The thought of residing in a tiki lounge bunker on Mars with seven favorite Suicide Girls is one way to cope with our present planet sucking it. For those resigned to being stuck here, projecting scenarios is the best way to deal with reality when you’re out of angel dust.
Trying to replicate the affects of narcotics is especially necessary for our particular reality. The twist is we’re living on Earth-Two where all the strange stuff happens. It figures that DC Comics is running this gloomy reality. I dream of crossing dimensions to get on the normal planet where President Mitt toasts to North Korea’s disarmament with a malted milk.
Wondering what could have been is an acceptable hobby to escape this dumb world. But many of those who caused it are the ones letting their minds wonder, which will be banned starting when my congressman heeds my letter. Failing legislation, escapism is still supposed to be the bystander’s option. Instead, responsible parties are acting as irresponsibly as possible. They’re looking for excuses to compensate for their actions. So, that’s why they’re into collective blame.
“At least he beat Hillary” is the first line in Donald Trump’s Wikipedia until editors catch it. But is he the only Republican who would’ve been able to claim that? Asking if not-Trump would have won is a pointless figurative question. That just makes it like his proposals.
The insolent amateur presidency drives its most ardent fans even more insane. Remaining shock troopers naturally compensate by claiming the guy who pulled it off in this preposterous reality was the only one who could topple whatshername.
I almost don’t blame them. Everyone’s stuck with this outcome, so we may as well entertain ourselves with scenarios about what if. That’s the case even if we weren’t the ones yelling “Punch it!” as the guardrail approached. Turn to Marvel’s penchant for daydreaming about slight changes with drastic results as a form of redemption. Trump fans should enjoy discussing pretend scenarios, as it conforms with his accomplishments and conservatism. Are you enjoying the swamp-draining?
We wanted useful combat maneuvers and instead got lame slap fights over trite disputes between egomaniacs. I hope winning was worth it. Those dogged by principles wonder if someone who offered more than noticing Obama sucks would’ve not only won but swung the popular vote, as well. That’s not the kind of theory Trump fans prefer. But they may be surprised they’re still not dictating terms.
A few more million votes would’ve gotten Hillary fans to pipe down, which is preferable even if their tears are delicious. Sure, it’s fun to note they don’t know how the Constitution works. But those extra ballots would’ve helped a Republican president make a case for his agenda. The incumbent doesn’t have to worry about such trifling matters on account of how he doesn’t have one. The technicality means he beat the system yet again.
We were lamentably offered a uniquely unsuited buffoon whose job history isn’t impressive upon the slightest close examination. I forgot which candidate I mean. I’ll also stop litigating the election when the president does, as I believe our leader should set an example.
Like the new Tinder friend who took your bank card after she asked you to babysit, you may scroll through screenshots just to remind yourself what the pain was like. America’s doing the same. The 2016 election is why humans were created to be capable of guilt. We may as well learn from colossal screw-ups unless we want to prove science fiction shows correct about how idiotic people of our time are. I don’t know about you, but being lectured by Doctor Who’s producers is not my idea of escape.
But go ahead and pretend only the QVC spokesman could’ve beaten a Clinton who was phony even by family standards. Playing pretend allows followers with plenty of practice the ability to maintain the delusion that bitching at whoever insults the president is effective. Never mind if it gets anything good done. Attempting to project strength without values leaves us with neither. It turns out our enemies can spot posturing, as they possess the sort of amoral calculation the president creepily admires.
We can dream about a president who might not have squeaked by the universe’s worst candidate. The mystery human would’ve had Obamacare and tax proposals ready to go instead of merely deciding last year that whatever’s in place is crummy. Voters would’ve been more impressed, too, presuming primary voters hadn’t split their votes against the jerk reality show-style. It’s my fantasy, so it can’t be wrong. Besides, it beats the ones unrepentant Trump voters are having. At least I can tell mine aren’t really happening.