsty learned the hard way.  On this continent, the president’s knack for saying just what his supporters want to hear makes him remarkable, like everything else about their beloved savior. He is not actually some of those things.

It’s not that Trump’s naturally thinking amazing truths as much as he is saying something those listening want to be true.  Actually doing a thing is the tricky part, which is why our wise leader cuts labor by not bothering to follow through.

He said he likes you and that means you’re special.  There’s no way another human has heard those words before.  It’s not to oppose sweetness, but all the president’s doing is saying whatever he thinks will impress the audience he happens to be facing.   This is not what would be classified as typical bravery.  Shifting words are as valuable as fundamental ethics in these pleasant times. It’s not lying: it’s just changing one’s mind when there are consequences.

You believe Joe Besser was the best Stooge?  Yeah, me too: I dig how he refused to be clunked in the head, as the shorts were no place for lowbrow humor.  Agree with anything Trump says to get him to truly respect you.  Lack of principles is seen as a virtue because it allows so much flexibility.  And there’s no reason to ponder ahead when you’re going to make up an answer on the spot.  The thing is that someone trying to make you happy will do the same with another audience.  It’s shocking the person who cheated to be with you cheated on you.

To be fair, our stalwart president is not entirely without a belief system.  Trump thinks he’s the best, and it’s nice to have a guiding principle.  Like most people with no foundational philosophy outside self-reverence, he’s drawn to claiming federal action will fix whatever happens.  The government should so something, and not doing anything means they’re letting suffering happen in a world that could otherwise be perfected. It’s remarkable how ignorance lends itself to liberalism, huh?

Run a popularity contest with a president who’s never going to be that popular.  His disciples loathe hearing that he’s parroting whatever sounds good that second.  That doesn’t make it untrue. He couldn’t just be for the symbolism of looking at a giant wall out of a vague sense that it polls well in the sticks, which to him is everywhere past Queens.

Jazz should sound more pleasant.  The president has the wrong improvisational influence, namely himself instead of Charlie Parker. He’ll just make it up and know it’s going to sound like angels comprise his rhythm section.  Trump forgot his oral book report was that day, so he’ll glance at the cover and try to explain the plot.

I can’t believe anyone believed it.  Those who thought a New York City reality show host was going to be better than those elected slimeballs making outlandish claims still haven’t apologized.  Their idol taught them admitting imperfection is weak.  We’ll just have to note his job and how often he’s been casual with truth while trying to seduce voters.  They were tired of being fooled by a politician, so they allowed themselves to be fooled by someone who is cruder at lying.

Ha ha: some of your fellow Americans actually believed he’d be different.  It’d be more amusing if that gullibility wasn’t keeping us from having an adult president who knows a trade deficit just means we bought lots of things we wanted. Please enjoy waiting for your wall with the knowledge it’s about to spring out of the ground.  Set up a campsite near the border to monitor progress.

It’s amazing he said exactly what you wanted to hear.  That’s too uncanny to dismiss.  Coping with the realization that he’s nothing more than a suck-up is daunting.  But they fell for it in the first place if you felt sympathy for three seconds.  All they can do is start learning right now.

Avoid indulging the instinct to claim he has good instincts.  Trump just another politician.  That’s devastating for some to to learn, especially because being bad at it is his whole approach.  If it makes you feel less lonely, this isn’t the first time he cheated on someone.

Old Schooled

There’s not a new kind of politician because zero of them have ever existed. Even the first ones were copying the worst parts of human nature early in the story.  I’m sorry to be a world-weary cynic, although I assure you it’s natural and not some affectation.  But everyone who’s held an office ever follows a pattern.  Pretending the latest will rattle our expectations might feel exciting, but the notion that life can be both interesting and delightful is a sucker’s wager.

As for a guy who lost money spinning roulette wheels, Donald Trump is 71 and holds older ideas.  We’re not talking about classics like God granting you the right to run your mouth or defend your house.  His preferred policies are more along the lines of those discredited before he was even born into wealth.

The 1930s are back, and it’s not as fun of a throwback as the return of Members Only jackets would be.  Hipsters should only copy antiquated notions like suspenders and hand-carved ice cubes, not horrid financial battles.  This White House’s fondness for obsolete resentment is as icky as his tacky design taste.  At least New Yorkers can walk past Trump Tower’s pink marble quickly.

I’ve got bad news if you think this is the revolution, as you’ve already lost.  The peace treaty is handed to those who think they’re dictating terms.  The supposed outsider has been locked inside the whole time, which makes me wish M. Night Shyamalan could come up with new twists.  Trump is not starting a trend but rather concluding one. He really is a guy past retirement age pursuing ancient nonsense, which is disappointing beyond the script’s weakness.

You’d think someone on the vanguard of a new political movement wouldn’t tweet like a grandparent who gets news updates from Michael Savage. His bitchy attacks on anyone who disagrees are as bad as his maddening tendency to capitalize random words.  Dad’s still forwarding emails with WorldNetDaily links.  Trump acts like a Trump voter.

Can we not look at Mexico anymore?  The fixation on a physical barrier surely has nothing to do with obsession over a symbol.  Trump seems totally not insecure, so he’d surely advocate for more border patrols if that’d help as opposed to being able to point to a structure. Needing something that simple isn’t the style of the red hat guy with his name in gold.

Sure, there are other ways to protect the line between us and our southern neighbors.  But none of those involve something you can look at to feel like you did something useful.  Actually building the object in question is forthcoming, possibly, not really.  For people so fixated on items, this administration sure doesn’t care about tangible progress.

A Republican who thought free trade was dooming us isn’t precisely novel.  It’s too bad modern people aren’t willing to learn what happened more than 40 seconds ago, as it’d be possible to then realize that Trump’s pet policies lengthened the Great Depression while shortening Herbert Hoover’s presidency.  All we know as humans is that tariffs tick off other countries as much as they do raise prices.  Unfortunately, the only ones unaware of the experiment results are the president and everyone under his spell.

Trump’s ideas are new to him, which much mean they’re radical. In reality, he’s the last of a generation, and not in a charming ’50s diner jukebox sort of way.  His irrational fear of letting in anyone else applies in more ways than one.  A guy who spent the 1980s fretting Japan would kamikaze our economy decided we’re threatened by being able to buy cheap Chinese steel.  To Trump, Asians are Mexicans who don’t live next door.

Our ever-innovative president’s fixation on fatuous notions from a century ago is almost as endearing as his inability to change.  His fans may be surprised that we tried every apparently novel thing he suggests.  If they think that’s bad, wait until they learn the results.  For him, it’s personal.  Trump is about trying to preserve what he has. That doesn’t stop with a fortune begone with inheritance and continued with bitchy bluffing.  But it doesn’t begin there, either.

The president thinks he’s making steel great again.  Noting that truly thriving industries don’t need protection is as pointless to him as realizing humans didn’t protect the hand-sowing industry after tractors were invented.  Progress is irrelevant when you think negotiation screws one of the voluntary parties.  Don’t bother telling him that a trade deficit just means Americans decided to buy more things at an agreeable price and that we’re not really down if we get things in return, as it’s too much math.

A cranky nursing home resident with Fox News constantly on who’s relying on superstition gets the nuke codes.  Nobody should feel flabbergasted that an insulated crank born in 1947 believes ideas that are as advanced as Oldsmobile.  Foolish humans tried every silly thing this president suggests, only with more manners.  Results aren’t going to scare him in a testament to the downside of persistence.  Trump’s spend his life dodging consequences.  Why would he understand them?

Morale Fail

Science fiction got it right, and we must credit the nerds.  Every dystopian projection from every book cherished by high schoolers who prefer novels to proms has involved humans turning to mush when machines do all the work, including thinking.  We’re living a creepy misfit’s tale.

Life is comfortable enough that things might be going too well.  I blame devices for making people useless, which is of course the sort of responsibility-dodging move impersonal technology would count as a victory if it were capable.  Give it a few more months.

It’s easy to become an ingrate when so much is available at a touch of a button.  Take comfort in knowing cushiness could all disappear in an instant.  It’s a popular hobby in its way.  Americans are doing their darndest to show how much they loathe floating through their days. Brainless whining is going to make citizens miss the soft way things are.

We can tell the economy is okay because people bitch about it.  Moaning is actually a career option in one of the free market’s more amusing benefits. The uninterested observer doesn’t even notice it’s working.  Infringing on the right to mutually-negotiated trade is the one thing that’ll make us miss it. Praising income controls while wallowing in every benefit of the precisely opposite system is such a 2018 move.

Wanting to fiddle with a properly-operating machine is natural.  It’s easy to see something working without intervention and presume we can make it better.  It’s also entirely foolish, which is why people do it all the time.

Safe urban living ticks off everyone who thinks the potential to get murdered make life exciting.  Can’t we bring back muggings for nostalgia’s sake?  If that’s not Bill de Blasio’s intent, he should fib.  New York City was livable for such a short time that it almost seems like a film plot.  The return of quality-of-life crimes signifies that the 1970s are back. Hopping turnstiles is as trendy as hating successful people who pay for services and provide jobs.

Disempowering scumbags made a lousy city tolerable. Knickerbockers shouldn’t have to hop over junkies to dodge bums.  Instead, the hoodlums are doing the mayor’s bidding.  You must respect them demanding spare change when they’re not spray-painting purported art on your building or stealing a fare. It’s nice to know who’s really in charge if not precisely pleasant to realize.

Pouting crabs should be more appreciative of the gun nuts who are prepared to shoot tyrants.  The fact such conflict hasn’t happened is a sign safeguards are working.  We don’t have to do battle with a government precisely because there’s a way to fight back.  The refusal to notice the effect’s cause is a hallmark of liberalism.  The ensuing misery is a direct result that’s ignored, as well.

The Second Amendment was an acknowledgment by the Founders that jerks might take their jobs. The very measure against rotten criminals and politicians is why it hasn’t occurred.  Fear keeps politicians from turning into rulers. Naturally, sweet kids love claiming that the lack of confrontation means said means can be revoked.  Also, throw out fire extinguishers if they go unused.

It’s impossible to mention how many houses don’t burn down because we install smoke detectors.  We may as well presume they’re not working. They just sit there eating batteries.  In different blaze terms, don’t bother mentioning the endless potential crimes go uncommitted in states that permit the law-abiding to fire back.  How can you even count what didn’t happen, you vicious sorcerer?

The same invisible prevention applies to fighting terror, where measures to interdict have made us safe enables smug twits to proclaim there’s no jihadi slaughter problem.  Our efforts to stymie corpse junkies have kept many of us alive.  There’s no better way to show gratitude than by claiming the measures are useless and mean.  Next, kick the dyke for blocking the view.  Floods aren’t a problem, so why are we trying to hold back water?

Ingrates define our time, even if only because nobody else can be heard over the sighing.  It’s okay to be unappreciative, as petulance is a sign circumstances are going well.  But try not to drag down everyone else with chronic melancholy.

This is a golden era for never growing.  Only a teenager with every material desire addressed could feel the world is unfair.  Many of our fellow citizens fill the definition no matter the age.  America is in a state of adolescence where pouters are determined to ruin everything that enables it.

Our ridiculously advanced existence is so cozy that it’s resented.  We’d see how much we missed our comforts quite quickly, so keep announcing that socialism means helping each other if you’d like to appreciate their absence.