Month: May 2019

Voting While Hating

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Defending everything a politician does is as psychotic as thinking government can solve our problems, which makes it a popular hobby these enlightened days. Coercion is the key to delivering health care, housing, and a cushy retirement, according to boastful lunatics. If their ideas are this swell, they must be delightful humans. Those who suspect elections are between two toadying minions of Satan don’t vote happily, as that’d imply happiness with the process.

A true liberty fan don’t have a side, or at least not any affiliation other than with Andrew W.K.’s Party Party. Someone sick of being bothered with silly restrictions might vote for Republicans because they profess a slightly smaller desire to manage individuals’ calendars, although there’s scant evidence in practice. Either way, vote reluctantly so it’s not taken for granted. The best part about not being loyal to either of two hideous factions stocked with pompously inept wannabe tyrants is that you don’t have to defend anyone screwing up your life for your benefit.

Politicians are at fault for being their awful selves. Voters can avoid blame for the gross results by ensuring they’re unenthusiastic. Scuzzy conduct is connected to office-fillers like insults are to Don Rickles. Only a hockey puck would take representative government that literally. The easiest way to avoid being forced to defend the conduct of politicians is to hate those you support. Express contempt for those you grudgingly supported as marginally less repulsive trash piles.

Thinking someone who wants to reign over you is especially appalling with today’s particularly dim saviors. There’s never been more of a least worse option in nearly every election. Someone who feels obligated to get a politician’s back may as well defend Saved by the Bell as golden television. I hated those awful fake students when I was their age and I hate them now. A partisan can defend what a party is doing, although I’m baffled and saddened that anyone would. Standing with representatives as they lie and fail personally is a betrayal of fellow humans to the traitors amongst us.

How can you condemn ickiness when your side’s person was a scumbag, too? Whataboutism is America’s most popular hobby, as excusing bad behavior by noting other factions engage in it as well is the easiest way to avoid having to meet high standards. Some make a career out of pointing to distract from what their pals are stealing. Noting the other side is stockpiled with satanic lying gropers has kept Sean Hannity in the air in between interviews with his dreamboat.

If you need to look up to someone, find someone who can chase a ball and buy his jersey. At least a point guard or cornerback won’t tell you how to live. Hero worship is unseemly no matter the field. But the phenomenon of bowing to someone should be contained to a stadium or cinema. Unlike politicians, some actors are proficient at fooling.

Sticking up for those who stick us up on Tax Day is galling. Remember that even prominent people have to brush their teeth and get cranky if they wait too long for lunch. Flaws are especially notable for those dooming the rest to financial ruin for the privilege of having to buy crummy insurance.

Some adulate politicians, of all people. It’s natural to be ashamed of everyone involved. There’s nothing more important in a healthy republic than avoiding thinking any of them deserve you putting your integrity on the line. Admiring those who sucked up to enough voters with promises to take from the rest is as awful as thinking such plundering helped. Defend the concepts you feel are important and you’ll never be disappointed by a publicly-paid dastard out to control you.

Life is far more relaxing when you don’t feel compelled to stand up for the spineless. You don’t work for them, and in fact the reverse is true. The reflex to condemn politicians is especially natural for contemporary versions. They’re the worst humans for the job think they can do the best. Every single one possesses a tendency to think Washington can fix anything, which is like proclaiming Nutella by the spoonful can cure your hibernation weight. If you haven’t started noticing patterns yet, the next-best time is now.

A strange thing happens when you stop excusing egregious personal failings, namely the realization that the wholly flawed beings filling offices are too inept to save us with their facile plans. Elected officials are frightened that those who put them there might notice doltish arrogance can’t solve society’s issues. You mean scumbags might not keep their word? The only thing more flawed than their personalities is their belief they can fix our lives.

Keep your alleged help. We’re not even really that broken, especially by comparison. Try not to retch while picturing how Donald freaking Trump treats women as he tries to limit your ability to buy avocados easily since he’s too obtuse to understand what a trade deficit is. Presume anyone who demands your vote wants your wallet and daughter’s dress on the floor. Skepticism based in anger that these stupid jerks want to take all of what’s yours is the only thing that’ll bring down debt.

Generate Generations

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

I hate generational talk as much as I do Millennials. That’s just what someone from Generation X would say. Billy Idol’s best work should inspire those of any age over that soulless pabulum our grandparents found swell.

Don’t expect anyone from the same age to be inspired by the same groups. Acting as if we all share the same interests because we watched identical cartoons isn’t any less wise than most political groupings, although that’s not a compliment. A fondness for Voltron’s approach to problem-solving may be the end of our common ground. Avoiding generalizations should be a common goal. People your age are always so difficult about it.

Fact-check individual boasts. Take those of a certain age claiming they won World War II without asking what they were doing in the ’40s. “Greatest Generation” is the worst description, as an overlap of certain people getting stuff done doesn’t make geezers better by definition. Don’t let Tom Brokaw define groups of humans, as he’s an empty biased dolt no matter what era he was born in.

If this is a lecture about how old people worked harder, I’m going to grab my headphones. Isn’t technology the worst for removing manual labor and frightening injuries that ruefully made you miss being whole? Those who survived the old days demand we wash clothing by hand to learn gumption. Curse this free time wasted by watching any show you want at your convenience.

Older is always better, so enjoy your flip phone. Nostalgia may occasionally have a point, as in noting Republicans have gone from Ronald Reagan to Donald freaking Trump. But progress remains ceaseless despite government’s efforts to ruin it. Increased federal meddling at every occasion can’t change how many things outside our stupid capital have improved. Continue reading this on a glowing pocket screen that would’ve astounded any king who’s ever lived.

Life may make certain people dumber. Getting through trauma doesn’t always lead to learning anything valuable. Some crabby humans only get bitter, which isn’t the best lesson.

Ideas trump experience. There are many truly dim old people who never bothered to gain the wisdom available to learn with extra years. Treating hoary crank Bernie Sanders as a fountain of wisdom is just going to make people born after the invention of fire as ignorant as he is about how money happens. Conversely, youngsters who are wise about how government wastes their future defy trends. Anyone invested in believing the same entity that brings us the post office will save insurance and the Earth may stay idiots no matter how many birthdays they have.

Generalization-making suckers are the only ones who deserve to be hated as a group. I don’t hate Boomers, at least not that much. I do hate Boomers, as in particular ones. Actually, I wouldn’t be able to count them, much less name each whining mopey erstwhile hippie.

Sure, individual members of the age group have spent decades being particularly self-indulgent. The percentage may even be disturbingly high. But condemning everyone for tendencies only exacerbates the influence of pompous twits. Assigning broad characteristics to the group is precisely what slackers want. Moochers are present in every generation.

As a sign of tolerance, I’m even willing to not condemn Millennials, at least not every single one. Sure, I’ll cuss at every pretentious bastard clogging Williamsburg with a skateboard and wool hat no matter the weather. But not all whippersnappers waste hours chewing on detergent pods while stroking preposterous beards.

I will damn those who blame previous generations for ruining everything. There are probably seven or 13 individuals of that youthful vintage who defy stereotypes. The few smartypants in the group know the agonies of the majority are caused by the very liberal policies they favor. Particularly educated fools bitch about preposterous student loans if you think the solution is more subsidies.

Taking credit for what people born around the same years did is one way to feel better about a paucity of personal accomplishments. Collectivizing generations brings down everyone by linking everyone in the hive to new heights reached by a few overachievers. Don’t let them make you feel bad by comparison: attach yourself like a parasite.

People who use the word “We” when discussing success generated by others born seven or eight years before or after are certainly well-rounded. They tend to be the same ones who use first-person plural when referring to sports teams they watch. Congratulations for your fine play on the couch during the Super Bowl.

Treating humans as individuals is too complicated. Just presume age ranges define us for simplicity’s sake. Please don’t measure the particular efforts devoted to this semester’s group project. Just slap my name on the poster board. It’s much easier to presume those who grew up during the same decade have the same feats. Bragging about what your pals in the same class did might not actually build self-esteem.

Causing Solving

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Gin doesn’t seem to cure drunkenness, but maybe we just haven’t tried enough martinis. The solution shouldn’t be the cause unless you work for the government, in which case you’re either dumb enough to think programs work or smart enough to realize inefficiency’s your meal ticket. Neither carries the benefit of societal usefulness. But pretending to try makes those half-assing it feel better, and intentions are now cherished more than results. Your heart is in the right place even if the money’s not.

Federal action is guaranteed to make it worse. It doesn’t matter which action. There’s comfort in knowing something remains constant. But the fact the horrid option remains popular is a reflection on public schools that supposedly are just one more property tax hike from churning out geniuses. Using Washington’s sledgehammer to fix chipped vases creates more problems to solve, which is one way of helping others. Not interfering is far more helpful but creates less sense of accomplishment.

Our government’s whole purpose lies in fighting the rotten evil that is having to pay for things. Check the Constitution. No, not that one. Fans of vigorous intervention enjoy moaning that life is mean, what with its constant challenges and bills for services used. Sure, nobody likes to pay for stuff. But wait until it’s free to see how much it truly costs.

Mean conglomerates act like they don’t exist to pay enough to support a family at the starting wage. I’m sure I had that page earmarked in the life manual. The mystery of who said you were supposed to be able to live comfortably because someone offered work wouldn’t even be solved by the Hardy Boys. Trainees just don’t generate that much, but that shouldn’t affect how companies are supposed to make financial dreams come true for staffers they should be obligated to keep on the payroll. What’s a profit?

Compensation is an issue between the employer and worker, or at least used to be back in primitive times when both sides were free to negotiate. Trade for value provided was good practice for making customers happy. Ironically, the goal of legally inflating wages enough to afford Invisalign for each of an employee’s brats actually makes it harder to find work. But earning a raise is tricky, what with performance standards. A high minimum wage is totally not insulting to your ability to advance.

Make cashiering more pricey than what enters the drawer and act surprised when a robot claw is hired to replace service workers. The indifferent cyborg will never be rude to customers until the machines become self-aware, and we’re all screwed then, anyway. Touch screens volunteering for service can’t replace a human touch, although they can receive them.

Some super commercial genius decided that 15 dollars per hour was an appropriate arbitrary demand, perhaps a fan of robots. Making it more challenging to ever find that initial job would be a shrewd move by any technology fan. It’s such a relief to not get paid below what liberals have determined is a living wage. The only drawback is never getting hired in the first place.

There’s good news if those claiming to help wanted to make everything more costly. Higher prices for crucial goods will make everyone rich. I see no potential catch. Education, insurance, and housing are some of the products that have seen huge profits for sellers who presumably couldn’t be more grateful.

It’s uncanny how prices spike well above inflation every time government makes something affordable. Can anyone investigate coincidences? Subsidy pimps make every effort to lower prices but allowing competition. It never occurred to them that there’s another way than involuntarily-funded direct cash payments. They’re inflating demand by lowering costs in a way more artificial than Kardashian fortunes.

The great thing about taxing amalgamations is they never pass costs to consumers. Pretending it doesn’t cost anyone anything because they’re isn’t direct billing is sure to keep costs low. Sure, there are preposterous levies, but nothing’s itemized. Soak the rich, who are defined as anyone who makes more than you.

That’s too much. There should be a law. Those interested in rational approaches have decided that some things simply should be cheaper. Why can’t politicians put aside partisanship and solve all the problems? The only thing worse than thinking a solution must work is failing to notice it dumps napalm on the blaze.

People forget how often pricey items uncannily receive federal subsidies if they ever noticed in the first place. Countering supply and demand is guaranteed to reduce the former while the latter skyrockets. At least something is increasing. Good luck fighting math, as the percentages say it’s bound to be a losing battle.

Those who don’t want politicians decreeing goods should be cheaper just like paying more. In the same way, the evil fools favor gun rights because they enjoy profiting off murdered children. Cruel Republicans just like protecting greedy businesses because thriving on evil brings them joy. It can’t be that the best deals result from open negotiation.

Looking for solutions to things that aren’t problems causes them in the first place. Life is so zen. Bad answers give those issuing them plenty of imperiled citizens to assist, and government is all about saving the less fortunate. Having to work one’s way up and pay market prices are cruelties too diabolical to fathom, according to those whose policies kill jobs. Making life costly is an unfortunate side effect of making everything cheap.

Thinking Differently of Different Thinkers

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

How could anyone disagree with anything anyone else thinks? Let’s try to be amicable here. I suppose dissent is possible in certain specific cases, such as when the other party has no clue. Much of today’s enlightened debate features one side not understanding the purpose of what the other supports, which is as enlightened as it is knowledgable. The inability to comprehend why someone might approach life differently is so unlike everything else government fans believe.

Enemies should at least should want to know why those manning the other line are stupid jerks. But intellectual curiosity could impede rage, which offends intense purists. A fair case doesn’t dissuade liberals from contempt for anyone who’s noticed insurance hasn’t quite gotten cheaper since we’ve been forced to have it. Federal incompetence is surely the exception. I blame corporate greed, anyway.

Do the Electoral College’s sworn enemies grasp why it exists? The monstrous scheme’s only function is clearly to suppress the will of the people so we can still have slavery, according to deep thinkers like Jemele Hill. Or maybe there’s a reason that doesn’t involve owning people. If you think in-between states get ignored already, wait until national campaigns realize they can run up tallies by focusing on New York City and Los Angeles. Please let miserable humans in urban hellholes deciding what life is going to be like for the rest of us. Coping with endless freeway traffic or subway rats leads to calmly rational voting.

Reasonable people can disagree. That’s if you can find any. It’s fine to favor making the presidential race a popularity contest. But at least be aware the system is designed to make every state count. Also, maybe learn we have a republic before lamenting democracy’s murder.

It’s good the Armed Forces aren’t designed to protect us, as tinkering with it in the name of feelings of potential recruits could cause peril. Military social engineering seeks to make those brave enough to defend the rest of us subject to the same lunacy enabled by their selflessness. We wouldn’t be free to argue silly things without them.

Look who suddenly is cool with enlistment. The usual contemptuous snots loathe the bloodthirsty defenders of American imperialism and what it represents right up until a man who’s decided he belongs amongst women wants in. Coddling those who are confused about what their genitals signify won’t help win wars, which you may have heard is the service’s purpose. Joining is not about providing money for college despite what ads may claim. Unit cohesion is crucial for mission success. Trying to avoid foxhole love makes it tricker.

Some kind souls believe so much in helping that they have to force it. Giving voluntarily means it’s possible to decline, which worries those who think there’s not a shred of decency in their fellow men. And it’s not like rich bastards employ people and invest with what they have, which is too bad because that sounds like it’d create work.

Charity must be compulsory according to decent humans who are obsessed with questioning the compassion of others. Selfish types not less taken by a dumb government means fewer poor souls to assist, which is just what an enemy of caring would believe.

Disagreeing is fine. Just kidding, dumb jerk. You’re a genius and anyone who comes to different conclusions is obviously a rotten fiend opposed to individual pronoun preference. Refusing to heed the “she/her” in a Twitter bio is a Hague-worthy crime against humanity. There was once a tendency to think the other side being misguided wasn’t malicious. Isn’t that quaint?

Instead, modern political philosophers seek intensity, like rationally thinking political opponents want Mexican kids to die at the border and American ones to croak waiting for health care. There could be no other reason for disagreeing with liberals who have always been proven correct.

Such consistency in exclusion of disagreement applies to the perception of divergent views, like how they think conservatives want to throw gays into camps for believing marriage still has not changed despite what’s presently called such. You and your damn Chick-fil-A are causing tremendous agony with your support of Christianity’s basic doctrines accompanying tempting deliciousness.
Ever-tolerant liberals aren’t bothering to learn what others believe. They excuse snotty parochialism by presuming everyone who disagrees is a hateful Hitler Nazi, which is the worst kind. Only an honorary SS officer thinks people might be able to care for themselves.

Coercion hasn’t helped the economy or our liberty. I just wish there could be another way to live like not bothering people while donating to help anyone in need. Those who can’t conceive of logical alternatives are also unable to comprehend any sort of life without constant micromanagement. Such broadmindedness requires dragging down everyone else, which at last leads to equality.

Know-Nothing Nerds

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Did you ever cry about who won or lost an election? Or felt sad that an American president wasn’t a Russian agent? How about believing what any federal agency has projected ever?

Caring about dumb politicians and their stupider ideas this much is a sign they’re running your life even more than normal. And why wouldn’t you spend every free moment documenting the wisest entity in town on social media? This government thing will never take off unless we support it.

Caring about nothing but politics is typical of astute charmers who think the entity that can’t deliver postcards is the most compassionate entity to administer health care. After all, those serving in it are wise enough to recognize its greatness and goodness. Use benevolence to punish those who dissent. Autonomy is killing a country founded on natural rights.

Proficient administration is as feasible as it is cool, according to people who need to see what life is like outside Brooklyn. Barack Obama merely epitomized the desire to bring us all together by choice. Also, “choice” now means “force” because you’re free to do anything that’s been approved by voters and the FDA.

Pretending to be coolly rational isn’t fooling anyone any more than federal spending stimulates the economy. You’d also be a histrionic lunatic if you didn’t know how to cope with the chasm between what’s believed and results here in this cruel world.

You have to be fervent if you want to save everything. Political fans think the Earth is going to die while all the people on it are doomed to the same fate if we don’t ape Pyongyang’s progressive embrace of expert guidance and electricity rationing. We need thought leaders guiding us to utopia, so look to anyone who got slightly more votes.

Intervention’s most zealous fans make the best case against it. Lousy bartender Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez embodies the fetishization of collective coerced action, as someone who has already cost her district jobs isn’t going to let some trivial concerns in reality halt her job-killing for justice. Please keep her as the spokesperson for everyone who loves government deciding for you. Life’s easiest when you get to reply to the dimmest.

Washington worshippers must respect its elders. Treating hoary kooks like lovable grandparents is a byproduct of thinking we’d starve without intervention. The cranky geezers who want to run your lives sure are charming.

Bernie Sanders is nothing more than an unpleasant crank who’s made his aversion to work a calling. Maxine Waters sure is clueless for someone so nasty. And be sure to see Ruth Bader Ginsburg as adorable and not a soulless racist eugenicist shilling for every federal power expansion. Such elder nasty statists have become the heroes of whippersnappers who are confused by what wisdom entails. Aren’t old people who want to control all people the cutest?

There’s no age limit for misplaced adulation. Making heroes out of putzing slugs who get paid from our involuntary contributions inevitably creates unintended consequences, which makes it just like everything else liberals believe. I believe we’ve settled on Robert Mueller being a corrupted administration shill instead of a selfless hero serving the greater good.

Bores should know more. Government fans follow every detail of dull corruption stories like they’re instructions on how to disarm a bomb strapped to your torso. They then press the trigger. Progressives get everything correct but the facts. You’d think people who love every federal action would notice what putzes are in charge.

Focusing on little things leads to myopia. Their ability to strangle facts wouldn’t be so bad were they something other than completely smug while lecturing people who work for a living how life works.

The only thing more exhausting than trillions of debt to buy nothing is people who call themselves nerds yet can do nothing useful. A true nerd can build your pocket computer. By contrast, Rachel Maddow’s dull faux nerdy fans need help buttoning their shirts as they explain why you’re dressing all wrong. Self-proclaimed honor students study German all night before a calculus exam. They still even can’t conjugate regular verbs.

It’s uncanny how often people who spend every moment on politics are wrong about everything. Memorizing fake details from nonsensical projections is today’s version of expertise.

Acting like encyclopedic guardians of absolute truth is part of their shtick, which would be funnier if their insipid takes didn’t cost us fortunes and freedoms. Trust the economy to poor learners who memorize statistics from East German textbooks. Proclaim the people’s economic projections and scowl when said people say they’re broke.

The numbers arrogant dolts recite will totally come into being once successful people are punished enough. The rebellious retention of cash is why Kamala Harris’s favorite policies have failed miserably so far. Believing government should be as intimately involved in our lives as Twitter is at banning conservatives leads to cutting out other interests.

Instead of collecting stamps or dominating the chess dojo, those who follow congressional testimony as a hobby are as interesting as you’d think. For people who obsess over every federal move, they sure don’t know jack about the results.

Let’s Review

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Why pay for what you use when you can bill everyone? It’s not parasitical when the government can invent all the money it wants. Still, there seems to be a catch. Those familiar with mathematics apparently have to establish why unlimited free things may not be as enticing as hoped. The only ones who believe in paying their share aren’t fast enough.

Sure, it’s exhausting having to work then explain why the compensation shouldn’t be seized. But at least making the case for basic liberty is worthwhile if it offers a chance to review why this is worth believing. Explain goodness as a way of feeling grateful. Your answer can even be in prose.

Get a raise if you’d like to buy more things. A bit more per hour is like receiving handouts with the satisfaction of self-reliance. Also, money doesn’t magically appear, so there are fewer fears of it running out. You are not doomed to make the income you are during trainee time. In fact, I think you’re very talented and it’s just a matter of time before your manager rewards your sunny disposition.

Useless people find it difficult to grasp how anyone could create enough value to earn more. Doesn’t the government have to enforce wage hikes? Effort sounds sweaty. Presuming you’re stuck in a mental slum is also why progressive taxes suck as the foremost progressive policy. Guess who thinks you can’t advance?

More cash per hour follows from getting hired in the first place. The belief that humans are capable of purchasing their own homes, insurance, and education is radical in these times of alleged guarantees. Someone paying you for tasks really cuts into free time. But it beats having to shut up and beg for meager dollops confiscated from toiling suckers.

Life is easier if that rich fiend who owns the factory where you spend a quarter of your life isn’t taxed into oblivion. A company can attract employees with good wages, but only if there are options.

You can tell the case for socialism is lame by how those who make it can’t come up with better lies despite doing nothing else all day. The purported shady benefits are repeated constantly by people who coincidentally have nothing else to do. Sure, the story is being told by preening dolts who don’t know that every bogus claim of helping humanity by sharing has been belied by countless miserable experiments.

Ardent collectivism fans leave out the part about warping human nature and a trail of devastation that defined much of the 20thcentury. Not learning history is the least fun part of the present.

It may feel shockingly dismaying to have to explain why taking autonomy in the name of a dumb and evil state is a poor decision. Doing so feels as redundant condemning pushing strollers into traffic or The Walking Dead. But at least it’s a chance to remember why we believe the basics even if they seem obvious.

Calling out praise for a thuggishly moronic ruling apparatus means demonstrating basic logic, which makes it particularly uncommon. There are ample opportunities to explain why everything they enjoy was enabled by everything they loathe. You’d think people not counted upon to contribute would be able to generate more creative excuses. Thank particularly dim members of Congress for the chance to confirm the direction of Berlin Wall-hoppers.

The top benefit of a slavish statist media is having to explain the fundamentals of human liberty. Providing remedial lessons to sanctimonious dolts dumb enough to major in journalism who believe leftism is objective truth may prompt eye-rolling severe enough to cause whiplash. But an antagonistic media provides a chance to counter their silly biases.

The only thing worse than not sticking to objectivity is abandoning it for such crummy ideas. By contrast, preposterous assumptions during cushy coverage of fellow statists leaves the subject too soft to defend against scrutiny. You don’t have to thank the media for the favor of deliberate ineptness.

Thankfully, we’re blessed with a totally articulate president who understands natural rights and the value of mutual voluntary exchange. Also, he’s really polite. Enough Republicans wanted someone they claim is an instinctual maestro, and I hope everyone’s enjoying a dream come true. You may have noticed how often said instincts lead to him praising himself, cussing out anyone who dares criticize him, and expanding federal power. None of his tendencies seem particularly conservative. But at least Donald Trump is obsessed with taking down John McCain’s ghost.

I guess it’s up to us. It’s good to not rely on the president. Fans of natural rights are ultimately explaining why life is tiresome. But we don’t set the rules. Those who think they can dictate the course of existence make college more expensive every time they subsidize tuition.

There’s a nasty balloon payment for attempting to circumvent pricing. Everyone wants to leave the store without visiting the registers. Free stuff will always sound appealing. A plan to burn energy by eating ice cream does, too. Mean conservatives notice there are repercussions and weight gain.

Keep Going Crazy

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

You’re still allowed to name your children and drink a small decadent soda pop without a straw, so please stop bitching about rights taken away. The refusal to cede the rest of autonomy is causing your pain, contrarian fool. Power enthusiasts claim they only want a little control over everyone’s lives. But that’s in comparison to how much bossing they did yesterday. Ordering your dinner will soon transition to limiting your salt ration.

Where does liberalism stop? The answer is it doesn’t. I  wish the answer was a few decades ago, but that would mean we’d no longer bend the arc toward justice by demonizing anyone who thinks men can’t declare themselves to be women. The progression from relatively mild central control to lunacy is predictable, but only if you’re also capable of noticing howfederal spending causes the problems it’s supposed to remedy.

It’s unsurprising that those who think they know what you should do are unwilling to stop invading. Those who know what’s best for you and enforce it quasi-legally are like bank robbers who can’t quit. The difference is felons are honest about taking from others.

You thought that making you get bad insurance would be the end of meddling with your health? That’s sick. Obamacare was a bridge, so please stop pretending it was continually pitched as a destination. Yes, making everyone buy from the worst possible retailer cured us of everything. But that famously moderate imposition into our well-being was just a good start.

You’ll love getting healed at VA hospitals for everyone. Blaming insurance companies for greedy failure is a sick trick worlds more clever than anything in the bill. I’m looking forward to them deciding single-payer is too modest. Force people to go to the hospital to stimulate the economy. Don’t you want nurses to have jobs?

Making enemies out of babies may seem cruel, but it beats having to fight adults. Claiming Democrats favored fourth-trimester abortions used to be an exaggeration. But the science defiance is now normal. The math adds up as well as the budget.

Why just show the unborn who’s boss when the recently-born are in the same category? We’ve been assured that killing survivors of the procedure to remove the inconvenient embodies compassion in case your conscience is nagging you. Moloch will speak at the 2020 Democratic National Convention presuming he’s not deemed too reactionary.

A country dedicated to liberty just doesn’t punish success enough. We require ample confiscation so pompous dolts can spend on things that benefit everyone, as long as everyone refers to politicians and benefit means buying votes. But we have to help the poor. That used to occur through paychecks, but making people work to not starve is the apex of cruelty. What’s a charity?

Except for everything, nothing needs to be fixed. Entirely moderate Democratic presidential candidates have called for slavery reparations to make up for suffering from 150 years ago, Supreme Court packing with more turnover to treat it as another legislature, a direct presidential vote so a few coastal cities can really control this country, and a lower voting age so our future can be placed in the hands of puberty-coping dolts with learner’s permits. After they melt down the system, they can impose jealousy. Put a putzing government in charge of the economy and our decisions so life can at last be fair.

No, those irked by the Constitution’s pesky limits don’t hate America: they just think it’s important to change everything about it. This is an evil, oppressive hellhole they’re determined to never leave. Progressive superheroes could leave to go to a nation with mandatory child care and amazing mandatory insurance. But they’ve kindly decided to say to save all us gun-toting unenlightened troglodytes. Citizens are so uncouth that they don’t even thank those who know better on their behalf.

Luckily for the unenlightened, improvement projects are endless. Instead of, say, providing customers with products they like, our left-tilting superiors will keep finding aspects that need fixing. Cynics would claim they’re just compensating for what they broke. But they need to repair things to feel useful, which is why they create poverty while claiming to battle it. I hope that’s the reason and not that they think they’re actually helping.

Conservatives ruined liberalism, according to the latter. Silly compromise and worry about puny individuals with their petty rights prevents utter bliss. Consensus meant we just didn’t go far enough, which is why today’s planners are so ardent about utter dedication. Big government only works if it goes all the way.

You have to be radical if you want life perfected. You’d think there’d be evidence of progress with small steps, but revoking personal freedom keeps failing because insolent humans muster resistance. Those without zealous dedication won’t see progress during intermediate steps. You must maintain faith and keep pushing. Who said they’re against religion?

Trumped on Schedule

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Lava’s not going to be easier to drink this time. I know it looks like cherry, but even ice won’t cool it down enough. The worst part of present scorching is how it feels scripted. Sure, life feels like a living parody, but at least it’s easy to guess what sick twists will occur in the next chapter. Worst of all, Donald Trump is predictable. The random bouts of insults and policy changes seem capricious. If nothing else, everyone knows they’re coming.

Anyone paying attention is not at all shocked by a crabby president’s losing bouts with articulation as he boasts of things he’ll do tomorrow. All it took to know exactly how this would unfold was spending 10 minutes checking the gap between his words and deeds, which was too long for suckers who still think he’s a selfless business titan.

I can’t believe a guy who thinks bonking porn stars makes him an admirable stud muffin could be slimy. At least his plastic fetish is not as gross as his belief that other businesses must be destroyed for him to succeed. The corporate raider mentality is particularly sad considering his commercial legacy of empty Trump Vodka bottles and the vague memory of his name on airplanes.

Damaging dignity counts as an accomplishment if you’re sick of having to live up to standards. Flaunting an affinity for disregarding marital vows was not cool when Bill Clinton did it, either. Trump was lucky enough to run against the woman who’s technically the previous lout’s spouse, which led to a Republican dragging slime through the Oval Office, as well.

Our occasionally rude executive is often liberal, which is surprising to those social justice enthusiasts who think he’s elbowed Hitler out of worst person ever status. If nothing else, enjoying the war between groups who often agree about abusing federal power amuses those forced to watch. Please don’t accuse him of having no principles when he’s clearly dedicated to being in charge. Trump is constantly turning to power that he just happens to be able to access. Debt is never going to drop, is it?

I can’t believe the guy who never thought of politics as anything more than an ego massage lets spending continue unchecked. We’re stuck with it short of nominating a calm conservative who not only believes in strangling government but has developed a plan for getting hands around its neck.

But at least we didn’t get the entitled president who’s wasting our money! Trump defenders act like he saved us from the zombie plague by being the other option, but we would have gotten through it and actually been in good position for an alternative.

Enduring a Hillary term wouldn’t have been fun in the same sense the Fyre Festival failed to deliver on concert fun. But the incentive to then run competent adults would’ve never been stronger. Noting the president is a mortifying oaf is not an endorsement of Mrs. Clinton as is presumed in this binary world of subtle thinking.

A bout with presidential boorishness is what you get for buying Ann freaking Coulter’s books. Forming a cult is the first sign members weren’t following someone conservative. If you expect a politician to be your savior, you’ve already lost. Such truth especially applies to this particular politician, who’s hoped his bellowing would distract from decades of failure.

There’s no shock at how the present has unfolded from anyone who endured our ever-modest leader boasting. Take him lauding his USFL success as he ruined the football competitor. He created the first safe sports bet. A marginally-engaged news fan could’ve predicted how a Trump presidency would’ve unfolded with unerring accuracy during Reagan’s first term. Successful soothsayers are merely skilled at noticing patterns. A lifetime of talking a big game has been negated by playing like AAF superstar Johnny Manziel.

This presidency has embodied politics at their simplest. If you recall, the guy in charge was supposed to defy everything. The result shocks if you’re new to our planet. Welcome! Trump claims he’s not a politician. That’s sort of true, but only because he’s not skilled enough despite his claims that he’s the best at everything ever.

Making huge promises while never delivering has been his trademark for awhile, which makes him a natural for office. It’s just amazing at how many people fall for it. Of course, we share the planet with awful monsters who find Bud Light ads entertaining, so never expect too much from fellow humans.

At least we can enjoy the squirming. Watching shrill broads and fake tough twerps discover that their dreamboat is merely a cruder politician feels like a kitten get used to walking minus all the cuteness. Bless those pour souls who still think his preposterous claims embody bluntness when he’s just lying without skill. Don’t ask any followup questions. The suckers who brought us this world never checked what a Trump business actually sold, namely Trump.

Watching self-proclaimed alpha males worship a guy who rarely gets things done doesn’t make enduring this worthwhile, but at least there’s some entertainment out of this. Explaining why an exhausting toddler of a president is still a muscular conservative success who’s only loathed by Trump-loathing weaklings gets more amusing by the week. That poor baby needs defending. Claim he’s being assailed by insiders who don’t want to see him succeed to get booked on Judge Jeanine’s show. How did everyone know she’d defend him?