Month: August 2015

We’re All Miserable

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Life sucks for us all under this president. We have achieved equality just like Barack Obama sort-of promised.  I do remember him mentioning how every human would experience eternal bliss if he got more electoral votes than Republicans, but that’s just quibbling about details.  It is probably we who failed the Savior, anyway, what with our insistence upon separate checking accounts.

The lack of trust restrains those helpfully shoving us forward.  Humans do indeed have universal interests.  But they involve exclusive goals in diverging directions.  Everyone is out for separate things, which is very confusing to those who have been vaccinated for complexity and thus think everyone participating in the human race should finish at the same time.  The results are irrelevant compared to the opportunity.

The desire to be left alone brings us together.  Americans want to earn without being treated as villainous schmucks. If those who notice the country is sinking don’t want to be insulted by Obama, they should try to nuke Israel. In an era where those in power exploit the superficial differences they claimed they’d make irrelevant, individuality is even more important.  Give the finger to your federal minder with both hands for emphasis.

Start being yourself by stopping those defining you by your shade.  Star Trek taught us the folly of aligning with those of the same color, so let’s learn tolerance from the nerds even if Sulu turned out to be a nasty little racist. The automatic alignment is sad for both those who are and aren’t participating.

Everyone is hurt by some living as separatists.  Tell visiting aliens that most people of one shade support one side, and the visitors from a nearby galaxy would conclude said party has made life wonderful for them, right?  Next, good luck trying to explain to extraterrestrials what a Kardashian is and why it’s famous.

We’ll know race will be irrelevant once blacks discard the tendency to vote by complexion.  This sadly parochial ritual should be as obsolete as the Confederate flag on statehouse grounds.  Familial-based sorting is despicable when used to treat some as inferior and merely unfortunate when used to perpetrate the same poverty-bankrolling programs that have mired so many minorities in a presently inescapable rut.  Selling the end of hope has been good for Democrats, if not their voters.

Everyone’s hurting, which is socialism’s secret cruel twist.  Removing classes is the only way to ensure sadness is universal.  The present president teaches tolerance in his typically inadvertent way by showing pain is spread everywhere regardless of skin color.  Sadly, some bruises ache more.  The lousy economy has been especially challenging for blacks who simply cannot withstand any more federal assistance.  Obama must be racist against himself.

Idiotic economic goals affect everyone.  See? We are equal.  Income reshuffling is especially painful in areas where government aid has beaten prospects to death.  There’s more to life than not making enough to be free of assistance despite what the Party of Kindness may assure us.

Trying to overcompensate for obstacles is unhelpful. Crushing boulders with bigger boulders may have a downside.  People of all backgrounds need a government that paves roads and protects against crimes.  Presuming the apparatus designed to provide basic municipal services should guide our interactions is patronizing to all.

It’s hard enough to face challenges without having to overcome the urgings of lunatics.  You know things aren’t about to get easier when the notion that all lives matter is deemed offensive. Looking for racism in every phrase or gesture has made our reality the sort of thing that used to sound like parody.  We can’t mock what’s too absurd.

As for more grave ridiculousness, all Americans suffer when the White House props up tyrants who were finally being counted out. Now, the ref sticks his heel on Rocky’s throat. This revamped ending is awful.  Iran and Cuba are menacing all Americans regardless of the circumstances or lousy nations from which our descendants traveled.  If you’re not scared enough about leaders who aid the bad guys, know they see you as troublemakers for striving.  What’s been made is to be shared instead of sharing how to make more. All men should be sick of this.

Be glad the president broke the color barrier even if he’s rotten at his task. Now, we can consider candidates by merit no matter how scary that seems. Wondering which contender will screw up the nation the least is more in the spirit of elections than thinking the black guy should be executive for eight years because that would just be the coolest.  Why check to see if this particular individual is qualified? That’s bigoted.  With that profound qualification leading to sadly expected results, we can focus on electing someone skilled. That’s bad news for grinning doofuses impressed by the Buzzfeed selfie session.

Noting which politicians are more full of it than usual shouldn’t be a novel notion.  That process includes challenging the party that takes minority votes for granted.  Now that we’ve almost gotten having the first black president out of the way, we can focus on electing the first good one, or maybe a decent executive regardless of ancestry.  Vote for anyone who rejects the condescension this president has shown to all decent people.  Race riots aren’t surprisingly unrewarding as a longterm career.

The somehow radical approach of assessing a person’s character means not voting for, say, the corruptly unaccomplished lady because of the parts with which she was born.  Looking inside offends the party that sees humans as nothing more than components of groups.  Try something new if you tire of being classified with one look.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Bad Theory in Practice

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Comparing principle versus reality is useless to those who fail at both. The only thing worse than the concept of ceding liberty to bureaucrats is the outcome when it actually happens. A government that displays Adam Sandler fan-levels of intelligence knows how money should be spent, namely on projects more worthless than tickets to his movies. People who earn will be glad to hand it over, as experience has always showed us, right?

Give until everyone has as much as you.  Diluting the idea of property rights is ironically selfish. Taking what’s yours for the benefit of others is obviously immoral.  But a least it leads to a lousy economy.  It’s all upside.  Busted comrades should learn a lesson before professing allegiance to crackpot concepts.  Taking what’s rightfully someone else’s items lures those who see work as an untenable burden.

There’s no better option when facing despair than hiring experts to manage it.  Those in charge will confirm.  Sure, you could vote for a different party.  But where would you find entitlements once you were cut off as punishment for believing in individual capacity?  We have just the grant to cure your melancholy for 10 minutes.

Words are as devalued as savings, as the people who brought you comical redefinitions of stimulus, equality, and ending war deplete optimism reserves.  Washington can’t do anything about Persians going atomic or the vanished ability to earn at will.  But they can offer you a small allowance which you can use to buy kneepads in order to please the mullahs. This White House makes life mediocre at best and claims humans can do no better.  At least they’re finally honest.

You’d think we could at least get a deal on swill.  Instead, this garbage is awfully costly.  When there’s no competition or need to please customers, why keep down expenses? Allowing those who think prices only decrease through subsidy to mind the till provokes exorbitance for reasons greater than the inability to perform arithmetic. America’s shift supervisors are too busy making everything free to entertain the notion that buyers and sellers keep each other honest. Government is supposed to regulate our interactions, I’m sure. You just want it to enforce contracts? That’s way too passive.

There’s compassion in addiction, at least according to the friendly chaps who gave us the first Mickey Mouse blotters free of charge.  Sure, some fans of rigid notions related to the possibility of achievement think it’s sad that so many need assistance. But new-style compassion fans assure us we must help the starving without asking why pantries are empty. Life is just packed with bad luck when statists are in charge.  Fate is unkind during their periods of reign. At the same time, we’re blessed to have them dispensing assistance when there’s coincidentally widespread financial suffering.

Besides, government is supposed to help the victims of life, particularly those suffering thanks to mysterious impoverishing policies.  Sick loathers of America’s capability actually think it’s a success of compassion to stick as many people on assistance as possible. How would you fund a supermarket trip: some job?  Those are as antiquated as being nice to allies.  People working less so they can keep receiving entitlements may seem like an absurd reward. But it’s actually just a shrewd way to get more free time while profiting off the new appropriated economy.

The dispensers of what’s yours inadvertently prove incentives work. Offer something, and people will accept it.  That’s now a revolutionary concept.  For example, take what’s taken from you, which in this case means your income and not something abstract like dignity.  People aren’t going to bother with something as unwieldy as employment if they’re given object.  The only safeguard is pride, which is discouraged by those who note there’s no other present way to pay the utility bill.

The circle is unbreakable, except if someone removes a segment or something.  People blessed with nice jobs will have to work even harder to subsidize those that don’t.  They know their patriotic responsibility, right?  Sure, the money flow may seem sort of totally unsustainable.  But we must drain the economy to fund it.  The same answers apply to the problems they cause.  Just a little more assistance will create abundance.  The transfers multiply upon being spent.  Don’t worry yourself over that initial division.

This White House is not helping the Ivy League’s reputation unless cushy posts are the sole goal of academics.  These aren’t people who’ve ever had their work checked. It would’ve helped if they previously held jobs.  Yes, bosses are such a drag.  But they keep costs from spiraling and yell at the otherwise indolent to get to work.  Isn’t life cruel?

People who have never encountered accountability create standards as vigorous you’d expect while supervising each other.  This White House poorly enacts classically crummy ideas.  There has never been anyone more unqualified to run everyone else’s lives or anyone more convinced they should do so.  The only thing worse is the outcome.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Something to Sell

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

The only thing more offensive than being sold a product is being told to take one.  Advertising is a byproduct of human production, as letting people know what you peddle is how this species does business.  Don’t tell those jingle-loathing scolds why appealing to the public is part of a budget. Snotty leftist contempt for those who tell us about their wares reflects a desire to centralize everything.  Look for the Washington label.  If the item sucks, that’s tough.

Most people don’t like commercials.   Most people don’t like missing their family at work or how eating can cause weight gain, either, but the alternative is worse.  Removing the need for selling through centralization ends up as unpleasant as thinking the government can spend our money to please the economy.

In these excessively social days, benevolent leaders narrow the range of product options to one before making it illegal to dismiss.  Freedom from choice has not quite created the bliss envisioned.  The thought that not having anything to sell saves money has been quite costly.

Only people with something worth selling make worthwhile pitches. Besides, we’re coping with an eight-year ad break for a product as obsolete as it is worthless.  Americans are being forced to buy ENIAC machines.  And we can’t even play Sudoku on them.  The retro charm doesn’t justify the requirement.

The notion that government doesn’t sell its goods is as discredited as the concept of keeping your doctor. Those brutes with the health scheme give you the Glengarry Glen Ross pitch on something you’re forced to purchase. How many Obamacare timeshare meetings must we endure before they realize we’re so resistant that we’ll decline something mandatory to buy?  Maybe you’ll be convinced the Iran deal isn’t setting the conditions for World War III with the next hashtag.  This White House doesn’t grasp that the most effective advertisements are for things consumers actually desire.

Isn’t it silly how much Coca-Cola spends urging you to drink sugar water? Anyway, pay no mind to what this administration has wasted trying to convince us to enroll in a plan we’re punished by law if we leave it out of our carts.  The difference is that a real-world shopping trip involves your money, at least if you’re one of the few people lucky enough to earn at a level that the government soaks you.  Anyone who despises those paying income taxes should realize poverty stems from the top hat set sending more to Washington shredders instead of investing in businesses. Sock it to the rich, and yourself.

Presume even the simplest things have to be explained to those who think the FCC will make the internet faster.  Start with slowly explaining how competition lowers prices, as retailers have to maximize quality to attract business while keeping the budgets of those they’re trying to attract in mind.  We’re dealing with dupes who think removing options helps make what’s left desirable.  This White House doesn’t get incentives, or anything else, for that matter. They’re steady in the wrong way. Giving Iran a credit card is as perverse as concluding the government’s financial speciality is proficiency.

How do these people get through the day?  The thought that removing the need to please others makes mandarins efficient is as shrewd as hoping the Tooth Fairy will save us from debt.  Good luck to those trying to cite an example.  Bureaucrats with no chance of getting fired or motivation to please consumers are renowned for assisting fellow humans.  We get to choose products when we escape the Beltway’s reach, which is hellish for liberals. They can’t even supervise the prices we pay or monitor the status of what we get.  Can we really trust people to know what’s best for themselves?

Everyone’s pushing a message.  The White House gets free time on the news.  By contrast, thank those who purchase the privilege for supporting your favorite programs and sites.  You can refuse their enticing offers if you’d prefer.  Private sellers have to appeal to as many customers as they can.  Commercial interaction is a revelation to statists.  Next, we can try to convince them that our enemies should behave before we invite them to sleepovers.

Yes, we all tire of trying to be talked into a sale.  The Geico gecko is as grating as Progressive Flo, and I’d buy a pay-per-view of them fighting in a shark tank.  The Wendy’s girl can officiate if she covers her wetsuit in chicken nuggets first.  But all offer something which you can disregard while changing the channel.  Try rejecting any federal mandate if you think you can outrun IRS dogs.  Obey idiots hiding behind three letters or get penalized.  As for an initialism representing deliciousness you can turn down if your taste buds don’t work, it turns out there is something worse than the Darrell Hammond KFC ads.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Hard to Breathe

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

For smug bastards who purportedly love the Earth, liberals sure are polluting the atmosphere.  A crummy attitude changes everything, as you can sense from the stifling reaction to reduced oxygen levels. The White House thinks it’ll make our lungs stronger.  Instead, we’re presently strangled by restrictions on interaction that would be comical were they not so onerous.  Laughing about them will get you targeted by some droopy federal stooge who is not about to go back to temping just because you think workers should be doing something valuable.  Intimidation fuels this biosphere.

You may not be enjoying the era of attacking enterprise if you like paychecks and things to buy.  It’s the fault of businesses for making the government look bad by comparison.  Simple transactions are quite offensive to your political bosses, as they prove you don’t need guidance.

Take how your self-appointed decision-makers demonize Uber, one of the few things presently working.  Finding someone willing to sell a ride is as easy as human interaction gets; to an invasive government, that’s a problem.  Simultaneously, the baby face-stabbers at Planned Parenthood are not only free to sell pieces of its kills but also needs to access the public kitty.  Violating your conscience with compulsory donations is demented test to see how far sickos can spread germs.

A rotten ambience can drag down even places built to reach the sky. Take the world’s once-greatest city, a place where you could dare to use the sidewalks without fear of being super-murdered and extra-raped.  Rudy Giuliani’s New York was a shockingly glorious urban oasis where only criminals were scared.  Being able to thrive was much easier without fear of stepping on a syringe or passed-out hooker.  And you could still be an artist even with clean sidewalks.  If you don’t like the Disney Store, hang out somewhere other than Times Square. Filth was better organized.

To be fair, the thought of walking wherever you please is a radical one. You can do the same in Bill de Blasio’s city; it’s just that you’ll be mugged by a member of his coalition.  As a best-case scenario, you will encounter aggressive panhandlers and those choosing to slumber in public. The nappers seem tamer, but they take up seats and are cranky when awoken.  Forget the air quality: a scrubbed metropolis is back to being polluted.

The attitude you should and can care for yourself has been suffocated. The government graciously tolerates your shallow breaths.  Still, expecting Washington to do anything is problematic if one first attempts to cite a single successful federal intervention.  There are uncountable examples of meddling from which to select, with a couple more added daily by an administration that determined without evidence they make life fruitful.  Finding an instance where they succeeded should be easy.  Take your time.

Those who say the free market can’t do something make the prediction true through callowness and idleness.  The actively lazy could affect things positively just by minding their own business.  Doing nothing is sadly challenging, especially for such indolent humans.  But professional busybodies can’t let others go about their days.  Bothering those who are productive is a coping mechanism for those who aren’t.

All politicians are useless.  The truly bad ones won’t admit it. Marginally less awful leaders know that their only role is to preserve circumstances that permit the useful to invent worthwhile goods.  Instead, we get pompous dopes who think they provoke fruitfulness.  Interfering with helpful humans has made life miserable.  Elections are for people who can’t get respectable work.  Too few winners have the nerve to acknowledge that.

Liberals can help the environment.  It’s not in the manner of condemning us to primitive lives because of superstition about making Earth uninhabitable or even hoping pinwheels generate enough power to keep the air conditioner humming.  Rather, they can act beneficially by refraining from interdicting on those who are.  They must stop restraining effectiveness because of that frustratingly persistent notion that government is useful.  Drop this anvil on your china to keep it from breaking.  Dragging down others because of their own struggles doesn’t even make them feel better.

Smug-powered Gaia warriors think they’re helping by making themselves nature’s bitches.  In reality, they’re trying to save the planet when they can’t even lower the unemployment rate.  Making people quit the workforce doesn’t count.  Well, getting people to give up on the idea of simply seeking work is clever, in a way. Sitting there without a job shrinks carbon footprints.  And money only gets spent on greenhouse gas-creating luxuries like ceilings.

The real green solution is for eco-goons to stop polluting the world with their noxious ideas.  Rewarding criminality while raging against those who prefer to heed the Constitution is crushing the American ecosystem.  Don’t leave the baby in front of the tailpipe while moaning about exhaust.

It’s poisonous to tell a fragile species that those who got ahead did so through chance, grift, and white privilege.  Being locked in a room with filthy potheads is the worst sort of pollution.  The situation calls for smashing windows.  Emissions are at their worst.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

No Rules or Progress

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Doing as one pleases is now only for people who say you can’t do the same. The childish desire to act without fear of the results is the dream of unpleasant brats.  Take those presently drawing on the White House’s walls.  The crayon brigade has banished the daycare supervisor with expectedly joyous consequences.  Kids think running around is the ultimate expression of freedom until they’ve all stuck each other with scissors.  The question is why we let the patently immature boss us around.

If we get one more archetypical case of a useless government telling you by law it’s useful, we’ll have enough for a pattern.  For now, there are only one jillion examples of the randomness that follows rule by decree.  Take how Obamacare’s boundaries are redrawn minute-by-minute, which is a true inspiration to doctors.  Why retain what was learned in medical school when you can just wing it upon opening the poor sedated fellow?  See what looks like it fits together.

The improvisational medical spirit means setting aside deadlines, mandates, and promises.  But at least it’s all to not make us healthy and rich. The White House is certain that they’ll keep you whole at a fair price.  The exemption list can’t be amended at pace.  If Obamacare pimps have to lie in a futile effort to make people like it, the actual service is bound to be amazing.

Some lucky Americans have been issued get out of jail free cards.  Anyone shrewd enough to vote for the jailers is now above the law.  The Justice Department presently emphasizes their name’s first word by checking voter registration as part of evidence review.  Or maybe Hillary won’t get away with it this time.

A donation to a politician who thinks this is the real recovery summer is especially helpful for anyone looking to skirt prosecution. As a result, wish good luck to anyone hoping for a federal investigation of someone with an Obama sticker on a MacBook.  If anyone from Organizing for Action has heads in their freezers, now is the time to confess.

Ghouls who let ailing veterans and an ambassador in distress die are still being paid, if not working hard.  Someone like Lois Lerner should be getting her hair pulled in the prison shower.  But she broke the law to help her side, which makes her a folk hero to country-ruining dastards out to intimidate people who dare to want less federal spending.  Meanwhile, the last secretary of state treats destroying evidence like an accomplishment.  That’s what happens when you let someone who can’t understand that crime decreases as criminals are incarcerated be the warden.

Words are meaningless, at least to those who disapprove of standards for personal competence reasons.  Take treaties they won’t even admit are treaties.  Handing Iran all the uranium they could with both hands was a warmup for lying about it afterward. The White House disregarding truth impressed the Islamic lunatics they befriended, and common ground is crucial to any deal.  Sadly, these noxious dolts agreeing with each other will lead to genocidal chaos in the name of global equality.  But at least this White House proved that all it took to arm an international villain was prostration.

Autocrats do as they please.  It’s because they’re better than you, as seen by the outright competence leadership displays daily.  Similarly, people who discourage personal responsibility never exhibit any themselves. There are limits to the benefits of consistency.

The bossy types act without limits for as long as the public refuses to hold them accountable.  Most maddening of all is that regular people have the tools to pester jerks in power.  Instead, our more sanctimonious fellow citizens use magic glow screens which can access everything we know to spread claptrap on Facebook about how everyone has affordable insurance now.  Who cares if it never happens?  It just means a doomed nation.  But at least there’ll be no reason to worry about who’s got nukes.  Will Trivia Crack still work after the apocalypse?

Liberty now means politicians doing what pleases them.  Even worse, their top goal is restraining everyone not in office.  The libertines won’t extend the privilege of decision-making to regular Americans.  It’s not even like the ends justify the means: the White House breaks the law to hassle us into poverty.  In addition to being as warped as possible, they’re really setting a very good example.  Point out the precedent to your auditor.  After all, you’re only being targeted for your rattlesnake flag.

We may as well amused by absurdity even as we’re crushed into despondency.  The Poles would encourage us to laugh even while suffering due to the fits of rudderless bullies who would be even more oppressive were they not so oafish.  Do as they say, not as they do, even as what they say changes to accommodate what they didn’t do.  The toddlers in charge need their juice.  They’ll lecture you about how much sugar you spoon into your coffee.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

We Lose, Woo!

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Boasting of failure is a natural result of a screwed-up world.  Blame a frighteningly effective sales pitch.  Dolts who think capitalism doesn’t work are tacitly admitting they fall for any ad copy that sounds appealing, which explains every moment since 2009.  Dang: maybe they have a point.

But the adults want an opportunity to exchange labor for something worthwhile even if the kids are shrieking about the action figure the commercial made them want so badly.  Who’s going to earn to buy the fun plastic contraption? These sick brats are proud of taking down the economy along with the sense you should earn things.  They think others will keep subsidizing idle time even as they discourage effort.  I can’t envision the cash well ever running dry.

For the boasters, winning is an accomplishment even if if it means defeating good ideas.  You may relish the opportunity to point out when Supreme Court decisions lead to lousy circumstances, but it means ample suffering first.  Besides, statist crusaders will have forgotten their self-righteousness by then.  They’ll be condemning Antonin Scalia for dissenting against the gender pronoun ban by the time Obamacare has turned our incomes and insides to mush.

Those captaining us downward enjoy bellowing about how love is love is subsidies that aren’t in the law.  And the Iran deal will outlive this presidency, along with perhaps millions of free people.  The warm feelings of those shuffling America will have long faded by the time the frightening consequences of their goals are fully experienced.   To them, it’s not a good result that’s important but rather how they got what they wanted.  They can brag of a win without listing the merits.  After all, that’s the only reason their party is still around.

Your jaw may drop upon realizing that things falling apart is their plot. But astute observers suspected that was their script all along.  These deviants want babies shrieking instead of adults working, as they just happen to have a federal apparatus in place to control allowances.  By chance, hopeless people will vote for those who promise enough not to go hungry.  Life lately feels more uncanny than usual.

The lust for obscurity all makes sense, sickly.  An irrelevant America doesn’t need to spend on defense, as it can sink funds into making poor people rich.  The trickle-everywhere economy should’ve dripped us to prosperity by now.  Clearly, we need steeper taxes.  A fairer massive burden will at last bring that elusive equal feeling.

Selling decline is a sort-of impressive skill, especially for people with no other useful qualities.  But bullying helps, too.  Those putting America in reverse have amoral tactics on their side, which aligns with their enthusiasm for forcing humans what to do.  Shady executive orders are fun. But what’s really exciting is ignoring the rule book altogether. Amateurs evade laws, while true pros disregard the Constitution.

Sadly, too many have decided it’s a worthy goal for people who have never run a thing to run our lives. Worst of all, cheaters know the refs aren’t watching.  The underhanded competitors think nobody on the other side loathes the constitutional process enough to undo all this rotten junk, which is what it might take.  Those who merely wish to no longer be bothered are handicapped by respecting protocol as pushy statists have not. The general welfare is unwell.

Expert redistributionists who buy votes with fat entitlements and fatter pensions don’t worry themselves about constitutional niceties.  Their violations are inherently pushy.  As a result, we will have to wedge freedom back in to place.  The difference is we don’t hope to abuse the power we take with brutishness.  Claiming back what they stole is noble to those who read Robin Hood correctly. People who take liberty are eager to take income, too.  They expect praise for maintaining their standards.

They practically beg for pushback, so don’t let them down.  It may go against our nature to, say, crush their sick health insurance scheme with a simple majority.  But we’d just be restoring liberty confiscated in the same manner.  Deep down, statist fetishists will respect the force. And, although they won’t appreciate learning that virtually unrestrained personal autonomy is America’s default setting, they can learn to like it.  If they don’t, who cares?  It’s not like they queried us about letting a government that can’t protect rivers or your assigned number micromanage everything.  They’ll have to learn to work for what they get, which will provide extra entertainment.

It’s time for a history lesson, especially for those who don’t seem aware it exists. America faces Hamiltonian circumstances where we need to get a little pushy to get decent things back in place.  It’s no wonder this scumbag White House dishonors the first Treasury Secretary by trying to take him off money. Erasing history is a specialty of this administration, as concealment is easier than doing something worth remembering.

You’d think the depression caused by having to beg for allotments would signal to them that they have no idea what they’re doing.  But they’ve either convinced themselves things are nice or that not-nice things are the best we can do.  Both sound fun.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Sore Winners and Big Losers

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

The step before enlightenment is nasty gloating.  At least that’s what Dalai Obama wagers.  Never mind the drum major marching the corps into a sewer: doltish fans too cool to learn human nature or math gave us the most un-presidential president imaginable.  Meeting the minimum age requirement is inadequate.

It’s not bad enough that we have to endure fears of Iranian nukes dotting the horizon before we run out of canned goods.  Having leftovers contaminated by fallout seems wasteful.  He’d be boasting to whoever’s in his bunker about lowering Earth’s carbon footprint.

America is so racist against the color of Obama’s skin. Wait: make that its thinness.  The prickly ruiner of dreams is dismissive of anyone who notes dolts in robes from that other branch could be wrong or that the labor force participation rate could be correct. What does observing conditions tell you that an insufferable executive can’t?

The man who can’t figure a way to discourage Iran other than daring them to behave is insecure despite the pomposity.  A 54-year-old child feels he’s right about everything despite every bit of evidence he’s wrong.  Presuming foes want the worst is bad enough for an effective leader.  It’s even worse when an executive who’s spread poverty and the ability of terror states to split atoms concludes those who notice his deal sucks want Iran to nuke us.  To deal with his incongruities, he projects fears that people might notice his America-loathing cloddishness on Major Garrett. He never even thought to lash out at our enemies, maybe because he doesn’t see them as such.

A little dignity is too much to ask.  The “I won” and “It’s. The. Law.” administration has a strange way of reaching across the aisle, namely with an activated switchblade in hand.  Remember the next time he acts like his agenda would be tainted by dissent that Republicans are the extremists who won’t compromise.  You may not be enjoying the exhausting reign of someone intent on enforcing his notions without hearing out the opposition’s ideas, much less including one or two. What’s truly appalling is how stupid the ideas are.

Circumstances doesn’t even feel superficially awesome at present.  The worst thing about entrusting power with the phonily affable is their idiotic take on cool.  Part of growing up is finally heeding the quiet nerds.  But today’s culture discourages studying. It’s easier to learn from memes generated by morons.  Those six-figure college degrees are really worth the frame’s cost.

Trying to sit at the popular lunch table is now life’s ultimate goal, with expectedly shallow results. Today’s kids never checked if the homecoming king and queen actually amounted to anything more than gym towel wrangler and mall food court sample toothpick supervisor, respectively.  Well, one did make it to president, although we’re experiencing the result of an American-loathing buffoon coasting on charm. Obama peaked in his fancy Hawaiian high school.

Getting what you want means you’re a success, claim alcoholics who snag a pint of Mohawk gin after taking money from grandma’s change purse. Obama never checks if anything he’s done is good, which is a habit he’ll learn upon reaching adulthood.  For now, the toddler’s tantrum gets him more cookies, which will never make him sick. He’ll wave his bounty about before wondering why that puking feeling emerges.

We’ve tried this even if he doesn’t know.  The very historically literate Obama deploys an untested ideology, at least by him. Humans know bowing to villains while pillaging domestic enterprises inevitably fails, at least those aware that the 20th century happened.  The only thing worse than sharing money is sharing friendship with global dastards.  Our president strangely advocates for both.  Someone who incessantly and irksomely claims he’s on the right side of history isn’t even correct if we start at his Year One.

An actual savior would be nice right about now.  Specifically, we could use an executive who’s actually competent, which is apparently a momentous request.  America seeks someone who isn’t smug as he repairs damage.  In other words, he’d be the precise opposite of what we have now. He won’t even scowl at his opponents once debt starts decreasing.

Wondering at present who will take this sap’s job is fun for the same reason as preseason football, namely because it signals we can start looking forward to what’s next.  The ceaseless presidential campaign hasn’t even really started yet, and we’ll have about 73 more Marvel movies released before we actually vote.  But previews are the only way to cope with a present lousy feature.

The squinty eyes and smug grin of a petulant little president make us yearn for the thought of relief.  If it seems like there are many Republican hopefuls, there should be more, as each offers the fantasy of an alternative to the priggish stench of statist failure.  Don’t limit your dreams.

The self-appointed messiah exhibits the spirit of a child.  It’s not a compliment.  Perhaps he senses his wins aren’t turning into victories.  In fact, the nation regresses as his agenda marches forward.  Lashing out with nonsensical bravado is his way of coping. I didn’t say you have to feel bad for him.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Learn from Lameness

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

I guess you don’t know with certainty if falling down the elevator shaft will end in pain.  It’s best to climb up the cable and try a few times to make sure.  America’s been descending hastily for years, and the impact is bound to not tickle.  The White House assures us we’ll feel better with pulverized bones and will love the painkillers, anyway.

We shouldn’t need examples of why liberalism sucks.  It’s definitely time to pick up the lesson, as there’s not much else to do in traction, anyway. Let’s promise to learn from the pain this time and jab each other’s healing wounds with sticks if we forget.

Our instantaneous society will need eight years to know Obama is a cosmic failure.  Some T-Mobile customers might get slowly-loading tweets, but they shouldn’t lag that much. The attacks on small-government fans by the same leaders who toady to big global villains have only been occurring constantly. A few more thousand infringements, and people might start to take notice.  For now, let’s debate the best Instagram filter for selfies.

It didn’t take tarot cards to read this future.  Some of us could’ve told you that we’d be vulnerable for reasons greater than being broke.  This isn’t to gloat, but perhaps you should get political information from someone other than sanctimonious high school pals on Facebook. At the least, pay attention to friends who aren’t posting criminally stupid memes claiming your insurance is about to get affordable.

Maybe we would stop moping if you’d listen to us.  Instead, we have to relieve our pain with sad poems and Morrissey songs.  The only thing that sustains us is the dream of relief in some distant year like 2017.  At least every sad day is one day closer to grownups getting the chance to stop Iranian terrorists from going atomic, reverse the notion that self-reliance is obsolete, and convince patients that subsidized insurance is nothing but an expensive sugar pill.  Every bad moment passing brings us closer to removing burdens.  Cope with sickness any way you can.

There are ample flames to douse as the White House heaves Molotov cocktails at everything Americans hold dear.  I wish there were more fulfilling ways to pass time, but at least spend the hours trying to limit infernos.  The only thing saving us from further damage is the president’s dainty throwing motion.  But even a fluttering bottle half-filled with petrol can cause damage upon landing against a faded ancient document.

Those entrusted with real power to implement kook theories are screwing up on a municipal level, as well.  Take prickly dick Bill de Blasio, who some of us knew would bring that fun throwback widespread felony vibe to Fun City.  Even in this dumb city, the honorary Sandinista has created provisions that make New Yorker print copy-reading Zabar’s patrons take pause.  Nothing creates conservatives like liberals in power.

If nothing else, the incumbent enemy of productivity has set the stage for a follow-up mayor who hates criminals instead of cars. But the next election might only extend pain.  It shouldn’t take an unpleasant putz screwing up Earth’s greatest city to prove that class warfare is for classless losers.  Bribing the housing market means fewer places to live, but at least we couldn’t afford rent, anyway. There’s bad news if you want your order in a container that actually can hold food.

It’s already too late for those who think a $2.75 freaking subway ride shouldn’t include a passenger-to-passenger pitch from increasingly emboldened panhandlers.  Many fed-up Knickerbockers tease the wholly unpleasant de Blasio for being a likely one-term mayor after every time his ass gets whooped by reality.  But it’s far from certain Gotham’s voters will acquire enough sense to hate felons more than business owners, especially with so many everyday expenses being addressed by a government that’s quite into thievery.  For a broader sobering example, Barack Obama elected twice when he shouldn’t have won once.

Discovering what’s wrong is in our hands. Contrarians don’t even have to offer a book to those who stubbornly refuse to admit insurance deductibles are keeping pace with debt.  We should embrace the wonders of living in Futureland instead of letting the present seem confusing.  It’s my understanding everyone has a pocket-sized supercomputer that permits access to all information humans have compiled. With such devices, it’s easy to find examples of how attempting to help the poor by taking from those who aren’t harms both. Remember them this time.  Write a note. Hey: you can use the same gizmo.

There’s a big difference between contentment with the way things are and ignoring what’s going poorly.  Many people who understandably avoid thinking about Washington is up to don’t realize it takes special effort to keep things going well.  Invasions into autonomy accumulate enough to affect personal budgets and decisions.  Everyone prefers going about their lives rather than focusing on dumb politics.  But ignoring invasive policies is no more helpful than trying to reduce health costs by subsidizing them.

We sadly know what’s next.  Contemporary soothsayers don’t need to read Greece’s entrails, although analyzing that unhealthy deceased Aegean animal’s guts is one time hepatoscopy would actually tell us something.  But pain is on the way as long as the sadists get to pretend their experiments may not hurt.

Landlubbers don’t have to look abroad for a flaming shipwreck caused by encouraging the crew to idle on the deck.  Looting the captain’s quarters has been as productive as dipping into the rum ration. I understand the urge to booze. Just remember why we feel so regretful tomorrow morning.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.

Ticking Off the Right People

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Republicans are losing battles with less style than they think.  Democrats getting what they want is a loss for dignity no matter how genteel Senate procedures seem.  Taking a stand against maniacal spending on insane projects would help both party and country, so forget it.

True progress is going to upset some confused voters. But they’ll win over fans of integrity and enemies of becoming Greece.  If John Boehner’s homeboys keep assenting to feeding a welfare state that fares poorly, they’ll alienate even more people who miss earning. At least the Surrender Party knows they didn’t stick to their ideals.

The erstwhile advocates of being left alone won’t make cuts due to cut-off balls.  Far too many GOP senators spend wretched terms cowering in fear of tantrum experts who don’t want to lose entitlements.  There’s not a chance of slashing truly expensive stupid programs when the pro bowers won’t even stand up to Planned Parenthood’s baby mills or the Export-Import Bank’s corporate dole. The flood’s up to the attic, and the Party of Coolidge is too afraid to bail out with tablespoons.

Mature adults should have conditioned themselves to ignore the whining.  Those made to fend for themselves will be naturally upset, and so what? It’s about time for whiners to hit the supermarket, where crossing items off the list will be easier once the damn economy isn’t being strangled by, oh, outrageous Washington spreading. A better job market is a reward for not paying people to idle.  But Politico and the network news might call them mean for realizing that money trees aren’t blooming, and they didn’t run for office so they could have their feelings hurt.

We can’t sink the republic for the sake of those with Democratic values. Congressional dwellers worried about offending the usual suspects should know debt will consume us as a practical matter. On a philosophical level, the purported small-government party should want to irk those out to hook healthy people to federal IVs.  That’s just about enough of thinking the government creates productivity by taking productive people into submission.  But the ostensible opposition is unwilling to stop the war on profits.

The financial experts are sure the bribes will pay off soon.  But humans need income, not lump sums, as seen from trying to dole allotments to individuals, companies, and industries in a spectacularly vain attempt to make them rich.  Getting checks instead of asking for change in an empty coffee cup means having to work, which isn’t as fun as begging.  Unfortunately, getting to float about without toil only happens in Heaven.  At least one side should recognize eternal paradise can’t be recreated on this stupid physical plane, so let’s apply for some jobs.

Refusing to cater to people angry about constant overreach shows elected Republicans don’t understand business.  It’s not even ironic at this point.  Most of the public doesn’t want a government that blows at everything running almost everything.  By saying “uncle” at the slightest Democratic brush burn, there’s effectively one party in Washington.  Then, Reince Priebus wonders why betrayed conservatives stay home. A party that will keep its promise to raise spending versus a party that will break its promise to lower it isn’t much of a contest.

Standing against the half-assed pinkos who think they’re qualified and entitled to commandeer spending is atrocious for the country, which you may have heard is founded upon not being bothered.  But the public will also respect boldness. Republicans remembering they’re allowed to be principled will perturb fans of money grabs.  But they should know the right people will be angry. Brats will have to feed themselves.  It’ll be good for them as they learn to grow up.

As it stands, both parties enable babies.  At least one shouldn’t do so, unless there’s no point to elections.  Actually, a vast segment of registered voters think that’s the case.  Republicans are trying to appeal to everyone and failing to appeal to much of anyone. Hoping ideas will win out is great, but you must have them first.  They should at least be able to come up with less awful plans.  But shell-dweller Mitch McConnell won’t even stand behind those.  Backing down is totally convincing citizens you’d be courageous with power.

Democrats win with brute force, which should at least inspire their alleged foes.  Sure, it’d be nice if Obama’s Delta Force would stand up to, say, America’s enemies the way they do a slight decrease in a spending increase.  But they just push through what they wish in defiance of courtesy.

At least one party should have some dignity and refuse to back unearned personal subsidies that can’t continue indefinitely.  The willingness to acquiesce to pilfering means the country sinks even deeper.  We don’t get an option because they don’t exercise theirs.  Having one de facto choice leaves no hope.

Anthony Bialy is a writer and “Red Eye” conservative in New York City. Follow him at http://twitter.com/AnthonyBialy. Download a free ebook of his 2014 columns at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/505996.