Mock Correctly

Actual criticism of the Trump presidency should be as easy as pointing out there’s something odd about his hair. Only liberals could blow it.  That’s one way to show how much they still admire Hillary.

An oafish con man whose guiding principle is his own awesomeness despite evidence got all the way to the top, and those waging pretend war against him waste their capital on the silliest of conspiracies.  Nobody involved is a good entrepreneur, and it shows. They’re mustering the Obamacare of criticisms as he doesn’t really repeal it.

Would you believe anti-Trump protesters are stressed out?  I’m starting to wonder if they’re a bit overwrought.  By their own predictions, they should be in internment camps by now, and I doubt they’d have enough wifi there to bitch as much as they do on social media.

A silenced populace shouldn’t be able to moan this much.  At least the First Amendment is proven safe.  Still, the tension caused by perpetually flexed muscles might manifest itself in hateful lunacy. The science is settling.

This term has featured countless offenses against decency and sense.  The president has done lots of silly things, too.  Like a defense lawyer wearing rainbow suspenders, nothing they do is taken seriously.  Why not count to 10 before posting a thoughtful Facebook manifesto on why Trump’s junta means he should be arrested by Secret Service agents?

You can love your grandma and ice cream at different levels.  Perhaps attempt to mock this predictably oafish golden White House without calling for impeachment proceedings to begin in the next five minutes.

Going to DEFCON 1 every day is exhausting to silo manners, especially considering they don’t believe in military spending.  Citizens eventually tune out the sirens.  The silence will be deafening when the power’s cut, especially if there was never the armageddon which was supposed to come every weekday.

The purportedly openminded should expand their horizons.  Consider their stereotype of a heartless businessman.  Like most things Democrats believe, it’s untrue.  This favor-buying showman posed his way into media appearances by slapping his name on the gaudiest of tacky buildings, which is to say the opposite of generating value.  He should’ve been busy reviewing contracts.  But that would make him an actual capitalist.

Trump’s self-appointed progressive enemies should loathe actual businessmen for a change.  The targets are hard to spot on account of being too busy creating goods and services to run for president on an ego-driven whim.  Perhaps they should even attempt to copy the example of making customers happy, as manufacturing resentment doesn’t seem too profitable unless one can get on MSNBC.  But they don’t seemed programmed for optimism despite all the bullplop Barack Obama fed them.

Those who have the most right to be offended are conservatives.  Naturally, they’re the quietest.  Try to spot them by how they sigh upon noting their fates.  By contrast, marching with poster board featuring a cuss word is the primary way of signaling virtue.  You’d think the public rage would be reversed considering whose views are linked to a lurching brute whose own doctrine is a bit more lax.  The fact those who remembered the Constitution is real aren’t smashing Starbucks demonstrates self-control is more than something they merely profess.

As for our liberal friends who seem to want aneurysms, they struggle to argue with their indoor voices.  It goes beyond struggling with losing to this trashy bordello supervisor.  More glaringly, they still refuse to admit he’s human even if reasonable doubts are understandable.  Sure, he might not embody the best of our species as he airs out personal beefs in poorly-constructed beefs in lieu of serving with dignity as head of state.  But I’m afraid he’s still one of us.

Such melodrama is natural from those who presume that not only can there be no reasonable dissent but also that every issue determines the universe’s fate.  As a reminder, they think their side has all the funny people.

By shrieking until our ears bleed, they show how pain is communal.  The eternal wail is not exactly creating allies.  Adult tantrums actually alienate those of us who think he neither has the experience nor demeanor to run a 7-Eleven cash register, much less be the most powerful man on Earth. I shuddered there.

A semi-celebrity putz may not have been the best choice to serve as head of state for the universe’s best nation.  But that doesn’t make a china-smashing buffoon evil.  It’s easier to go with Voldemort Hitler than make reasoned criticisms.  Maybe they fear realizing how often they agree with him if they really thought it out.

Set aside the mutual fondness for curing illnesses with the healing power of executive authority.  Liberals will never stop fuming at a president whose policies they’d like if they didn’t know his name.  They cope by making reckless assumptions in rants too emotional to feature proper grammar.

Trump’s liberal enemies are as over-the-top as he is.  Nobody seems into finding common ground even if they’re standing on each other’s toes.