What is truth? I’ll conduct a poll. My followers will know. Pontius Pilate would’ve loved Twitter, as it’s a chance to outsource morality while pretending to not know right from wrong. I don’t know how many tweets it’d take to share the Bible, but I’m sure the Kardhasians pass along just as much moral wisdom.
Those most opposed to objectivity are naturally in the worst job for it. Embarrassing Donald Trump should be as easy as noting how interesting his hair is. But journalists can’t even manage to convince their audience that the guy with the giant shoes is a clown. They are good at self-humiliation. There’s no reason to pay a dominatrix.
This particular president is so easy to mock that even Saturday Night Live can do it. Getting under his skin should take even less effort than the typical communications major usually invests. But it also requires being levelheaded, and that’s tough when they’re more important than the ordinary people they cover doing things.
Our guardians of truth are not quite engineering majors. The typical media stenographer thinks he’s much more important than dummies who make sure bridges don’t collapse. Compensate with self-righteousness as is the contemporary style. A reporter will do so by pretending to understand infrastructure despite never having touched a math textbook even when it was needed it to pass. Who needs to learn addition to cover stories about the economy?
Hindering the Trump presidency is as easy as noting his random tweet capitalizations. All journalists would need is to be calm. So, forget it. The frenzy to smear a slob leads to sloppiness.
As typical liberals, journalists think sanctimony tops thinking clearly. There’s no need to check results when you know you’re right. Cultish delusion leads to them being as rabid as the mean dog they claim they’re containing. It’s sort-of their only job to get it right, as if it could get any worse than their claim that two plus two equals potato.
Life is meaningless and there are no rules. Do you feel better? There’s nothing worthwhile in this desolate universe, so embrace the vacuum. It should be fun to make up things, yet nobody seems to be enjoying themselves. Being bad isn’t even fun when it’s normal. Behave and follow the rules to be a true rebel. Go on social media and say something pleasant to a person you admire to really blow minds.
It’s hard to maintain standards when our lord and savior Oprah is speaking of “Your truth.” Do you trust the person in front of you at the Target self-checkout to define reality? Everyone decides individually what they know is right, which explains why we get along so well. Proclaiming that gender is a decision and poverty is inescapable means compassion are the price of ignoring results. Other than that, it’s all upside.
Our eternal fates are now being determined by shockingly openminded souls who have decided objective truth doesn’t exist. Same truth doesn’t care whether or not people accept it. The indifference shocks those who thrive on believing their opinions alter the universe.
Spot those with the most malleable takes by how they have the most rigid outlooks. Those who note how they’re quite tolerant don’t permit dissent from their opinions. See, everyone who disagrees is bigoted, which is almost a neat trick. Hating dissenters is the only thing they believe cannot be denied. It must feel confusing to condemn icky notions such as right and wrong while claiming you must believe only the government can help sick kids.
Progressive reactionary journalism is what happens when you decide your role is to take down someone you dislike more than you like reporting facts. The latter just seems dull. If you want excitement, go into archaeology like Indiana Jones. If that sounds like too much schooling, there are also many exciting opportunities in the fast food register jockey business, at least for the next couple months until touch screens help customers while punishing minimum wage increases.
Lawyers thank journalists for improving their reputation by comparison. At least the former succeeds at predation. CNN stooges only look like awkward dorks as they bungle the simplest details. If they claimed it stands for Cable News Network, I wouldn’t believe it.
Nobody else knows how to drive, claims the dispatch on location from the ditch. That’s normal in the era of helping the other side through criminally stupid unforced errors. The media excels at explaining how great they are. They’re not going to actually provide examples, as that’s not their job. What are they going to do: confirm assertions? Journalists will explain how to walk as soon as they get their shoes tied. Jim Acosta will need an intern.