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Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Twitter seems confused about what it is.  I can tell you it’s not X.  The worst rebranding in human history makes the Willis Tower look like an accepted name change by comparison.  Drink a New Coke and post.

Treating an app like it’s enduring a personality crisis is just one more way AI is preparing us for conquering.  Destruction will be subtle.  We braced for Terminators and instead got cyborgs who nudged us into irrelevance.

The ultimate time-squandering site reflects confusion of the humans ostensibly in charge.  Its original and prevailing purpose is not grasped by those who decide its direction, which frustrates those who want to use it properly.

Users dash to a haven for sharing the trite during breaking news or when one feels the need to explain what’s wrong with a mild annoyance.  A simple yet useful outlet functions as a virtual steam valve.  The CEO should know that.

Post what you observe.  Man, journalism is easy.  It’s similarly effortless to to call out fibbers, which is particularly satisfying when they claim to speak on truth’s behalf.  Verifying in real time is fairly easy, which is why alleged professionals despise it.

The only training needed is to avoid journalism school.  It either drains common sense or attracts attendees who never possessed any.  Flagging fibs the media used to get away with not only shows how anyone with the slightest bit of awareness and suspicion can perform the job with zero college credits in a little bit of free time but also be way better at it than those who are rather snotty about being trained.

Twitter is the primary place where fact checks check facts.  Community Notes might be the first worthwhile group effort.  Taping an asterisk on liars is the most satisfying way to strive for truth.  Readers free to check the footnotes, as well.  It’s verification all the way down.

Alerts stay red.  Constant patrolling is crucial.  Those who think government offers the last word on truth wait for a scientist they agree with to proclaim what can never be challenged.

Employees should be grateful to not have to toil much.  Twitter embodies the punk aesthetic, and not just by using its real name.  Rebel with a DIY vibe against pompous dolts in power by to mock their shameless lies.  Filling an open space is what anyone with creative urges desires.  The lack of technical proficiency may be obvious.  But the Ramones didn’t need to be virtuosos to get their point across.

Account holders just want back to pre-Elon times  That’s not not the stifled climate where anyone to Pol Pot’s right fretted every time they logged in that some woke nitwit tattled on them for an imaginary offense.  But it’d be nice to return to freewheeling ways.  Elon Musk is to big ideas what Michael Bay is to movies.

Remaining Twitter diehards miss the fun of discovery.  Coming across fascinating posts was like finding fun parody accounts on MySpace or realizing you didn’t need to know addresses once you discovered Yahoo! categories.  You could even type in a search if you were feeling freewheeling.

Quality doesn’t conflate with quantity, as seen now on Twitter.  Engagement numbers that used to look like shares show how compelling and/or hilarious content gets buried.  People with worthwhile things to say just want to be heard.  The timeline has gotten rather echoey.

I wish there were an easy way to learn what users want like reading responses.  Worthwhile responses undoubtedly got buried.  The erstwhile bird app is nothing more than a place to vent.  Participants compose a pithy reply after seeing something stupid that we used to have to fume about to eye-rolling spouses while watching the news.

Twitter doesn’t merely alleviate stress from marriages.  Bitching is cathartic.  Our stupid existence features countless indignities worthy of a quick harangue.  It’s relieving to find others who, say, think John Stewart is a sanctimonious prick.

Leave us alone.  That applies to everything, including how we organize our feeds.  Personal curation means we can see the abbreviated notions of others just like others can with ours.  The ability to set up our own feed of news and interests is the whole reason users turned to Twitter in the first place.  It should remain the primary spot ranting about everything else, including other social media sites.

Holding out is a matter of pride.  It’s amazing how many tweeters still haven’t told friends and relatives about their little corner for diatribes.  Twitter is the virtual place where users most feel like themselves.  Idealized versions on other applications don’t compare to the gritty filth of smirking honesty.

Click a different square if you’re into pretending to have a delightful family, visit exotic locales on a regular basis, or be adept at today’s dance craze.  Head to Twitter if you want to keep it real.  Tired people sometimes find the most excitement in life is commenting on it.  But at least your brain’s running.  People who have nothing to say fail to understand those who do.

Lamentably, many of the best notions get buried.  An algorithm is an advanced method of keeping users from seeing what they want.  Users chose their follows because that’s the content they want to see.  Crazy notions about personal autonomy are reflected in seeing what we’d like.  The authorities think they know better despite constant evidence to the contrary.

Overlords decide to decide for you, which you’re still free to decide is a lousy annoyance.  Twitter leans toward Biden-style life-running where pathetic humans are unaware of what they truly desire.  No app should want to imitate this White House.  Ceaseless attempts to show what micromanagers think you would like or need to view have failed to convince.

Snotty commentators often say social media is not real life.  It’s just real people discussing what’s happening, that’s all.  It’s as if humans don’t present the image they want while talking to each other.  Interacting with others while sharing personal details sounds like a nice setup.  The real question is why life isn’t more like Twitter.

As in the outside world, the tendency persists to ruin something that ran just fine without interdiction.  A timeline of your choosing is a simple request in a time when so many other decisions are confiscated.

Avoiding Media Socializing

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Twitter is the worst disappointment since our government. A theoretically sound idea makes its ghastliness in practice even more acute. The scrolling garbage pile is as dreadful as a conceptually noble federal system where Joe Biden ends up executive, Nancy Pelosi leads the commoner legislators, and Chuck Schumer gets to run the snotty section. Nothing matches our ideal conception in this woeful reality. But we could still try voting a little better while letting anyone to Honecker’s right maintain a social media presence.

Closing an open platform is especially regrettable for an app conducive to kvetching. Humans need venting. The online steam valve allows for pressure alleviation whenever there’s stupid news, which makes typing fast enough to keep up a challenge. Noting what’s horrendous about a story is cathartic on its own and even more relieving when others who choose to see your rants get to your point. 

But the audience dwindles for one particular side. Limiting the reach of anyone who disagrees is always for a good reason, according to those enforcing power trips. Ejecting anyone who notices government sucks at everything is for safety. You’re not pro-violence, are you?

The worst part about banning anyone who likes the Constitution is cutting off other interests. Twitter theoretically allows users to enjoy a wide disparity of particular personal interests. Nothing beats a break from politics at any time.

Notes from more joyous parts of life especially welcome in a place where refreshing sadly brings updates on what our government is doing. The ideal time-waster remains the eclectic place where I can see what’s on the mind of humans as wide-ranging as Matthew Barnaby, Bootsy Collins, and Whit Stillman. I wish I could get them to comment on the same thread. Ensuring distractions from current events is especially welcome when events would ideally not currently happen. Getting to see what inspires others is particularly welcome compared to churning out hot takes every 10 minutes.

Gleeful banning makes the failure even worse on account of the disparity. Acting like narcing bitches is entirely predictable behavior for those who believe so thoroughly they support equality that anyone else must be a bigot. Accuse all who disagree of Nazism for purity. Meanwhile, flip tables and find crawlspaces to find where those who believe gender isn’t a choice are hiding.

Twitter must ban Hitler fans, who just happen to be everyone who disagrees that Joe Biden will make us rich. Virtual hall monitors only bounce aspiring Fourth Reich members, which sure is a relief for the self-righteous gloating over excised viewpoints. No true Scotsman would have his account terminated. You must hate transgender people if you think they shouldn’t be allowed in the military, as there could be no other reason aside from unfitness for service in a profession whose goal is winning wars.

Gleeful moderators only ban evil demons, so Patty Parler must be one. Typing “QED” saves space. The same sort of pure logic allows adherents to believe socialism will finally increase their wealth.

Your ideas are fine as long as they agree with the site’s management. Now, that’s an open forum. It’s no wonder Twitter lets China spread propaganda when they admire their vigorous approach to monitoring humans. North Korea should try to get on with their computer. Tandy’s stock price suddenly surges.

Coaching Twitter should be easier than winning with Michael Jordan. All they have to do is roll out the ball. Instead, social media monitors think their fancy coaching is what will create greatness. Please just let us play.

Treating the glorified texting site like an open forum makes Twitter employees’ jobs easy, which I figure they’d crave. Read tweets in the order chosen for a revolutionary experience. A true free market of speech scares those who don’t trust people to buy and sell, either.

As for monitoring, Twitter elves could ban true abuse with explanations that permit appeals while letting users figure out who deserves blocking. But that dearth of meddling would be like being in government and not ordering people what to do.

Instead, Jack and company decided they’re very serious guardians against mean words. People who endorse a diabolical system that killed 100 million humans are deeply concerned about white supremacists, which they define as anyone who wants a flat tax.

The execution kills the concept. Users loathe reading the trending topics to see how Twitter minions distort the news this moment. Feeling compelled to check how bad it is surely means the woke political science majors toiling in Twitter mines have uncovered valuable content.

Gluing asterisks to every lie by a politician they don’t back is for truth’s sake. Acting like Donald Trump was unique for treating truth as casually as he does his marriage vows disregards how many officeholders fib regularly. It’s true, even for Democrats, if you can believe. Barack Obama lied more smoothly, but there are no disclaimers about how his promise insurance would finally be cool ended up making premiums as unaffordable as the coverage was lousy. Biden continuing a legacy doesn’t make it noble.

How could anyone expect to see if a lovable senior citizen is untruthful as he makes us appreciate accumulated wisdom? Your unnervingly devoted partisan adversaries pretend Biden is a cool grandparent in their creepy Maxine Waters/Bernie/RBG fetishization of hoary pinkos. Personal adoration of a creep who happens to agree with their viewpoints allows them to treat his fibs as part of his charm. The mendacious oaf they want to believe can’t be lying skates on scrutiny.

Twitter stumbled upon something amazing and do everything they can to wreck it. The George Lucas of social media has only gotten worse since Disney obtained Star Wars. They never have their story straight. As how the plot twists were so jarring between episodes that they almost seem unplanned, Biden proclaims preposterous assurances that fail before his staffer in charge of pressing the tweet button performs the job responsibilities.

Don’t expect the most irritating social media site’s favorite bullplopper to be hassled with anything as insolent as questions. Twitter could let users figure out what’s worthwhile. But what business would respect its customers?

Anti-Social Media

Posted on by Anthony Bialy

Social media is great except for the social and media parts. It’d be fairly easy to cope with the anonymous dastards provoking reactions with maliciousness from behind the distant security of glowing screens if we were allowed to police ourselves.

But those who don’t trust us with the right to bear arms oppose any other form of self-defense, too. The fey quasi-entrepreneurs behind our despised favorite time-sucking apps still can’t decide if they run publishers or platforms. Bans will remain arbitrary while they ponder what sort of businesses they own.

Someone else saying something is an endorsement. Or not. Do you understand why your account was suspended now? Twitter can’t even settle what a checkmark means, as a mess over who’s verified embodies confusion about whether the New Coke of sites endorses content. Imagine Jim Beam taking responsibility for inflated self-esteem. The identity check should merely be way to determine if the message is authentic, even if it’s from someone inauthentic.

Social media’s whole appeal is controlling our own news feeds. At least, it was. Refreshing to see what’s new in the last 15 seconds is like being hooked on heroin without the high anymore. I’m more ticked we can’t see what we choose in chronological order than about the privacy violations, as our deepest secrets are pretty dull, anyway.

Let us run our feeds to take away concerns about mean things some of our fellow users post. Less meddling by Twitter’s smugly oafish guardians means we’d get control of our timelines back, not to mention the companies who host our thoughts would get to dodge responsibility like they crave.

Grownups already cope with abuse. Curse out anyone who does the same to you first. Feel free to block at will, as denying some troglodytic schmuck access to your content is the closest thing online to a rubber stamp reading “NO.” I wonder how many accounts I’ve muted continue to rage without me ever encountering the invective. The silence sounds wonderful.

Social media minions can intervene for genuine threats. As for lesser craven invective transmitted through the ether, users can experience the closest thing possible to a pro athlete ignoring maniacal insults from losers jealous of the performance.
Let everyone have their say. The problem is often what’s said. But we can sort it out better than any regulator, as the principle doesn’t just apply to commerce. That’s unless you don’t trust people with their own judgment, which, if you’re the sort of person who thinks the economy needs to be micromanaged by Elizabeth Warren, you are.

Forcing evil ideas underground is sure to keep them from festering. A ban allows Alex Jones to feel like he’s persecuted, and that’s as good for his brand as fluoridated water. Steven Crowder doesn’t need any attention, much less any brought by acting like his lame jokes are worth creating commotion. Up yours to anyone who made me defend his rights.

Let lunatics rant like they’re handing out pamphlets. The furor over online hosts allowing unpleasantly unpopular ideas to be expressed is often formulated as “Twitter bans <blank> but lets Nazis stay.” Enjoy the righteousness of condemning the worst people ever. But use awful humans as a test to demonstrate the ability to not overreact instead of pouting.

Shrug at those who’ve been allowed to show just what repulsive germs they are. If someone gets the chance to demonstrate their similarity to pond scum, let them. Those who think everyone to Pol Pot’s right is a Nazi can work on calmness in a slightly different way.

Twitter stumbled upon something amazing which it has worked diligently to ruin since. It’s the George Lucas of social media. Letting users post and discover others who do the same is far too unrestrained for those who feel the Wild West was a filthy time of icky guns and toxic masculinity.

Every online space is ultimately about letting others have their say, even if the said says are unpleasant. Users can sort it out as they add their own ingredients to the stew of ideas, even if they’re as appalling as mushrooms.

The same people freaking out about unregulated society just happen to think you’ll be seduced by unpalatable ideas. The panic is so severe that self-appointed censors can’t decide if they must ban genuinely awful content that’s easily dismissed or lump in everyone calling for a smaller government because wackos with fidelity to some Constitution are a danger to America.

I didn’t even know how impressionable our species was, probably because I watched the wrong sorts of clips. YouTube should ban videos of lava because they tempt me by looking like delicious cherry sauce.

We apparently can’t let the market work, including when ideas are for sale. Some are concerned they have nothing to peddle. Open forums might mean precious feelings get dented, and there really should be an asterisk attached to the First Amendment for the exception of when words make someone feel hurt inside.

Please guard us from cruel thoughts. Virtual hall monitors presume that others are so easily brainwashed by exposure to rotten notions that they need to intervene. Try to unsee nasty words. The presumption about everyone else’s weak-mindedness is totally not projection.

Uninhibited social media is good for more than inadvertently expressing psychological issues. Creating one’s own filter does more than show just how easy journalism is: it entrusts the same people granted free speech as a natural right with the ability to encounter and embrace or dismiss concepts uttered by others. Atrocious ideas poorly stated stand out on their own. Please don’t ban them, as it’s nice of idiots to self-identify.